Heartbeats

“She can’t,” I said, stumbling for my next words. “She’ll find her way back. She has to!”

My words seemed so sharp and angry that I was surprised he didn’t flinch. He never seemed to flinch, though. If I didn’t know him better, I would almost think he never got scared. But I do know him better.

“Doctor,” I began, but I had no idea where my words were headed. They were far ahead of my mind, which was now going at the break-neck speeds of a turtle.

He looked at me, and my mind stopped completely. “I’m sorry, Rose.”

“Don’t,” I began, my face scrunching in a rebuff. “This isn’t then end, or anything. We’re just stuck. It’s not like we’re going anywhere, and there isn’t anything out here to get us.” My thoughts went back to the time where I almost got pulled into the void, but the Doctor was there to save me. He was always there to save me…

This couldn’t be anywhere worse than the void.

But what if, I found myself thinking. What if this is it?

And before I could talk myself out of it, I shifted so I was on my knees. My hand went to his thigh for support, but to also get his attention. He looked into my eyes, and for the first time I saw just how old his soul was… How beautiful. And without any hesitation, my lids fluttered closed and I brushed my lips against his.

At first, nothing happened. I didn’t dare to open my eyes, because if he was looking at me, then it was probably scornfully.

You idiot… I thought to myself, quickly regretting my split-second decision. Do NOT open your eyes… You’re so stupid, I can’t believe you just-

I felt his lips on mine then, softly pressing into them as though with a question mark all over it which instantly stuffed my thoughts.

My kiss gave his question mark a definite exclamation point as my hand free from his thigh moved to cup his jaw. I could hardly believe what was happening, and before I would have liked, he pulled away from me. I didn’t object, because I was already blushing from happiness at what I had gotten in return, but I would have liked to kiss him for much, much longer.

It was only then that I dared open my eyes, and even then it was only enough to see through my lashes. The Doctor was looking at me, waiting patiently. I couldn’t get any kind of expression from him that would tell me what he was thinking.

Some part of me figured he meant it to be that way.

My heart pumped fear through my veins as I waited for the repercussions. His chocolate eyes stared into my own, almost waiting for me to say something first, but I wouldn’t. I couldn’t…

“Rose…” he began, his voice steady but unsure. I waited, rather less patiently than him. “T’gney ip shentre.”

I had no idea what he said.

My eyebrow cocked while I waited for him to explain, but when he showed me a partial melting grin, I knew I wouldn’t be getting any kind of satisfactory explanation. “I’ll tell you what it means later,” he smirked at me before lifting a hand to my cheek.

At that point, I had to move; my knees were starting to kill. I swung my feel under me and was going to move to sit next to him, but in a flash, he had his arms under me, pulling me against him.

I was sitting with my bum on the floor and my legs over his lap; my automatic reaction was to place an arm behind his head and loop it so I was secure. But how could I not be, sitting in the Doctor’s arms?

“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.

“For what?” he asked me, slightly more chipper than before. All traces that he was crying were gone except for slight salt stains and the light red line under his eyes. He wouldn’t take his eyes away from mine.

“This seems like the wrong time for… anything,” I couldn’t find the right words, once again.

He smirked at me, making me blush once more, “It is the perfect time, Rose.”

But then, as I began to lean forward, hoping to latch onto another – hopefully longer – kiss, I heard something. I ignored it the first time, but when the second and third time, I knew it wasn’t just my pulse. There was something definitely thumping on the side of… it couldn’t be.

I looked at the Doctor with a questioning stare, “Is that from outside?”

As though the unknown sound were a wake-up call, I quickly moved my legs out of the way so he could stumble up and out of the crawl space. I was close behind, as always.