Itch to scratch

Notes:

Hellloooo ^^
I’m  glad someone is reading this. Sure I would like some feddback, but you can't have everything ^^' 

about the first chapter, I made some edits thanks to these amazing beta readers who helped me:

https://www.fiverr.com/s/xX2xk71 Joe Writer

https://www.fiverr.com/s/Ayel8zR Dewale

and writingdreamscapes from Wattpad ^^

about this chapter, an endless thank you to Dewale, for his suggestions about what to cut/add/keep ^^

II: Not even if you were the last man left on Earth!

Blair's slap hit Dan much faster than her answer.

"Are you nuts, Humphrey? How can you ask me such a thing? That's never going to happen. Never! Not even if you were the last man left on Earth!" She yelled at him, before walking away.

He watched her go, as he massaged his still reddened and aching cheek.

- At least I'm still alive!-

‐‐-------------------------- 

Blair was having some trouble solving the algebra problems the Professor gave to the whole class.
Not that that had ever been one of her favourite subjects, but that morning it seemed even more tricky to her.
Or - and that’s even worse - she almost had the impression that there was a message inside those equations:

b+d=a

d>2c

Blair kept staring at the graph paper.

- Let’s just suppose b is me, c is Chuck, d is Dan. So, b(lair) + d(an) = a… what ‘a’ stands for? ‘Amour’ is a tad exaggerated… maybe ‘answer’? Blair + Dan would be the answer, is this the solution? And what is the other equation saying? d is better than 2c? Dan is better than… Chuck and Carter? Really? -

“This absolutely makes no sense!” She found herself screaming out loud in the silent class.

“I beg your pardon, Miss Waldorf?” The Professor inquired, rather stunned.

Blair Waldorf had always had exemplary conduct.

“I’m sorry, Professor, I don’t think I'm feeling very well.” Blair apologized.

“I think so, my darling. Don’t worry, feel free to go.”

Blair didn’t have to be told twice.

She gathered all her things and left.

She wrapped herself a tad more in her  powder Chloé coat to find shelter from that rather cold morning.

She was heading towards her favourite bakery.
She needed comfort food.
She needed cake.
And this time she would try her best to keep it in her stomach.

As she was eating a generous slice of Black Forest cake, she couldn't help thinking about the whole situation.
Since she had learned to write, she had never left a classwork undone.

But it wasn’t something she would worry about for long.
She was a brilliant student, she would restore her grade point average in a heartbeat.

Her mobile chimed and she realized someone must have taken a picture of her.

Spotted: B leaving school much before the end of classes. How rebel is she aiming to become? What’s wrong, B? Did you receive a bad news, did you recall something important to do or did something unexpected happen?

She shrugged and closed the phone.

If this amused Gossip Girl that much, she was free to go on even all day long.

Blair had other issues to think about.

- What’s the point of restoring my perfect grade point average if Yale is lost forever?- She groaned, taking another forkful.

- Not to mention my pathetic fuss to try to be accepted by Sarah Lawrence… and neither do they want me! I’m bound to attend an ordinary, lame College, with ordinary, lame people.-

Speaking of, Dan Humphrey’s last sentences keep echoing in her head.

Sleep with me, Waldorf. You know, the non-sleep kind.

She couldn’t still believe he had the guts to ask her such a thing.

- Geez, his insufferable cockiness! The slap I gave him was more than deserved. -

She pondered, right before her mobile chimed once more.

It was a text message just from the slapped, cocky guy.

‘Hey, I’ve just seen the GG post. Is everything okay, Blair? Is it for what I said? D’

She wasn’t so sure anymore if slapping him had been the right thing.

-He’s just so caring, why is he? - She wondered as she typed her answer.

‘Don’t worry, Humphrey, you’re just the icing on the messy cake my life is. B’

The answer didn’t take long to arrive.

‘Oh, at least you’re still talking to me. Good. p.s. I’m sure your cake can be fixed. You know I’d like to try. D‘ He made her smile.

- When was the last time Chuck made me smile? I can count just the ones he made me cry. -

At half way, Blair decided she had had enough cake; what she needed then was a friend.

Her best friend.

She dialed Serena’s number and not as much the voice mail as the international change of tone told her how unreachable she was.

- It’s not that proximity automatically means closeness. Chuck is in town and yet I could never feel him more far from me. Since his last Eyes Wide Shut/Corporate espionage sexual escapade, things between us aren’t exactly great. - She pondered as she was searching for the first available taxi to reach home. -Not to mention Carter, he just saw an easy fuck and shamelessly took advantage of it, making me feel even more debased. -

As the taxi was coming in her direction, she stared at the last text message Dan had sent to her.
 

- Chuck always pretends he really cares about you and then he leaves you heart broken every single time you fall into his trap; so what damage could ever do to throw yourself in the arms of someone who already dislikes you? d>2c. What if algebra was right? -

When she entered the penthouse she found Cyrus in the living room, as he was reading a newspaper.

He stopped the moment his eyes met hers.

“Blair! What are you doing here now? You were supposed to be at school!” He walked towards her, as concerned as the second father he tried to be for her.

“I know, but I wasn’t feeling very well; I have such a headache…” She whined.

Cyrus put his finger under her chin, raising her gaze.

“Are you sure it’s just a headache? Your sad eyes seem to tell a different story.” He murmured. “You can tell me everything, darling, the good old Cyrus will always be here for his Princess.”

“Okay. Part of the headache is real, but mostly it’s because something unexpected happened this morning and I keep thinking about it. It could be the worst decision I’d ever take … or it could be something I just need, without even knowing it.”

“I can’t help you with the decision, darling, but I can tell you that not taking any decision could even be much worse than taking one. The indecision would end up eating you from inside.” He wisely advised her. “So, if it’s a good choice, I’ll be even gladder than you. If it’s a bad one, well… don’t be afraid to fall, here there’s a big parachute!” 

“Oh, Cyrus, thank you!” She hugged him, right before heading to her bedroom for the rest she needed.

----------------------------------- 

When Blair opened her eyes she saw Dorota as she was dusting her desk.

“Oh, Miss Blair, sorry. I hope you didn’t wake up because of me!” She apologized, already feeling guilty.

Blair glanced at the alarm clock, indicating it was half past three in the afternoon.

“Nope, I didn’t even hear you; after more than three hours, it was about time I woke up!” She sat up in her king size bed, stirring.

“How do you feel, Miss Blair? Mr. Cyrus told me he saw you so distressed!”

“I feel a lot better. Maybe all I needed was a little nap.” Blair got up.

“You might have not heard me, but I heard you, Miss Blair.”

“What do you mean?” Blair frowned.
 

“You kept murmuring something in your sleep, the same thing, on and on, but I didn’t wake you up, because you seemed so serene…”

Blair was almost afraid to ask that question.

“And what did I keep saying, Dorota?”
 

“ ‘ b+d -2c ‘ , almost as if it was a mantra… I didn’t know algebra could relax you so much.”

-No, no, no, this is not good! I must take my mind off. Shopping. That’s the solution! Unless I can’t go outside, because clearly I have a high fever; therefore I’m delirious. - 

“Dorota, bring me the thermometer!” 

“But, Miss Blair, you don’t look sick at all, you have such a nice complexion; you also said that you feel better…”

“Dorota, don’t discuss my order!”

After figuring out that -of course - she didn’t have even half a line of fever, Blair decided to dress up and go out.

-------------------------------------------------- 

If Heaven existed, Blair was sure it had to look like a Barney’s endless department store.

How could life be cruel to you when you were holding tight a Balenciaga, a Chanel or a Hermès bag, knowing they would reach the cash desk very soon?

And then her eyes landed on the school/office bags for men.

- Look at that black Montablanc shoulder bag. Dan would look so much cooler with it, instead of his old, frayed beige one… - She pondered, right before figuring some details out.

Panic-stricken.

- Wait a minute. Since when do I notice which bag Dan has? And even more worrying… Since when do I call him… Dan?!-

Blair instantly lost any will to purchase and hurried towards the exit.

- I’ll go to the nearest pharmacy and buy a new thermometer, because it’s evident that the one I have at home must be broken. I have a high fever for sure!-

Obviously some other girls had witnessed and framed the scene, informing the source of news par excellence.

Spotted: B at Barney’s, cuddling Hermès and Chanel bags before running away, leaving them on the shelf, seduced and abandoned. This is so unexpected from the Queen of shopping!

------------------------------------ 

Blair blamed the fact that she had slept in the afternoon if the morning after she was already awake at six in the morning.

Of course it wasn’t due to the constant thinking of a certain someone who lived in another borough.

And of course she hadn’t toyed with the idea of wandering through Brooklyn the night before -because, of course, she had come to the disappointing conclusion that she wasn’t even remotely ill, after taking her temperature from the ten different thermometers she had bought, for good measure!-, hoping that she might casually bump into him.

And of course, she wouldn’t have tried in any way to get in touch with him.
With that adamant determination she grabbed her mobile, typing a text message.

‘Any chance you are already up? B’

Dan’s answer came about thirty seconds later.

‘This time you were a Moulin Rouge dancer and I was a wealthy entrepreneur… of course I’m already up. D’

Blair almost dropped her phone, but managed to text back.

‘Care to explain? Are you having a high fever, Humphrey?’

-  How did you dare to steal the fever I was expected to have? I can come by and check it with ten several thermometers! Not that I’d like to come to your house, of course!-

‘Sorry, you’re right, my previous message lacked some context.’

He was so eager to point that out that he split the message and the second part came a bunch of seconds later.

‘It was one of the dreams about us I’m cursed to have since that damn class play. I was writing it down, among the others, that’s why I’m already awake. D”

Blair was so stunned that she almost didn’t notice the third part coming.

‘I shouldn’t have sent this last part, but I'm probably not fully awake yet. Could you please just pretend it never existed? D’

‘Of course, I can’t. And please, try to get fully awake. Meet me here in half an hour and bring some quality bread. B’ She texted back, sending him the address to the only place that gave her a sense of quiet.

----------------------------- 

“Why are we feeding ducks?” Dan wondered, puzzled, as he threw the umpteenth piece of bread in the water at the Gapstow Bridge, in Central Park.

“Because ducks are such cute animals and they deserve to be spoiled a little bit.” Blair explained doing the same.

The wind was about to make her red tartan tam fly, but Dan was faster and fixed it better on her hat.

Placing both of his hands on her temples, grabbing the edge of the hat and putting it a little lower.

It was just a soft, quick contact that left both of them a little puzzled.
The word ‘tenderness’ wasn’t contemplated in their mutual dictionary.

“Huh. Thank you…” she mumbled.

“Don’t even mention it. It would be a pity to lose it. You look very cute with that.” He admitted.

“Is this another of the parts you are not supposed to say because you’re not fully awake yet?” She made him smile.

“I’m fully awake and I guess it’s time for you to explain why I am here, save for having this duck feeding experience.” He made her smile.

“You’re right. So, let’s just get right to it: is your bakery still available?”

“Huh? Are you sure you’re not the one who is not fully awake yet?” He frowned.

Blair chuckled.

“Don’t you remember? To try and fix my messy cake…”

Dan could have even lost his balance and fallen into the pond after such a news.

The ducks probably were just waiting for that, as they kept quacking relentlessly.
If someone had been able to understand their language, they would have comprehended that half of the ducks rooted for the guy to have an unexpected and unappreciated bath in that freezing water; the other half hoped the girl would prevent that, pulling him closer to her, maybe for a little kiss, too?
And they were even taking bets… but none of that happened.


“Oh. Oh! Does it… does it mean you accept?”

“I guess so…” she murmured, preferring to stare at the pond, rather than at him.

“Well, it seems you got rid of all the other men on Earth pretty fast.” Dan added.

That comment made her chuckle so much that she turned to him.

“Your sense of humour must be one of the things that brought me here.”

Dan just had to push his luck.

“What are the other ones?”

“I’ll never tell you!” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Oh, c’mon…” He pouted in a way that was too adorable to resist.

“Let’s just say that I hit rock bottom so hard that not even sleeping with you could make me sink any lower.”

“Hey!” He snapped, insulted, before analyzing what she had just said better. “Wait, was it a sort of twisted compliment?”

“Oh c mon, you must know I let even Carter Baizen have me… so why should I not let you… who are at least intellectually stimulating?” She admitted, right before acting with nonchalance and stealing a piece from Dan’s bread to feed the ducks.

Dan smirked.

“So, I have a good sense of humour, I’m intellectually stimulating… anything else?” He played with the popcorn pom pom of her hat. 

“What about me? You can’t expect me to be the only one saying nice things.” She urged him, fidgeting with his frayed shoulder bag.

“Well, Blair Waldorf, you’re brilliant, smart, highly acculturated, charming, you have leadership in your DNA and you’re a constant challenge; but do you wanna know the best part of you?’

Blair couldn’t even utter a word and confined herself only to nodding.

“I know that inside that bitch shell you always wear there’s a simple girl who just asks for sweetness and respect and I’d like to please her, just for once.” He confessed with a shy, crooked smile.

“Just for once… “ she echoed him, with a faint voice, trying her best to hide how impressed she was, but miserably failing.

“So, my place or yours?” Dan wondered, maybe also to relieve her evident embarrassment.

It worked, because she instantly resumed wearing her bitch shell.

“I guess that seeing Cedric and that garage door once in my life is already enough!’

“Okay so this means your place.” Dan ventured.

He was as embarrassed as her, but he managed to hide it a lot better.

“Absolutely not! I would never want traces of you in my bedroom, let alone in my bed!” She grimaced.

“What about a hotel room? Neutral territory is a good compromise, isn’t it?" Dan suggested.

“It’s not a bad idea…” She considered it.
 

“As long as it is not Chuck’s hotel!” He made her laugh again.

“It won’t be, I’ll take care of everything.”

“So we’re really doing it.” Dan smirked again.

“Yep, but let’s not make it a big fuss! And, sure, there would be a lot of work to do on the imaginary. You would even risk looking charming with an Armani suit… but why should I lose time buying you clothes that I would end up tearing off?”

“What?” Dan looked at her dumbfounded, his eyes very wide.

“What?” She played coy. “Now, chop-chop, let’s finish the bread and get ready for school. Arriving  from opposite directions, of course!” She pointed out.

“I couldn’t ask for better!” He retorted.

----------------------------- 

As soon as Dan stepped into the St Jude’s campus, Nate landed on him like a raptor.
A gossip-raptor.

“Dan!” He cheered, maybe way too thrilled.

“If your goal was to make me have a heart attack, you got pretty close!” Dan muttered, bewildered.

“Oh, don’t be such a pussy!” Nate laughed. “So, isn't there anything you have to tell your dear old buddy? Maybe about a certain fangirl you spoke with?”

“Huh? Yeah, right. I faced her, as you advised me to, and…”

“And?” Nate urged him to go on.

He was totally on tenterhooks.

“And… it’s going to happen. We still have to decide properly when. But once we do, I’ll let you know everything!” Dan patted his shoulder.

-And by ‘everything’ I mean ‘ as little as possible’. -

“Can’t wait to hear about it!” Nate grinned.

“Now we’d better focus on the lesson that is about to start.” Dan tried to change the topic.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’ll reach you later. I still need some fresh air.” Nate replied, enjoying some other time outside.

That’s when he saw Blair.

He walked towards her.

“Blair, I’m so glad to see you. After what Gossip Girl posted yesterday I was sure you were sick and wouldn’t show up today.”

- If only I had a high fever everything would be easier, but I have ten thermometers that proved me wrong. - She mused, before actually answering.

“You shouldn’t trust Gossip Girl’s rubbish so much. It was just a bit of headache, today I’m more than fine.”

“Good for you.” He smiled at his former girlfriend. “But if you have any kind of trouble, feel free to tell me anything. It seems that I’ve become such a good adviser. For example, yesterday I helped Dan.”

Out of the blue, Blair was all ears.

“Really? And, tell me, Nate, how did you exactly help him?”

--------------------------------------------- 

When he had no errands to run and could take his time, Dan loved leaving the school last, when there was no crowd and no confusion on the Campus.

But Blair knew that too and she was just waiting for him to show up.

And finally he arrived.

“You!” She rushed at him, pushing him against the wall, which made the back of his head hit the hard surface.

“Ouch!” He massaged his now aching nape. “Dammit, Blair, what’s wrong with you? What did I do?”

“What did you do?!” She repeated, even more pissed off. “So, am I only an itch to scratch, Humphrey?”

-Shit! I’m dead, but not before I manage to kill Nate and his big mouth!- Dan cursed.

“Well, Waldorf, if you think about it, I clearly said I want to sleep with you just once!” He tried to reason with her.

But it wasn’t an easy task when she was in full bitch shell mode.

“Oh, yes, you did; but it’s not the same as saying that you couldn’t stop thinking about me,  that you dreamed about me…”  She retorted, before taking off the hat Dan found so cute and using it to whip him repeatedly. “Humphrey, you were gaslighting me into having sex with you!”

At the umpteenth whipping, Dan reacted, grabbing Blair’s hand and stopping her.

They glared at each other for a long while, without speaking.

“Sleeping with me is supposed to be unrepeatable, for sure, but also unforgettable.” Blair resumed talking.

“What do you mean?” Dan narrowed his eyes.
 

“Blair Waldorf is not something you can scratch off; Blair Waldorf leaves the sign, like a permanent tattoo.” She stated, proudly, wearing her hat again.
 

“Well, then I’ll look for the best plastic surgery for a removal from my skin!” He struck back, parting from her.

Another few seconds of mutual glaring.

“Well, I guess that after that we are not going to have sex anymore.” Dan muttered.

“What?! Of course we are, Humphrey. We are SO having sex. I’ll let you know where and when!” She replied, angrily.

“Good!” He replied, pissed off, before striding away.

“Good!” She yelled from afar.
 

--

TBC