Baby Come On

Chapter Two: Let Me Go

Cappie awoke to the sound of Rebecca’s voice saying his name over and over again. His groggy phase caused him to grumble.

“Cappie,” Rebecca yelled. “Wake up! It’s almost noon.”

Cappie shot up.

“Noon?” Cappie questioned, “Shit! I have to shower.”

Cappie ran out of the room.

“Um,” Rebecca said. “Okay then.”

Cappie jumped in the shower and turned the hot water on. For only a few minutes he cleaned himself before jumping out to get dressed. Rebecca sat on his bed while he did so.

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” She asked.

“I have lunch plans,” Cappie said. “I would hate to be late.”

“Since when?” Rebecca laughed.

Cappie put his shirt on and kissed Rebecca.

“I’ll call you later?” He said, “When I get done with lunch.”

“Okay,” Rebecca said.

Cappie kissed her again and left the room.

***

Evan put a t-shirt on. A knock came to his door.

“Hey Calvin,” Evan said as Calvin entered the room.

“You wanted to talk?” Calvin asked.

“Yeah,” Evan said. “Take a seat if you’d like. I just have a question.”

“Sure,” Calvin said sitting on Evan’s bed. “What is it?”

“Well you’re gay right?” Evan said.

“Is that really your question?” Calvin laughed.

“No,” Evan said. “Okay so here it goes. There was this one time at camp when I may have done some things with another guy. It was a long time ago.”

“Um, okay,” Calvin said. “How many times did you do these ‘things’ with this other guy.”

“Almost every night,” Evan said. “For like three weeks. But I’ve never done anything since that. I’m not gay right?”

“I can’t tell you if you’re gay or not,” Calvin said. “You could be. Or you could have just been curious. The way to know is if you are attracted to other guys in a sexual way. Or if you’d ever consider doing these ‘things’ with another guy again.”

“That’s just it,” Evan said. “I’m not attracted to other guys and I wouldn’t mess around with other guys. Just the one.”

“So wait,” Calvin said. “You are only attracted to this one guy?”

“I guess,” Evan said. “How do I stop it?”

“You can’t,” Calvin said. “These feelings will never go away. You can deny them as much as you want. But if you do that you risk never being truly happy.”

Evan sighed. “Thanks,” he said. “I have to get going. I have lunch plans.”

“Sure thing,” Calvin said getting up to leave.

“Hey Calvin,” Evan said. “This remains between us.”

Calvin nodded with a smile then left. Evan sighed again.

***

Cappie sat anxiously at the small, round table in the plaza with his hands folded in his lap and his legs bumping up and down.

“Hey Cappie,” Evan said sitting down.

“Hey,” Cappie said.

“So,” Evan said. “Lunch?”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Cappie smirked. “Right?”

“Right,” Evan half smiled. “So how’s Rebecca?”

“She’s good,” Cappie said. “Yeah things with her are going really good. Though I’m not sure how summer is going to play out.”

“Makes sense,” Evan said.

“What about you?” Cappie asked, “You got anyone in your life these days?”

Evan coughed and rubbed his finger across the collar of his shirt.

“No,” he said. “Why do you ask?”

“You asked about my significant other,” Cappie said. “Don’t I get to ask about yours?”

“I guess,” Evan said.

“Evan,” Cappie said. “Are you okay?”

Cappie raised his eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Evan said. “Well no, but it doesn’t matter.”

“Sure,” Cappie said. “Can I ask you something?”

“Why not?” Evan shrugged.

“Why’d you bring up camp yesterday?” Cappie asked, “It’s just so random that you would bring it up.”

“I wanted you to remember the good times with me,” Evan said. “So you’d feel like you could talk to me if you needed to.”

“Do you feel like you can talk to me?” Cappie asked, “Because you can tell me about your problems too. It’s a two-way street here.”

“I don’t think we should really talk about what is bothering me right now,” Evan said.

“Does it have to do with yesterday?” Cappie asked.

Evan sighed and nodded.

“We should talk about it Evan,” Cappie said. “It was a big part of our lives at one point. At least it was a big part of mine.”

“It’s just,” Evan said. “It’s just that it’s different now. Knowing that you think about those nights is bringing back feelings I don’t think I should have anymore.”

“What feelings?” Cappie asked, “Love? Attraction?”

“Cappie,” Evan sighed.

“Evan,” Cappie said. “I’m going to give you this one chance. If you have something you need to say to me then say it.”

Evan remained silence.

“One chance Evan,” Cappie said. “Or you let me go. Forever.”

“Cappie that’s not even fair,” Evan said. “How is this not hard for you? Oh wait, you have Rebecca to go to. I just suddenly realized how in love I was with you and I can’t even have you.”

“You were in love with me?” Cappie said, “Or you are?”

Evan didn’t say anything.

“Well Evan,” Cappie said. “Until you figure it out, you might as well forget about me.”

Cappie got up from the table and walked away. Evan sighed and stared down into his lap for a few minutes.

“Evan?” Casey walked up to him and sat down. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh hi Casey,” Evan said. “Just sitting. Thinking.”

“You okay?” Casey asked.

“Yeah,” Evan said. “I just need to figure some things out.”

“Like what?” Casey asked.

“Listen Casey,” he said. “I know you are just trying to be a good friend, but I can’t really tell you about this. I need to figure it out on my own if that’s okay.”

“Okay,” Casey frowned. “That’s fine. But if you need to talk, I’m here.”

“Thanks,” Evan said. “I’d better get back to Omega Chi. I will see you later.”

“Uh okay,” Casey said.

Evan got up and walked away.

To Be Continued…