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Bags not... Rick!
folder
S through Z › The Young Ones
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,450
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
S through Z › The Young Ones
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,450
Reviews:
1
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own "The Young Ones" or any characters or settings from the series. This story was written for fun, and nobody is making any financial profit with it.
Ew! Mike! Vyvyan's come over all funny!
It’s a cold, grey morning, and Rick doesn’t want to get out of bed. It’s warm and cosy in here, and also, he’s not done with the general inspection of his bottom condition. He doesn’t usually check on these things in the mornings (although it’s an important thing to worry about), but now he’s feeling consequences to the broom closet events yesterday.
First, it hurt, then it slowly stopped, after an hour or so. Now, as if he’s suffering from a case of sore muscles, it’s back, and he feels it every time he sneezes, coughs, or moves his legs.
For the umphteenth time, he tries his sphincter muscle. Yep, it still stings.
Can you walk with something like this? Rick has heard that some people couldn’t.
There’s a knock, not exactly a polite one, and then: “Rick? Rick, are you awake?”
He rolls on his back and turns his eyes upward. “No. I’m sleeping. Bugger off.”
Vyvyan – note, actually using the door handle! – comes into the room. “Are you still in bed?” he asks when he sees Rick.
“No, Vyvyan, I’m out on the roof, singing opera. What do you want?!”
“Oh… just checking if you’re alright.”
“Ahaha. Now what do you want?”
“Just asking. You’re not feeling… funny, are you?”
“Funny how?” Rick sits up. This tone of pathological interest doesn’t sound good.
Vyvyan coughs. “Well… well, I… I had a look at my books, and I read that… you know, what we did can be dangerous when you break something. You can get a nasty infection.” He coughs again, and scratches the back of his head. “I found… I found some blood on me, ‘s why I’m asking.”
Rick sits up, pain forgotten, and snarls: “I’m not discussing my health with you of all people, and neither my bottom, so you can just sod off and get on Mike’s nerves, or Neil’s, I’m sure he’d love to tell you what his lentils look like when he sets them free!”
“Aha. So you’re fine. Great.” Vyvan rubs his hands and turns to leave.
“No, I’m not bloody fine, I’m in bloody pain, and it’s your fault!” shouts Rick.
Vyv seems to think about this, and then he takes a book from Rick’s nightstand and hits Rick over the head with it. “Now you’re in pain.”
Rick holds his head and desperately tries to come up with a witty reply. “If I die of blood poisoning, you’re the one to blame!”
“I’ll start believing in blood poisoning when you’re too weak to be a bastard.” Vyvyan grins, turns around and leaves the room.
“Bastard”, mumbles Rick, and after comparing his head pain to his bottom pain, he decides that it’s a good day to stay in bed.
The door falls closed.
Vyvyan came crawling to ask if Rick was alright. Hah. He’s sorry. He had better be. Rick snuggles into the cover and smiles nastily.
He’s feeling bad about it. Haha.
Rick wonders if there’s anything humiliating he can put Vyvyan through. To compensate for about 100.000 things, starting with chasing the girls away on Rick’s party, and ending with the day he forced Rick to wear a sign saying “I’m a virgin”.
Only, it strikes him, now he isn’t. Weird. This wasn’t even proper sex.
Oh no. Vyvyan is going to tell everybody as son as opportunity strikes, isn’t he? Oh, the mockery from everybody in the house, Rick couldn’t take it…
“He took it like a good bitch!”
Oh no.
“That cute little bottom is good for more than just sitting on, I tell you!”
Rick jumps up, trips, finds his slippers and reels over to Vyv’s room.
“Vyvyan!”
“Yeah, what do you want?” asks Vyv, who is sitting on his bed, one foot on the other knee, scraping the dirt from under his toenails with a bread knife.
Rick slams the door shut. “You don’t plan to tell them, do you?”
“Hm. Why not?” Ah. Wrong choice of words. Now Vyvyan is interested.
Rick has an idea. “Give me that knife for a second!” He could make it look like an accident… like Vyvyan slipped…
Vyv holds the knife away from Rick. “No. Get your own.”
“I swear to Cliff, if you tell anyone…”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go downstairs to Mike and Neil, and say: Last night, I snogged Rick, with tongues. And then I stuck my cock into that bit he uses when he makes that unmentionable mess he always makes after we eat curry lentils, and which is so horrible we agreed never to speak about it.” He pokes the knife into the mattress. “I don’t want to look gross like that.”
Rick swallows the insult along with the relief. “Fine”, he says, and turns around to leave.
“Rick?”
“Yeah?”
“You’d better not walk around too much.”
“Ahaha. Thanks for your concern. What do you think I am, a delicate little princess?”
“The guy who has to explain to Mike why he’s limping”, says Vyvyan nastily.
Rick flips him off and waddles back to his own room. It’s a good day to spend in bed with Nietzsche and Marx.
Vyvyan is worrying about him. Guess his interest in physical damage comes from his course of studies. Still, it feels good. Let him worry just a little more. Let him stew. And here Rick was, thinking that Vyvyan would be the first to laugh if Rick caught an infection in his bottom, but no, he’s worried…
“Oh damn.” Rick stops in his tracks, mouth open.
It is then that he realizes that Vyvyan does really, really fancy him.
TBC :)
First, it hurt, then it slowly stopped, after an hour or so. Now, as if he’s suffering from a case of sore muscles, it’s back, and he feels it every time he sneezes, coughs, or moves his legs.
For the umphteenth time, he tries his sphincter muscle. Yep, it still stings.
Can you walk with something like this? Rick has heard that some people couldn’t.
There’s a knock, not exactly a polite one, and then: “Rick? Rick, are you awake?”
He rolls on his back and turns his eyes upward. “No. I’m sleeping. Bugger off.”
Vyvyan – note, actually using the door handle! – comes into the room. “Are you still in bed?” he asks when he sees Rick.
“No, Vyvyan, I’m out on the roof, singing opera. What do you want?!”
“Oh… just checking if you’re alright.”
“Ahaha. Now what do you want?”
“Just asking. You’re not feeling… funny, are you?”
“Funny how?” Rick sits up. This tone of pathological interest doesn’t sound good.
Vyvyan coughs. “Well… well, I… I had a look at my books, and I read that… you know, what we did can be dangerous when you break something. You can get a nasty infection.” He coughs again, and scratches the back of his head. “I found… I found some blood on me, ‘s why I’m asking.”
Rick sits up, pain forgotten, and snarls: “I’m not discussing my health with you of all people, and neither my bottom, so you can just sod off and get on Mike’s nerves, or Neil’s, I’m sure he’d love to tell you what his lentils look like when he sets them free!”
“Aha. So you’re fine. Great.” Vyvan rubs his hands and turns to leave.
“No, I’m not bloody fine, I’m in bloody pain, and it’s your fault!” shouts Rick.
Vyv seems to think about this, and then he takes a book from Rick’s nightstand and hits Rick over the head with it. “Now you’re in pain.”
Rick holds his head and desperately tries to come up with a witty reply. “If I die of blood poisoning, you’re the one to blame!”
“I’ll start believing in blood poisoning when you’re too weak to be a bastard.” Vyvyan grins, turns around and leaves the room.
“Bastard”, mumbles Rick, and after comparing his head pain to his bottom pain, he decides that it’s a good day to stay in bed.
The door falls closed.
Vyvyan came crawling to ask if Rick was alright. Hah. He’s sorry. He had better be. Rick snuggles into the cover and smiles nastily.
He’s feeling bad about it. Haha.
Rick wonders if there’s anything humiliating he can put Vyvyan through. To compensate for about 100.000 things, starting with chasing the girls away on Rick’s party, and ending with the day he forced Rick to wear a sign saying “I’m a virgin”.
Only, it strikes him, now he isn’t. Weird. This wasn’t even proper sex.
Oh no. Vyvyan is going to tell everybody as son as opportunity strikes, isn’t he? Oh, the mockery from everybody in the house, Rick couldn’t take it…
“He took it like a good bitch!”
Oh no.
“That cute little bottom is good for more than just sitting on, I tell you!”
Rick jumps up, trips, finds his slippers and reels over to Vyv’s room.
“Vyvyan!”
“Yeah, what do you want?” asks Vyv, who is sitting on his bed, one foot on the other knee, scraping the dirt from under his toenails with a bread knife.
Rick slams the door shut. “You don’t plan to tell them, do you?”
“Hm. Why not?” Ah. Wrong choice of words. Now Vyvyan is interested.
Rick has an idea. “Give me that knife for a second!” He could make it look like an accident… like Vyvyan slipped…
Vyv holds the knife away from Rick. “No. Get your own.”
“I swear to Cliff, if you tell anyone…”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna go downstairs to Mike and Neil, and say: Last night, I snogged Rick, with tongues. And then I stuck my cock into that bit he uses when he makes that unmentionable mess he always makes after we eat curry lentils, and which is so horrible we agreed never to speak about it.” He pokes the knife into the mattress. “I don’t want to look gross like that.”
Rick swallows the insult along with the relief. “Fine”, he says, and turns around to leave.
“Rick?”
“Yeah?”
“You’d better not walk around too much.”
“Ahaha. Thanks for your concern. What do you think I am, a delicate little princess?”
“The guy who has to explain to Mike why he’s limping”, says Vyvyan nastily.
Rick flips him off and waddles back to his own room. It’s a good day to spend in bed with Nietzsche and Marx.
Vyvyan is worrying about him. Guess his interest in physical damage comes from his course of studies. Still, it feels good. Let him worry just a little more. Let him stew. And here Rick was, thinking that Vyvyan would be the first to laugh if Rick caught an infection in his bottom, but no, he’s worried…
“Oh damn.” Rick stops in his tracks, mouth open.
It is then that he realizes that Vyvyan does really, really fancy him.
TBC :)