Insights

Insights
By AnitaB
Chapter two: Grillin’ at work

Finally, the seat belt light came on. Elle squirmed away from Hotch’s knowing fingers and eyes. When the plane landed she could finally get the hell out of here. Away from Hotch and away from Jas—Gideon to the relative safety of her desk. And eventually home. There might even be a full 6-pack in her fridge. Elle could almost feel the bottle opener in her hand.

Maybe the cold glass against her fingers would finally stop them from feeling overheated and tingly. Elle fastened her seat belt and imagined walking out of the office. Murders not-with-standing, she had two days to wrap all this in cotton and pack it away. Two day to get herself back in control to face him Monday morning.

Though Elle couldn’t have said if she meant Gideon or Hotch.

//Two whole days.// Closing her eyes through the slight nausea of landing, Elle smiled at the thought.

The smile held through the airport, the drive, three knowing looks from Hotch, and the front lobby of their building.

“Agent Gideon, your messages.” The receptionist trailed three steps behind Hotch and Gideon reading small notes that Elle only half-heard. Until… “Mr. Robinson called from Quantico Academy about the teaching job. Get back to him ASAP with an answer.”

//Teaching … job.// She hadn’t said lecture or seminar or even conference. It wasn’t a day or week job. It was … more permanent. It was goodbye BAU, hello desk job.

It was Jason leaving them all again, like he’d left Hotch before.

//No,// Elle made her feet keep walking despite the sudden lack of feeling in her knees. She’d be damned if she’d let Hotch notice. Forcing a curve back onto her lips, Elle made herself chat with Reid as she trailed him towards their desks, past the stairs to Gideon’s office. She breathed a sigh of relief as Hotch’s knowing eyes and Gideon’s steadily averted ones both turned out of sight up the stairs. “It was really stupid to come onto that train after me, you know that, right, Reid?”

He ducked his head, just a little, and gave her a small, half smile through the edge of his hair. “That’s exactly what Hotch and Morgan said. But the unsub was escalating too quickly. There simply wasn’t time to teach anyone else the sleight of hands.” Grinning because Reid could just be that cute when he was on the edge of a geek boy logic train. “Any mistake and you and the hostages would have--“

“Stop, Reid,” The grin became a soft smile as she halted him with a hand on his shoulder. “It was the right choice, just a little more danger than I like seeing you put yourself in.” Sitting down at her desk, Elle tried not to listen for the closing of that upstairs office door. Tried not to hear the rustling snap of the blinds closing. That meant they were talking. Capital T, bold and italics talking. Elle wanted to throw up. “I feel a lot better when you’re working your mental magic from another room instead of your sleight of hand that close to the gun.”

Reid smiled slightly and gave her the ‘I’m thinking’ tilt of his head. It was almost enough to get her mind off a second and third set of blinds snapping closed. “So do I,”

The laugh on her lips didn’t sound quite right, but Reid for all his brilliance was no Hotch. “Good, let’s remember that the next time.”

The laugh on his lips made her smile… until… “I never want Gideon to look at me like I’m kidnapping his daughter again.”

//I’m not his daughter,// Elle managed to keep that first instinctual response off her lips. She didn’t think he noticed the half-swallowed sound. //Snappy comeback, that’s what I need.// “Well if you don’t like that look, how about the “kicked my puppy” look he sometimes has.”

Reid smiled, head tilting. “Yeah, that one’s better.”

000

He was about to be grilled. Again. By possibly the best agent he’d ever trained. //The day just keeps getting better.// Gideon rubbed three fingers over his forehead as he watched Agent Aaron Hotchner close all his blinds. He wanted to *TALK*.

That was never good. Especially with Gideon’s fingers still tingling gently.

“Well,” Hotch settled in the chair in front of his desk, eyes watching Gideon’s face.

//The waiting game,// Pressing the splayed tips of his fingers together, Gideon braced both elbows on his desk. //Two could play that game.// “Well, what?”

That smile, Gideon hated that knowing smile. And Hotch delighted in giving it to him for just that reason. “Well, it is a great offer and an even better opportunity Mr. Robinson wants an answer on.”

Odd choice of topic. Yes, the phone message. But the *TALK* on the plane had felt unfinished. And now there wasn’t an ‘Elle’ or a ‘dad’ anywhere to be found. “A great opportunity.”

“A chance to make a difference nationwide, Jason. You’d hand-pick and train BAU teams. Eventually, they’d be positioned to handle a full caseload anywhere across the country.” Those eyes stayed on his as Hotch calmly laid out an entire future for him. One outside this office. Out of the field. Permanently in a class room and away from his own hand-picked team waiting for him downstairs.

One that could save dozens or even hundreds of lives. Catch more unsubs than ever before possible.

A future away from Elle. //Damnit, Hotch.//

His fingers twitched and tingled. Gideon folded his hand together, in what he hoped looked like thoughtful consideration. The twitching might not be as visible that way.

“And Mr. Robinson will be expecting an answer.”

Mr. Robinson wasn’t the only one expecting a response. Hotch was staring at him across a desk, like a shark sniffing blood. He wanted evidence or ammunition for this campaign he was running. But what was the final goal? Hotch didn’t hate either Elle or Gideon. //So why is he doing this to us?// And what response would be the safest?

“I’ll have to give him a call, won’t I?”

//Damnit,// The smile widened, just a little and Gideon knew he’d just handed the man another clip of bullets. And Hotch damn well knew how to take a shot. Or a stab, or where to twist the knife.

“When should we tell the team about your decision?” Hotch leaned back in his chair, hands folded over his stomach. “They deserve to know.”

//Deserve to know what?// Gideon felt the light go on. //That I’m leaving…// He imagined it for a second. Saying goodbye to Hotch again. Sending Reid, Morgan and JJ to work for someone else.

Not seeing Elle every day, the fall of her hair around her shoulders. Not watching her mind work through the twists and turns of a case. The feel of her skin against his fingers and the sound of his name on her lips.

“Maybe after I’ve actually made the decision, Hotch.”

The smile was followed by a knowing nod. “Of course, Gideon, it’s not like you to rush a decision. Take some time to think. Look at the pros and cons. But don’t wait too long to act, Dad. Opportunities don’t wait around forever.”

Knife twisted, barb thrown, Hotch calmly stood and walked out of the office, leaving Gideon alone with his thoughts.

//Cruel enough, Hotch, cruel enough.// Standing himself, Gideon walked to the window and opened the blinds. His team. The closest people he had to family were on the other side of the glass, talking and working like nothing had happened.

Like he wasn’t up here alone thinking and feeling things he shouldn’t. Against his will, Gideon’s eyes found a head of dark hair bent over her desk. The smile she was giving to Reid disappeared the second he turned away. Fake and instantly replaced with a heart-rending look of … insecurity and loneliness. Her fingers rubbed over her wrist as his spread almost helplessly against the glass. //Elle, sweetheart…// He wanted to go downstairs, put his arms around her, and make that look go away. //No,// Jerking back from the window, Gideon mentally slapped himself back to his chair with all the reasons it was a truly bad idea. Yet his fingers stilled itched. “Damn you, Hotch, and damn ‘dad’.”

Time to go. Gideon knew if he stayed with his control this ragged… something bad would happen. Grabbing his coat, he told himself it wasn’t running away.

It was the only answer that made any sense.

000