Wet

Wet

I don’t own Smallville.

Summary: Chloe gets herself cursed and the crazy comes to town. This story will contain male/male action and lots of language (cuz I lurve to use it.)

Chapter One

Chloe put her hands over her petal soft mouth, smothering her man screams, only to remove them, screaming even louder. Her beautiful tits were gone and she had a fucking penis. She backed up against the wall, fighting not to throw everything she could get her hands on at the man in the mirror.

“I have a dick between my legs!” She screamed, looking down at it in horror. “I have a huge fucking dick between my legs!”

She threw her head back, screaming even louder. Oh, this was gross! She felt sick to her stomach.

Thank the laughing gods Lois was not home. She would have a field day with this, after she got done kicking her ass.

She grabbed her hot pink bathrobe, slipped it on, ignoring how tight it felt, and ran out of the bathroom to grab her cell phone. She had to call Clark. He would know what to do.

No! She couldn’t call. Her voice was a man’s now. He would only think it was some psycho or some stupid prank caller.

“Fuck!” She yelled, opening her robe, looking at her manly body, only to cut loose with some more screams.

That’s it! She would send him a text message instead. Yeah, a text was good. He would not hear her voice then.

I need you to come to the Talon now. I look really, really, really, really, really different, okay. So, don’t freak out and fry me with your eyes. Oh, could you bring me a chilidog? I’m really craving one right now. I want the kind you get at Bob’s in Metropolis. It’ll only take an extra eye blink, so, chop, chop.

She sent the message and began to pace. It was un-telling how long it would take him since it was a text. Those damn things were so unreliable. Sometimes they even got lost in transit. She would probably have to send the damn thing ten more times.

“Oh, crap,” she hissed. “Should I have sent the fry me with your eyes thingy?”

Oh, hell! Now she was paranoid. Didn’t the government intercept those things and read them in case the terrorists were trying to send secret messages to each other?

“Calm down, Chloe,” she told herself, talking a deep breath. “Everything is going to be fine.”

Was it really? She had a pecker now. Her body was a man’s. How could anything be fine? Oh, she was pissed.

A sudden knock came at the door, making her jump.

“Chloe?”

It was Clark.

She took another deep breath, went to the door, and opened it up.

“Oh, hi,” he said, looking at her with a confused grin. He looked like he had just gotten up out of bed. He had a different shoe on each foot. “Is Chloe here?”

She realized she was wearing her hot pink bathrobe. He was probably thinking that she was someone she was sleeping with. Oh, she was going to smack him for that. She did not sleep around.

“You forgot the chilidog,” she said in pouting disappointment.

“Huh?” He asked, stepping inside. “Oh, that. Well, it is five-thirty in the morning…”

“Clark,” she said, turning around to look at him as he closed the door behind him. It was time to come out with it or she was going to go crazy. “You’re an alien.”

He blinked and then smiled. “Yes, I am. I blew up my spaceship my sophomore year of high school so I wouldn’t have to phone home, too.”

“I’m Chloe, damn it,” she said, fighting not to hit him with something. “I’ve seen your ice fortress in the Arctic. You held me in your arms, begging your birth father to spare me.”

“Who the hell are you?” He asked, advancing on her like a whirlwind. “What have you done to Chloe? Chloe!”

“I am Chloe!” She snapped. “You big dumb alien!”

“I don’t believe you,” he snarled, looming over her. “You’re a meteor freak who knows how to read minds or something.”

Well, shit. That was possible. Leave it to those ass holes to make Clark suspicious of everything and everyone. No wonder he couldn’t have a normal relationship with anyone. Lana was done with him and Lex didn’t even want to look at him.

“Chloe!” He yelled, looking around with what she assumed was his x-ray vision.

Oh, perfect! Oh, shit! Her bones would be different now that she was a man. This was going to be difficult. If only she had some kind of birthmark or a cavity.

“All right,” she said, rolling her eyes in frustration. “How can I prove it to you?”

Clark looked at her with angry green eyes. Oh, he looked really pissed.

“Wait,” he said, squinting at her. “Roll your eyes again.”

She did so. “Well, tell me.”

“Why did I leave you at the school dance our freshman year?”

“You had to go save Lana from a twister of doom,” she said, knowing she had been stupid for holding it against him. “She was about to get blown to the O.Z.”

“How did you find out about my powers?”

“I saw you catch Alicia’s car like a beach ball,” she told him, remembering how awesome and scary that had been. “I thought my heart was going to fly out of my chest.”

Clark cocked his head to the side. “What’s the name of my home planet?”

She crossed her muscular arms. “Krypton.”

Clark looked really frightened. “What the heck happened to you?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her arms around him, shaking. “I got in the shower and stumbled out with a pecker and no boobs.”

Clark coughed and she let him go, backing up. He looking down below what was appropriate, blushing.

“Don’t you dare!” She snapped, punching him in the chest.

“I wasn’t looking,” he yelped in surprise.

“Uh huh,” she said, feeling pissed again. “I have a dick, Clark!”

He nodded.

“Oh, God!” She roared, running into the bathroom, slamming the door with a bang. “I have underarm hair!”

“All guys do, Chloe,” he said, standing outside the door.

“I’m not a guy!” She yelled. “I’m a beautiful blond woman, Clark!”

He nodded.

She suddenly screamed, actually noticing it now.

“What?” He yelled in concern when he heard something break.

“I have pubic hair!”

Clark fought not to snort. “I do to, Chloe.”

“Well, yeah, Clark,” she yelled, looking for the Nair. “It would take sheers made of kryptonite in order to trim that bush of yours.”

He blushed furiously. His bush was just fine. He kept it neat. He just had to be careful with his heat vision.

“Christ!” She screamed, setting down on the toilet seat. “I even have leg hair!”

Oh, she was in tears.

He put a hand to his mouth. He didn’t want to laugh, but, it was funny. No! This was serious. He couldn’t laugh. He shouldn’t laugh. She would kill him. Oh, you’re a naughty alien, Clark Kent.

“Are you laughing at me?” She asked in outrage.

“No,” he snickered. “Of course I’m not, Chloe.”

“It really is amazing how you were able to keep the wool pulled over my eyes for years, Clark,” she said, getting to her big feet. “And now you can’t do it worth shit.”

“I’m sorry, Chloe,” he said, feeling really bad, and wishing there was something he could do. “You just see right through me.”

“That bitch!” She hissed. “I’ll snap her ostrich neck like a twig.”

“Who?” He asked.

“Kelly!” She yelled. “She did this!”

“How?” He asked, setting down outside the door, realizing he had two different shoes on. Well, wasn’t that embarrassing?

“She’s a witch! That’s what she is!” She snarled. “I’m going to dump a bucket of ice cold…”

She paused mid-sentence.

“Water on her head,” he finished for her. “Chloe?”

She was looking at herself in the mirror. She had been taking a hot shower when this suddenly happened to her.

“Chloe?” He asked again.

“Hush,” she said. “I’m thinking.”

“Well, just don’t cut off like that and leave an alien hanging,” he told her.

She looked at the two knobs on the sink. One was red for hot and the other was blue for cold. It was a crazy idea, but, what he hell?

She looked at the beautiful young man in the mirror, turning on the cold water. She put her hand under the cold stream, feeling her body begin to tingle just like it had before.

“What are you doing in there?” He asked, knocking at the door with his foot. “You’re not doing anything funny are you?”

“Define funny,” she said, suddenly freezing.

“Granted,” Kelly had told her.

Was this what Kelly had done to her? Why had she done this? How was this going to help cause Clark to love her like she loved him? Her eyes suddenly widened in shock.

“I dunno,” he said. “Toggling the new joystick just to see what it feels like?”

“Look,” she said, opening the door, ignoring what he had just said, like she would ever do such a thing. “I’m a girl again.”

He looked at her. “How?”

“Hot and cold,” she smiled, happy as fuck. All the body hair was gone, too. She had her glorious boobies back.

“Ah,” he said, getting to his feet. “Like your personality?”

She slugged him. “How’s the closet space?”

TBC…

Please review and tell me what you think.

Flora.