Can't be helped

A/n: Hello again, everyone. Here is the second chapter. I am going to make this a three parter, unless I get reviews asking for more. Now to the story.

It had been two hours since I’d made my great escape. I’d left Nick sitting on his bed, all alone and probably freaking out. Just how moronic can I really be? I mean, seriously? I had grabbed my jeans, jacket and shoes in like ten seconds flat and raced out of his apartment without bothering to put any of them on. I wonder what the neighbors thought. Must have been quite the sight, I’m sure. It wasn’t until I’d gotten into my car and made it five blocks away that I’d pulled over to put on my pants. When I did, I groaned out loud in pure frustration, banging my head against the steering wheel a couple of times for good measure. Somehow, I had grabbed Nick’s jeans by mistake. Perfect. Just fucking perfect. Oh, but I could really hate myself sometimes.

Sighing heavily, I pulled the pants on anyways. They weren’t too bad a fit, only a size or two too big in the waist and a few inches too short in length. It wasn’t like I was going anywhere but home today anyway, so it really didn’t matter. I’d figure out a way to give them back later. When I could handle it. Right then, I just wanted to go home. So, I started my car back up and made the ten-minute drive to my humble abode.

Now, here I sat, staring listlessly into my coffee cup and replaying everything over in my head. The entire night, right up until I’d taken off like a bat out of hell. Nick, the good boy that he is, had called to make sure I’d gotten home okay. I didn’t answer, of course. It was stated in the message he’d left on my machine. Well, the first one anyway. By the latest count, he’d called my cell seven times, and my house at least five. This really shouldn’t have come as a surprise, but I still jumped every time a phone rang. Why couldn’t he just leave me alone already? Let me wallow in my own stupidity, in peace. The shower that I had taken hadn’t helped to clear my head like I’d hoped it would. The coffee wasn’t helping either. Oh well. Not like I had really expected them to.

The house phone rang again. Of course, I just let the machine get it. If it was something terribly important they’d leave a message and I’d call them back. Simple as that, right? Right. But I was wrong. It wasn’t so simple. Not when Nick’s low voice filled my ears yet again. Only this time what he was saying caused alarm and a small shred of fear to well up inside of me. “Greggo? Will you please pick up?” A sigh. “Look, I know you’re there. I’m outside, looking at your car right now. Please? I just want to talk about this… I can’t… I won’t just leave things so messed up, okay? Not gonna happen. So just man up and let me in, will you?”

It was at this point, that I realized I could hear his voice right outside the door. Fan fucking tastic. Why can I never catch a break? What did I do to piss off the man upstairs so very badly? I guess I’ll never know. “G… Just… Just open up, man.” I couldn’t ignore him anymore. Something in his tone was just so… defeated. I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand the thought that I’d caused it, even more. So I stood and slowly made my way to the front door. My feet shuffling along slowly, hoping that if I took long enough he’d just give up and leave before I got to him. But Nick Stokes was nothing if not a patient man.

True to my expectations, he was there when I opened the door. That wasn’t surprising, no. But the look on his face at first sure was. If I’d thought it hurt when he only sounded defeated, then the way his shoulders slumped and his entire being looked was like a punch to the gut. I stood there, awkwardly as he stared at the ground and spoke softly into the phone. “Please… I just… I need to see you…” I leaned against the doorframe as casually as I could before speaking. “Then look up.” It was almost comical the way he’d jumped. Had it been any other time, I would have laughed and teased him about it. Not this time, though. I didn’t have it in me to even try.

He shut his phone and pushed it into his pocket. The relief that appeared on his face was another surprise. Why didn’t he get that he didn’t do anything wrong? How many times did I have to tell him? He wasn’t the one at fault here. He smiled at me. Not a big grin or anything, just a small little smile. “Hey…” I mustered up a small half smile in return. “Hi.” Without another word, I stepped aside and let out a small sigh. Might as well do this inside where it was at least comfortable. Didn’t want the neighbors to hear this anyway. When he still hadn’t moved, I arched an amused brow. “C’mon in.”

With a quick nod, he was brushing past me and inside in two seconds flat. Nervously, I shut the door behind us. “Coffee? I’ve just made a fresh pot.” I didn’t wait for his answer, just moved into the kitchen and pulled out a second mug. Only trying to buy time, really. I refilled my own cup and made him one too, just the way he liked it. But before I had the chance to turn around and bring it to him, I felt his warmth at my back. Standing so close that I could feel his heartbeat. It was pounding. “Greg?” The way he whispered my name right then was like pure honey, all smooth and thick and sweet. How the hell did he do that, anyway?

I didn’t move or respond for a minute. I just wanted to stay like this. To feel him this close to me always, and somehow I thought that if I stayed silent and didn’t move that maybe this moment might last forever. But that was just wishful thinking and stupid and damn it, I need to think clearly right now. His hands appeared on the counter in front of me. One on either side, caging me in, and fuck it all but I should have seen this coming. “Nick?” I refused to acknowledge how breathy I’d sounded. Choosing instead to focus on his hands. Hands that had held me, and touched me mere hours ago… Okay, hands were a bad idea. Coffee. That was safe. That wouldn’t bring any unwanted thoughts.

“You didn’t stop me last night…” It wasn’t a question. It was a fact and he stated it as such. My hands shook lightly due to nerves, so not cool. I shut my eyes against it and prayed that he wouldn’t notice. “No. I didn’t.” Frowning, I took a sip from my mug, if only to distract myself for a moment, before shooting back, “You weren’t asleep, Nicky.” He leaned a little closer. Not a whole lot, just close enough to rest his chin on my shoulder. “No. I wasn’t. Why didn’t you stop me, Greggo?” I took another sip then set the mug down with a small sigh. “Why did you do it in the first place?” A low chuckle was breathed into my ear and my own breath stuttered. “I asked first.”

At the risk of sounding like a petulant child, this so isn’t fair! I leaned back into him a little, just enough so that my shoulder blades grazed his chest. Enjoying the small sparks that ran down my back. The scars I have are still overly sensitive. Always would be, apparently. I took a deep breath, hung my head and flattened my palms against the counter in an attempt to brace myself. I could do this. I could be honest, had to be. He deserved that much and really, I wanted to know some things too. If I answered his questions, he’d answer mine. I knew that without him ever having to tell me. I don’t know how, I just did. “You asked me, begged me to let you. I couldn’t say no to you. Not then, not now, not ever. Your turn.”

Smooth lips ghosted over the back of my neck and I involuntarily shivered as my mind brought me right back to the night before. “I did it because I couldn’t keep my hands off of you. I always want to touch you, Greg. All the time.” As if to prove his point, he slid his hands off the counter and wound them around my waist. He was right there, right where I wanted him to be. Only this time I couldn’t say it was the Tequila’s doing. My whole frame was shaking, now. There was no way he couldn’t feel it, and that just made me feel so damn pathetic all over again.

“You came, too. Did you like it? Do you like it as much as I do when I touch you?” A velvety hot tongue traced the shell of my ear and I moaned softly. How can he reduce me to this quivering mass so quickly? I was already hard, almost painfully so, and his own answering arousal pressed into my lower back. “Y-yes.” I let my head fall back onto the lean, muscled shoulder behind me and licked my suddenly dry lips. If someone had told me even just three days ago that Nick be holding me like this in my kitchen, whispering such erotic words into my ear, I’d have had them taken for a psychological evaluation. As it was, I thought I myself was going round the bend.

Had to be, because he was dragging his tongue lazily up the column of my neck, and didn’t stop until he reached my jaw line. It was my turn to ask, I knew, but my mouth didn’t really want to form any words past the broken syllables of his name. Still, I had questions. Important ones. If only I could remember what they were. I bit my tongue lightly before trying again. “You d-don’t like mmm-men…” That low chuckle was back and then he was nibbling on my ear. “When did I ever say that?” Well, damn. That sure had my eyes going wide and my heart beating double time. “W-wait. What?” He cut me off, his tone so very amused and not bothering to hide it. “I like to keep my options open… And the only person I actually want, I thought I couldn’t have. So I’ve just been seeing people that remind me of him in some way. But I don’t think that’ll be a problem anymore.”

Not leaving room for any misinterpretation, he pulled me flush against his toned form and I was left wondering how I ever deserved this. His smile was small, but definitely predatory as he gently nuzzled my nose with his. “You want to kiss me.” Again, it wasn’t a question. Though, to be fair if it had been, he’d have already known the answer anyway. So it didn’t really matter. What did matter was that his lips were right there, I mean just right there. Yeah that was me, whimpering yet again. “So, what are you waiting for, G? Kiss me.”

My cheeks flushed and my heart was pounding so hard I knew he must be able to hear it, but that was okay. Because I could feel his, and despite how calm he seemed, his was beating just as fast as mine. He loosened his grip on me, just enough so that I could turn around and face him fully. My still trembling hands buried themselves into his shirt, holding him in place. Not that he was going anywhere, pressing me into the counter as he was. Half-lidded deep brown orbs bored into mine as I leaned closer. Avoiding his lips for the moment, I moved to mimic his earlier actions. Licking a smooth line from his collarbone to his earlobe, it was my turn to smile.

The sound he made was somewhere between a growl and a whine. Which was incredibly sexy, and what made it even better? I was the one causing it. Goofball Greg, the CSI wannabe… Me. My hand moved on its own, up from his side to glide over firm abs, toned chest and muscled shoulders. Up into unbelievably soft short locks. “How long?” I had to know. How much time had I wasted? How many chances had I missed? I pulled back slightly to look into clouded chestnut eyes. It seemed to take him a moment to realize what I was asking him, but then he blinked and smiled again, gently running his fingers over the length of my back.

“When you… When the lab…” He trailed off and I nodded. I had trouble talking about it too, sometimes. He took a breath and continued. “I thought you were gone. Felt like someone ripped off my arm, I swear. Like part of me had disappeared. When you were in the hospital after… I visited everyday. Stayed with you while you slept, made sure you didn’t see me… Still owe Grissom for that one.” And that was when my brain finally caught up with the conversation. “No way… Four years? Four fucking years?!” It was so cute the way his face went all red like that. I had a feeling it might become my new favorite game. How many times can I make Nick blush in one day? That would be a lot of fun.

“You’d flirt, but you never really reacted to me. And you didn’t seem to be into guys at all, so I figured I’d just let it be. But you were watching me last night… I saw you. And you were responding to me, too. You shivered… and it felt so nice. You’re so warm and I just wanted you to stay. Didn’t think you actually would. I couldn’t help myself. You were just too tempting. Do you know how sexy you are when you make those little noises? Or when you said my name like that?” He subconsciously rocked our hips together lightly, making a small almost tortured sound escape my throat. “When you told me to come for you, I damn near lost my mind.” And his twang was making an appearance yet again. God, I love it when that happens.

The way he spoke could leave a rock breathless. It was my throat that emitted a low growl this time, and in the blink of an eye, I had backed him up and pinned him against the fridge. “You do things to me with the smallest touch, or a smile. You just…” I took a moment to study his features. The curve of his jaw, the way he gently pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, even the way he smelled drove me wild. “You blow my mind and you don’t even try. Do you know that?” A tiny little whimper from his now parted lips left me breathless, and his next words were probably the best thing I’d ever heard in my entire life. “Then show me Greggo. Please? I can’t take this teasing anymore. Kiss me…”

Now, this shouldn’t have come as a surprise to me. The fact that such a glorious moment would have to be interrupted. But as I have already stated, the world just isn’t fair. I had leaned in to him, sliding a leg between his thighs, lips less then an inch away from their goal… when his cell phone rang. His eyes showed just how upset he was as well, but he slipped his hand into his pocket anyway and flipped it open. “Stokes.” Being as close as I was, it wasn’t hard to tell who was on the other end of the line. Grissom just had to fuck this up for me, huh? I pressed myself fully against Nick and proceeded to bang my head against the fridge while they spoke. “It’s Grissom, I know I gave you the night off but there’s been a triple homicide and I’m going to need all the help I can get. Warrick and Sara are already out working another scene.” Nick just said that he’d be there in twenty, and Grissom rattled off the address before hanging up.

I mentally counted down from three, and just as I hit one, my own cell phone rang. “All work and no play…” I mumbled and answered the call, my forehead still resting against the fridge. A low chuckle not two inches from my ear only made me frown further. The only plus was that Nicky had buried his face into my neck and let his fingers gently roam over my back while I told Grissom that I’d be there A.S.A.P. Still frowning, I stuffed my phone into my jeans and pulled back a bit, only to see him smiling a bit sadly. Arching a brow, I decided that just wouldn’t do. After all, there was always time for a kiss, wasn’t there? Dragging my left hand from his hip, I traced a line up the center of his torso, delighting in his shiver, before cupping his jaw. I lazily let my thumb drag over his bottom lip, savoring the texture.

Men should not have such soft, inviting lips. But it seems that they do. At least this one does, and I wasn’t about to complain. With a wicked little grin, I ghosted my lips over his teasingly. Once, twice, a third time before actually pressing fully against them. There was a moan coming from one of us at this point, or maybe it was both of us, but I didn’t really care. One of his hands moved to curl into my shirt while the other slid into my hair, holding me in place. Not that I was going anywhere just yet, but it seemed like he wanted to make sure of that. I wasn’t about to argue. A slight tingle shot down my spine as he gently bit my bottom lip. I complied instantly with his less then subtle demand and opened my mouth to him.

He tasted like cinnamon. The thought wouldn’t leave my head, as he pressed closer and moaned. My tongue met his half way and curled playfully around it before flicking lightly and retreating back into my mouth. He followed me, like I knew he would, and I used the opportunity to suckle his tongue, something that I myself quite enjoyed while kissing. He did too, apparently. If the low rumble coming from his chest was anything to go by. The kiss was slow, and soft and I wished with all of my being that it didn’t ever have to end. But that was stupid and I knew it. We stayed like that for a few minutes, I think. Not really sure how long it was before I finally drew back, dropping one last peck onto slightly swollen lips.

His slow smile and half lidded eyes were quite the sight to behold. Cheeks flushed and lightly panting, I smiled back. “Later.” He whispered, a world of promise conveyed in that one simple word. I nodded and reluctantly stepped back, out of his personal space and away from his warmth. “Later.” I agreed. With that, he left while I went and tugged my shoes on. The cheesy grin I sported hurting my cheeks, but it hardly bothered me. Nothing could ruin this day. Not Grissom, not work. Hell, lightning could strike me dead right now, and I would die a happy man. I had tasted the drug known as Nick Stokes, and soon I would be able to do it again... and again and again and again. Maybe the all-powerful being up there didn’t hate me as much as I thought.