Saviour

It’s times like this, Lucas is glad he doesn’t have to answer to his mom. Dan probably hasn’t even noticed Lucas hasn’t slept in his bed for two days. It’s certainly made it easier to play night nurse with his wayward brother.

This time Lucas wakes first. He’s surprised to find he’s fallen asleep on Nathan’s bed, still in his clothes and on top of the covers…but still…after everything that’s happened, it hardly seems like a good idea.

He looks down at Nathan, shocked at how badly the bruise has flared up over night. He winces in sympathy. Despite all his troubles, Nathan looks peaceful while he sleeps. It’s almost a shame when he finally wakes and realises he’s being watched. “Oh, fuck.” Nathan mutters, his hand going to his face to feel the damage. “Shit, that hurts. What happened?”

Lucas stands up to let Nathan out of bed, watching as the other boy fumbles his way to a mirror. “I tried to stop you.”

“I picked a fight.” Nathan says, hesitantly, as if barely remembering. “You took me home.”

“Yep.” Lucas says, surprisingly disappointed that Nathan doesn’t remember what he said. “Do you remember anything else…?”

Nathan frowns as he pokes at the bruise, hissing in pain at the contact before poking at it once again. “Not really. Did I sing?”

“Yeah. Badly. And loudly…I think you should apologise to your neighbours.” Lucas tells him.

Nathan stares emptily into the mirror. He looks like the living dead. He feels like it, too. “I’ve gotta stop this.”

Lucas is beyond relieved to hear him say that. He joins him at the mirror. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you, man. We’re gonna get you through this.”

Nathan looks at him strangely, before some kind of realisation hits.

“What’s the matter?” Lucas frowns, confused by Nathan’s behaviour.

“Shit.” Nathan whispers. “What I said to you last night…”

“You were drunk, I’m letting it slide.” Lucas explains, not really wanting to hear that it was a huge mistake. He’d been awake half the night imagining what could have happened if he’d let Nathan continue with his admission. It was the second time he’d got an erection over Nathan, but the first he’d actually given in and enjoyed it. Now really wasn’t the best time to hear he was alone in his perversion.

“We didn’t…do anything, right?” Nathan asks, not sure he wants to hear the answer.

Lucas hits his arm, playfully. “You really think I would have let you near me while you were too drunk to walk properly and had blood gushing out of your nose?”

“I like how you conveniently leave out the fact we’re related in your list of turn offs.” Nathan points out, teasingly.

“Hey, you’re the one in love with me, remember?” Lucas teases right back.

“But you do want more than this, don’t you?” Nathan asks, his tone becoming serious. “I’m not imagining things.”

Every minute that passes Lucas is closer to accepting that this isn’t going to go away. Maybe even that it had been there all along, this insane attraction to his own brother. And yet answering that question seems so hard. He clears his throat nervously and tries to avoid answering it. “It doesn’t matter what either of us want right now. We need to get you back to your old self. No more drinking, fighting or fucking to try and make yourself feel better. We’re gonna try my way.”

“Which is?” Nathan humours him.

“Get on with your life.” Lucas replies. “Go to school, get a new job, talk to your friends and family…and accept that Haley’s gone.”

Nathan walks away and sits on the edge of the bed. He stares at his lap and then nods. “I never wanted any of it to go this far. I didn’t set out to do these things…they just kinda happened.”

“We all do stupid things.” Lucas tries to console him. “Remember my tattoo? Big mistake. And sleeping with Nikki…and cheating on Brooke…”

“Point taken.” Nathan agrees. “So what do I do first?”

“You get dressed. And you come to school with me.” Lucas tells him.

“It’s a school day?” Nathan turns and frowns at the clock. “Whoa, we’re late.”

“Yeah, we are.” Lucas smiles and swats Nathan’s shoulder. “So move it.”

“I never noticed how bossy you are.” Nathan comments as he pulls off his shirt and tosses it aside, pretending not to notice Lucas staring from the corner of his eye. “Is this a big brother thing?”

“I’m pulling rank.” Lucas answers with a smile. “And I’m also having the first shower.”

Nathan looks up and watches as Lucas begins to strip off. “We could just save time and…”

“The first step to recovery is admitting you’re a sex addict.” Lucas smirks, throwing his shirt at Nathan before slipping into the bathroom and locking the door.

Nathan mutters under his breath as he drops his boxers and kicks them to one side. Another look in the mirror and suddenly the bruise doesn’t look so bad. Nothing in his life does. Nathan Scott can actually see the light at the end of that tunnel.

*~*~*~*

After a warm reception from his friends, a bizarre hug from Tim and a not-so-warm welcome back from his teachers, Nathan finds it easier than expected to fall back into the daily routine of school life. He goes to practice at the end of the day and is disheartened to realise how badly his game has been affected by his behaviour and absence recently. But one look at Lucas and Nathan reminds himself this is why he’s here. Get things back to normal. And if there’s one thing Nathan Scott knows, it’s how to practice. He can thank his dad for that.

As they shower later on, Nathan makes a point of taking the shower next to Lucas. “Guess I got to share a shower with you after all.” He smirks.

Lucas looks around to see if anyone has heard, before shooting a warning glance at Nathan. “Not here! If anybody overhears…”

“Stop panicking, I was just messing with you.” Nathan grins. “You coming back to mine after?”

“I think I need to put in an appearance at Dan’s, let him know I still live there.” Lucas explains. “You should come too.”

Nathan snorts. “I’m trying really hard to stop drinking and fucking up my life, you think spending time with my dad is going to help?”

Lucas can’t argue with that one. “I’ll come over later.”

“Think you can trust me alone?” Nathan jokes. The truth behind the words, however, is obvious to both boys.

“You’ll be fine.” Lucas assures him. “You won’t have to wait long.”

“Will you make it worth my while if I’m a good boy?” Nathan grins, laughing as Lucas once again looks around for potential eavesdroppers.

“Nate, for fucks sake, stop doing that!” Lucas warns him, rolling his eyes as Nathan continues to find his embarrassment so amusing. “Remind me why I spend so much time with you?” He quickly predicts Nathan’s answer and cuts him off. “Don’t answer that.”

*~*~*~*

Despite the successful day at school, being alone in his apartment, even for a short while, brings back all those feelings that had driven Nathan to drink in the first place. He looks bitterly at the mess of pink paint on the wall and the urge to get wasted is back with a vengeance. Covering his face with his hands, he paces the living room, trying to talk himself out of it. The pain of the bruise is still there, reminding him of just one of his stupid mistakes. It’s all such a huge mess; everything in his live is going wrong. Why shouldn’t he just have a bit of fun?

Collapsing down on the couch, he takes out his cell and calls Lucas, needing to hear the one person in his life he can count on.

“Luke? It’s me.” Nathan begins, not knowing what else to say. “Uh, no, not really.” He replies when Lucas asks if he’s okay. “What time you gonna be here? Now? You don’t have to…you have better things to do than baby-sit me.” He smiles at Lucas’ response. “Okay. Thanks, man.” He hangs up and looks back at the wall painting, thoughtfully. After a quick decision, he stands up and grabs his key, leaving the apartment without another thought.

*~*~*~*

Lucas knocks on the door for the forth time, frowning when there’s still no answer. He goes to pull out his cell and call Nathan, but before he can press the button, his brother walks round the corner with a couple of carrier bags in each hand.

“Sorry, had to get some things.” Nathan explains, sheepishly, putting down a bag to retrieve his key.

Lucas looks suspiciously at the bag, trying to be subtle.

“It’s not booze if that’s what you’re thinking.” Nathan comments, opening the door. He grabs the bag and they both head inside. “I’m sorry I dragged you away from your father-son bonding or whatever, but I’m going stir crazy in here. Needed something to distract me.”

“So you brought…” Lucas watches as Nathan pulls out of tub of paint. “Paint? Okay, redecorating?”

“Something like that.” Nathan replies, throwing Lucas a brush. “Gonna help?”

“Don’t know…really isn’t in my baby-sitter job description.” Lucas jokes, pulling off his t-shirt.

“My mind is officially distracted.” Nathan grins.

“Don’t get excited, I just don’t want to get paint on my clothes.” Lucas explains.

Nathan nods, with fake agreement, as he takes his own shirt off. “Of course. Maybe we should just strip off completely…keep all our clothes clean.”

Lucas throws him a look and gestures at the pink monstrosity on the wall. “I take it we’re getting rid of this?”

Nathan looks at it with a mix of emotions. “Like you said…she’s not coming back. And every time I look at it…” He breaks off, not needing to say any more.

“Plus, it’s ugly.” Lucas adds, placing a hand on Nathan’s shoulder comfortingly.

“Yeah, don’t know what I was thinking.” Nathan laughs, opening the tin of paint. “Thanks for doing this.”

“What are brothers for?” Lucas asks, catching Nathan’s eye. They both look away, awkwardly, the question making them both uncomfortable.

“So…lets paint!” Nathan says quickly.

Relived, Lucas grabs the local paper from the kitchen counter and begins lying pieces down to cover the carpet below the painting. He tries not to notice Nathan looking at him, afraid of how things are escalating. Though neither of them can deny what they’re feeling, things haven’t gone too far yet. The moment they do, nothing will ever be the same again, that Lucas is sure of. And it terrifies him.

“You okay?” Nathan asks, seeing the look of confusion on the blond’s face. “Luke?”

“This is really happening.” Lucas says, almost too quietly for Nathan to hear.

“Huh?” Nathan kneels down beside him. “What’s happening?” When Lucas looks up at him, he knows exactly what’s happening. It’s that same look of fear and confusion…and desire…that he’s feeling. “We haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Yet.” Lucas murmurs.

“We don’t have to do anything. We can blame it on all the shit I put us through. Things are gonna get back to normal now, I’m trying…”

“You can blame it on the stuff you’ve been through. What’s my excuse?” Lucas drops his gaze. “It isn’t going away.”

“This is my fault.” Nathan tells him, guiltily.

“You didn’t make me want…this.” Lucas points out, barely above a whisper.

“So what if we just…give in?” Nathan dares to ask. Seeing Lucas upset is not a joke, it’s not making him think about sex or trying to hurt Haley. It’s making him upset too. And all he wants to do is lean down and kiss him. Make it all better. If only it were that easy.

“We’re not getting the painting done any faster…” Lucas says, suddenly, trying to stand while Nathan follows him to his feet. They’re close, possibly too close, once they’re both stood. Lucas is still confused and everything else that goes with it, but that’s nothing compared to the one thing really on his mind. “Nathan…”

He doesn’t have to say anything else. Nathan leans over and their lips meet in a kiss that annihilates every last protest left in either of them. The rush that comes from finally doing what they’d both been thinking about non-stop since that night in the bar is exhilarating and for a moment, it’s as if non of the obstacles that stand in their way exist. By the time they finally break free, they both know it’s too late.

They can never go back.

“I’m sorry if…” Nathan begins.

“My heart is pounding.” Lucas admits, breathlessly. “How is it possible I never realised how much I wanted to do that?”

Nathan relaxes and smiles. “This mean we get to do it again?”

“There’s so much we have to figure out…” Lucas starts, worry already beginning to cloud his mind.

“How about we figure it out tomorrow?” Nathan asks, leaning in to steal another kiss. He feels Lucas surrendering as they crash into the wall, warm skin pressing against warm skin, as their hands impatiently explore new territory. Nathan presses his crotch against Lucas’, sending a shiver down the smaller boy’s spine as he moans into the kiss. They completely lose themselves in each other, needing more with every passing second. No alcohol binge or meaningless fuck had ever made Nathan feel so good, he can hardly believe how alive he feels at this moment, as he sinks deeper into his brother’s embrace.

Lucas’ hand goes to undo the button of the other boy’s jeans, but Nathan promptly pulls away.

“Wait…” He starts, as the gap widens between them.

Lucas doesn’t quite understand, but quickly realises he’s tried to take things too far. “Sorry, I was just lost in the moment and…you don’t want that. I should have…I’m really sorry. I should go.”

Nathan reaches out to grab Lucas’ arm and pulls him back close. “It’s not that. I do want to! I just don’t want you to think you have to because you think I expect it. Before, with those other guys…”

Lucas is brought back to reality with a pain-inducing thud. “You used protection, right?”

“Of course! That’s not what I mean, though.” Nathan sighs. “I just want you to know this isn’t the same.”

Lucas finally understands. “Well, for a start you know my name.”

“Yeah, that’s always a good sign.” Nathan smiles. “I also care about you. A lot. Without you, I’d be lost.”

“I shouldn’t have rushed things. You’re still working things out.” Lucas says, softly. “It’s just…that kiss…”

“I know!” Nathan grins. “No idea how the hell I had the will power to stop.”

“I’m glad you did.” Lucas shoves him playfully. “This wall isn’t going to paint itself.”

Nathan looks at it and nods. “It could wait until tomorrow.”

Lucas looks confused. “It could?”

“I never said I wasn’t ready.” Nathan starts, playfully. “And I figure seeing as you seem so desperate to get into my pants…”

Lucas throws him a sarcastic look. “I’m trying really hard to be a good influence on you. We’re trying to stop using things like sex as a method of avoiding your problems, remember?”

“I’m not avoiding!” Nathan protests. “Just want you so bad it hurts.”

“Then it’ll have to hurt a little while longer.” Lucas states, with resolve. “You haven’t even got through one day yet. How about we wait until you’re doing better and if you still want this…”

Nathan groans. “Shoulda kept my mouth shut.”

“You take the roller, I’ll take the brush…we’ll be done in no time.” Lucas smiles, dipping the brush in the paint. He watches as Nathan relents and does as he’s told, joining in as they begin to erase Nathan’s masterpiece from existence.

*~*~*~*

With help from Lucas, Nathan’s whole attitude begins to resemble his old self. After a few days, he even manages to get through a whole day without his brother by his side. It’s an incredible turn around from his self-destructive phase and he knows that without Lucas, it just wouldn’t have been possible. It makes him love his brother that much more.

Despite their desire only strengthening as they spend almost every day with each other, they never let it go further than kissing. Some days it almost kills them not to, but there’s always the promise of the day Nathan is ready to let go of Haley and move on.

There’s no specific moment when Nathan realises he’s ready. Rather, the need to be with Lucas just begins to overwhelm his old feelings for his ex-wife. So when he finally has Lucas alone in his bedroom, he takes his opportunity and kisses him, guiding him down until they’re sitting on the bed.

“I want this.” Nathan explains, when Lucas breaks away as if unsure this is a good idea. “I don’t want to stop anymore.”

Lucas can see the resolve in Nathan’s eyes. It’s all he needs to know. “Okay.”

They continue kissing while Nathan slips his hand down from Lucas’ chest and lets it rest on the other boy’s thigh. Lucas’ cock begins to harden at the proximity, so Nathan eagerly accepts the invitation and begins rubbing against the denim-clad erection, breaking the kiss so he can see the look on the blond’s face. Barely restrained, Lucas bites his lip to keep from moaning, his hips tilting into the caress. He doesn’t move a muscle when Nathan slowly unzips his pants and slides a hand inside. But once the fingers begin to wrap around his cock, he tenses.

“You okay?” Nathan asks him, worriedly.

“Don’t stop.” Lucas begs. “Just don’t want to come too soon.”

Nathan smiles and withdraws his hand, ignoring Lucas’ look of indignation. He reaches over and pulls at the waistband of Lucas’ jeans, pulling them down as the other boy lifts himself up slightly to help. After being stripped of his jeans and underwear, Lucas takes it upon himself to pull his shirt off, throwing it aside, before leaning over to Nathan and helping him do the same.

“Can’t believe we’re about to do this…” Nathan admits, yanking his pants off. “Don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life.”

“You’re nervous?!” Lucas scoffs. “It’s not your first time.”

“It is with you.” Nathan argues with a smile. “You still want this?”

Lucas nods. “More than anything.”

Nathan leans over to retrieve condoms and lube before holding a rubber up. “Got a preference?”

Lucas just looks at him blankly.

“Maybe it’d be better if you did me. Your first time will probably hurt. Don’t want to put you off or anything.” Nathan suggests.

“You’re not gonna put me off.” Lucas argues. “But you’re probably right. Our first time together is gonna be better if we’re not worrying about hurting me.” He frowns, suddenly realising. “I won’t hurt you, right?”

Nathan smirks and passes him the condom. “Might be my first time doing this sober, but I think I can handle it. Need some help?”

Lucas raises his eyebrow, sarcastically. “I have put one of these on before, you know. I’m not a complete virgin.”

“I know! Just trying to be helpful.” Nathan grins. “You want to use the lube? It’ll probably make things easier for you.”

“And a lot less painful for you.” Lucas points out, grabbing the lube and covering his fingers.

Nathan shrugs. “It’s not like I ever really used it before.”

Lucas wraps his arms round Nathan’s neck and kisses him lightly. “I don’t want to hurt you. Ever. Okay?”

Nathan smiles, playfully. “Well you better hurry up and fuck me then, ‘cause my dick’s so hard it hurts.”

Lucas pushes Nathan down onto the bed, moves in between the younger boy’s legs and gently slides a lubed up finger inside him. He watches as Nathan’s whole body trembles with each movement, increasing as he adds another finger. He uses his free hand to slowly jerk Nathan off, speeding up as he gradually adds a third finger.

“Fuck.” Nathan mutters under his breath, starting to lose control as the pleasure builds inside him. “Luke, I’m ready…just do it. Need you inside me.”

Lucas is more than happy to oblige, his own erection desperate for relief. After withdrawing his fingers, he presses his cock against Nathan’s entrance, pushing past the resistance until he buries himself deep inside his brother. Neither boy can stop the moans that follow as the feeling overpowers them both. Lucas checks for signs of pain on Nathan’s face, but finds only a desperate need for more. He starts to build up a slow pace; gaining speed as his confidence that he’s not hurting Nathan grows. Every movement seems to increase in intensity, until it’s a seemingly endless wave of euphoria that promises an earth-shattering finale.

“Shit, I’m so close, fuck me harder…want all of you inside me.” Nathan manages to moan as Lucas continues to bring him closer to completion. His back arches as the pleasure becomes too much, the orgasm hits and his whole body screams out with electrified ecstasy.

Lucas milks every last drop of cum from Nathan as his own cock prepares for his impending orgasm. Just the sight of Nathan so flushed with desire and covered in his own cum is enough to tip Lucas over the edge. He drives into Nathan one last time before he comes so hard he can barely stay upright.

“God, that was fucking amazing.” Lucas whispers, collapsing down beside his brother. “I love you, you know that, right?”

Nathan looks over at him, his whole body singing with the lingering afterglow of his orgasm. He leans over to kiss Lucas softly, unable to say the words back, but meaning them anyway.

Lucas understands. He knows Nathan’s been hurt by Haley, that he can’t give his heart away so easily anymore. It’s the one thing Lucas knows he can’t fix, no matter how hard he tries. “I think it’s fair to say we’ve crossed the line.”

“Don’t care.” Nathan replies. “It’s all worth it. I don’t care if anyone finds out. They can go to hell.”

Lucas chuckles, not sure he’s as unconcerned about their relationship becoming public knowledge…but it’s good to know Nathan cares. “As much as I love you, being ostracised and facing a possible jail sentence is taking things a tad far, don’t you think?”

“You worry too much.” Nathan chastises as he moves to lean over Lucas. “And I need a shower.”

Lucas looks down to where Nathan’s chest is pressing against his own, Nathan’s cum smearing across his skin. “And now, so do I.”

“That’s the plan.” Nathan grins, climbing off the bed. “You coming?”

Lucas watches Nathan head out to the bathroom, a content smile on his face. He can’t believe how far they’ve come and just how natural this feels to both of them. And now they’re here, he can’t imagine ever going back to the way things were before.

He jumps off the bed and follows Nathan into the bathroom, positive that despite the multitude of obstacles before them, they’re going to be fine.

End.