It's Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus

It’s Just a Bunch of Hocus Pocus

Flora Winter

I do not own Smallville or the funny movie Hocus Pocus. I’m not really sure how much alike or different it is all going to be. Also, I’m not making any money here either, so don’t get your ugly mammy’s knickers in a wad.

Summary: Thanks to the power of a candle dipped in green kryptonite, three psychotic witches are brought back from the dead on All Hallows Eve. Their goal, live forever! This story will contain lots of boy love, strong language, and violence. If you are not into this sort of thing, Lord Satan will see you through the broad gates, and back onto the straight and narrow path with all the other losers.

Chapter One

Clark Kent just looked at Lex Luthor like the older man had lost his marbles. How could something like that possibly be true? Well, he was an alien from another planet. So, he was willing to hear the guy out.

“It’s true, Clark,” he said, showing him the ancient document. “The old Sanderson home is under my castle.”

“Okay,” Clark said, looking the brittle piece of yellow parchment over with big blue eyes. “What about it?”

“Haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve been saying for the past thirty minutes?” The handsome millionaire asked, rolling his gray eyes, and poking him on the forehead. “The Sanderson brothers were hanged over 300 years ago for practicing witchcraft.”

“Here,” Clark said, pointing down at the floor beneath his feet. “In Smallville?”

Lex nodded his head. “Imagine what neat things we could find under my basement floor.”

Clark made a face. “You’re going to dig under your home?”

Lex grinned and walked over to his desk, picking up an unopened package. He brought it over, handed it to him, and told him to open it.

“What’s in it?” He asked, looking at the address. It was from some haunted auctions in Salem, MA. It was no telling how much money was resting in his hands right now.

“A book,” Lex told him with an even bigger grin. “It is a book which was given to Michael Sanderson by the Lucifer himself.”

“Sure,” Clark said, opening up the package, dropping it with a surprised yelp, causing Lex to jump.

“What is it?” Lex asked, racing forward with concern written on his face and in his voice. “Did you hurt yourself?”

“No,” Clark said, holding his hand like something had just bit him. “The book…it was warm.”

Lex looked down at the fallen book and Clark watched him slowly pick it up. The thing just looked evil and it looked like it was bound in the skin of something that used to be alive. He was sure of it.

“Funny,” Lex chuckled, smiling up at him. “You’re funny, Clark, but Halloween is a weeks away.”

“I’m serious,” Clark pouted something fierce. “It was warm…like skin.”

“That’s because it is skin, Clark,” Lex told him, looking the book over with curious eyes. “This book is bound in human flesh.”

Clark laughed nervously. He was so pulling his leg. “Is that an eye?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Clark,” he chuckled right along with him, fooling with the leather clasp. “If that were a closed eye, it needs some serious Oil of Olay.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t open it,” Clark told him, feeling really uneasy about the whole thing. He didn’t like it.

“Would you like to hear what Michael Sanderson’s last words were before he danced on air?” Lex asked him and his voice was ominously spooky.

He gulped and shook his head. “No, not really, Lex.”

“Fools!” Lex shouted, throwing his arms wide, causing the farmboy to leap back with a startled stumble. “You’re a bunch of sniveling, cowardly fools! My ungodly book speaks to you!”

Clark eyes widened. Lex looked possessed.

“On All Hallows Eve, when the moon is round, a virgin shall summon us from under the ground,” he roared, voice echoing throughout the large room. “We shall be back! And the lives of all the children in Smallville shall be mine!”

He threw his bald head back and howled with wicked laughter. All he needed was some thunder and lightning…perhaps a fog machine, too.

“Um,” Clark said, backing slowly away from him. “I need to go home now. I’m sure the cows need…something.”

Lex rolled his eyes. “Everyone’s a critic.”

“No,” Clark said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That was just scary.”

“Oh, come now, Clark,” he said, looking at him. “Let’s you and me do it. It’ll be our little project.”

“The house is gone, Lex,” he said, nodding his head. He didn’t want to do this. “What makes you think anything survived 300 years?”

Lex grinned with such white teeth, picking up the spellbook. “Well, this is still here.”

Clark groaned, and scuffed his feet. “I don’t want to.”

“Oh, come on,” Lex said, stepping towards him. “Don’t make me beg.”

“No,” Clark said, folding his arms. “I don’t want to.”

Lex pursed his lips. “Are you chicken?”

Clark nodded his head like an enthusiastic puppy. “Yep.” It sounded more like a yip.

“Fine,” Lex said, shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll just do it myself.”

“Huh?” Clark asked. He had won? Wow, that was easy.

“You heard me,” Lex said, walking away from him. “I’ll do it myself.”

“Wait,” Clark said, following him. “What if you get hurt?”

“I don’t know,” he said, keeping his back to him. “I guess I’ll make sure to keep my cell phone on me.”

Clark stopped with a sigh. “Fine.”

“Excellent,” Lex laughed in triumph, spinning around, hugging him. “I’ll get the dynamite.”

“What?” Clark asked, dropping his mouth. “We’re going to blow up your basement?”

Lex nodded. “It’ll be fun, Clark.”

The alien simply gawked at him. Was he out of his mind?

“Just think of all the fun stories you’ll get to tell around your dinner table,” Lex laughed, mimicking him. “Oh, and Dad, Lex threw a stick of dynamite and the explosion knocked us on our asses, sending us falling through the floor into some shaft beneath the castle.”

Clark pouted again. “That’s not funny.”

“And then you can tell him that we’re trying to give him grandchildren out of wedlock,” he snorted and then howled. “Oh, we’re living in sin, Clark!”

Clark tripped over the rug, falling flat on his face. He looked up at the howling lunatic with a frown. That wouldn’t be funny at all.

“Come on, Clark. I’ll race you to the basement,” he said, taking off across the room towards the side door, turning back to him. “And no cheating.”

Clark sighed, getting to his knees. He was happy that Lex knew about his powers, accepted him, and protected him.

“Well?” Lex yelled from the basement. You really have to love super hearing. “I know you can hear me!”

Clark got to his feet, looked at the spooky book, and ran from the room in a blue blur. He didn’t see the emerald green eye open and sparkle with an acidic light.

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

“Come, on Clark,” Lex yawned, stretching like a lazy kitten. “Put your back into it.”

Clark was lifting up a huge boulder that the sword of King Arthur had supposedly been stuck in before it had been pulled out. What was it with Lex and keeping all this old crap?

“Wow,” Lex sighed in wonder, smiling with big eyes. “I love how your muscles look when you do that.”

Clark rolled his eyes and put the big rock down. He rubbed his hands off on his jeans. They were really dirty now. His mom was going to kill him. He ruined so many clothes.

“Now,” Lex said, hopping off the large metal crate he had been lounging on for the past five minutes. “I want you to strip down to your bare skin and lift this huge metal box over your head.”

“What?” Clark asked in shock. “You want me to do what?”

“Please,” Lex purred, cocking his head to the side with a snaky grin. “And I’ll stroke you in that direction. That way you’ll only blast a hole into sheet rock.”

Clark made a face. “I don’t know…”

“Just because you blasted a hole through my bedroom ceiling, sending your seed into orbit,” he said, walking up to put his arms around his neck. “Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy playing with you as long as I do it safely, Clark.”

“That really scared me, Lex,” Clark said, looking away. That little incident had been what let the alien fall out of the spaceship. “What if I had been in your mouth…or…”

“Well,” Lex said, nibbling his left ear. “You’d be fifty million dollars richer.”

“That’s not funny!” He yelled, breaking away from him.

“I know,” Lex said, following after him. “I’m sorry, but red really is your color, Clark.”

Clark just stopped in his tracks and shook his head. He loved Lex. He loved every crazy bone in his body.

“At my funeral you could have said you loved me to death.”

“I wouldn’t have been at your funeral,” Clark said, turning around to look down at the shorter man. “I would have been in Belle Reeve, rocking back and forth in a nice padded cell laced with meteor rock.”

Lex blinked.

“What?” Clark asked, not liking that look in his eye. It always meant he was up to something. This meant he was either going to have to take a bullet or blow something up.

“I just had a crazy idea,” the millionaire said.

“You?” Clark asked in mock shock. “Had a crazy idea?”

“Would you care if we played a game where I was a mad scientist corrupted by my own wicked genius and you were my prized specimen?”

Clark pursed his lips, knowing he was going to regret this somewhere down the road. “I’ll do it just as long as I don’t have to dress up like that silver haired guy with the really long sword in the Kawatche Cave again.”

Lex nodded. “I’m way sexier than that Hojo bitch anyway.”

“Fine,” Clark said. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to use my evil mind and figure out a diabolical way to make you cum like a real boy,” Lex chuckled, patting Clark’s pouting face. “But first, my alien prince from outside space, let us dig for buried goodies from a time long since past.”

Clark groaned, running his hands through his dark locks. “Slave driver…”

Lex snapped his invisible whip. “But of course.”

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think.

Flora.