Where We Go From Here

Title:

Title: In Need (1/1)
Author: Michelle K. (CageyGrl@yahoo.com)
Rating: NC-17
Archive: If you have some of my other stuff, feel free to have this too. New archives - drop me a line first.
Pairing: Donna/Leo
Summary: "I still think about that night." (sequel to 'Unexpected')

Disclaimer: Characters from "The West Wing" don't belong to me. Instead, they are the sole property of Aaron Sorkin, Warner Brothers Television and NBC.

Notes: A few pe hav have expressed interest in seeing more of Leo/Donna, so I've decided to continue with them, although I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this. (Heck, if you have any opinions, let me know :-) It might be a series, it might end here. I don't know yet. This is written in Donna's POV.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Blue is blue and so I am
Cause I want to be with you tonight
And you're not the only one in need*
'In Need' by Sheryl Crow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been a little over a month since it happened. What happened between Leo and me.

I still think about that night, although we both said we'd forget it.

"We were both lonely," he had said. "It just happened."

And I had agreed with him. We were lonely. It had just happened. It wasn't something we had to obsess over.

I wanted to disagree with him, but I didn't. If he wanted to forget it, it wasn't my place to try and force it into his memory bank.

I can understand how he would want to forget it; I can understand how, in the light of day, sleeping with me would seem like a 'big mistake' - as he had predicted.

But still, I think about it. I lie in bed alone, trying to sleep and thoughts of him drift into my mind. When I close my eyes, I can see his face as he looked down at me. I think about how he held me...how good it felt to be in his arms. I can still taste his kiss on my mouth. I can still feel him inside me...his hands on my body. My hands on his body.

I still want him. I thought it would pass, but it hasn't. I still feel a connection with him. I still feel that we have much more in common than anyone realizes. I think that, if we tried, we could make each other happy.

I still want him. I think I want him for longer than a night.

And the memories of that night haven't made it any easier.

It's strange, but before that night, I'd never thought of Leo as a man I could be with...as a man I could fall for. And now, it's hard to think of him any other way.

We don't have a lot of interaction at work, which is probably a blessing. But when we do talk, we act normally. I'm actually very proud of how normal I can act while I'm thinking about kissing him.

"Donna?" Josh's voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Josh?" I reply.

"Can I have your full attention?" he asks with just a hint of displeasure.

"Not when you're talking about a Mets game," I retort.

"How can you not like baseball?" Josh grumbles.

"It's very easy, trust me."

"You have no sporting spirit."

"That's the best you can come up with?"

He smirks a little. "Yeah."

"Okay," I reply with a shrug. "Do you know what time it is?"

He stares at me with a quizzical look on his face. "12:47?" he says after a glance at his horrible watch.

"No. It's one-thirty. And if you don't leave soon, you'll be late for your meeting with Senator Hanson."

"Really? Damn, I should get moving."

"What would you do without me?" I say with a smile.

He runs a hand through his hair. "Fall apart?"

"I would think so."

He puts on his jacket. "Walk out with me."

"Are you going to tell me more about baseball?"

"Yeah," he replies. "You don't have to listen, though." He smiles.

"Alright, then," I say with a sigh as I get up.

We walk down the halls. He's saying something about Mike Piazza...

"I really don't know how you can find this boring, Donna," he says.

"It's just a bunch of guys standing around a field, waiting for someone to hit a ball."

"Donna," he whines, as if wounded. "That's sacrilege."

"No, it's not. I've yet to take Mike Piazza as my God," I point out.

In the midst of talking with Josh, I almost run into Leo. I think I stare at him for a few seconds too long...but really, who would read anything into a few seconds? "Oh," I say to Leo. "Excuse me. Josh was distracting me."

"I'm not taking the blame for anything," Josh says holding his hands up in a defensive position.

"It's no big deal," Leo shrugs. He looks at me for a moment before switching his attention to Josh. "I want to talk to you after you get back from the thing with Hanson."

"Okay, Chief," Josh replies.

Leo stares at him. "What's that?"

"It's a new thing I'm trying," Josh explains.

"Stop trying it," Leo declares gruffly.

A smile breaks out across my face.

"Okay." Josh looks at me. "I'll see you later."

"Bye, Deputy," I reply jokingly.

Josh narrows his eyes. "Bye, Deputy Deputy."

My smile grows wider and Josh grows more annoyed.

"I have to go now," he declares. He continues to swagger away, his irritation still obvious.

My gaze returns to Leo, who's smiling slightly.

"I told you. Kindergarten," he says.

"It grows more obvious by the day," I respond.

We stand there awkwardly for a moment. I desperately want to say something to him, but I can't quite come with anything that would be appropriate for the hallways of the West Wing.

"So..." I venture.

"Yeah...I've got work to do," he offers.

"Yeah, me too. So...um, I'll go. See you later."

"Bye."

I turn around and walk back to the bullpen.

And try not to think about whether or not Leo was watching me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My God. It's almost two in the morning and I'm still here.

And there's no better place for me to be.

"C'mon," Josh says. "Let's get out of here."

"Nah...I want to get this finished first," I say with a yawn.

"That's dedication. Just like Mike Piazza is..."

"Josh," I warn him.

"Okay. Just for staying extra late, you get to come in five minutes late tomorrow."

"Thank you so very much," I reply with a roll of the eyes.

"Don't belittle it. Five minutes in D.C. time is like two hours anywhere else."

"I've learned that," I say, once again with a yawn. "See you tomorrow, Josh."

"See you tomorrow, Donna." He throws his backpack over his shoulder. "And any time over that five minutes..."

"I'll no longer be Mike Piazza?"

He smiles. "See you in the morning."

I give him a small wave as he leaves. By the time I finally finish, it's 2:34 a.m.

I put on my coat and grab my bag. I start to walk out and decide, on a strange sort of need, to walk by Leo's office. I notice a light on and move in. Margaret's gone. I remember her talking about having dinner with her sister tonight. He's probably in there alone.

His door is open halfway, and I poke my head in a little. He doesn't seem to notice my presence, which, all things considered, is probably for the best. He's got his glasses on and he's reading something. I've never found the act of reading so sexy.

God, I'm insane. I'm sulking in the shadows, silently commenting on a man's hot reading skills.

I turn on my heel and start to leave when I hear him speak.

"Donna? Is that you?"

I cringe. "Yeah," I reply before turning around. "I was just..." I can't come with a viable excuse. He doesn't even seem that interested anyway.

"Come in," he says.

I move forward, stopping by the doorway. I lean on the wall, trying my best to seem nonchalant. "I was just leaving. Go home and sleep for an hour or two."

"Yeah. I was too. I'm pretty much finished here." He takes off his glasses and puts them in the inner pocket of his suit jacket.

"Leo..." I say.

"Yeah?"

"I don't really know what I was going to say," I reply truthfully. "I..." I've been thinking about you for the past month. This I decide not to say. Doing what I wanted is what got me into this predicament in the first place. And I'm sure he hasn't spent that much time thinking of me. I'm not in the mood to be embarrassed. "Never mind. Do you know how many people have to die before I become President?" I blurt out.

God, I'm an idiot.

"Excuse me? You don't have anything planned, do you?" he questions in a serious manner.

"Not as of yet," I mutter.

"Because if you do, I'd have to tell the police," he continues, obviously kidding with me.

I feel instantly relaxed. "Well, when I do plan something, I'm not telling you."

He sighs. "I should've known you'd be a threat to the country." Leo stands up. "You wanna walk out with me?" he asks.

I shrug. "Sure."

"You aren't going to try and kill me, are you?"

"I promise nothing."

We get to the parking lot. I remember the last time he walked me to my car. And what happened after that.

When we get to my car, he stands there for a moment. He raises his hand up and I think he's going to touch me. But his hand just falls back to his side. "Good night, Donna." He turns and begins to walk away.

"Leo," I call out to him.

He turns around. "Yeah?"

I don't know what to say. I bite my lip a little. "Um...Good night."

I swear he looks disappointed. But that's probably my imagination. "Yeah." He starts to walk away again.

I open my car door, when I hear him speak again.

"Donna..."

I turn around to see him looking at me.

"Donna, I think we need to talk."

"I think so too," I reply.

"That night...I haven't forgotten about it."

I suck in my breath. Nonchalant isn't working. "Really?"

He steps forward a little. "It doesn't make any sense...but I think about you."

"Why doesn't it make any sense?" I ask. It makes perfect sense from my perspective.

"Because it was just a thing that happened...a one-time thing when we both weren't feeling right." He pauses. "I know you've probably forgotten it, but I just had to get that off of my chest."

"I have thought about it, Leo. I definitely have." I know I'm blushing. Damn alabaster skin.

He moves closer to me, gently taking my hand in his. "Donna...Where do we go from here?" he asks me. The same question I had asked him that night.

I smile. "I don't know," I say, repeating his answer. "But I think there's a chance we could make each other happy," I venture. "Being with you that night...it's the best I've felt in a long time." I pause. And I don't just mean the sex," I add.

He looks down, seeming embarrassed. "I know."

"I know you said it could be a big mistake, but I don't think it was. And if we continued this...I don't think that would be a mistake, either."

Leo's fingers gently rub my palm. The contact sends a shot of electricity throughout my body. His eyes return to mine. "There's going to be a lot of problems," he says.

"Like what?"

"Like my age. I'm old enough to be your father. What are people going to think? I'm some sort of dirty old man."

"You aren't dirty or old. And I don't care what people think."

"I think I would. I think people might care how it looks for the White House."

"People don't have to know. Not as long as we don't want them to."

"I don't know about this..."

"You don't have to think everything through logically," I point out. "You just have to decide what you want. Not what other people would think or if it might not work out. Just what you want."

"I want you," he replies, so softly that I can barely hear him.

I'm stunned for a moment - I just stare at him. I have to lean down a little to kiss him - that's the horrible thing about my heels. His lips are just as warm as I recall.

And then I remember that we're in a parking lot at almost three in the morning.

I break away from him. "Leo...maybe we shouldn't do this here."

He notices the surroundings as well. "Yeah, maybe."

"I'll see you at your place. I know where it is."

"Okay."

I climb in my car and take a deep breath. Leo and I are going somewhere now. The waiting and seeing is over.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I arrive, he's waiting for me. I kick off my shoes and cross to him.

Our lips meet briefly before I pull away. "I don't want to forget this in the morning. I don't want you to wake up and want to forget this ever happened," I admit. "I can't do that again. I couldn't even do it the first time."

"I only said that because I thought that's what you wanted," he says as his fingers lightly touch the side of my face.

"I don't. I don't want to hear that," I reply.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks me.

"Yes." I don't know where this reticence comes from. It's as if he's shocked that I'm interested in him. "I'm sure. I wouldn't be here if I weren't. And, whatever happens, this won't be a big mistake." I have a feeling about this...about him...about us.

I silently take his hand in mine and lead him to the bedroom.

He follows.

I sit him on the bed and lean in to kiss him. He kisses me back passionately. I can feel my arousal heightening as his tongue moves around mine.

His hands move up my shirt, travelling reverentially over the bare skin that lay underneath. For a moment, I can imagine staying here forever - that the touch of his hand on my stomach could fill me with warmth forever.

But I know there's more after this.

I pull back from him and begin to take off his clothing. I'm slower this time - more deliberate.

He brings my hand to his mouth and lightly kisses my palm. I gently stroke his face, feeling the lined skin under my fingertips. "Leo...I'm glad I'm here."

"I'm glad we're here," he replies.

His hands move to my back, moving me closer to him.

Leo starts to undo my belt, then my pants. He slides them off me. I step out of them and kick them to the side. Leo pushes up my turtleneck - I help him take it all the way off.

His fingers dance around my back as he showers my stomach with the lightest of kisses. "Leo," I sigh.

How could he think I'd want to forget this?

I break away from him so I can press my lips against his once again.

"Donna," he sighs as he brushes his lips against mine.

"Leo," I reply.

I back away from him, giving him an opportunity to shed his pants and boxers. I take off my undergarments, leaving us both naked.

I smile at him, and he smiles back. He has such an incredible smile and I feel glad to be one of the few to truly see it. It's even better to know that I could cause that smile.

"I never should've said to forget it," he says. "I should never have--"

"That doesn't matter now," I assure him.

He moves back on the bed. I get on the bed and move with him, our bodies barely touching.

He settles on the middle of the bed, and I settle on top of him. I can feel his erection against me, and the contact makes me quiver.

One of his hands moves to cup my breast, this thumb circling my nipple. He replaces his hand with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the center.

I groan deeply, relishing the sensations he's causing inside me. He is way too good at this for a man who's spent most of his life with one woman.

He moves his mouth away, slowly meeting mine again. I love the way he kisses me. It's almost as if our mouths were meant to meet this way. And to think this all started by chance.

Leo moves a hand between my legs and I arch myself into his touch. He rubs me a little with his palm, before gingerly moving a finger into my wetness.

"Yes," I sigh. "Yes."

My muscles clench tighter around him as he moves a second finger inside of me. I breathe deeply as I slowly relax as I move myself into the probing of his fingers. I interlace my fingers behind his neck as I lean back a little.

He moves his other hand to the small of my back, keeping me from moving any further away from him. He thrusts his fingers into me a couple of times before sliding them out and moving his focus to my clit. He takes it in-between his fingers and moves it in agonizingly slow circles.

"Oh God," I gasp as I slowly rock my hips to the incredible movement of his hand.

His pace quickens, moving me faster and faster until the sensation of my orgasm ripples throughout my body. I throw my head back as I cry out. I can feel his lips gently grazing over the valley between my breasts.

I move forward, pressing my lips against his insistently.

"I want you," I whisper as our lips part once again. "I want you."

His hands dance exquisitely over my skin, rubbing as much of me as he can.

"God, you're so beautiful," he says.

I smile. He really thinks I'm beautiful.

My lips move across his chest, as my hands move down his abdomen, stopping before I reach his cock. I hesitate before taking his hardness in my hand.

He moans in response. "Donna," he says softly. I love the way he says my name.

My fingers move tenderly down his shaft. I guide him into me, gradually settling on him.

We moan in unison at the contact. I stay still for a moment, feeling his body against mine, his breath against my cheek.

This feels so right, I don't care about the problems that could come later. I just care about him. I care about us.

We move our hips together, effortlessly finding our own rhythm.

"Yes," I moan. "This..." I don't complete the sentence. It's unnecessary to tell him how good this feels. I assume he's aware.

I move my tongue around his parted lips, feeling his heightened breathing against my mouth. We kiss again, our moans of pleasure mingling together. We move apart a little, trying to keep from stifling each other.

Leo's hands travel to my ass, steadying me on top of him.

"I'm almost there," he utters.

"Me too," I murmur.

His hips move off the bed as he thrusts into me one last time. I clutch onto him as we both come in unison.

I don't know how he makes me feel this incredible.

After we make love, we lie in bed together silently for a long while. Then, Leo speaks.

"I want you to know...I don't want this to be about just sex...this isn't just about sex for me," he says.

"It's not just about sex for me either. It's just a plus."

Leo laughs, and the sound of it surprises me. I've never heard him laugh before. He has a deep, hearty laugh. I smile in return.

"Donna..."

"I want to say some things too. We shouldn't let this affect us at work. And we don't tell anyone until we're ready for them to know."

"Okay."

"And we won't pressure each other. Whatever happens, happens."

"Okay."

"We'll just go with the flow."

"Okay."

"That's all, I think."

He turns his head to mine and leans in. He brushes his lips softly against mine before growing more insistent.

This feels so right. So warm, so comfortable.

He pulls away from me and looks at the clock. "It's almost time to get up, you know," he informs me.

"So it is. Let's try to get a little sleep," I say as I curl up into his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm awakened by Leo gently kissing me on the forehead. "It's a little after six," he says. "We should get moving."

"Okay," I say sleepily as I entangle myself from his embrace. "I should go home and get changed."

"You're leaving?" he asks.

"I should..."

He kisses me, and the feel of his lips against mine makes me want to stay a little longer. But I have to get changed. I wouldn't want people wondering why I'm wearing the same clothes two days in a row. If people did notice, they probably wouldn't say anything anyway - but still, we're supposed to be keeping a low profile. For the time being anyway.

I really should go.

In a few more minutes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I arrive at work, Josh is waiting by my desk.

"You're fifteen minutes late, Donnatella," he scolds.

"Traffic," I reply. "There was a lot of traffic."

Josh sighs as he runs a hand through his hair. "Alright. But you're still not Mike Piazza," he adds with a tiny smirk.

"Damn!" I retort in mock frustration. "You better get going. Staff is starting in a few minutes," I remind him.

"I know. I better move or Leo might kill me."

I smile to myself, thinking of the previous night.

Josh looks at me strangely. "What are you so happy about?"

"Nothing. Just a nice day out," I reply.

"Oh. Okay."

That, and I may have found happiness with Leo McGarry. Or the beginnings of it.

THE END