Release

They walked into the squad room side by side, but they couldn't have been farther apart if they'd tried. He'd held the door for her, just like he always tried to do, but not a word was spoken. She'd expected awkwardness between them, but this surprised her. Perhaps she had made the mistake of thinking their friendship was stronger than it really was.

The room went silent when they appeared. Olivia made eye-contact with her, Stabler, Sledge and Munch eyed Bobby like he was still something of a suspect, and the rest stared at their shoes. It didn't take a detective to know what they were thinking.

"You got something you want to say?" she asked quietly, her gaze flicking to each one as they looked to see who she talking to. "Questions? Comments?" Nobody spoke. "No? Then I'm going to go get changed and then we're going to get back to work, if that's okay with everybody." There was that hard-ass again, but right then, she was grateful. Murmurs of assent drifted through the room as they turned back to their computers, their paperwork, their discussions -- or at least pretended to. She could ignore the covert glances in her direction as she made her way toward the restroom, but the waves of pity that washed over her were harder to deal with. She wanted to turn and ask them, What has happened that I deserve pity? I’m not cursed, I’m not fighting for my life, I’m not the victim here, so what the hell are you pitying me for?

Once she reached the restroom, she closed the door behind her, leaned against it, and cried.