Fall Forever

Title: Fall Forever

Part 2 of ?

Author: Raythe

Fandom: Gossip Girl

Pairing: Lily Bass/Chuck Bass

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl and I do not make any money from these writings.

Warnings: AU, Angst, Romance

Background and Summary: This story was inspired by the episode where Jack Bass attempts to rape Lily in the powder room at the opera and Chuck saves her. Chuck moves back in with Lily, Serena and Erik. The closeness between Chuck and Lily grows blossoming into something else. It comes out that Bart Bass was researching into the history of Chuck’s mother and had some of her family’s heirlooms delivered to Miskatonic University for study just before he died. Intrigued that his father was looking into his mother’s family, Chuck and Lily decide to investigate. What they find is unexpected and dangerous.

I’ve taken some liberties with Chuck’s family history. As you will discover in this chapter, I’ve had Chuck’s mother die in a mysterious manner and am weaving her family’s history with hints of a famous Lovecraft story.

Please let me know what you think. Reviews are my life’s blood.

Raythe

CHAPTER TWO: HEIRLOOMS

“Nathaniel, what are you up to on this day of days?” Chuck asked into his cell.

Chuck was just putting the finishing touches on his hair. He stared back at himself in his bathroom mirror, noting with approval that he looked well-rested even though he felt like road kill. His eyes itched with the need to close and his movements were languid almost to the point of sluggishness, but he wouldn’t tempt fate by going back to sleep. The dream would engulf him again like it always did and Lily wouldn’t be there to save him this time. She was meeting Rufus for breakfast. He saw the sneer he made in the mirror at the thought of the aging rocker.

“You do realize what time it is, Chuck. Did you not go to bed at all last night? There’s no way you’d be willingly up this early,” Nate said, laughter in his voice.

“No, I was chased from sleep by … well, monsters of my own making. Can you meet for breakfast?” Chuck asked, trying not to sound as desperate for company as he felt.

“I’m … ah … kinda busy right at the moment …” Nate said. “Maybe later?”

“Ah, the fair Vanessa … or is it Jenny Humphrey today?” Chuck asked and tightened his hand imperceptibly around the phone. With Nate, Chuck always came second to his newest crush.

“Can’t really talk to you about that now. But I’ll call you later, okay?” Nate asked.

“I’m not one to stand in the way of young love, Nathaniel. Later then,” Chuck said and ended the call, swallowing his bitterness.

He leant heavily against the vanity. Perhaps he could call Blair, try again to raise their friendship from the dead, but no, even if things weren’t so glacial between them, she would be busy going to school. Couldn’t miss a day and risk losing Yale. Serena and Erik would be at school, too. Chuck didn’t have to go anymore. First, he had been excused due to his father’s death and then Lily had somehow arranged for him to be on a semester long “internship” at Bass Industries.

Lily.

He shut his eyes. So damned thoughtful. Then again maybe it was merely shrewd. She knew he wouldn’t go even if it had been required of him. Better not to have to deal with the Headmistress’ phone calls about his mounting absences or ridiculous daily arguments about why he needed an education.

Lily was still here. He could see her one last time before she went off with Rufus. Maybe even convince her to stay with him instead.

With that thought, Chuck pushed off from the vanity and loped downstairs. He slowed his pace as he entered the living room. Lily was sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace. Her hair now bound carefully, a few tendrils trailing artfully down to softly frame her face. She was reading something that perplexed her. Her mouth was pursed in consternation. He padded over quietly so that she didn’t hear him and continued to read, touching a pen to a sheaf of papers, making marks of things of interest. Lines of concentration furrowed her brow. He loved when she looked like that, all of her focus on something, showing she was so much more than a vapid socialite. His father had been wise to court and marry her.

Chuck leaned against the fireplace and just studied her. She was wearing a cream cashmere sweater and jeans that hugged her hips and accentuated the slimness of her thighs. A single ruby pendant hung from a slender sliver chain between her small breasts. This casual, yet elegant look was to make Rufus feel more comfortable with her, Chuck knew. She could wear a potato sack and still look beautiful so it didn’t matter, but Chuck found it irritating that Rufus couldn’t fully accept Lily for who and what she was. Chuck would never be intimidated by Lily’s world, because it was his own. Rufus didn’t belong. Chuck only wished Lily saw that.

Her forehead puckered more as she flipped over to the next sheet of paper. Chuck longed to smooth the lines of stress from her forehead with his fingers or a press of his lips. He wondered what on earth she would do if he did that and if it was worth the risk of moving too fast to find out. It was then she finally noticed him. Her eyes started at his feet and swept up his body to his face. He felt an unaccustomed blush heat his cheekbones.

“I hope I look better than I feel,” he said with a self-mocking smile.

“You always look … very handsome, Charles,” she said, hesitating only a moment before giving him the compliment.

“And you look … very lovely … as always,” Chuck said.

She smiled and there was a spark of something in her eyes, but she quickly hid it behind motherly concern. “Are you sure you should be up? Perhaps some more rest would be better.”

Chuck shook his head. “I’m awake. I don’t want to sleep.” Ever again, he added silently to himself.

“Well, I can understand that … I suppose. I just don’t want you to risk getting ill,” she said.

Chuck’s eyes widened and he snorted softly before saying, “You know what I’ve done to my body in the past with drugs and alcohol and sex. And you’re worried I’ll get sick from not getting enough sleep?”

“It could happen! Well, maybe not,” she chuckled and then really laughed, her shoulders shaking with it.

He laughed more, too, until his sides hurt with it. He knew their laughter was tinged with hysteria. Maybe he wasn’t the only one not sleeping. And the laughter in him died. He cursed Jack. And Rufus. And whatever else was keeping Lily from her rest.

He sat down beside her. A line of warmth between them as their thighs almost touched. He flicked a finger over the papers she still held in her hand.

“What’s this?” Chuck asked.

“Oh, it’s so strange. It’s something your father was working on before he … before the accident,” Lily said and handed the papers to him.

Some tight part in him that didn’t believe anyone would every trust him loosened at the easy way she shared things with him. His eyes scanned the papers as she talked.

“He’d been researching the Marshes … an old New England family,” Lily said.

“Marsh? That’s my mother’s family name,” Chuck said sharply and a tendril of cold inched up his spine.

“Your mother’s … oh, well, perhaps that explains his interest then,” Lily said and leant nearer to him, pointing to some of the lines on the paper of items purchased. “He’d located several ancient manuscripts that had been in the Marsh line for centuries. And other heirlooms, which aren’t described.”

“I don’t know why he would do this. My father would never speak of her. My mother. She died soon after I was born. She … she walked into the ocean. Drowned,” Chuck said.

His lips felt numb. He couldn’t remember her: Caroline Bass nee Marsh. He’d tried to question his father about her, but the older man would tell him little. Only one night when Bart had been uncharacteristically drunk he’d told Chuck that his mother had had dreams. Terrible dreams that seemed to creep into their lives. He’d laughed harshly and looked, for the first time ever in Chuck’s experience, afraid. It wasn’t lost on him that he, too, was having horrible dreams. But didn’t everyone? Surely it didn’t mean anything.

Lily’s hand suddenly was on his forearm. He could feel the warmth of her skin. “Oh, Charles, I’m so sorry.”

“He used to say that I … that I looked just like her. That I had her eyes,” Chuck said. “The Marsh eyes.”

“She must have been very beautiful then,” Lily said, gently.

Chuck gave a mirthless chuckle, “It wasn’t a compliment.”

“That can’t be. Your father loved—“

Chuck cut her off, his gaze focused on the fireplace as he explained, “There was something wrong with her. You can see it in … some of the later photos. She doesn’t look … I mean, she’s beautiful, but there’s something … off. I think he was afraid that she passed it onto me.”

Lily cupped his face like she had done earlier that morning and made him turn towards her. Her eyes had that look of love and acceptance that Chuck found so enticing and frightening at the same time.

“I don’t believe anything’s wrong with you. I know nothing is wrong with you. Just the opposite. Perhaps your father was gathering these things about your mother’s family so you could have them,” she said.

“Lily, my father burnt all my mother’s clothes, sold her jewels, even threw out her hairbrush as if everything she touched was … contaminated. He wouldn’t want me to have anything to do with her,” Chuck said. “Or the Marsh family.”

“Well, it looks like he spent quite a bit of time tracking her family heirlooms down. There must be a reason he did it,” Lily said. “Look they are to be delivered to Miskatonic University today. He hired a Dr. Frederick Wilkinson to … study them. Maybe Dr. Wilkinson will know why your father did this.”

“Miskatonic University. Isn’t that the place where they do they do all the scientific research into the paranormal?” Chuck asked.

“I think so. It’s a first class institution even if its focus is … unique,” Lily said.

Her breath was perfumed with mint and felt hot against his face. “Unique? Hmmm, sounds like quite a place. I think I’ll go there to see Dr. Wilkinson and my father’s … last treasures. Come with me?”

He felt her still by his side. Chuck knew the dance that was to occur between them now. She would say she was supposed to meet Rufus for lunch and so she couldn’t go with him. Then he’d remind her of how alone he was in the world. Guilt would then move her and she would be at an impasse of what to do. Spend time with her adopted son or her lover. Chuck wanted to show her that those people could be one and the same.

That’s how things were supposed to progress with them.

But she surprised him.

“I’d like that, Charles. I just have to make a phone call first and get my coat,” she said and rose from the couch.

Shocked, he didn’t move for long moments. She walked over to the next room before flipping open her cell phone and pressing a number on speed dial. He rose and wandered close enough to hear, but far enough away so it wouldn’t be obvious he was eavesdropping.

“Rufus?” She said and did her voice sound a cool note? “Yes, its me. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to cancel our plans for today. Yes, something’s come up with Charles.” There was a long pause. “I’m sorry you’re disappointed. I’ll make up to you. How about dinner tomorrow? We can even stay in. Wonderful. Love you, too.”

Chuck retreated to the hall closet to get his own floor length black dress coat. His chest had constricted when she said she’d loved Rufus while another part was soaring that she chose him over the other man. They would get to spend the whole day together.

Lily walked over to him then, her flared camel-colored dress coat hanging over her arm, a matching purse clutched in her free hand. He took the coat from her and held it up for her.

“Thank you, Charles,” she said over her shoulder as he helped her slip the coat on.

Her flowery perfume flowed over him. It had a hint of spice to it that he found addictive. He laid his hands on her shoulders and slid them down to her forearms, smoothing the coat’s line out. She relaxed against him and they stood there like that for a moment: her back to his front.

“We should go. The University’s a few hours away by car,” she said, but made no move to break away from him.

“I’m glad you’re coming with me,” Chuck said softly into her ear. “I didn’t want to be … alone today.”

She turned in his arms. She was a few inches shorter than him so she had to look up to meet his gaze. The look she gave him was prize enough for baring even a part of himself to her.

“I could say that you’re not alone that you have family. But I know that … sometimes even when we’re with the ones we love, we can still feel … alone, isolated,” she said softly.

“Is that how you feel? Even with Rufus?” Chuck asked, almost willing it to be so.

She stiffened in his arms and began to back away. It was like the mention of Rufus’ name made her realize they were embracing. “We shouldn’t talk about Rufus. We shouldn’t … shouldn’t be like this.”

“What is this, Lily? I know what it is for me, but what is it for you?” Chuck asked as he dipped his head down. Her lips practically begged to be kissed.

But she was suddenly out of his grasp, a few feet from him, her hand her heart, a heightened flush to her cheeks. “This … is something we can never have. Do you understand, Charles?”

Chuck’s jaw tightened. “I don’t do never. I don’t accept never.”

“You’ll have to this one time. It’s for the best. You’ll see. You’ll find someone special soon and … this will fade away,” she said, her chest still heaving, bright spots of color still staining her cheeks. “We need to go now.” She began putting on her gloves, her eyes downcast. “You’re my son, Charles. That’s … that’s got to be enough for both of us.”

With that she was heading to the door. Chuck felt a mixture of frustration and admiration for her. Nothing worth getting was ever easy. But he wasn’t one to back away from a challenge. With that thought he threw on his coat and went after her. Whatever strange things they might discover about his mother were secondary to the thought that Lily would be by his side discovering them right along with him.