The Seduction of Kurt Hummel

The Seduction of Kurt Hummel

Part II: Observations

Puck and Finn had their plan in place the next day when they went to school. Finn was still unsure, and Puck just had to keep reminding him of the end goal. Kurt… them… naked… sweaty… or as he liked to put it… Kurt as the meat in their all boy sandwich.

But first they had to find out if Kurt was really into them. They had come up with several scenarios in which Kurt had the starring role, even if he didn't know it. Puck knew they were kind of cheesy, and he was okay with that. He just didn't want Kurt to see through them… not yet.

Finn was nervous, afraid he would mess the whole thing up. Puck had to keep reassuring him. He really was such a girl! Of course, that just reminded Puck of the night before… and he smiled, letting himself get distracted… just for a moment.

"What are you smiling about?" Finn asked.

"Nothin', are you ready?"

"I guess. What if he punches me?"

Puck just gave him a look. Really, this was Kurt. He was not going to punch anyone. Give them an icy stare that would freeze their very soul… maybe. But not punch. He doubted Kurt was into inflicting physical pain. And once more his thoughts wandered. He may have doubted it, but he didn't have any trouble picturing it.

Finn smacked him on the arm.

"Ready?" Finn was giving him a weird look, as Puck wiped away the drool that had accumulated on his lip.

"Yeah," Puck responded. "You go on, and I'll watch his reaction."

Finn nodded, looking really nervous. Puck hoped he didn't hurl all over Kurt. That might just put a damper on things.

Puck opened his locker, trying to look inconspicuous as he watched the scene before him.

On cue Finn walked toward Kurt. His nervousness may have actually helped him as he accidently ran into one of the hockey players who then pushed him, right into Kurt. As Finn tried to extricate himself from the other boy, he ran his hands all over Kurt's chest.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry, Kurt. I hope I didn't mess up your shirt. I know how you like to look good."

"Finn," the other boy said harshly. "Stop that."

"Sorry."

Finn looked dejected at Kurt's rebuff. If Puck didn't know better, he'd think his friend was really upset. And then Puck realized he was upset. Geesh. It was all part of the plan. What was wrong with him?

"Really, Kurt," he muttered. "I'm sorry. Don't be mad."

"I'm not Finn," he responded, irritably. "Just stop touching me."

"Oh, okay."

Kurt gave him a strange look and then walked away.

"I blew it," Finn said as Puck walked up to him.

"You were perfect. We expected Kurt to get mad, remember."

"Yeah, I guess. I just don't like anyone to be mad at me."

"The point is that Kurt was more upset than he should have been."

"I don't know, Puck. He really likes his clothes. And I messed up his Gucci shirt."

"That wasn't Gucci, dude. He was wearing a Marc Jacobs shirt."

Finn gave him a questioning look, and it was Puck's turn to be embarrassed.

"Kurt was wearing it last week… I heard him mention it… you can tell by the… oh, just shut up!" Puck stammered.

"Again… the point is," Puck continued as his friend smiled at him, "Kurt was irritated but he was also blushing. I think he was totally into you."

"I'm not so sure."

"But see Finn, that's why we're looking at several things. There is that chance that he would have had that reaction from any boy falling on him and touching him. I mean it could have been Artie…"

"Artie would have run over his feet though, and he couldn't have fallen…"

"Finn, really. Artie was just an example!"

"Oh, well you could have used a better example."

Puck gave up and just rolled his eyes at his friend. "We better get to class."

As they walked along the hallway, Finn said, "You know, dude. I can totally see why Kurt wears those designer clothes. They feel amazing. I can just imagine that shirt touching my skin."

"But don't you see, Finn? If our plan works, you don't have to be the one wearing the shirt for it to be touching your skin."

They set the next part of their plan in action during lunch. It was simple. Something Finn couldn't mess up. All he had to do was eat. Simple. They had been undecided about what he was going to eat. They thought about ice cream, pudding, anything really that could be construed as erotic. They finally decided on a banana. Fairly obvious, really, but what could you expect when you got your ideas from skinemax? Okay, it was cheesy but bananas were available and believable.

All Finn had to do was enjoy his banana. All Puck had to do was watch Kurt covertly and see if he had any reaction.

…and not get distracted by the sight of Finn really enjoying his banana. Crap! It was difficult to remain impassive… especially when he knew exactly what that banana was going through.

Focus, Puck!

Then he noticed something else. The whole table got quiet as everyone watched Finn eat his banana. Okay, maybe he was enjoying it a little too much! Puck looked around the table. Everyone was mesmerized.

Finn finally noticed how quiet it was and with a mouth completely full of banana, he mumbled, "What?"

Puck had to try hard not to laugh at the expression on Finn's face. The spell seemed to be broken as everyone resumed their conversations. Everybody but one. Kurt was looking down, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. He seemed to be having some internal struggle and Puck had a feeling he had been thinking the same thing… about how nice it would be, to be a banana right about now.

"Okay, Finn. I think we've established that Kurt likes you," Puck said as they walked to their Spanish class.

"Honestly, Puck. I think the only thing we've established is that Kurt likes guys. And we already knew that."

He thought about that. "Actually, I think you're right, Finn," he said.

"I am?"

"We need something that shows he likes you, specifically. Let me think about it, and I'll let you know when I come up with something."

Spanish class was just a review so Puck was able to concentrate on the task at hand. Finding a way to know for sure that Kurt was interested in Finn. He was already fairly sure but he knew Finn would need solid proof before he proceeded.

At one point he had an idea and tried to whisper it to Finn.

"What?" Finn turned around. Why did he do that when he could have just leaned back in his chair?

"Finn? Do you have something to say?" Mr. Schue asked.

Crap!

"No, Mr. Schue."

"Then why don't you come up here and conjugate the verbs on the blackboard for me?"

Mr. Schue had been a lot tougher on the Glee kids since someone had complained to the principal about him letting his favorites off easy.

"Uh, okay," Finn said. Puck could tell he was nervous. Finn was good at hiding it from everyone else but his friend could always tell.

So he watched Finn as he walked to the front of the class. Mr. Schue scowled at the other boy, as he handed him the chalk. He didn't like it when they goofed off in his class.

And then Finn dropped the chalk on the floor. At first Puck thought it was because he was nervous… but then he thought maybe it was so he could stall and try to think of the answer… and then Puck knew. As Finn bent over to pick up the chalk, Puck was drawn to the sight. And realized he needed to be watching Kurt.

The look on Kurt's face was priceless. He was definitely attracted to Finn. It was obvious. Then Kurt averted his eyes and looked over at Puck.

Damn! He was caught!

Puck just gave Kurt his trademark stare as if he totally hadn't been watching Kurt watching Finn.

Kurt raised one eyebrow in response. Puck had to admit, Kurt was good. He wasn't giving anything away.

After class, Puck congratulated Finn on his performance and told him what he found out.

Finn beamed. "See, I don't know why everyone thinks I'm stupid. I have good ideas."

"I don't think you're stupid at all," Puck said smiling at him. "Maybe a little opaque at times…"

Finn gave him a confused look, and Puck smiled even wider.

"Now we have to see if Kurt is into you at all," Finn said. "How are we going to do that? He acts like he really doesn't like you."

"Don't worry. I have a plan."

His plan involved Glee practice. Later when they were all assembled in the choir room, he had his chance. In fact the stars must have been aligned or they had some divine intervention. He smiled at that thought. He was sure his mom would not agree with him there, considering what the end goal was. Mr. Schue however seemed to be in tune with their plans.

"Okay, guys. I have a song I want us to do that is from an '80's band. Cheap Trick. The song is I Want You to Want Me.

He handed out the music as he asked, "Who wants to sing the male lead? Finn?"

"I would like to do it, Mr. Shue."

"Okay, Noah," the teacher said looking surprised.

Puck gave Finn a nod. Finn nodded back his understanding. He was supposed to watch Kurt as Puck sang the song. He just hoped Finn wouldn't get distracted.

Everyone stood up as Puck started.

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me
I'm beggin' you to beg me

The others sang background and Puck walked around them singing. Mr. Shue did that all the time so he figured he could get away with it.

I'll shine up the old brown shoes
I put on a brand new shirt
I'll get home early from work
If you say that you love me

As he sang, he danced around. He put as much sexiness as he could into his performance.

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me

As he sang the chorus he made sure he was singing to Kurt. And then he turned to Quinn, beside him. He didn't want to make it obvious to everyone. The blonde Cheerio seemed to melt.

I'll shine up the old brown shoes
I put on a brand new shirt
I'll get home early from work
If you say that you love me

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me
I need you to need me
I'd love you to love me
I'm beggin' you to beg me

He also made sure to sing to his boy, Finn. That got the other boy a little flustered. He knew he shouldn't have interrupted his concentration, but he just could help himself.

Everyone cheered after the song. Mr. Schue looked a little uneasy at his performance, and Puck realized he may have poured on the charm a little too much.

Afterwards, Puck put his part of the plan into place.

"Man, it is really burning up in here," he said to Artie. Puck was now off to the side of the room. He didn't want to make this obvious. If Kurt was really into him, he would be watching him. If not, then … well he wouldn't think about that.

Puck then proceeded to take off his hoodie. When he did, the shirt he was wearing underneath rode up and his stomach and back were exposed to anyone watching. He didn't draw it out. He wanted this to be a true test.

When he looked back, Kurt was not looking at him. Finn was looking at Kurt. Both Santana and Quinn were looking at him intently, and he smirked at them. They both turned away.

Okay, so maybe Kurt wasn't into him or maybe he was talking to someone at the time.

Mr. Schue dismissed them all, and the Glee Clubbers trailed out one by one. Kurt left without ever looking at him.

In fact Finn was the only one still sitting in his chair. Everyone else, including Mr. Schue had left the room.

"Let's go, Finn."

"I just… I need a minute, okay."

"Why, dude?" And then he noticed the look on Finn's face as well as the fact that he was holding his jacket in his lap.

"Finn, you weren't supposed to be watching me. You were supposed to be watching Kurt." He tried not to be angry at him, but really this was an important part of the plan.

"I was watching Kurt," he said. "And the look on his face as he watched you…well that is why I am having a problem here." Then he smiled at Puck. "Kurt is definitely into you. Whether he likes it or not."

Puck smiled at his friend.

Operation: Seduce Kurt Hummel was back on track.