Not Fast Enough

Clark opened his eyes, blinking as he yawned. While he didn't need to yawn, his body reacted to the normality of the function. He was discovering more things, like that, about himself all the time.

Lex helped with that. He was always so curious, about everything, and lately he'd been more so. So helpful.

Constantly asking questions, and preparing surveys to take to the A.I. in the Arctic. Like the one he saw typed, double-spaced, and color-coded on the bed table.

"Overprotective, much." He muttered good-naturedly, under his breath.

"Even without the aid of super-hearing, I caught that, Clark."

Biting back a laugh, Clark turned his head, stretching out his neck to look at the man standing, naked from waist up, at the doorway of the bathroom.

"Oops."

Lex's eyebrow raised in a perfect arch. "Mmm hmm. Is there any part of you that believes I'm going to buy into your sweet little 'oops'?"

Standing up slowly, stretching his arms above his head, Clark followed stormy-gray eyes as they watched his every move. Grinning, he settled his hands down on his hips, digging a single finger from each hand into the waistband of his pajama pants on either side of his waist.

"I'm sure there's something I can come up with." Clark said, beaming a wide, toothy smile.

Laughing, Lex moved into his space, placing a foot between his spread legs. A pale, elegant hand slid down a golden torso to settle in between waiting hands. "I'll just bet you can." His hand slid inside the threadbare bottoms, grasping around a ready erection. "But, you're still taking that survey up to the A.I. today."

Groaning, Clark moved a hand down to dislodge Lex's massaging fingers.

"Lex, this has got to stop."

"No, Clark." Lex stepped back, icy steel slamming down against his eyes. "It doesn't. Not until we know everything we possibly can." His voice was as hard as his eyes, and Clark flinched at the thoroughness of the transformation. "How am I supposed to protect you, if I don't know how?" He firmly removed his hand from Clark's grip, pulling it back against himself.

"You're not, Lex. This is a relationship. We take care of each other, yes. But, Lex, if I was human, there would be even more risks. I could be in danger of falling down a set of stairs and breaking my neck. You cannot control everything."

Lex turned in a wide circle, shrugging. He moved back to the bathroom, pausing in the doorway to look back. "Watch me."

"Arrgh..." Clark ran a frustrated hand through his hair, driving the inky curls straight up into the air. He stomped towards the lit doorway, and leaned against the frame. "Lex, I get it. You got scared. It was really bad, and I know you're scared that you'll lose me. I totally get it, but you have to stop and just let us be. You're driving me crazy."

Looking up in the mirror's reflection, Lex smirked around the mouthful of toothpaste in his mouth. Shrugged again, and continued to brush. Their eyes continued to watch each other, only breaking when Lex bent over to rinse his mouth.

"What good am I alive to you, if we're not even together, Lex?" Clark asked, watching as Lex's head jerked up, shocked. Icy steel melted away to reveal raging silver clouds of pain.

"You're going to leave me?" The words were raspy, and horrible.

Clark moved forward, shaking his head adamantly. He grasped cold hands in his, bringing them to his lips. "Lex-"

"Because, Clark, I don't think you should forget that I am perfectly willing and capable of annihilating the entire world if I have to live without you." The words were cold and furious, and Clark's hands slid up trembling arms, lifted to Lex's shoulders, shaking them hard.

"Goddamnit, Lex. I meant that we never even see each other any more. I'm always doing these stupid, damned surveys up in the stupid, damned Arctic...and you're researching night and day. I've never had the inclination to leave you. What the hell?" Clark's voice rose with anger, rumbling down into his chest. He let go of Lex's shoulders at the tiny wince he saw on his pale face. "Why do you have to say that? Why do you even have to think that?"

"Because, it's the truth, Clark." Lex's eyes slid shut, and he breathed in deeply, relief flooding his face with color. "I'm sorry that I misunderstood you."

Clark's head fell back, and bright green eyes rolled towards the ceiling. "How about a 'sorry' for the constant threats to end the world, Lex."

His head jerked to the side, following Lex's movements as the man moved past him and out of the small room. Lex walked over to the closet, stepping inside and back out quickly with a hanger shrouded in opaque plastic. He lifted the plastic, and slid the hanger out of the collar, every movement careful and deliberate. He tugged on the crisp, lavender shirt and began buttoning it with efficient fingers.

"Lex."

Finishing the last button, Lex stepped towards the door with swift strides. "The survey, Clark. Don't forget. I'll be back later tonight." He grabbed cufflinks, platinum shining in the strained light. Clark tried, and failed, to catch Lex's eyes as he stepped through the doorway, began to pull the door closed.


"Lex..." The door shut off his words, and Clark moved to the bed, falling back onto it. He scooted up, resting against the headboard, and picked up Lex's pillow, bringing it to his face and inhaling deeply.

Hugging his arms around the pillow, he held it close, tucked under his chin. When he spoke, it was clear and sad, and to a man who wouldn't listen.

"I didn't survive just to see you again, Lex. I survived so I could LIVE with you. I miss you." Softer, and broken on a sigh, the tiny recorder beside the bed picked up the words as Clark slid down into the bed. "You're so afraid of losing me. Don't you miss me....now?"

~~~~~~

Clark was asleep when Lex slipped back into the room, a mere twenty minutes later. He'd remembered the tiny, digital recorder he used for phone conferences about twenty feet outside of the building, and had instantly gone back in...not trusting anyone to go into the penthouse while Clark was there.

Looking down at the bed, he couldn't stop the wave of love that flooded him as he watched Clark's mouth part in a heavy sigh. Reaching down with a gentle thumb, he smoothed a line across the silky skin of his forehead. Strands of absurdly soft hair brushed across his hand, and he combed the strands through his fingers. Allowing his hand to rest, for a moment, in the decadence of Clark's thick hair, Lex enjoyed just seeing his lover, breathing in the sweet, subtle fragrance of him.

It was with reluctance that he moved away from the bed, grabbing the recorder with an efficient hand as he moved out of the bedroom, sliding the door shut silently behind him.

He pressed the play button to check the contents before erasing them, and heard his own voice, cold and distant. He shivered as he heard the door click shut, cutting Clark off. The sounds of Clark settling onto the bed were cutting into him, harsh and thick, when he heard Clark's voice. So sad. His love was so sad, and he'd done that to him.

"'Don't you miss me....now?'"

The words ripped into him, and he threw down the recorder, slammed his hand onto the nearest wall. Standing there, the side of his hand stinging smartly, he rested his forehead against the wall.

He woke every morning with the vision of flames lighting up the skyline of Metropolis. The certainty that Clark Kent was dead. Every damn morning. Before his eyes would open, the panic and the sorrow would run through his body, and he would feel desolate and horribly alone. And then, his eyes would open, and he would turn his face and see golden skin and long, thick lashes, a beautiful mouth huffing out wispy breaths, and just as surely as the morning sun flooded Clark with energy and strength...the sight and the feel of Clark lying next to him filled him with hope and relief, and love.

And, just as he was unable to let go of those moments of panic, he was unwilling to release his quest to make sure his nightmare never occurred.

He was here. In the next room. Sleeping, strong and alive, and HIS.

And, he wasn't with him.

The realization staggered him, literally rocked his feet out from under him, and he held his hand against the wall, tripping over to a chair so he could fall into it.

All the minutes, hours...days he was wasting. WASTING time he could be spending in that bedroom...touching Clark, kissing Clark, listening to Clark tell horribly bad jokes. He could be making love to Clark.

He remembered, with a bitter smile, telling Clark that he should not waste any time, when Ryan had been dying. Clark had run around, frantic, trying to find a doctor, a cure...anything to save him. And, Lex had told him to not waste any time. To spend what time he had with the boy. To have no regrets.

The hypocrisy slid under his skin, leaving him cold and uncomfortable.

No one knew how much time they had, and Clark was here. He was here, now, and he felt so...so stupid.

The blood drained from his face as he forced himself to his feet. He placed one foot in front of the other, turning the door knob slowly, and walking inside. His movements were slow and shaky, and he leaned against the door as it slid shut. Quaking fingers came up to his pristine shirt, and it took him a considerably long time to unfasten buttons he had so easily slid into place not so long ago.

Stepping away from the door, he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Crouching down, he removed his shoes and socks, sliding them over to sit next to each other at the foot of the bed. The belt at his waist made a slippery, hissing sound as he slid it through the loops at his waist. It fell to the floor with a dull clink as the buckle bounced on the carpet.

Clark's head jerked on it's pillow, and he raised up, eyes focusing on Lex. Focusing on the hands currently pushing perfectly creased pants over slim hips. Taking silk boxers with them.

"Lex."

Clark sounded so confused, and hopeful. His eyes were clear, and there was a wary happiness in them.

Smiling, Lex tilted his head to the side. "You are so beautiful."

A surprised flush tinted Clark's skin a bright pink, and a grin slipped onto his plush lips.

Raising a knee onto the bed, Lex leaned forward, hands dropping down to support his body as he brought his other knee up. His gaze never left Clark's darkening eyes.

"You're everything to me, Clark." Moving forward, Lex straddled strong legs as they twisted with Clark's body while he turned onto his back. "If I have the rest of eternity with you, it won't be enough. Wasting even one minute is wrong. It's very, very wrong. So wrong to waste any time I have with you." His hands surrounded invulnerable wrists that were shuddering beneath his fingers. He pressed them up, over Clark's head and held them down, into the mattress. "I miss you now, Clark."

Clark's head fell to the side, a tremor shooting through him. His eyes were swimming, and he blinked furiously, trying to contain himself.

Lex moved a hand to that precious face, turned it towards him. "If I promise to stop threatening to end the world, will you forgive me, Clark?"

A loud shout of laughter burst from Clark's lips. Sunshine-bright smile, like no one else on earth, and it was all for him. Clark's freed wrist moved to slide a hand across Lex's chest.

"There's nothing to forgive, Lex. I understand why you've been so worried...why you've been reacting the way you have. I love you, you dork." The words, whisper-quiet, warmed Lex.

"Not a dork, Clark. You're the dork." The word were pressed against smiling lips. "I'm a geek. There's a difference."

Clark sighed into his mouth. "You talk too much."

Lex chuckled, tongue darting out to lick Clark's upper lip. "You complaining?"

"No." Clark licked back, face nudging up, to slide his mouth fully onto Lex's. Closed over it, and slid inside. His tongue slid across Lex's, stroking it softly. Fingers slid across a bare neck, moving up across a naked scalp to lay flat against the skin. Warm and tender, and there.

Lex's hands slid down a heavily muscled abdomen to grasp the waistband of the thin pajamas. Pushed them down, and over a swiftly hardening erection. They settled on Clark's thighs and Lex chuckled as he felt the body beneath his start to wiggle, trying to work the pants the rest of the way off of his legs. Feet shifting and kicking lightly, and a soft swish onto the floor, and Clark was grinning triumphantly.

"What are you going to do with me now, Lex?" Clark's voice was low, teasing, and Lex flashed shining, white teeth at him in a wide smile.

Heavy hands settled on Lex's hips, pulling him up against Clark's hard flesh. Thrusting him upwards in slow, torturous arcs. He fell forward, feeling silky strands of dark hair slide against his bare skin. Nestling into the smooth, salty skin in the crook of Clark's neck, he drew warm skin between his teeth, worrying it gently between his teeth.

Nibbling his way up that long line of neck, he paused at an earlobe, lapping at it with a short, swift lick. Placed his lips up against a soft cheek to whisper into a listening ear. "I'm going to worship you. Devour you. I'm going to love every part of you, until you beg me for mercy." He placed an airy kiss down on the spot he'd just rested his face, letting his mouth ghost across Clark's face, pursing and sucking little kisses along random spots. "Just try and stop me."

"Never." The word was dropped from a tanned throat, deep and tangled. "I want you, Lex. You KNOW I do." Clark's hands caught his questing face, drawing it still, and bringing their mouths together. Lips met, wet and open, and neither man knew where the moans rumbling along their tongues were originating from. Neither cared.

Light spilled in through the parts of the curtains, and sunlight was painting Clark's skin. Every inch warming and gleaming under the light, and Lex followed the light with his tongue. Clark was moaning, loud and deep, and Lex's fingers worked down to hard thighs, massaging in tiny circles. Fingertips played in a dance, slipping up to slide into the unnaturally soft hair that framed Clark's cock. Every inch of skin surrounding the engorged flesh, begging for attention, was nourished, relished. Lex slid his body down, rubbing his own erection against a strong leg. He paused with his mouth hovering over the dark, blood-filled head, blowing a warm breath onto the tip. Waited for brilliant, clear eyes to meet his, and grasped the base with a warm hand. His tongue peeked out, sipping at the leaking slit. Kissed it, and sucked lightly, drinking down the small gush of liquid.

Clark gasped, and reached a hand down to one of his peaked nipples. Twisted, hard, and watched Lex's lips twist around the end of his cock with pleasure. He watched, fascinated, as Lex's mouth opened, and slid down the shaft. So slow. Pale cheeks hollowed as a strong suction surrounded him, and that amazing mouth pulled back, only to fall back down, farther, a strong tongue drawing patterns along the length. Clark felt another strong pulse, and he jerked inside Lex's mouth.

Lex hummed, and pulled back, bringing his hand up along the cock in a tight grip. Slid back down, following his fingers with his lips.

Pulling back, with a soft pop, Lex laid a sucking kiss on the sensitive skin below his navel. "Get the lube, Clark."

Clark's hand flew to the side, yanking open the drawer and falling inside, searching out the elusive bottle. Finally, growling in frustration and at Lex's quiet chuckles, Clark turned his eyes to the drawer, focusing on it with a fierce scowl.

Smiling when he found it, he reached for the bottle, and grasped it, turning to Lex's amused, flushed face.

Both eyebrows up, Lex's face was transformed. Light and happy, and his hands were teasing, nails tickling at Clark's palm as he reached for the clear tube.

Popping open the cap, Lex poured a generous amount into his hand and dropped the bottle beside the bed. He rubbed his hands together, warming the lubricant, and reached for Clark's hand, coating his fingers.

With his free hand, he grasped Clark's cock, running the slippery gel all over it. He delved down, running firm balls between his fingers, enjoying the ease the lube offered.

He rolled off of Clark, onto his stomach, laying his head to face Clark, and smiled. Saw Clark's sweet, determined face flush dark red and heard the hitching breaths.

Hands moved to his ass, parting him so softly; fingers moved easily down his cleft, and paused at the waiting center. Clark placed a finger at the hole, rubbing gently around the edge. Pressed the tip forward, and slid carefully in.

Lex sighed, and moved back into Clark's hand. "More."

Trembled when another finger joined the first, sliding in and out, steady and heart-wrenchingly slow. Slow and constant, and so hot. He couldn't stop shaking.

"Clark, please-" He sucked in a breath when a third finger moved inside of him, sliding and crooking and brushing. Filling him, but not enough, and he was dripping onto the bed underneath him. "Clark. I need you. Inside."

He felt the heat coat his body as Clark moved over him. Felt the skin of his cock as he lined it up and removed his hand. Slid in so easy, and he still gasped with the amazing shock of it. Saw the world darken and flash in front of his eyes, and squeezed them shut.

"Oh, god, yes. Now. Please."

He heard Clark's breaths quicken, and drove himself back against the rough thrusts that were filling him. Driving him beyond the point of thought or consciousness. Nothing but the feeling of Clark in him, thighs brushing against him, a hand hot on the crook of his neck.

Clark's chest as he moved down to lick a wide stripe down his spine. And his mouth.

As he spoke to him.

"I'd never leave you, Lex." A long thrust, and Lex was sobbing. "I couldn't." Wet mouth kissing his head, above his at the base. "I'd come back from the dead for you."

Lex shattered, his untouched cock bursting, flooding his belly with heat and wet, and he heard Clark's scream above him.

Felt two long, hard pushes, and he was filled. Warmth and Clark inside him, and he shivered, happy.

Clark was so gentle as he lifted himself off of him, moving to the side, and pulling Lex on top of him. Lex's head rested on his chest, the familiar pose so comfortable.

"You know, Clark," he murmured, "I'd prefer it if you didn't actually need to come back from the dead." It was said with a chuckle, though. The earlier tension was elsewhere. There was only Clark and Lex.

Clark kissed his temple, and laughed with him. Shrugged. "The way I see it...you keep me in bed all the time, you have nothing to worry about."

Rolling his eyes, Lex raised his head up on an elbow and looked down at bright, peridot eyes. Started to speak, and then frowned thoughtfully. Cocked his head to the side, and laid back down. Smiled. Plotted.

"Well, there's an idea."

"Lex..."

"What?" Lex smirked, snuggled into the firm, warm chest. Felt an arm snake it's way around his waist, and grabbed the hand, holding it against him. "I'm agreeing with you, Clark."

He fell asleep, and his dreams were free of fire and death. They were replaced with Clark Kent tied to a bed, covered in a warm caramel sauce.

He sighed in his sleep, and Clark smiled.

"I love you, Lex."


~~~~
Hope you're enjoying this. There are going to be 2 more parts of this 'look into' this particular Clark/Lex reality. I love input, so please let me know what you think! Thanks! :-)
~Morgan