A MATTER OF TRUST

A/N: Given that I belong to an era where dinosaurs roamed free and condoms were used only to prevent unwanted pregnancies, I do not incorporate the use of them into my writing, as I lack first-hand knowledge in condom etiquette. And since I write about 2 FICTIONAL consenting ADULTS engaging in sexual activities, that’s all right. You, however, are a real adult. Be a smart one, use protection! Thank you. I’ll step from my soapbox and continue with the story…

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Nick held on to her waist all the way up to her car, where he was forced to release her in order to open the trunk and throw his overnight back inside, closing the lid afterwards. He had noticed they had walked in companionable silence, enjoying the closeness without need for words. But now that they had separated, the silence grew pregnant with unasked questions and harbouring doubts. Sofia kept playing with the car keys, unsure as to what to do next. Sure, they had kissed… oh, my, had they! But now…

“Maybe you should keep the bag in the back seat…”

Her sentence went unfinished. She didn’t know exactly how to end it. How had things gotten so complicated? Stating that the bag in the back would make it easier for him to get out of the car and avoid the awkward “should I or shouldn’t I ask her in” dance and song, might not be well received. In fact, Sofia was almost certain that Nick wouldn’t understand it at all. He’d probably think she was pissed off at him for having kissed her and that was the farthest from the truth he’d ever be. If Sofia were to be honest with him (and her, as well) that Texan charm of his had gotten under her skin and she couldn’t shake the memory of his voice and his smile late at night whilst she lay alone in her bed. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she had been dreaming of that kiss for months, and now she was yearning for an encore.

But what if Nick didn’t feel the same way? What if he was regretting his actions, no doubt fueled by the influence of drugs? As much as Sofia was a romantic soul underneath the tough exterior, she wasn’t keen on fooling herself. She was well aware that all those so-called “signs” those darned female mags yakked about endlessly could very well be only in her mind. So what if he smiled warmly at her? He smiled to Sara and Cat in the same fashion. So what if his hand lingered on her lower back for a second or two? The man has been brought a gentleman, and as such, he’d be sure to guide her and protect her. So what if her whole skin burned with his touch? It was her skin who had a problem; it didn’t necessarily mean his fingers were creating the fire on purpose. So what if he favoured standing with his hands jammed in his jeans pockets? The magazines were right, it did emphasize his…err… package. Emphasize with capital letters and underlined in bold, to make matters even worse. Emphasize enough to make any sane woman wonder. And wonder she had, more than once, whilst pleasing herself in the tub.

Nick couldn’t really “hear” all that train of thought whilst she juggled the keys, but he was fairly certain where the train was headed. If Sofia wanted the bag in the back was because she didn’t want to stop at his place. And that could only mean she was embarrassed by the whole thing. It could also mean she was revolted by the whole thing, but she had yet to slap him, or worse, so he was almost certain it was embarrassment. He could relate to that. Big time. Ever since he stopped considering her one of Ecklie’s minions and more like “one of them” ha had been intrigued by her. The accent, the hair, the eyes… those had been the first to attract him and he had given the idea more than a fleeting consideration before deciding against it. “Too complicated” he thought. But then he had seen her anguish after shooting a fellow officer and the warm spot he had for her began growing in size and depth. She didn’t really care about her future in the force; she just couldn’t stop berating herself for having killed an innocent man.

He had longed to hold her in his arms and comfort her, but he had sensed she didn’t want to be comforted, so he left her alone. He respected her for it, actually. For as much as a gentleman he was, he was also a Texan, and he liked his women strong, pretty much like his mom and his grandma back home. Women who could take care of themselves just fine, thank you very much. No matter how beautiful a woman was, he couldn’t suffer fools, or, God forbid, vain hollow dolls. Even in his one night stands, he had run away from those types, and the only time he hadn’t, the only time where his protective nature got the best of him, well… he’d rather not go there just then.

So there they were, fidgeting like a couple of teens on their first date ever, neither one looking up or speaking out. What happened next took them both by surprise, and, had he been asked, Nick would have been willing to swear under oath that he hadn’t planned it. It just happened.

Nick raised his left hand in an attempt to squeeze her shoulder, a friendly, non-committal gesture and reached out with his right one to grab the keys. His hands, however, missed their intended marks completely. The left one slid from her shoulder to her neck; the other one went to her hip. Before he even knew what he was doing, his thumb began caressing her cheek. Nick never knew if it was her gasp-like moan upon his touch, the closing of her eyes or the way her lips parted, but it took him less than a second to reclaim those lips with his own once more. His left hand got hold of her head, tangling with her hair, angling her so he could deepen the kiss, whilst the other one snaked around her waist, pulling her flush against him, holding her tight, relishing the feel of her curves against his own frame.

Sofia berated herself for a fraction of a second. How could she be so weak? She was trembling before he even touched her, burning before he even caressed her, and surrendering before he even kissed her. The moment his lips closed down on hers, she knew she was a goner, and she wasn’t going to fight it. If Nick Stokes wanted to fuck her right then and there, against her car, in broad daylight, she would let him. Heck, she’d help him! She only prayed that his voice of reason was stronger than hers and managed to get them, at least, inside the car.

He was no stranger to desire, but he hadn’t felt it with this searing intensity in a long time. His mind fleetingly remembered Tracy, his high school sweetheart, not his first lay but definitively his first love. Kissing Sofia reminded him of kissing Tracy, and he archived that thought in the “Later” file in his brain. He was sure he was going to spend many a night pondering about why the feelings were so close, but for now, all he wanted was to get lost in the feeling of Sofia’s skin under his fingers, Sofia’s hair tangled in his hand, Sofia’s mouth opening under his, Sofia’s soft body pressed underneath him… The mere thought of it was enough to cause his cock to jump into attention and he fought hard to resist the urge of rubbing himself against her, of letting her know what she did to him.

“Sofia…”

“Yes.”

“Are you…?”

“Yes!”

Sofia half expected to feel his hands all over her body, to feel his mouth on her neck, to feel buttons being unbuttoned, zippers being unzipped, hooks being unhooked. Instead, all she felt was the unexpected coldness left by Nick taking a step back. “What the..?” she thought, totally lost as to what had happened. Next thing she knew, Nick had opened the door to the back seat.

“Sofia… I… I want this… I want this badly. But not in a parking lot, at least not the first time”, his playful smile conveyed the double entendre loud and clear. “So please, get in the back seat. I can’t be held responsible if we crash on the way home if you’re sitting next to me.”

They looked at each other and smiled, shyly. Sofia did as asked and slid in the back seat, careful to position herself where he wouldn’t be able to see her in the rearview mirror. Nick got in the driver’s seat and it wasn’t long before they were headed to her place.

“I thought we were going to your house”, she said, conversationally.

“Yours is closer. Besides, if someone has to do the walk of shame tomorrow morning, I’d much rather it were me.”

“Always the gentleman”, she thought. “Mayhaps so, but gentlemen don’t make you go weak at the knees with one kiss” the little voice inside her head reminded her. “Gentlemen don’t make you throw caution to the wind.” Sofia thought that her inner voice reminded her of her mother. She smiled at the thought. She could hear her mother just fine: “Sofia Ann Elizabeth! A lady does not give in to passion in public places!” Maybe her mother had tried to raise her a lady, but she was sure her mother had never expected she’d have to reckon with a force such as Nick Stokes.

The rest of the ride was done in silence. Each of them kept their thoughts to themselves, afraid to unbalance the ambiance their kisses had created. Each one was afraid to let their doubts take the shape of a question asked out loud. Did they want this? Yes. They both had actually dreamt about this encounter tenths of times. Has either of them considered what would happen after the deed? No, they hadn’t, and there laid the whole crux of the matter. If they questioned things too much they’d probably part at the door with a friendly handshake and be done with it.

Once they got to Sofia’s house, Nick turned off the ignition and turned around in the seat to face her.

“I’m not good at talking so I’ll say my piece once. I’ve been intrigued by you for a long time. Yesterday, when I thought you were in danger, all I could think of was that I was an idiot for never telling you. I promised myself, whilst trapped inside that coffin, that I would never allow myself to waste one more day without letting the people I care about know about it. I care about you, a lot. More than I dare to admit to myself. And I physically crave you, only God knows why, but I’m certain that if I don’t get to kiss you on a regular basis I’m going to be a very unhappy man. I’m not asking for anything. All I want to know is if you feel the same. If you do, we will find a way to make this work out. If you don’t… then I guess I’ll just thank you for the memory and I’ll be going my way…”

Sofia looked at him, seemingly pondering her response. The look in his eyes was priceless: the raw emotion, the desire, the hope… everything she wanted to know was there for the taking if she would allow herself to run that risk.

“Would you like some lunch? I can make a mean omelette….”

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A/N: Consider this foreplay… we all love foreplay, don’t we? Next ep we’ll come to more.. in-depth… matters.