If We're Having Fun, Then It's Probably Wrong

Chapter 2: What Are We Doing?

A/N: This is a long one (dirty) and there is an actual sex scene in this one. It all goes down into debauchery from here. Please leave a review and tell me what you think. It’s the best way to judge how I’m doing on this story.

A/N: Dialogue borrowed from 5.01 – Going to California


Forman house - 4 pm

The entire drive back to Forman's from the airport, Hyde was distracted by Jackie. Fez had tried for the front seat, and now, Hyde was thinking maybe he should have let him have it. Jackie's legs were stretched out in front of her, and she sat with her head back against the seat, letting the sun warm her face. Her eyes were closed and her lips slightly parted, her throat exposed and just begging him to lean over and kiss it. He had a sneaking suspicion that she knew just how sexy she looked by the way she kept sighing, letting her breasts rise and fall in a 'I know you're looking and I don't care' sort of way.

He was relieved to get out of the car. He would not fall for Jackie. He would fool around with her, but he would not fall. He was using her and she was using him and that was the way he liked it.
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“Well, the vista cruiser is still here, Eric must be downstairs!” Fez exclaimed climbing out of the car. He was jumping up and down in his excitement to give Eric the ticket. Hyde shook his head, and lead the way downstairs.

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Jackie followed Steven and Fez downstairs. It really was romantic, Eric flying all the way out to California to bring back the woman he loved. Ugh. Too bad it wasn’t a story with more interesting people. Like herself! She began to imagine Steven coming out to California to tell her that he loved her….and then she stopped. Ewww….she didn’t want Steven to love her….or did she. Her head was swimming as they opened the door to reveal Eric sitting on the couch.

“Forman, there's a flight to California in 4 hours and you're on it.” Steven said handing the ticket over. “Before you get all gushy, we didn't pay for it. We stole the money from your secret stash in the Scooby-Doo thermos.”

“You guys knew about Scooby-Doo?” Eric asked staring at the ticket in his hand.

“Well, it's a good try,” Fez said sitting on the back of the couch, “but you should have known that eventually I would need to take some cocoa on the go.”

Jackie moved past them to sit in Steven’s usual chair. She looked at him, challenging him to make her move. This was her newest game to play with him for the last week, trying to get him to notice her not only when they were alone, but also when there were people around. She had already caught him staring at her in the car, and a small smile of triumph passed quickly over her face as he watched her sit. He leaned himself against the door frame.

“Well, thanks, you guys, but, well, my parents will kill me.” Eric threw the ticket on the ‘coffee table’.

“No Eric. We’ll cover for you.” Jackie said. Leaning forward to place a hand on Eric's knee. She looked quickly to catch the look on Steven's face. It was almost jealousy, which, in the romance novel that was her head, was almost perfect.

“Believe me, I got no problem foolin' Whitey.” Steven said, looping his thumbs in his belt loops, trying to ignore Jackie. By the way he kept glancing her way, she knew he was losing the battle.

“Hyde…you're white.” Eric said, turning in Steven’s direction.

“Barely.” He scoffed, finally sitting on the lawn chair opposite her. She crossed her legs seductively and was pleased to see him watch her do it.

“Eric, if you love her, you have to go.” Fez said, placing a hand on Eric’s shoulder.

Eric contemplated for awhile and Jackie looked around already bored with the conversation. She wondered for the millionth time what their basement hangout would look like with a little feminine touch. But Eric had already told her that any stuffed animals, girly curtains, band posters he didn’t approve of or cutesy animal pictures he found would be thoroughly destroyed. She was so lost in her redecorating fantasy that she was startled when Eric jumped up from the couch.

“You're right. I'm gonna do this.” He said walking to the stairs. He turned around one last time to exclaim to them all, “Damn it, I'm goin'!” and then promptly ran up the stairs.

Fez jumped up and ran after him shouting, “Hey, let me help. I love putting together outfits.”

Jackie saw that Steven was about to move to the couch, so she got up and turned on the TV. before sitting down next to him smoothing out her skirt.

“Finally.” Steven said, stretching his arm across the back of the couch behind her.

“Yeah, I thought they'd never leave.” She said glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. Then before she knew it, his lips were crushed against hers, and his hands were in her hair. She ran her hands down his surprisingly muscular shoulders. There were so many things that were surprising her about Steven. Like the romantic thing he had just done for Eric. She suddenly felt the need to tell him she approved, so she pulled back.

“You know, Steven, it was really nice of you to get that ticket for Eric.”

He looked at her for a moment. “This usually works a whole lot better when you don't talk.” At first she was offended. But then she thought, well it’s true. Why waste time talking, we could be interrupted at any moment. So she shrugged and went back to kissing him.




Forman Living Room - two days later - 1 pm

Hyde found that it was a lot harder to keep the Forman’s from noticing their son’s absence than he had thought it would be. Only two days had gone by and he already almost just told them so he wouldn’t have to do as much work. He definitely wasn’t expecting Red to be in the living room when he and Fez walked in to watch TV.

He tried to play it off like they were just heading out the door. “Hey Red.” He slapped him on the shoulder as he walked by his chair.

“Good day, Mr. Red.” Fez said taking Hyde’s lead and slapping him on the shoulder as well.

“Wait a minute. Where's the other idiot?” Red asked, without even looking up from his paper.

"Other idiot?“ Fez asked turning to Hyde. “Do we know another idiot?” In his head, Hyde thought...yeah, you, you moron, but outwardly he just shrugged.

“Where's Eric?” Red asked still reading.

Hyde knew there was only one way to detour Red’s attention. He almost laughed as he began his rant in an indignant tone. “Where's Eric? Where are you, man, and who wants to know?“ He sat down on the couch facing Red. Fez followed suit. “The U.S. Government, that's who. Like I read, by 1984, the government will have tracking devices on all of us, and after that, they're going to jab electrodes up our brains so they can read our memories.“ Oh oh, still nothing, time to break out the heavy artillery. “Damn U.S. Government.”

That got him. “Damn U.S. Government? Without our government, you'd be stuck in Siberia now, suckin' the juice from a rotten Commie potato.” He threw down his paper and stood, pointing at the boys. “Lemme tell you something. If the U.S. Government decides to stick a tracking device up your ass you say "Thank you and God bless America." He angrily stalked through the kitchen door.

“He’s so easy!” Hyde said amused.



Forman Kitchen - 2 pm

He had been avoiding Jackie ever since Forman had left. The distance had done him some good. Last night he had remembered all the annoying things about her. For instance, she was a cheerleader. Good to mess around with, but bad to spend any real time with. After all he had had some fun times with some of the other girls on the team, they were highly flexible. Secondly she liked unicorns, make-up and Donny Osmond. And on top of that, she liked to talk about those things. She was shallow, self-absorbed, vain, selfish, petty, mean, and vindictive and a horrible friend to Donna.

And then she had called him that morning to say she was coming over. As he got rid of Fez with a bag of candy and some playboys, he began to think about her good points as well. Sure she was shallow, self-absorbed and vain, but that all kept her conscious of her appearance, and he was definitely into her looks. Sure she was selfish, but who was he to judge. Aside from stealing Forman's own money to get him a plane ticket, he could count the number of things he had done for others on one hand. And sure she was petty, mean and vindictive, but that also made her witty, smart and a step above her enemies. Which of course was every girl in school. Oh those other girls did envy Jackie Burkhart. And besides, he wasn't the greatest friend either, he had tried to steal Donna away from Eric, messed with Fez's head and watched Kelso do so many stupid, dangerous things without saying a word in warning. But to be fair, it was funnier that way.

When she walked into the kitchen, her smile lit the room. And it was meant just for him. That smile almost... almost made him feel important. She walked over to the counter and leaned on her elbows, giving a great view down her shirt. Hmmmm, her bra was pink. When he found himself contemplating whether her panties matched, he became disgusted with himself.

“Hi, you.” She said.

“Hey.” He answered casually. He didn’t want to lose his cool exterior, even if inside he was all turned around. This was not good.

“Whatcha doin?” She asked, sliding her finger across the counter.

“Sitting here, what does it look like?” He got up and walked to the fridge. “So...what do you want?” He asked, opening the door and peering in, trying to find an errant beer that Red may have forgotten about. He could sense her coming up behind him and he stood to face her, the cool air from the fridge, soothing his suddenly hot skin. For the first time that day, he acted without thinking. He pulled her in and kissed her.

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Jackie loved the feeling of Steven’s hands, her fevered skin and the cool air radiating from the open fridge. She didn’t want it to end, but she had come over with a mission. She had decided she needed to know what Steven thoughts were about them. Because despite his poorness, dirtiness, and horrible fashion sense, she had begun to fall for him. She decided she liked his scruffiness, it made him seem dangerous. And she could even look past his poor fashion sense, because with all his band shirts and old jeans, he looked like a rocker. And she decided she liked rockers. So she pulled away.

“Ok, look, Steven, these last few weeks with you have been really dirty and really wrong.” That was as far as she got.

“Jackie, talking is for people who have something in common.” He interrupted.

She thought about it for a minute, they really didn’t have anything in common outside of really hot dirty make-out sessions. So she shrugged and kissed him again, figuring that at least for now, they should stick to what was working for them. She didn’t hear Mrs. Forman walk in.

“Oh, good God. You kids switch partners more than square dancers.” She said. Jackie pulled away from Steven, embarrassed at finally being caught.

“Um…no, it's not what you think!” Hyde said quickly. “We're not together.” Jackie was quick to nod her agreement.

“Then what's going on in my kitchen.” Mrs. Forman asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Uh...” Jackie looked at Steven, but he obviously had nothing, so she said the first thing she could think of to get Mrs. Forman to forget about them. “Eric's in California.”

Mrs. Forman stared at them for a minute before silently walking back into the living room.

“Jackie, you just totally burned Forman.” For a minute she was worried. He seemed angry, but then he smiled and added. “That was so badass.” He kissed her again before taking her hand and leading her downstairs to his room. “We wouldn’t want to get caught again.” He smiled at her as he sat next to her on the bed. She was excited. Maybe they would finally do it this time. In fact, she would make sure they did. If he was good at sex, that may be just the thin that decides her feelings for her.

So she leaned over and lightly kissed his lips. When he deepened it, she threw her arms around his neck ad moved to straddle him, her skirt sliding slightly up her legs. He leaned back slightly, and placed his hands on her knees. She shivered as he ran his hands up her thighs. When they finally made their way up to her panties, she gasped. He let his finger wander underneath and her breathing quickened as he slid it into her. Her lips moved to his ear and she nibbled on his ear lobe, letting him know that she was ready, that she wanted this.

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She was already getting wet and he was definitely already hard. He pulled his finger out, and gently moved to lay her on he back. If this was going to happen, he would take his time, savoring it, savoring her. She was pulling at his shirt, so he helped her pull it off. In turn, he slowly ran his hands up her torso, taking her shirt with. He was pleased to discover that her bra unhooked in the front. He pulled that off too, suddenly wanting the feeling of her bare skin against his. He laid himself gently over her, enjoying her hard nipples against his chest. As he kissed his way down her neck, he let his left hand wander. It quickly found her breast and gently massaged it. She arched up into him and he began massaging her harder and faster. Her breathing was growing more shallow, so he moved his lips downward, taking he taut nipple into his mouth. She moaned in appreciation as his other hand continued massaging her.

She pulled him back up to her lips and he kissed her hard. He felt her tongue against his lips and opened his mouth, letting her in. Never had anyone’s lips or tongue been as soft as hers were. He broke the kiss to look at her, and she was beautiful. Her big brown eyes were heavy with lust and her lips were swollen and wet. She was staring into his eyes, but he felt her hands at his belt. Leaning down to kiss her again, he lifted his hip slightly so that she would have an easier time undoing his pants. He wanted to feel her cool, soothing hands on him, maybe to bring some peace to that part of him that was aching with need. He had held it off for a long time, and now he was paying the price. When she had actually succeeded in taking him in her hands, he moaned loudly. Her hands were small, but they moved expertly and he felt a sudden pang of jealousy toward Kelso that worried him. But hey, Kelso had thrown her out, it was his loss.

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She was surprised to find how big he was. Bigger than Michael, the only other guy she had ever been with. She was also surprised to find that she liked this better than anything she and Michael had ever done and they hadn’t even had sex yet. She knew why too. Steven was passionate and cared about bringing her pleasure too. She had never known sex could be like this. Slow, loving, and exciting. She ran her hand up and down his length as he squeezed her breasts hard in his mounting elation. He suddenly reached down and grabbed her hand to stop her. She realized he must have been close to release. He smiled at her as he sat up and slowly slipped off her skirt.

"They are pink." he chuckled staring down at her panties.

"What?" Rather than answer her, he threw her another wicked grin as he slid her panties off as well. She watched as he stood to pull off his pants and boxers. She couldn't tear her eyes away from him and he appeared to be studying her as well. He was wonderful, more than she'd ever thought. He was well toned and slightly muscular. She sat up and ran her hand up his stomach, feeling his tight abs. She couldn't wait to feel him inside her.

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She was perfect. Looking at her naked, he know knew why she walked around like she was superior to every other woman on the planet. She very well could be. He watched as she sat up in front of him. Her fingers on his stomach sent shivers down his spine. His penis was throbbing now with need, and he was anxious to alleviate it. He grabbed her by the neck and pulled her up so that she was kneeing on the bed. He kissed her as he ran his hands down her sides. Grabbing her around the waist, he pulled her close, letting his penis rest between her legs. She threw her head back at the feeling and groaned in pleasure. Without another thought, he lifted her petite form in his arms and gently eased himself in side her. Buried deep inside, he walked backwards until he felt a wall. He turned around, leaning her against that wall for support and they began to move together. Their breathing synchronized, and they were both letting out cries of pleasure. In the back of his mind, he prayed that the Formans couldn’t hear them. Being inside Jackie was heaven. She moved expertly, and he could feel her muscles clench around him. He held off as long as he could. She was nearing orgasm, and for the first time in his life, he wanted nothing more than to finish together.

When it finally did happen, it was overpowering for both of them. His knees buckled and
Jackie went limp in his arms, her head dropping on his shoulder. Her skin was slick with sweat as was his. He kissed her shoulder, and tasted salty and sweet all at the same time. Thought was slowly returning to him. He was still buried inside her, her legs wrapped tightly around him. He slowly stepped backwards, letting her regain her balance before releasing her. He collapsed on the bed, absently searching for his clothes. When he finally sat up to pull them back on, he saw that Jackie had her back to him. He took the time to appreciate the view of her naked ass as he dressed. They put their clothes back on in silence. Hyde began to worry. He had shown a lot more tenderness and passion than he had intended. What was she thinking? How could he possibly right this terrible wrong and let her know he didn’t want anything serious from her? Or...did he?
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Jackie was straightening her shirt when Steven spoke. “You aren’t going to get all girly on me now and expect anything right?”

So that was his game. Well, she knew for sure now that she wanted more. And she was going to get it, she was Jackie Burkhart after all. She always got what she wanted. But she’d play his little game for awhile. She knew bossing him around right up front wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Once he was safely hers, she’d be able to get her way. So she turned to him. He was standing right behind her. She smiled. “Yeah right, Steven. I mean that was hot and dirty and all, but do you really think we’d make a good couple? I’d be laughed right off the cheerleading squad. I mean guys like you are good for a fun time, but no respectable girl actually dates them.”

He smiled back at her. “Good, that’s all I want to hear.”

“I know.” She leaned up to kiss him.

Forman Driveway - the next day - 11 am

“So, my folks have no idea I was gone?” Eric asked Steven.

“No idea. You're golden.” he answered throwing a grin Jackie’s way. She smiled back. She, Steven and Fez had gathered to greet Donna, Eric and Michael.

Speaking of whom, Michael made his appearance from the van, walking up to Steven. Jackie waited to see what would happen.

“Hey!” Steven greeted Michael with a hug. So he was going to pretend everything was normal. Then she would also.

“You got a beard. You look so…old.” Michael was saying to Steven.

Steven took a step back and looped his thumbs in his belt. She was beginning to like it when he stood that way. It was so....whatever. “Of course I look old, man. I partied more than you, worked more, drank more, and slept with way more chicks. I'm exhausted, man.” Wait, what chicks? Was he seeing other girls too? No, there was no way, she was always around him. He must have been lying to keep up appearances.

“Fez, my little man!” Michael hugged Fez as well. “How was your summer!”

“Well, I saw a boob and a half down by the pool.” He answered excitedly. Jackie noticed the glance that Steven threw at her chest and she shivered, remembering his touch.

“Yeah, pool boob. Nice!” Michael answered.

Jackie had enough guy talk. She pulled Donna aside. “Look, Donna, I know you're nervous about seeing people at school after running away and all. But I want you to know it's all under control. I told everyone you went away to have a baby.”

“What?” Donna looked upset but Jackie didn’t care. It was the best piece of gossip all summer and she had had the honor of starting it.

“Yeah, it was bad ass. Oh yeah, I say "bad ass" now.” She said grinning proudly. Maybe Steven would have a good impact on her, just like she was planning to have an impact on him.

Just then, Bob and the Formans walked out. Donna turned to her dad. “Hi, Daddy!”

“Don't you "Daddy" me. Although it does sound good to hear those words again.” Bob said, looking lovingly on his daughter. Jackie nonchalantly made her way over to stand by Steven.

“Bob....” Red warned.

His tone seemed to snap Bob out of it. “Right. You're in big trouble, young lady! Now… get home. Now! Move!”

As Donna and Bob walked away, Jackie turned anxiously, waiting to see Eric get in trouble.

“Well…I guess that's what happens when you disobey your parents, huh? Hey…why the long faces? Did you think that I--no! No. Funny story--true story. I'm walkin' home from the library and who should drive by…Kelso and Donna. Back from California where they were, not me.” Jackie saw the unhappy looks on the Formans faces and she almost felt bad for Eric. Almost.

“Oh, hey? They know.” Steven informed Eric and Jackie had to hide her laughter as Red pointed angrily at the house.

“What do you have to say for yourself?” Mrs. Forman asked as Eric walked toward the sliding door.

“I…I brought you a seashell.” Eric tried.

Red apparently didn’t think it was funny. “Just get in the house!” he yelled.

“Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?” Mrs. Forman asked.

“Oh, yeah.” Eric said as he entered the house. “And it was worth it.”

Forman Basement - 1:30 pm

Hyde noticed that when they all returned to the basement, that Jackie took the side of the couch closest to his chair. He knew he was doing what he never thought he would. He was falling for her. But he decided to lie to himself, maybe if he lied long enough, he’d believe it. He glanced past her to Forman and Donna making on the other side and shook his head.

“Oh, not this again.” Fez said from his usual seat on the back of the couch. “I told you…it gives me needs.”

“Ok, fine. We'll be upstairs.” Eric said, helping Donna up off the couch.

“Too late.” Fez gasped and ran out the door. Eric and Donna laughed as they went upstairs.

That left Hyde alone with Jackie and Kelso, who was eyeing Jackie from the lawn chair he was sitting in. He needed to do something to keep Kelso from suspecting. He turned his attention to the TV. “Why are we watching this? It's stupid.”

“You're stupid.” Jackie answered without looking away from the TV.

“Man, I've been gone all summer, and I get back, and everything's just the same.” Kelso said, standing. “I guess nothing ever changes around here.” The moment he left, Hyde moved to the couch on top of Jackie and kissed her. Oh he was in trouble all right.