By your side baby

Chapter 2. Know.



John is walking towards Dean’s room, he is nervous; the nurse told him about his oldest’s scream and his question about his Sam.



Dean is waiting for his father but can’t help to think about Sam and that maybe he is not ok, why the doctor said your father and not your family?



When John enters the room he can see his son in the bed, rings under his eyes, lost in thoughts.



“Hi son”. John says with a small smile.



Dean just can see him to the eyes like trying to reading him, to see if something is happening.



“Hi Dad”. Dean says slowly.



“Well is see you awake because all this seven days have been really-…”John tried to said before be interrupted for his son.

“Cut the crap Dad, where is Sam?” Dean says very tired of all the small smiles and conversations when he just wants to see his Sammy.

They have been together, really together after Sam went missing, Dean almost goes crazy, but after he found him, back in the Impala Dean tried to told him everything but was interrupted for Sam’s lips they were perfect, so warm and sweet…and since then they are a couple, they sleep in the same bed, they hold hands while they walking. Sam makes Dean happy and John knows that, is because of that John is good with that relationship. And now Dean just knows that Sammy is in danger but how?



“Dad…please tell me. Where is Sam? The demon took him?” Dean is now begging.

John doesn’t know what to do, what to say, he knew Dean was going to be like this after be awake but…is so hard say what he has to say, this is going to break his son.



“No. Dean…Sam is hurt” That just killed Dean. “A truck hit us while we where coming to find help for you” God this is so hard. “Sam hit his head really hard and …”



God no no no please Sammy is not not he is not…god no please. So many ideas are running in Dean head. John is standing near the bed, looking his son’s face and he knows what Dean is thinking.



“No son, Sam is not dead” Gain. “He is in his own room, I was with him before your nurse-…”

I want to see him, and don’t tell me that is ok, that I can wait, because I’m waiting to see Sam¡¡¡” Dean now is yelling, tears are in his eyes but no falling. He just wants to see him.



“Ok let me take a wheelchair ok? Please Dean, just try to relax, please” Now is John who is begging, and is the first time that Dean can really see the pain in his father, the bloodshot eyes, his tired voice. God what is happening with you Sam?



•



In Sammy door bedroom is a doctor waiting and Dean just knows that is really bad.



“Nice to see you finally awake Mr. Forester. I’m Samuel doctor.”



No Samuel, Sam, and for me is Sammy. Dean says in his mind.



“Before you enter is better if I tell you everything”

“Finally…but can I see him first? Please...”

The doctor looks John and shocks his head.



“No Sir, is better if I talk to you first, this is going to be really hard for you because well he is your partner.”



Dean is holding his tears, and just nods his head. He is to one step of Sammy and this man and his father are making him stay here, while Sam is in there all alone, probably waiting for him.



“Ok. Your father told me that Sam was having some changes in his behavior, and well now we have the reason, but first I want to tell you all his injuries from the crash. Sam has suffered a closed head injury. Hairline skull fracture. He experienced some brain swelling, but we are giving drugs for to keep that under control. Sam’s head was snapped side to side when the truck hit the ca. He has a breathing tube to insure he maintained an airway, and because he had no gag reflex when he arrived at the ER” Dean’s heart is beating so fast now that he can hears it. “I’m sorry he is in a coma and is… permanent”



Dean can’t believe that words, that are a lies, is not possible. “What?? Are you telling me Sammy, my Sammy won’t wake up? He is not…?”He is not going to listen anymore, he moves to his brother’s room.



Wheeling slowly he can see his brother, getting close long tears falls desperate and sad eyes stares at the still form in the bed, and it made his chest tighten. Sam’s skin was all pale and had abrasions. His face was bruised in the left side. There was an obvious breathing tube jutting from his little brother’s mouth. He saw IV’s and monitors. Dark eyelashes were a contrast against his brothers pale color. His brown bangs were across his forehead, and he could see sutures hidden along his hairline covered with a line of steristrips.



He glared at the doctor now because his father’s face…the doctor’s face. GOD. “There is more, right?” Dean asked with a raspy voice while he holds Sam’s cold and limp hand. He is afraid of the answer, what is worse that Sammy not waking up again, what can be more horrible that the light, the center of his life won’t never open his eyes again, no more of that smiles, theses long legs on him, his sweet kisses.



“Yes, is more” The doctor looks to John and both take a deep breath while Dean takes a hard hold in Sammy’s hand. “Listen, I need you to listen and understand. The changes in Sam’s mood all the sickness have an explanation now, when we took him to surgery we found out. Is more that a miracle that it survived the accident, Sam stopped breathing and well it looks fine, a low heartbeat but is ok, for now”.



Dean can’t really understand. He just cries and cries. What?? He is not stupid, he remembers all the sickness and the mood swings…



“I need talk to you, please Dean, just listen to me, please”.

“Dean listen please…I’m…well I’m…you are gonna...”



Sammy was trying to talking to him, but like always he just said shut up.

God. God God. Sammy. Sam. Please. What. Dean is just silent, is now looking Sam’s stomach, now that he is completely flat in the bed, and is possible see a small bump in there. How? A bump? So fast. Dean is so confused, in so much pain. He doesn’t have his geek boy who always explains all the things to him. Sam. Sammy.



“Dean…Dean…Son…Please” His dad is calling him, but he just want to look Sam and his tummy. Tummy. Yea a tummy.



“Son please…” For John is like he is in a coma and not his baby son. A coma where he is living a horrible reality. He just want wake up. But this is the true and hurts more that a lie.



Dean looks the doctor, and he continues. “Sam has internal injuries, a bleeding in his brain, his liver and kidneys were completely damaged, but in the surgery three days ago, we closed the entire open wound in his kidneys and liver. And we drained the blood in his brain. This help in make Sam more stable. The baby can survive at last until the sixth month, the baby can be taken and stay in an incubator”.



All in his mind is foggy and confusing. But taken and at last???? What…take the baby out?? An incubator? Baby out at least baby survive…wait…NO.



“NO. You saved Sammy just for the baby.” Dean said his voice completely brave and cold, eyes always looking Sam’s pale face.



“What? Mr. Forester, the baby can be saved” The doctor tried.

“And Sam can’t? Well if Sam is not gonna be alive so the baby…-“Dean can’t finish because John has his hands on his face.

“Listen Son, I know ok? I know but don’t finish that sentence please. Close your mouth.” John says with a voice so soft that scares Dean. “Please doctor, let us alone please”. John says to the doctor. The doctor nods and left.



John looks Dean, his right hand is holding his brother’s pale and limp one and the left is close to Sam’s middle. He knew things were going to be hell, after Dean wake up, but still the pain and the hardness of the situation is so much.



He watches his son cry and cry for a long moment and when he touches his own eyes is not surprise in feel tears.



“Why?” is Dean almost inaudible voice.



“I don’t know”. And is true. John doesn’t know why. Why Sammy is like this, why can’t he just open his eyes, Why Sammy is dying…but is worse with a baby…this baby the fact that Sammy is there flat in a bed is a respirator, with bandages in his head is because the baby. Dean is right. The doctor saved Sammy his baby boy just for that new life.



“Is my fault. He was so mad and then so happy, he was getting fat, the sickness just in the mourning”. Dean says with a sad smile.

“What? No Dean” John tries to say.

“He was trying to tell me before we went for you, after the thing with Meg- demon, and I just told him shut up and he did it, he was almost crying. God, he never should have gone there in that cabin, god the crash, that dammed demon”. Dean doesn’t have more tears, he is sobbing but not tears are falling.



He is gonna be a dad, a dad. The ideas of babies never come to his mind. Now a baby is here is there inside Sammy but Sammy is not. A baby without Sammy. When a man knows that is gonna be father is the best news in the word, buy for Dean now is more pain, what has he to feel? He has to be happy for his baby, his son? Or cry for Sam his big and only love?.