Dreams and Realities

Rose woke up in the morning, still clutching the pillow. The sun was creeping through the window shade. Rose got up to close the shade tightly, pillow in hand when she realized that her pajamas were on the floor, and she was naked. Rose decided to make her way to the bathroom instead. When she got there she looked into the mirror and clear as day on her right shoulder was a bite mark. She stood there for a moment and let her mind think this through. She had clothing on when she went to bed…then she had the dream…the Doctor…the two of them making love…clutching the pillow she collapsed on floor, shaking and crying. She was suppose to start a job at Torchwood today, but they had given her all the time she needed, they gave her a lap top to were she could work from home. She got up, knees shaking and made her way back to bed. She stayed there most of the day, going through bouts of sobbing, to sleeping, to even lashing out at people who talked to her or looked at her funny. That night when she went to bed she hoped he would come. He didn’t…he didn’t come for over a month. Rose sunk deeper and deeper into a depression, to the point her mother was really getting worried about her, not letting her be alone at the house. One day Mickey was watching her type away at the laptop, when he decided to go get something to eat.
“Oi, Rose, do you want some chips?” He asked.
“No, no thank you Mickey…you go on…I’ll be fine…I promise I’ll be fine…”
“I think you should come with me…all things considering…you know…”
“No, I am really swamped…I took so long off, I really need to catch up…”
“Alright well…don’t let your mother find out that I left you alone…”
“I won’t tell a soul…actually will you get me some Chinese while you are out?”
“Sure Rose…usual I presume?”
“Yeah that’s fine…do I need to give you some money?”
“No, don’t worry about it…let me treat you to lunch.”
“Ok.” She replied, “I am going to take a shower…” She stood up as the printer began to print. She pulled out some envelopes as Mickey left, wrote names on them and placed the printed paper in them. She locked her bedroom door with a chair. She then walked into the bathroom, started a warm shower, and pulled out a long blade, one that the Doctor had given her on their travels as a gift…he said it was a letter opener, for particularly hard to open letters. She ran her thumb along the blade as it cut her skin again, as it had done before when she got it. Stepping into the shower, blade in hand, she sat down and let the water run over her. She let the tears fall freely now as she eyed the blade. The blade cut quickly and cleanly down the length of her forearm. The dark red blood instantly poured out of the wound. She did the same thing to the other arm and laid there, the water running over her. The pain felt good, comforting and slightly nice. She didn’t know how long she had actually been in there because she had blacked out. She could kind of hear screaming but she thought she heard the Doctor, calling out to her, telling her to let go of everything and come towards his voice. When she woke up, she was in a hospital bed, her father was arguing with the doctor about not putting her in treatment. Her father finally won, she believed that money had exchanged hands and he walked back over to her.
“Rose, we are taking you back home now…” She nodded absently and fell back asleep. When she got home, she laid in bed, and cried, wanting him so badly. All the envelopes were gone, save one…the Doctors which she hid under the pillows. That night she fell into a dreamless sleep, he still had not come back to her and she wondered if he ever would now that there was some one watching her inside the bed room.