Lost

Disclaimer: I don't own the Magnificent Seven, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Slash, Violence, Sexual Assault

Rating: FRT

Lost
By: Vinsmouse
Chapter 2


Vin sat on a mountain ledge, staring blindly at the majestic scenery laid out before him. Closing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind, only to be confronted with nightmare images. He didn't understand. Why had Buck done this to him? He thought he could trust him, all of them, now he wondered if he'd ever known any of his friends. How could he have been so wrong about Buck? What did it mean for his other friendships?

The evening had been going fine, they'd been watching a movie, some old western, when the phone rang. He didn't eavesdrop on Buck's conversation, but he'd been unable to avoid hearing the anxiety and stress in his friend's voice. He'd shot a worried glance towards the older man, catching his eye and receiving a reassuring nod to his unasked question. Returning his attention to the movie, he purposely tuned out Buck's phone call, giving him some semblance of privacy. Then the call had ended and within minutes his world had been turned upside down.

"You okay?" Vin asked Buck when he rejoined him on the couch.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Buck snapped.

Vin gave his friend a measured look. If he hadn't known before, he certainly knew now that something was indeed wrong. "I'm here if ya want to talk," he quietly offered. He was careful not to push Buck, while at the same time letting him hear the concern in his voice. For several minutes neither man spoke, both lost in his own thoughts. Vin nearly jumped out of his skin when Buck's hand landed on his thigh, slowly moving upward.

"Maybe talking ain't what I want," Buck whispered, leaning in closer to Vin, crowding him against the end of the couch

"What are ya doing Buck?" Vin squeaked.

"Come on Vin, ya ain't that innocent," Buck scoffed, pressing against him.

He had fought back, but he couldn't get the leverage he needed. The entire attack had been surreal. As Buck worked to rid them both of their clothes, he had kissed and nuzzled Vin's neck gently, almost reverently. None of it made sense, how could he rape him while treating him with love and tenderness. Shaking his head, Vin reminded himself again that it was rape, he hadn't wanted what Buck had forced on him. The fact that he had been gentle, had tried not to hurt him, didn't change anything. Shuddering, Vin wished he could block out the next images that came into his mind. As though he had been standing outside himself, he saw his body lying on the couch, Buck pinning him to the surface. A sudden jolt of pain as fire raced through his backside, slammed him back into his body with sudden force. That was the last thing Vin remembered of the attack.

His next memory had been waking up in the bed of the guest room early the next morning, Buck seated in a nearby chair, thankfully sleeping. Carefully he had climbed from the bed, surprised to see that he was once again fully clothed, quietly he left the room. Once in the next room, he slipped on his shoes, making his escape. He knew he should go to the hospital, but he didn't want anybody to touch him. Vin knew he should report the attack, he didn't though, his years of living on the streets having taught him that the police wouldn't care. He didn't notice the irony of that thinking, at the moment he was operating on instinct alone. Instinct that was telling him to head for the high country, go somewhere to lick his wounds and consider his next move.

"Buck? Tell me you didn't...." JD plead with the man he considered an older brother.

"I wish I could JD," Buck sighed. "I tried to make it as easy on him as I could, but I had to do what Spencer said or watch Vin die."

"How long?" Josiah boomed.

"About six months now," Buck replied.

JD looked between them, he wondered if he was the only one missing something here, "What are you two talking about?"

"That's a good question JD," Chris glared at his oldest friend.

"I believe Mr. Dunne, that Mr. Sanchez is asking Mr. Wilmington how long he's been attracted to Mr. Tanner," Ezra offered.

"That's crazy Ezra," JD immediately protested. "Buck's a ladies man, everybody knows that."

"It ain't crazy JD," Buck interrupted. "I ain't strictly a ladies man and I've been attracted to Vin from the moment I met him, I've been in love with him for six months," he clarified.

"We will find him brother," Josiah assured him, understanding now just how hard this was for Buck. "You will have the chance to explain."

"One has to ask, why didn't you explain last night. I assume that Mr. Spencer would have left after the deed was done."

"I was going to Ezra, I didn't get the chance," Buck miserably explained.

"Goddamn it Buck!" Chris exploded. "Are you telling us Vin's been missing since last night and you waited until eleven o'clock this morning to call us?" Chris stood toe to toe with Buck, glaring at him, his eyes as cold as ice. There had only been one other time in his life that he had felt this kind of rage, and Buck had been a part of that too.

"No, god Chris, do ya really think I'd let that boy wander around, hurt and confused for that long?" Though he understood his friend's anger, Buck couldn't help being hurt by the doubt and accusation in Chris' voice. "After...Vin was out of it, shock I guess. I didn't know what to do, I tried to bring him out of it, but well I guess I wasn't the best person for that job. I checked him out, made sure I hadn't done any serious damage. Don't worry Nathan, there was a little bit of tearing, but nothing bad. I decided that after what I'd done I couldn't just take him to a hospital, not when he couldn't say yes or no. It felt like it would be another violation, so I got him dressed and I put him to bed in the spare room. I sat down in the chair we keep in there, figured I could talk to him when he came out of the state he was in. I must've fallen asleep at some point, next thing I knew it was eight in the morning and Vin was gone. I started looking right away, but well like I told ya I ain't had no luck." Buck looked around the room at the five men, men that until today he'd called friends, brothers, and he knew that his time with them was at an end. As for Vin, the most he could hope for was to be given the chance to explain, forgiveness wasn't even in the cards. "Can we please start looking for him now?"

"You think we're gonna let you near him?"

Buck's head snapped around. He had expected that from Chris, maybe Nathan, but not JD. "I ain't asking ya to leave me alone with him JD. I'm sure he wouldn't want that anyway, I'm just asking for the chance to help find him. Give me the chance to explain things to him," he all but begged them.

“He deserves the chance to explain JD, and Vin deserves to hear it from Buck, not us,” Josiah quietly pointed out.

“Fine,” JD snapped. “How are we gonna do this?” he asked, refusing to look at Buck. On some level he knew he was being unfair, but he couldn't seem to help himself. As he turned his back on his big brother, JD fleetingly wondered if he was angry because of what Buck did or what he felt for Vin. Pushing that thought aside, he reminded himself that Buck had betrayed Vin in the worst way possible.

“Tell us every place you checked Buck,” Chris ordered. He was angry too, but unlike JD he was able to understand the horrible position Buck had found himself in. Though there was some anger towards his friend for not finding a way to avoid it, most of his anger was aimed at David Spencer's brother.

Buck quickly told them where he'd already been and what he'd found in each place. Though he hadn't found Vin, he hoped that maybe one of the other's would pick up on some clue he'd missed. Something that would point them in the direction Vin had gone. He had to find him, to explain why he'd been hurt by a man he'd trusted.

“Alright, here's what we're gonna do then. JD, you and Nathan are going to search these places,” Chris ordered, writing down a list of places for them to check. Dividing up the rest of the places he thought Vin was likely to go, he gave one list to Josiah, ordering Buck to go with him. The remainder he and Ezra would search. “Check in every hour, unless you find him or something to tell us where he is.” A chorus of yes sir's rang out as the men grabbed coats and car keys, heading out to find their missing friend.


“Nathan, do you think Vin's gonna be okay?” JD asked an hour into their search.

Nathan sighed, they'd just found out that none of the others had found Vin yet either and he didn't know how to answer the question. “I don't know JD,” he finally admitted. “You heard what Buck said, if he's right then physically he'll probably be alright. I'm more concerned with what this is doing to him emotionally.”

“Do ya think Buck is telling the truth?”

Nathan looked at JD, startled by the question. “Don't you?”

“I don't know,” JD sighed. Turning his head, he stared out the window at the passing scenery. “Maybe if Buck wasn't attracted to Vin I wouldn't wonder about it.”

“I don't pretend to understand it JD, but Buck didn't say he was just attracted, he said he was in love with him,” Nathan reminded him. “Do you really think he'd willingly hurt anybody, especially somebody he loves?”

“I didn't used to think so, but I never thought he'd be in love with a man either. I just can't help wondering if maybe he made this Spencer guy up so he could do what he wanted to and...”

“And what JD?” Nathan snapped. “I can't believe you're even thinking something like that. You know Buck better than anybody how can...”

“I thought I did, now I'm not so sure.”

Nathan's hand slammed down against the steering wheel. “Thought you were Buck's best friend JD, his little brother?”

“I...”

“I don't want to hear it JD,” Nathan interrupted him. “I don't know if Vin will ever forgive Buck for what he did, but it wouldn't surprise me if he does. That boy is the most forgiving man I ever met and once he knows the whole story I think he'll try to get past it. Now are you gonna be a smaller man than the one man who has the right to never forgive?” Turning up the radio, Nathan cut off any possibility of further discussion, leaving JD alone with his thoughts.


Josiah watched Buck, his blue eyes filled with worry and fear for both of his friends. He'd seen the frantic way Wilmington had searched for Vin. Each failure seeming to take a little more out of him, his shoulders slumping lower as their sharpshooter continued to remain hidden. They hadn't spoken more than half a dozen words between them while they searched. He'd tried, but their resident lothario didn't have any interest in hearing any words of comfort or absolution. Like Nathan, he knew that Vin was a very forgiving soul, thank God for that. With the life he'd lived, the things he'd suffered as a child, Josiah knew Vin would've been a much different type of man if he wasn't able to forgive. He prayed silently that his young friend's gift wouldn't desert him now when he needed it most and that Buck would be able to accept it when Vin offered the forgiveness he needed.

“I must confess Mr. Larabee I am at a loss as to where to search next.” Ezra knew that Chris didn't really need him to confirm they were at a dead end, but the continued silence was unnerving him. Three hours into the search and nobody had found any sign of Vin, not even a hint of a clue to point them in the right direction. He and Chris had arrived at this high mountain outcropping, overlooking a pristine lake, half an hour ago. It had only taken minutes to determine that Vin wasn't here, hadn't been here for a while, since then Chris had been staring at the water.

“There's got to be somewhere, something we've forgotten about,” unsaid were the words, I've forgotten. Nobody could wear guilt like Chris Larabee, with each failure his guilt had grown. Guilt that he hadn't seen how Buck felt for Vin, something he could've talked to the sharpshooter about. He alone of the team knew that Tanner was bi-sexual, who knew what would've happened if he'd known how Buck felt. “I should've seen it,” he mumbled.

“Seen what? Are you prescient now Mr. Larabee?”

“No of course not...”

“Then how could you have possibly known this would happen?”

“I should've seen that Buck was attracted to Vin, is in love with him.”

“What difference would it have made if you had known?”

“I could've told Vin about it, maybe if he'd known him and Buck would've even gotten together.”

“Do you have reason to believe Mr. Tanner would have been amenable to receiving Mr. Wilmington's attentions?”

Chris threw a startled glance Ezra's way, looking suspiciously like a deer caught in the headlights. “This don't go any further Ezra!”

“Oh of course not,” Ezra promised, miming turning a key in a lock as he pressed his lips together, tossing the key aside.

“Yeah I got reason to think Vin might've gone for it. Can't be sure, but who knows.”

“You're thinking is that if he had known, perhaps the two of them would have been a couple, in which case Spencer's plan wouldn't have work as well?”

“Something like that. Hell I don't know,” Chris cursed, running his fingers through his hair. “Guess it don't matter now, they weren't together and now Vin is out there somewhere,” he waved his hand in an encompassing manner. “He's hurting Ezra, feeling lost and alone, betrayed. How the hell are we going to fix this?”

“I don't know, but we will find a way. I would suggest that you remember one very important word in your question.”

“What's that?”

“We,” Ezra answered simply, for once not expounding upon his statement.

Chris nodded, “Thanks Ez,” he smiled, clapping the smaller man on the shoulder. “Hey Ezra, what would you say Vin is like right now?” he suddenly asked, his eyes focused on something behind Ezra.

“What?” taken by surprise, he didn't know how to answer the question. Turning his head, he smiled as he saw a small red fox watching them warily from the safety of the trees. “A wild animal,” he answered, understanding now.

“A wounded, wild animal and where does our resident falcon prefer to be?”

“Up high...” a look of comprehension passed over Ezra's face as he snapped his fingers. “He'd head for the highest spot he could find.”

“Yep, and I think I know where that would be, come on.”

Quickly they made their way back to the truck. Chris barely gave the engine the chance to engage before throwing the large vehicle into gear and taking off for the spot he hoped to find Vin. They didn't talk on the way, both of them focusing on finding Vin and somehow fixing the small family they'd built with team seven.

Chris grinned when he pulled up to the end of the road, there was Vin's jeep parked to the side. Parking behind him, Chris climbed from the truck and led the way up the path, following the tracks Vin had left on the trail. Now that he was close to finding Vin, he hoped he could find a way, that they could find a way to help him.


TBC

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