Love is Suicide
folder
M through R › The Mighty Boosh
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,307
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
M through R › The Mighty Boosh
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
7
Views:
1,307
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own The Mighty Boosh, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter Two: Old Wounds Heal Never
A/N: here's another chapter! i haven't actually got any feedback yet, i hate to sound like i'm begging, but... PLEASE review! *cries* enjoy, anyway...
Howard steps up to the door and gives three knocks, then steps back and gives a reassuring smile to me. I’m anxious about today. Telling Naboo and Bollo is the most nerve-racking part of this. Howard takes my hand and gives it a squeeze, then drops it when the door opens, and Naboo stands in the doorway.
“Hi guys,” he says. “I thought you weren’t coming round for a while… band stuff and all that?”
I shoot Howard a look, meaning I want him to do the talking, and he steps forward again.
“Well, see, the thing is, we had to come over today cos there’s something we have to tell you.” When this is rewarded silence from Naboo, Howard clears his throat nervously and carries on. “Well, what it is, erm, me and Vince, we’re together. As a couple.”
Naboo rolls his eyes and says “you big gay morons, I knew before either of you did – if one of you wasn’t staring at the other, it’s the other way round!” Almost as an afterthought, he adds “congratulations, though”. Bollo, in his typical fashion, adds nothing but “I got a bad feelin’ about dis”, which Howard and I ignore. I feel a wave of relief sweep over me. They don’t hate me, I think, they’ve accepted the fact I’m with Howard and didn’t hate me for it.
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Months pass and both of us are as happy as the crack fox who’s just uncovered a stash of pick ‘n’ mix drugs. Or so Howard thinks. I’m happy on the outside, never letting the façade drop, but inside I become increasingly insecure about myself. Why is he still with me? I think every day. I’m so awful, I’m a complete attention seeker and my million and three imperfections are getting worse...
Suddenly I become angry after having these thoughts for the third time today. I go to the bathroom and find a razorblade. Slicing a thin line up my upper arm so no one will see it, I watch, fascinated as blood, deep red blood, begins to drip slowly from the cut. I begin to relax and feel an odd sense of release.
As time goes by, I become dependant on my source of release, and self harm obsessively every day. I know self harming is wrong, which makes me feel worse, which just makes me cut again. The one thing I am thankful for is that Howard never realises what I am doing.
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Howard stirs slightly in his sleep. I stop dead, holding my breath, waiting for Howard to wake up. Nothing happens so I tiptoe out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.
Picking up my blade, I place it on my arm and sweep it across, always shocked at how little resistance I meet. I sigh, staring at my arm, and sat down on the toilet seat, lost in thought until:-
“VINCE!” Howard is standing there, eyes ever so slightly bigger with shock. If the situation wasn’t so bad, I might have found it funny. “Vince, what the hell are you doing? You woke me up and I followed you in here and you’re – you’re cutting yourself! Why, Vince? I thought we were happy, you were happy! Does how I feel for you mean that much, that you don’t confide in me, just your razorblade?”
I look at Howard, and look past him into the mirror. My face is white, with wide blue eyes standing out in it. My cut arm shakes slightly. “I… I… couldn’t… I wanted you to think I was happy… I’m sorry…” But Howard had already gone to collect his thoughts.
I burst into tears, still holding the blade in my right hand. Sobbing, I move to the floor and lie there, crying and crying, unable to move.
What could be hours later, I hear Howard come back in and say something which didn’t register in my mind. Then I felt strong arms helping me upright, guiding me to the bedroom, sitting me down on the bed. Howard works in silence to clean up my arm, as I look down on him and take in the sight of the man I love.
When he is finished, he takes me into his arms and kisses me softly, then speaks. It sounds like he has been crying, and I instantly feel guilty for hurting him like this.
“I love you so much, surely you know that?” when I nod mutely, he holds me close. “I don’t know what I would do if you left me, it hurts me seeing you hurt like this”.
We sit close for a time, each of us basking in the love and warmth of the other. Then I find words to speak with.” Howard, I love you too. I couldn’t find words to describe how much... if anything ever happened to force us apart… I couldn’t imagine. But all this, it isn’t you causing it, it’s me. I’m so afraid, I think I’m going mad…” I whisper as tears come to my eyes again.
Howard puts a hand up to my face and wipes my tears away, and then he pulls me close again. “Shh… it’ll all be ok now you’ve told me. Please, if you feel like this again, just talk to me.” I smile a broken smile and he smiles back. “Now, shall we go to bed?” he finishes with a cheeky grin. I suddenly feel better than I have done in weeks.
A/N: didst thou enjoy that? if yes, please tell me so i know if i'm good or not!
Howard steps up to the door and gives three knocks, then steps back and gives a reassuring smile to me. I’m anxious about today. Telling Naboo and Bollo is the most nerve-racking part of this. Howard takes my hand and gives it a squeeze, then drops it when the door opens, and Naboo stands in the doorway.
“Hi guys,” he says. “I thought you weren’t coming round for a while… band stuff and all that?”
I shoot Howard a look, meaning I want him to do the talking, and he steps forward again.
“Well, see, the thing is, we had to come over today cos there’s something we have to tell you.” When this is rewarded silence from Naboo, Howard clears his throat nervously and carries on. “Well, what it is, erm, me and Vince, we’re together. As a couple.”
Naboo rolls his eyes and says “you big gay morons, I knew before either of you did – if one of you wasn’t staring at the other, it’s the other way round!” Almost as an afterthought, he adds “congratulations, though”. Bollo, in his typical fashion, adds nothing but “I got a bad feelin’ about dis”, which Howard and I ignore. I feel a wave of relief sweep over me. They don’t hate me, I think, they’ve accepted the fact I’m with Howard and didn’t hate me for it.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Months pass and both of us are as happy as the crack fox who’s just uncovered a stash of pick ‘n’ mix drugs. Or so Howard thinks. I’m happy on the outside, never letting the façade drop, but inside I become increasingly insecure about myself. Why is he still with me? I think every day. I’m so awful, I’m a complete attention seeker and my million and three imperfections are getting worse...
Suddenly I become angry after having these thoughts for the third time today. I go to the bathroom and find a razorblade. Slicing a thin line up my upper arm so no one will see it, I watch, fascinated as blood, deep red blood, begins to drip slowly from the cut. I begin to relax and feel an odd sense of release.
As time goes by, I become dependant on my source of release, and self harm obsessively every day. I know self harming is wrong, which makes me feel worse, which just makes me cut again. The one thing I am thankful for is that Howard never realises what I am doing.
¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬¬
Howard stirs slightly in his sleep. I stop dead, holding my breath, waiting for Howard to wake up. Nothing happens so I tiptoe out of the bedroom and into the bathroom.
Picking up my blade, I place it on my arm and sweep it across, always shocked at how little resistance I meet. I sigh, staring at my arm, and sat down on the toilet seat, lost in thought until:-
“VINCE!” Howard is standing there, eyes ever so slightly bigger with shock. If the situation wasn’t so bad, I might have found it funny. “Vince, what the hell are you doing? You woke me up and I followed you in here and you’re – you’re cutting yourself! Why, Vince? I thought we were happy, you were happy! Does how I feel for you mean that much, that you don’t confide in me, just your razorblade?”
I look at Howard, and look past him into the mirror. My face is white, with wide blue eyes standing out in it. My cut arm shakes slightly. “I… I… couldn’t… I wanted you to think I was happy… I’m sorry…” But Howard had already gone to collect his thoughts.
I burst into tears, still holding the blade in my right hand. Sobbing, I move to the floor and lie there, crying and crying, unable to move.
What could be hours later, I hear Howard come back in and say something which didn’t register in my mind. Then I felt strong arms helping me upright, guiding me to the bedroom, sitting me down on the bed. Howard works in silence to clean up my arm, as I look down on him and take in the sight of the man I love.
When he is finished, he takes me into his arms and kisses me softly, then speaks. It sounds like he has been crying, and I instantly feel guilty for hurting him like this.
“I love you so much, surely you know that?” when I nod mutely, he holds me close. “I don’t know what I would do if you left me, it hurts me seeing you hurt like this”.
We sit close for a time, each of us basking in the love and warmth of the other. Then I find words to speak with.” Howard, I love you too. I couldn’t find words to describe how much... if anything ever happened to force us apart… I couldn’t imagine. But all this, it isn’t you causing it, it’s me. I’m so afraid, I think I’m going mad…” I whisper as tears come to my eyes again.
Howard puts a hand up to my face and wipes my tears away, and then he pulls me close again. “Shh… it’ll all be ok now you’ve told me. Please, if you feel like this again, just talk to me.” I smile a broken smile and he smiles back. “Now, shall we go to bed?” he finishes with a cheeky grin. I suddenly feel better than I have done in weeks.
A/N: didst thou enjoy that? if yes, please tell me so i know if i'm good or not!