torture and release

OKAY! hope this makes sense...excuse the typing i am faliing asleep as i do this! Thanks to my sole reviewer...heres the chapter...hope it lives up to your expectations....

it had been three days.

john winchester had left his sons to fight alone once more. He had noticed the sadness and tension between them and it made him sad. He hoped they weren't at each other's throats like old times. Knowing Dean he'd probably made a move on one of Sam's love interests and caused them to fall out. He never understood how two men that were so alike and raised the same way, could be entirely different. At least they knew he was alive and well and he was grateful to finally lift that burden from them.

sam sat on his bed staring at his hands in the empty and silent room.

Three days.

They still hadn't talked about that night. Sam had tried of course but everytime dean found an excuse to leave. They were out of food, out of gas, the weapons needed cleaning... It was strange but sam felt dean had been worse affected than him that day. Dad had moved on and they were still in the same hotel room checking for clues about the big evil brewing that had their father so concerned.

Dean burst into the room interrupting sam's reverie. He was carrying three paper bags and threw one at sam, one on his own bed and the other in his travel bag, kicking it under is bed. sam wondered what it was but didn't want to break the silence. He opened his bag to find chinese food...a little less greasy than the burgers they usually lived on at least. A few hours passed in uneasy silence for the most part. dean scanned a newspaper to look for clues for a hunt, sam checked the net for anything unusual.

"Dean...." started sam once more

At the tone of his brother's voice Dean knew the topic of conversation about to be raised and headed for the bathroom ignoring his sam's protest. He reappeared in fresh clothes and aftershave and headed out the door mumbling something about blowing off some steam and grabbing a drink.

When he was sure dean was gone sam pulled his brother's bag from under the bed and rummaged through to find the paper bag stashed there earlier. HE glanced inside at the contents and shook his head with a smile. Handcuffs and lube, Obviously dean planned to get a little action in this town or the next then. He replaced the bag and returned everything to it's original positon.

It was 1am when dean came crashing through the motel room door. Sam stirred and turned on the bedside lamp squinting in the brightness

"dean...? god I'm trying to get some sleep...."

Dean stumbled over to sit beside his brotheron the bed

"bullshit sammy....you haven't slept in days and neither have i...you should follow my lead...go get drunk....might help you....sleep, forget...whatever...i don't know...i'm sorrygd sammy i'm sorry...." dean slurred and babbled apologies tears falling down his cheeks. The alcohol obviously not having the effect dean desired. Sam pat his brother's shoulder supportively realizing this was the way dean dealt with most of his problems.

Dean suddenly looked up at him seriously through his red teary eyes, then went over to his side of the room. He retrieved the bag sam had found earlier. sam looked at him in confusion when he emptied the contents onto the bed next to him.

"you're right sammy....we need to get over this...this is what we should do..."

"uh...what exactly re-enact the the worst day of our lives" sam spat out angrily

"NO!! SHIT no sam god! we have to level this....tit for tat. That bitch made me hurt you ....violate you...and i couldn't do jack about it. But it was me that did it wasn't it? i mean how could i even be physically able to participate? god i even fucking came! I mean i'm into girls and there i was fucking a man...god...my own BROTHER and what's more i got off..."

"dean,it's not like you had a choice would you rather be dead?" sam shouted

"maybe" said dean quietly "i'd rather that than know i hurt you"

Sam sat down again and drew his brother into a hug. For once dean didn't push him away or make jokes he just sobbed into his shoulder pulling at the back of Sam's tshirt, clenching it in his fists.

"tell me how to help you dean, you won't talk to me and you keep blaming yourself"

Dean sat up straight and looked once more at sam. He headed for the bathroom and came out with his face washed, a little more sober and a determined look on his face. He sat down and placed the handcuffs in his lap, snapping them around his wrists and giving sam the key. sam furrowed his brow not quite understanding what dean was thinking.

"do it sam. Everything she had you me do to you and i will do everything she made you do to me"

sam shook his head defiantly

"dean..that's not what you need. You feel guilty so you want me to 'exact my revenge'?" sam was angry again

"well..".said dean sullenly "it's not exactly revenge is it...at least you have my permission. "i love you sammy. I want us to put this behind us and be brothers again. I don't want you to ever fell inferior or scared of me letting you down again"

Dean placed his cuffed hands on sam's crotch palming his brother's cock through his boxers. The act felt theraputic to him, taking away the torture and disgust of their last sexual experience.

Sam didn't understand dean. He was alwas more action and less talk than sam but he thought what he was proposing was wrong. He wanted to shout at him to stop but part of him knew this was dean's way of relieving his guilt and personal demons and he didn't want to deny him that. Dean's hands stroking him stirred his cock to arousal despite his reservations.

"please sammy...let me do this...for both of us..." with that dean slid down on his knees and pulled his brother's boxers down his legs. He looked up to see sam staring straight at the wall, tears falling down his face and refusing to acknowledge what was happening. Then sam stood making a decision.

"fine dean, you want me to do this,wer'e doing it my way" sam grabbed his brother's wrists and unlocked the cuffs throwing them across the room. Then grabbed his brother's face with both hands and kissed his full soft lips, his tongue exploring dean's mouth.

Dean pulled back gasping and looking at sam in surprise

Sam looked straight into his eyes "you want me to get over this? remind me sex isn't just about dominance and pain" With that he kissed dean again, surprised and how soft and delicate his responsive kissing was. no wonder all the girls loved him...

He slid dean's shirt off and pulled his own over his head then ran his hands down his brother's torso

Dean's eyes darted everywhere, not sure how he felt about this curveball. He felt as if sam was drinking him in, making love to him and it confused him further. He'd never felt turned on by a man before and hell..hi own brother? sam's large hands grazed over his nipples and slid over his stomach feeling the muscles there. He looked serious as though he was studying dean, learnng every inch of his body and committing it to memory. He was trying to see what it was about dean that made him want this from him, it was a new sensation meg seemed to have stirred in within him and it scared him almost as much as the memory of that day.

Sam leaned in and kissed dean once again, more forceully this time and massaged his hands down his brother's toned back leaving fingermarks in his flesh as he moved his hands down tocup his ass and bring his hips up to his.

Dean was aroused at this point and began exploring sam with his own hands, pushing aside his own reservations and ignoring the warring voices in his head. Instead he focused on the fact that sam had asked for this. He wanted this in order to heal and have faith in him again and that was good enough reason for dean. He kissed his way down his neck and chest before gently kneeling at his brother's feet, lloking up and questioning an dlonging both at once.

Dean took sam into his mouth. It was important to himto make sam feel good. He didn't want him to associate sex only with that day and their only encouter with pain and humiliation. He wanted to show sam physically how much he loved him. He sucked length into his mouth as far as he could and then tried to imitate what he himself enjoyed, swirling his tongue around the shaft and flicking the sensitive head with each sweep.

Sam moaned as dean went down on him. feeling much better now he knew this was on his terms and they were both needing this. The sight of dean pleasuring him was so erotic. His brother's hands roamed over his thighs and then cupped his balls, rolling them gently in his palm and making htem tighten further.

"oh god...dean" sam threw his head back giving in fully to the sheer physicality of hte feeling and letting go of any angst he ws feeling. dean's teeth lightly scraped the underside of his cock and he hissed as his orgasm drew closer. Dean quickened the pace, sam's cock hitting the back of his throat and sam came with a desperate yell of release. dean swaalowwed and licked his brother's thighs whilst sam struggled to remain upright. Dean rose to his feet un doing his pants and discarding them then roaming his hand over sam again, he rolled them gently onto the bed.

Dean licked sam's lips gebtly prodding and seeking entrance to his mouthwhich sam granted, and twisting his brother's long hair in his hands to deepen their kiss. Sam tasted himself on his brother's tongue and the thought of what ws occuring caused his cock to stir slightly again. dean felt it and ghostd his fingers along sam's groin bringing a groan from his lips.

He kissed sam's mouth deeply surprised at the longing that had awkened within himself. Their skin against each others, their groins seeking friction and rubbing between them. They pulled back gasping, sam finally nodded. DEan moved over and lay on his stomach anticipating what was to come. Their had been the odd encounters when a girl had shocked him and fingered him as she sucked his cock but he knew this would be different, truth be told he was nervous.

Sam coated two fingers liberaly with the lube and exposed his brother's entrance to his own eyes. He swallowed nervously. He was confused as well. The sight aroused him and the anticipation of being insid edean was building in the pit of his stomach making it hard to breath. He slipped the fingers gently into dean's ass and bit his lower lip feeling how tight he was and shivered. After a few strokes sam was hitting dean's prostate and dean felt his cock swell further. Sam then withdrew his fingers and dean moaned at the loss, he pushed back to feel his brother's cock pushing at his ass. sam slid into him as gently as he could. Then came the pain dean was expecting. He breathed through it and noded for sam to continue. Sam slid in further and slowly bean to fuck his brother. THe feeling of dean's tightness and heat surrounding him made sam's eye roll back in his head and he felt his orgasm rapidly approaching. He moved one hand from dean's hip around to stroke his cock. Dean moaned sending sam over the edge.

Sam withdrew from dean carefully and turned him around kissing him all over. he looked down to his brother's red swollen cock and kissed his way down to take it in his mouth. DEan bucked violently, his need so intense. Sam sucked at him enthusiastically and drew dean's orgasm easily as his brother exploded in his mouth.


"that wasn't part of the plan" dean said quietly as they lay recovering.

"screw the plan dean. this wasn't just about you releiving your guilt you know...I reacted too last time, you think i wasn't confused? besides feeling good about sex again...i wanted us to trust each other again ...you know..."

"yeah...i know"


fin