Another Chance

Things return to normal far too easily. Lucas and Nathan are a team again on court. They’re friends in the school corridors, laughing and joking and finding excuses to touch each other without raising suspicion. To everyone else in the school, it’s as if they’ve made up. Gotten over whatever argument they’d had and become friends again. Perhaps even to Nathan it’s that simple. To Lucas, it’s not. But it’s getting there.

And yet, there’s someone else who sees through the thin veil of friendship and brotherhood…the mask they wear at school and hope that no one can see both the good and the bad behind it. Easier that way. Safer. But someone isn’t so easily fooled.

“Something’s going on with you and Nathan,” Jake blurts out before practice, one day, leaning against the wall as Lucas changes next to him.

Alarmed, Lucas forces himself to remain calm. “What?”

“I’ve known about it for a while. Didn’t want to say anything because I figured you didn’t want anyone to know,” Jake admits, smiling sympathetically at the other boy.

Taking a second to get his head round this, Lucas eventually looks around to check if they can be heard by anyone else. “Look, whatever you think is going on…”

“It’s okay, I’m not gonna judge. I mean, yeah, it’s…different, but,” Jake shrugs, “I’m a teenage dad. Hardly a moral high ground.”

Lucas hardly thinks that compares, but he can see the sincerity on Jake’s face. “So, why tell me now?”

Jake looks sheepishly at him. “I overheard Tim bragging about something…and he mentioned that you walked in on them.”

Lucas sinks down to the bench, hating to be reminded. “Yeah.”

“Don’t worry, he didn’t put two and two together. It is Tim after all,” Jake jokes. “So then you and Nathan avoided each other for a few weeks and I thought maybe you’d ended it.”

Lucas nods, eye cast down.

Jake sits next to him, fighting the urge to get closer. “Now it’s like you’re back together or something.”

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” Lucas asks, softly, relieved beyond comprehension to have someone he trusts to talk to about this. It’s not like he could just blurt this kind of thing out to Haley or Keith, his usual confidantes.

“I just think you should be careful,” Jake warns him, seriously.

Lucas looks up at him, confused, his own doubts easily resurfacing.

“It’s none of my business, I know, but…I don’t want to see you get hurt,” he explains. “I really care about you.”

Lucas knows what Jake is telling him. Before getting back with Nathan, they’d been flirting on and off for days. Lucas is ashamed to admit that came primarily from his desire to prove to Nathan that it was over and he could move on. Now Lucas has to wonder if maybe he’d made a huge mistake in leading Jake on like that. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression…” He stops, unsure how can he possibly put this into words without sounding like a complete asshole.

“It’s cool,” Jake offers, knowing what Lucas is getting at. “You can’t help who you love, right?”

Lucas nods, awkwardly. “He swore he won’t hurt me again and I believe him.”

Jake doesn’t look as convinced, but he smiles comfortingly and pats Lucas on the back. “We’re the only ones left in here, we better get in there before we get into trouble.”

Lucas realises he’s only half dressed and quickly throws his shirt on, following Jake out onto the court. He joins the rest of the team, not noticing the look of jealousy on Nathan’s face.

*~*~*~*

The Scott boys head back to Nathan’s apartment after practice, unusually quiet in the car journey home. As soon as the apartment door shuts, Nathan’s on Lucas, trying to kiss him while his hands pull at the older boy’s shirt, awkwardly trying to undo buttons without looking.

Lucas laughs at Nathan’s enthusiasm, pulling away to finish the job properly. “What’s got into you?”

Nathan grins, swatting Lucas’ hands away and undoing the last few himself. “You if I’m lucky.”

“I thought we were going to go slow for a while,” Lucas reminds him, letting Nathan slide the shirt off his shoulders.

“Can’t go slow, want you too much,” Nathan argues, playfully, leading Lucas further into the apartment until his back collides with the kitchen counter. He’s back on Lucas’ lips instantly, his hands sliding up from Lucas’ sides until they’re running across his chest.

The feeling is like no other, so familiar that Lucas’ body remembers each and every touch, responding to them with shivers of arousal that make him hard almost instantly. Memories of Nathan’s hands and lips and everything else…but then flashes. Nathan and Tim, Nathan in Tim…poisonous flashbacks of a memory Lucas wishes he could forget and all of a sudden, it’s all he can see, all he can think about.

“I can’t.” Lucas shudders, pulling away from Nathan’s lips against his neck. “Nathan, stop it.”

Annoyed, Nathan falls back and throws his hands up. “What?”

“I’m not ready,” Lucas explains, not looking his brother in the eye. “It’s too soon.”

“It’s not like we haven’t done this before,” Nathan reminds him. “This is hardly your first time.”

“I know and I’m not saying I don’t want to, I just can’t…” Lucas breaks off, frustrated at being unable to explain this. “I don’t know if I can trust you.” The hurt that crosses Nathan’s eyes is painful to watch, but Lucas holds onto the belief that he’s justified in his admission. He just wishes Nathan could see that.

“What can I do to fix this?” Nathan asks, moving back in towards Lucas, slipping his arms around Lucas’ waist and pulling them together lovingly. “Just tell me.”

“Give me some time, okay?” Lucas asks, pulling away once again. He grabs his shirt and walks over to the front door, pausing as he opens it. “And maybe next time, we could do it somewhere other than the exact place I caught you fucking someone else.” The tone isn’t accusatory, or even sarcastic. It’s just defeated and hurt. Exactly how Nathan feels right now. Lucas opens the door before Nathan can say a word and slips out, throwing his shirt on but not bothering with the buttons. He just can’t bring himself to care.

Frozen to the spot, Nathan clenches his eyes shut. How could he be that stupid? “Fuck,” he mutters angrily at himself, only the mocking silence there to hear his frustration. He instantly grabs his phone to call Tim, the one person who can make him forget he’s a screw up…the one person who doesn’t need him to be perfect. His finger hovers over the button, the promise he made to Lucas repeating in his head.

*~*~*~*

“You look like you need a good fuck.” Tim greets him at the door, pushing past his best friend and into the apartment. “Should I just drop my pants now or do you wanna pretend you invited me over for some other reason?”

For someone so stupid, Tim certainly has his moments.

“Who’s pissed you off this time?” The hyperactive teenager asks, heading over to the kitchen to raid the fridge.

“Lucas was here,” Nathan states, numbly, flopping down onto his couch, devoid of all energy.

“You spend too much time with him. Every time I see you after you’ve been with him, you’re like this.” Tim smirks, walking over to join him. “I know how to make you feel better.”

Nathan watches in almost a detached daze as his best friend slips down in between his splayed out legs, hands heading for his jean-clad crotch. He’s hard before Tim is even there, his mind on Lucas despite the very different hand sliding down his now very undone jeans, sinking into his underwear and quickly drawing a hitched moan from him as the contact kills the last bit of sense he has left. “I’m not supposed to do this…” Nathan mutters, as if the words will make up for his lack of physical protest.

“Why the fuck not?” Tim asks, tightening his grip around Nathan’s cock. “We’ve been doing this since you started dating Peyton. Not like anyone knows about it. ‘Cept Lucas.” He grins at the memory of being caught by the blond.

“Okay, get the fuck off me.” Nathan shoves him away, ignoring Tim’s yelp of pain as his skin catches on Nathan’s zipper.

“Fuck, Nate! Watch it!”

“Lucas isn’t the only one who knows. You told the whole fucking team,” Nathan reminds him, irritably, zipping his jeans back up. “I’m not doing this with you anymore.”

“Heard that before,” Tim mutters to himself, cradling his injured hand.

Nathan can’t sit still any longer, his whole body feels wrong, like his muscles are fighting against him and his lungs just can’t draw in enough oxygen. All he does know is this doesn’t feel right anymore. He’s not sure it ever did. “Tim, you keep letting me use you like this and you’re gonna be as screwed up as I am. Just…go, okay? And you tell anyone about any of this and I’ll kick your ass.”

“I just got here…” Tim starts, confused with Nathan’s attitude. He’s seen his friend angry before, but this is different. This time ‘over’ really does sound like ‘over’. “I only ever did what you asked me to do. I didn’t do anything wrong!”

“No, I did.” Nathan says, sounding defeated. “I don’t deserve you, I don’t deserve…” He breaks off and shakes his head. “I need to talk to Lucas, I need to…just go, Tim. Please. You have to go.”

“Why Lucas?” Tim demands. “First you hate him, now you act like you love him or something.”

Nathan storms over to the front door and opens it, staring at Tim. “I’m sorry I called you over here for nothing, but I made a mistake.”

Tim’s eyes are no longer on Nathan, they’re on the open door.

Nathan gets a horrible feeling as he turns to follow Tim’s gaze, his eyes meeting with more hurt. More guilt. More of everything he’s been trying to erase from Lucas’ eyes. It’s all there, worse than ever. And then it’s not. Because Lucas is walking away. “Luke! Don’t.” He takes off after his brother, not giving a shit about his front door or the pissed off Raven he’s left back in his apartment…the only thing that matters right now is the one person he can’t seem to stop hurting. “Luke, slow down!”

“I really don’t want to hear it.” Lucas snaps at him as he reaches his truck, slipping in the drivers seat and shutting the door before Nathan can catch up. He starts the engine and drives off, ignoring Nathan’s pleading.

He can barely see the road as he turns onto it, his eyes are blurred with tears.

*~*~*~*