Condemned to be Free

Warnings: Rape aftermath, violence
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Dean has been brutally raped by two men and now needs to try and survive the aftermath.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never will be.

Sam stayed with Dean until he passed out. He had wanted to take him to the hospital right away, but he knew that he'd be no good to Dean in jail. He secured his gun in the back of his jeans and then broke into the old factory, pleased to find that it was actually an old slaughterhouse.

He grabbed one of the meat hooks off of a rusty shelf and headed back out. It hadn't taken him too long, but it had been long enough. He apparently didn't have an aim as good as he thought. One of the men was missing. The one who had been rutting into his brother when he had arrived was definitely dead, but the other one must have just been grazed. He sighed, knowing that he didn't have time to track him down now.

It didn't take him long to drag the one body into the building and dump it in the vat of rancid water that had collected in one of the large drums from a hole in the roof and a few too many rainstorms.

By the time he got back to Dean again he had noticed that there was blood soaking the seat of his pants. He mentally kicked himself. He hadn't even thought of the physical repurcussions and carefully loaded Dean into the car, making sure to put his jacket down first on the seat. After all, eventually Dean would be back to his old self and he'd be pissed to find blood all over his car.

At least that's the thought Sam held on to just to make himself believe his brother would be okay.

Sam sat in the car, debating what to do and finally decided that he had to get to a hospital. Dean was going to kill him...

It took an hour, but he found a hospital far enough out of town that would manage to have good care. The other places he passed were no better than clinics.

Dean had started to stir and kept moaning that he was hurting and Sam nearly bent the steering wheel because he was gripping it so tight. He hadn't allowed himself to think about what had actually happened to Dean.

He wanted to ask him why he didn't fight harder. He couldn't believe that Dean hadn't been able to take on those guys. As soon as the thought entered his head, he hated himself. He had seen the lost look in Dean's eyes. There was no way Dean would have let anyone do that to him. If Dean couldn't have fought them off, nobody could have.

Sam thought back to the time Jess had volunteered at a rape crisis center and the things she talked to Sam about. Rape was a crime of violence. Nobody asked for it and nobody deserved it and he had come to the conclusion he was a total asshole for thinking what he had thought.

He parked in the emergency lot and helped Dean from the car, making sure to put his gun in the glove compartment. He was barely out of the car when he felt someone taking Dean away from him. He looked up and saw that a couple of paramedics who were getting ready to leave had seen them and had come over when they realized that Dean wasn't conscious.

The first paramedic was older, easily in his early 50's with silver hair mixing in evenly with his black hair from his youth. "Son? Can you hear me?"

"His name is Dean." Sam didn't want anyone calling his brother 'son' at this point. If Dean was delirious who knew what he would say if he thought their father was there with them.

The second paramedic looked to be about Dean's age and was dark complected. Sam trusted him instantly as he trained his sympathetic chocolate brown eyes on him. "What happened?"

Sam shook his head. "I'm not sure." He hated lying to him for some reason, but he felt he had to for Dean's sake. "I found him this way."

"Shit, Lance!" The older man yelled to get the younger men's attention and pulled a gloved hand from Dean to show it was covered in blood. Immediately the two paramedics were on the move, carrying him together and getting him into the ER. The nurse came forward only to have something whispered to her from the older man.

She quickly got a wheelchair and they wheeled right past the triage area and into a large private room. She closed the door and told the paramedics to stay with him while she found the doctor on call.

Sam stayed out of the way while the paramedics checked Dean over for other injuries. They began cutting away his clothes and Sam could only avert his eyes. Dean is going to bitch about his clothes being destroyed. I have some in the car. I grabbed our stuff so we should be okay... The pointless thoughts filling his head distracted him from the pained cries of his brother who had woken up just in time to feel the cool air hit his genitals and bring him back to the idea that he was exposed.

"Sir, my name is Lance. I'm a paramedic and you're hurt. I want you to tell me where you're feeling pain right now."

Dean choked out the word, 'everywhere', and then just panted through the pain. His eyes opened wide and he seemed to be struggling against his own breath, unsure of whether breathing made him feel better or worse.

Sam continued to stare at the floor, vaguely aware that someone was talking to him. It took a good shake before he looked up. "What?"

The older paramedic frowned. "Lance is working with Dean to keep him calm. He's got some bad injuries. I need some answers from you."

"What do you want to know?" Please stop moaning, Dean. I can't listen to this anymore. He looked around and saw that there was a couch in the unusually large room. "Where are we anyway?"

"The sexual assault room."

Sam never even felt it coming. He just turned and threw up. He felt the medic's hands on his back and heard soothing words, but he couldn't understand what was being said past the blood rushing in his ears. Finally he sat up and frowned at the mess. "Sorry."

"It's shock. It's alright." He held out a glass of water to Sam which he accepted gratefully. "Now, let's start with your name."

"Sam."

"Okay, and how do you know Dean?"

"He's my brother." Just saying the words forced the tears that had been wanting to fall from Sam's eyes. Everything came to him quickly. His brother had been alone. He had been raped and scared and calling for him. Sam tried to imagine what he had felt like in those moments. The intimacy of that time with total strangers. Dean was alone and outnumbered and terrified and knew there was no way out. The thoughts began to smother him and he felt ashamed. He wasn't even the one that went through it and he was falling apart with the mere idea of it.

The door opened and he looked past the sympathetic look of the medic to the two men who had just entered. The younger of the two men looked at the medic with Sam. "Paul? What happened?"

The medic stood. "This is Sam. He's the brother of the patient, Dean. We haven't gotten the last name yet..."

Sam stood up as well, not liking the fact he was being talked about. "Win-" Sam frowned. "Gate. Wingate."

The older man nodded with understanding and wrote the name down on the chart. The two medics left and the younger man walked over to where Dean was lying. Dean had passed out again and it made it easier to check him over. A curtain was pulled and Sam found that he was alone, listening the whispers of the men on the other side. The images flooded to him again. Two men doing things to his brother that nobody had the right to force on anyone while Sam stood by helpless. It was just what he was doing now...

Sam jumped up and stood near the curtain. "I want to come in."

The older man stuck his head around the curtain. "Mr. Wingate, you need to sit down and I'll be with you in a moment."

"No, you don't understand. He needs me."

"He's not even awake right now..."

"SAM!" Dean's scream made the nurse jump and turn around. Sam heard the struggling and pushed past the man to get to his brother.

"Dean...I'm here, Dean." What he saw made him sick.

Dean was on his side with the blanket barely covering him. It had slipped down to below his naval and he was struggling with the doctor who was trying to examine him. The sight instantly kicked Sam's instincts into high gear. "Get away from him!"

His fist connected with the doctor's jaw and he flew backwards and hit the wall. Sam would have done more damage, but Dean grabbed onto him and buried his head in his jacket, whimpering the whole time.

Sam let more tears fall as he wrapped his arms around Dean. "I'm sorry, Dean. I'm so sorry."

The older man, the nurse, rushed to the doctor's side. "Dr. Stewart! Are you alright? I'm calling security."

"No, it's alright, Phillip. I shouldn't have tried to examine him without someone here for him."

Nobody noticed the new occupant of the room. A woman in her 50's and with a stern look on her face stood so that she couldn't see Dean and Sam, but so the doctor could see her. "You're right about that, Dr. Stewart. A word, please?"

When the two left, Phillip walked to the other side of the bed. "Mr. Wingate...Dean...we need to examine you, okay? I know that you're upset, but maybe your brother can stay with you, alright?"

Dean didn't say a word, but just held onto Sam.

Dr. Stewart walked back in looking a tad bit paler and opened the curtain so that everyone would have more room. "Dean? This is Paula. She's a..."

"Thank you, doctor..." She glared at him and at Phillip who quickly went to get some things for the exam. She then turned a very kind face to Sam. "I'm Paula. I'm with the local rape crisis center. I'm here to help."

Sam forced himself not to laugh. How many times had he told people 'I'm here to help.' And were you sincere?...Every time. He nodded toward her and stuck out a free hand. "I'm Sam and this is my brother, Dean."

Paula sat down in a chair at the foot of the bed. "Dean? I know you're scared right now, but I promise that Sam isn't going anywhere, alright? I need to talk to you about some things, though. And I need to talk to Sam since I'm guessing he'll be looking out for you when you leave."

"Make them stop..." The muffled cry startled Sam and he pushed Dean back enough to lean down so he was face to face with Dean. "It's over, Dean. You're safe now."

Dean shook his head. "Make them stop saying your name...." His eyes related all the fear and horror that Sam had tried so hard to deny, but at that moment everything that he had heard and seen clicked together.

"Oh God..." Sam leapt up and ran out the door to take a few deep breaths. He looked back at the door and shook his head. "I can't..." He started walking down the hall, away from Dean and away from the sickening thoughts in his head. I killed him too fast...and one is still out there.

He didn't know how long he was out there, but when he saw the two officers start coming his way he panicked. They found the body.... He was about to bolt when Dr. Stewart opened the door in front of him, making Sam realize he had done nothing but walked in one large circle.

"Mr. Wingate, he needs you. Please come back in."

Sam sighed. He didn't care if he was arrested. He'd have to be there for Dean as long as he could. He walked in to see that Phillip was looking frustrated and Paula was about to hit someone. "What's going on?"

Paula smiled. "They need to draw some blood to make sure this wasn't a drug fascillitated sexual assault. You'll hear that referred to as a DFSA, alright? Now I've explained to Dean and I'll explain it to you...Dean doesn't have to do any of this, but the state will pay for the exam and the collection of the rape kit.

The words 'rape kit' started bouncing around in Sam's brain. "This isn't happening."

Paula frowned and put her hand on Sam's arm. "I know this is hard, but it is happening. I can call in one of my colleagues if you need someone with you while-"

"No, I just...there were cops out there."

"Yes, that's standard procedure. They'll want a statement."

"Just make them stay out for now, okay?"

"Of course. If that's what Dean wants." She walked away and over with Dean again. He was just lying on the table staring up at the ceiling.

Sam leaned down to him. "Dean? They have to take your blood." He glanced up as Phillip came over with the needle, since they weren't allowing anyone else in the room at the moment.

Dean just continued to stare, but Sam could see that his eyes were getting wet with unshed tears. He didn't know what Dean was seeing in those ceiling tiles, but it was obviously causing him pain and he couldn't handle that anymore. "Dean...look at me!"

He saw Dean's eyes shift and finally he saw that Dean was still terrified. Sam fought the urge to scream at the indignity of it all and smiled. "Hey, bro...nice to see you're still with me. You're not afraid of a little needle, are you?" He smirked. "You need to hold my hand?"

A flash of stubborn pride crossed Dean's face and then Dean turned to glare at Phillip. The nurse was unsettled for a moment. "Uh...just hold still..." He stuck the needle in easily and filled up a few different tubes. Dean just continued to stare at the man until he pulled the needle out and walked away. Then he looked back at his brother.

"You brought me to a hospital." He lifted his arm to see the IV set up that was obviously put in when he was asleep.

"Yeah, but you were hurt bad."

"That doesn't matter."

"Mr. Wingate..." Dr. Stewart came over to the bed under the watchful eye of Paula. "I'm Dr. Stewart. You lost a lot of blood from what we could tell so I started you on a standard saline drip for now until we prepare to administer some antibiotics. I need to make sure the bleeding stopped completely and that we treat you for possible infection." As if on cue, Phillip came over with a small paper cup filled with pills.

Dean looked at the cup and frowned. "Why so much?"

The doctor began running down the long list of diseases and Dean became more pale as each one was named. When the doctor mentioned the morning after pill for prevention of pregnancy, Sam exploded. "Enough! You and your official bullshit can go to hell! He's a man! He can't get pregnant you stupid fuck, but maybe you need to remember that he can be raped and was, in fact, raped. You're treating him like shit because he doesn't have breasts and I'm fucking sick of it! I want a new doctor!..AND a new fucking nurse!"

Paula smiled, that being all she had to hear to be thrown into action. She escorted the two men out of the room and walked down to the nurse's desk where she found a hard ass nurse named Betsy and an older male doctor to accompany her back to the room. She smiled at Sam and Dean. "This is Betsy. She's seen it all and she'll be honest with you, okay?" She motioned to the doctor. "This is Dr. Martin..."

The doctor interrupted. "Call me Zack. We're going to dispense with formalities right now, alright?" He smiled at Paula. "Thanks, Paula." He looked at the chart. "Okay, the blood has been taken. That's good. I want to bring the police in. They won't see you, but I'd like it if they sit and listen in on our conversation so they can get everything in their report so your dealings with them will be at a minimal, alright?"

Dean nodded, already feeling more at ease. Sam was about to protest, but remembered that he had to let Dean decide for himself. He was the...victim. Sam almost choked just thinking of Dean that way.

Betsy went to get the officers and Sam heard her give them instructions that they were to listen and keep their mouths shut. Sam was grateful that she was there. Paula decided she wasn't needed any longer and gave Sam a list of places to go for anonymous HIV testing and also a list of other professionals in the area. Then she gave them an application for funding for victims of violent crime so that they could try and get anything paid for that the state didn't automatically take care of.

Finally, she gave them her card with a cell number on it. "Anytime, okay?" She left the boys in what she knew were capable hands with some last minute advice. "You can refuse any part of the exam, Dean. Don't think that saying no to part of it means you can't still do the rest, okay?"

Sam frowned, wishing she were still there. He knew that Dean thought he'd be fine with him there, but Sam was more concerned that he wasn't good enough to be Dean's support system.

Zack frowned at the chart. "He tried to give you some weird stuff. Here, let me explain." He went through the medication list again, making sure to omit the birth control and told Dean why it was important to take all of them. "You may find that your stomach doesn't appreciate all this medicine at once. Just tell me as soon as you feel nauseous, okay?"

Dean took the medicine and some water from Betsy and then just sighed as if it was a mountainous task to take on. Betsy helped Dean to get more comfortable by fluffing his pillow and bringing in a thicker blanket fresh out of the dryer. "Here, it's warm. You just try and relax while we get ready."

Dean closed his eyes for a few moments, but then they snapped open. It was as if he'd suddenly joined back with his body. "Where are my clothes?"

Sam frowned. "The medics had to cut them off of you. They didn't know where you were injured....there was blood and..."

Zack came back to the bed. "We've bagged your clothes for the police, minus any personal items." He put Dean's wallet down on the bedside table and dropped a chain with a charm on it down next to it.

Dean automatically reached up to his neck, wondering why it wasn't where it was supposed to be. Sam supplied the answer. "I saw it on the ground. I guess it got, um...I guess it got ripped off. I shoved it in your jacket pocket so it would still be near you."

Dean nodded quietly, probably remembering exactly when it got ripped off. Sam mentally kicked himself for the tenth time that night at least.

Zack looked at Sam sadly. "You might want to step behind the curtain. Dean, we need to take some pictures to document the injuries."

Dean just nodded again and sat up. "He can stay. He's seen everything anyway."

Betsy helped Dean stand and kept the sheet around him. "Okay, hold onto me..."

The pictures were taken and Sam kept his eyes to the ground the whole time. At one point he heard Betsy tell him to bend over and he almost puked again. He managed to hold it in and continued to keep his eyes turned. Once he could tell that Dean was settled on the bed again, he looked up. Dean looked so detatched from himself and just stared at the damn ceiling again.

Betsy then told Dean that she would comb his pubic hairs and Dean just nodded again and stared into nothingness. That didn't take long and Sam was grateful to have some worthless piece of art hanging on the wall for him to analyze.

She swabbed some blood off of Dean's thighs and then cut a few pubic hairs from his body. Then she swabbed his mouth. "Dean, I need to know if there was any genital oral contact."

Sam's eyes widened and he continued to stare at the painting.

Dean just shook his head. "No, but..." He shuddered and grabbed Sam's hand.

Sam looked down at Dean and realized that he was being a shitty support person. Get it together, fucker. Fall apart later and be there for your brother. "Dean, I'm right here. You need to tell the nurse what happened."

Dean nodded and then looked at Betsy again. "The one guy...he licked my lips. He said..." He choked back a sob. "He said I had a, uh...'pretty little mouth'." He pulled his hand away from Sam and wrapped his arms around himself. "Then he kissed me."

Betsy looked at Dean's face. "Is that how you got those bruises on your cheeks?"

Dean sighed. "He didn't want me to bite so he used his fingers to hold my jaw open. Then he said that he wouldn't wait for...I don't know, but after that he just...did it."

Betsy nodded and took Dean's hand. "I need some fingernail scrapings, Dean. Do you remember scratching them at all?"

"I fought. I fought really hard." He whimpered and closed his eyes. "I can fight usually, but something was off. I didn't feel right." His eyes opened again. "I'm going to be sick."

Betsy moved his pillow so he was lying flat and got some gingerale from the fridge nearby and then let him sip it. "Deep breaths, Dean. It's going to be alright." She handed the glass to Sam and took the fingernail scrapings just as Zack came back in.

"Ketamine. That was found in your system and it shouldn't have been there."

"What's ketamine?" Sam had heard of it, but he wasn't sure where.

"Unlike most drugs used for rape, it's not illegal. It's generally used as an anasthetic and I'm guessing that some was slipped to your brother. I'm also guessing it wasn't very much from the levels we found. And he's not exhibiting as many symptoms as we'd expect from a good dose of this."

"So you think it's someone that works at a medical facility?" Sam couldn't imagine one of those jerks being in a hospital, but anything was possible.

"No, ketamine is usually used on animals. Veterinary clinics are robbed all the time for ketamine."

Dean shrugged. "So why do you know that I wasn't given a lot besides the levels?"

"Well, let's go through the symptoms. Hallucinations..."

"No."

"Lost sense of time and identity."

"Yeah, I think more time passed than I thought, but I'm not sure."

"Distorted perceptions of sight or sound."

"No."

"Feeling out of control."

"Not really...but...I guess maybe inside I felt out of control. My emotions were jumbled. I didn't even fight back with words. I couldn't. I just...felt like a kid and I cried and..."

Zack smiled kindly. "It's alright. Nobody is challenging the fact that you can take care of yourself. This person obviously didn't have any intention of fighting with you since they used the drug."

Betsy spoke up at that point. "Mr. Wingate mentioned something earlier. Sir, was there more than one person?"

Dean nodded. "Two guys."

Zack frowned. "Okay...let's keep going. Impaired motor function."

"Yeah, everything felt sluggish."

"Problems breathing."

"I just thought that was from what was happening."

"Convulsions or vomiting? Out of body experiences? Memory problems?"

"No, no, no, and definitely no. I remember everything about it. I wish I did have memory problems, though."

"Dream-like feeling?"

"It felt all too real."

"Numbness. Lack of coordination."

"I couldn't hold onto my keys. I couldn't seem to figure out how to fight. That makes sense I suppose."

"Aggressive or violent behavior? Slurred speech?"

Sam smirked. "Dean? Aggressive and violent? Never..."

Zack smiled back. "But not tonight?"

"No, and I could talk fine. They made me...they made me say things."

Zack nodded quietly. "No rush, Dean. Now...did you urinate or shower since the rape?"

"No."

"We need a hair sample from your head, alright?"

Dean nodded and winced when the few hairs were pulled from the side of his scalp.

"One more exam, Dean. It's probably the most important one. But first some questions. We already know that there was kissing. There was no oral sex on them or by them?"

"No. Just...what they did."

"Anal?"

He nodded. "They used condoms."

Zack's eyes widened in shock. "Really...that's not normally what I hear in this line of work."

"They had their reasons." Dean closed his eyes, remembering. "He couldn't...He couldn't do it and he said it had lube built in. It didn't help." Tears started falling from behind his lashes. "And then there was so much blood that the second guy didn't want to take any chances."

Zack looked at Sam with a look of horror at what Dean had been made to endure. "Dean, what else do you remember? You mentioned they made you say something. Was it something that could help us identify them?"

Dean just sobbed once loudly and then shoved his fist into his mouth, shaking his head. After a moment he took a deep breath. "One of them was named Mark. He was the one holding me in the car. And he went last..."

"Okay, that's good Dean. You remembered a lot. Did they both rape you one time?"

"Yeah, Mark finished just when my brother showed up and..." Dean remembered the popping sounds. "...he scared them off, but..."

Sam knew he had to step in because Dean was too distraught to figure out how to lie well at the moment. "He had a gun to his head."

"The one named Mark?"

"I guess. I'm not sure of their names."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it was Mark. The other one was holding me...cradling me while Mark...did that. And...I don't know...it just...I didn't mean..."

Zack leaned down and took a deep breath. "Did you become physically aroused at any time during your attack?"

Dean looked Zack in the eyes and saw only sympathy and understanding. "Yeah, not when the first guy was with me. That was all pain. But the second one was smaller I guess and...I don't know what happened. I've never done that. I mean...I'm not gay..."

Zack shook his head. "It's okay..." He quickly explained the prostate to his patient and how he wouldn't have been able to fight against the erection.

Sam wanted to hug Zack. The look of total relaxation that came over Dean's face made both men smile. A weight had been lifted off of Dean's shoulders and he was so grateful that he had it explained to him as well. He remembered hearing the one man tease Dean about being aroused and was happy that it had been explained to Dean's satisfaction.

"What about the other man. What was his name?"

Dean felt his throat tighten and looked at Sam, pleading with him. Sam, of course, already had figured out what the problem was and frowned at Zack. "His name was Sam. He was making him say his name over and over. Obviously...because that's my name it really fucked with Dean's head."

Dean listened to his brother's explanation and inwardly cursed himself for being an emotional wreck. "I'm sitting here crying...this isn't normal."

Sam smirked. "Dean, you've never been normal."

Dean threw his hand out and hit Sam in the arm, thankful for the moment of levity. "Shut up, smartass." He studied Zack and Betsy. They both looked uncomfortable. "It's okay. This is just how we are..." When they didn't lighten up, he forced himself to sit up a bit and winced. "What is it? You're freaking me out."

Zack shook his head. "Nothing. I'm glad to see that you're acting a bit more like yourself. Rape doesn't change a personality. It just hides it once in awhile. I want you to be prepared for the fact that you might go back and forth for some time. Emotional sometimes and more like yourself at other times. This just shows that the medication is also wearing off. I won't be keeping you overnight unless...Dean, we have to do an examination."

"I thought that's what you were doing."

"Of the worst injury, Dean."

"No. Paula said I could say no."

"Dean, you were hurt so badly. You could have an infection or..."

"No!"

Sam took Dean's hand and squeezed tight. "Please Dean? If you get sick I won't be able to take care of you as well. I'm already scared..."

Dean frowned and weighed his options. "You'll stay with me? Talk to me?"

"Yeah, bro..anything."

The nurse helped to arrange Dean comfortably and Sam looked at Betsy. "Get the cops out of here. They've heard enough."

Betsy nodded and motioned the officers to leave after asking them if they needed anything else. They had almost everything so they just chose to leave their card for Dean or Sam to call with more information. She came back in and continued to help get Dean prepared. "They said that the prosecutor will want to go for a Class A Felony easy."

Sam gasped. "But they'll plea bargain..."

"No, our DA doesn't plea on rape cases generally. He's pretty rough with these monsters. I just have to ask you a few questions so that they can see what we did on the form, although we already have it categorized. You're of legal age, correct?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah."

"Okay, so that rules out statutory rape. These men were not blood relatives?"

"No."

"Not incest rape. What about meeting them somewhere. I mean...were you planning on going with them to a social situation that, in some cases, may end in sexual intercourse?"

"No, I met them at a bar. I just wanted to play some pool."

"Not date rape. And you just said you didn't know them, right?"

"Right."

"Okay, so I have forcible stranger gang rape for the category." He sighed. "I'm sorry. It's just something that we ask for the police to narrow things down so you don't have to deal with it later. Now...let's get this exam done."

Dean was on his side and wasn't really listening to them talking anymore. The words 'gang rape' kind of shut him down again. He knew the sheet was covering him at the moment, but when it was removed he was worried he'd panic. Betsy was helping him hold his legs up closer to his chest so he could let the doctor see what he needed to.

Betsy motioned for Sam to move so he could be face to face with Dean, but Dean's eyes had closed tightly.

"Okay Dean. Your brother is next to you. I'm going to get this exam done and trust him to hold you steady up there. Betsy and I are going to help you out down here. I know that you might get scared and that's okay. We're just going to keep going. It will be easier for you that way." He pulled the stool over and adjusted the light and pulled down his goggles that helped him to magnify what he was seeing. Betsy had all of the instruments arranged in case the damage was worse than they feared.

Sam pulled a chair over and sat so he was eye level with Dean if he opened his eyes. He was grateful that he was sitting here and not where he could see what Zack was about to look at. He knew from the blood that it would be a mess. He remembered his first time with a man. It had been gentle and they had both enjoyed each other. Yes, there had been pain, but it helped that his partner had been so caring and kind. The thought of what it would have felt like if he had been taken quickly with no preparation and with no care as to his screams made him flinch.

Zack pushed the sheet up and Dean had a tight hold on Sam's hand right away. He closed his eyes as Zack pressed lightly around Dean's penis and finally examined him more closely. With a satisfied nod that there was no trauma to that area, he moved to Dean's rectum. The tearing was brutal and very visible. He used the swab to get any evidence that he could. He had seen Dean's legs tremble and knew that the treatment of the wounds would really be difficult.

"Dean, this is going to be difficult for you. I'm going to check the injuries inside of the rectum and treat you." He looked to Betsy and she readied herself by holding onto Dean's knees and then threw a look to Sam who leaned forward and used his free hand to hold onto Dean's shoulder. Zack took a deep breath and inserted his gloved finger into Dean's bloody opening, looking for all of the tears.

Dean instantly tensed and Betsy frowned. "Dean...you have to relax. It's going to hurt more if you don't..."

Dean just shook his head and squeezed Sam's hand tighter. He let out one quick scream and tightened up more. Blood began to flow once more. Zack cursed. "Fuck..." He knew that he couldn't wait because of the concern of massive bleeding and pushed his way inside. "I'm sorry, Dean, but you're bleeding again."

Dean's eyes went wide and he tried to kick, but Betsy was holding his legs and was too used to this to let go. He turned his head to Sam. "Make it stop! Please...don't let them do this to me! Please!" He began to breathe way too fast and tried to straighten his body.

Sam just concentrated on holding him down by his shoulders after he disengaged his hand from Dean's grip and looked down on him. "Dean, it's okay. I love you so much. I'm sorry that I couldn't stop this. I'm so sorry. Look at me, though, okay? I'm right here."

Dean was trying to focus on his brother. He wanted to tell him that he had nothing to be sorry for, but all he could feel was the sensation of penetration and his eyes began to roll back into his head.

Sam gasped. "Something's wrong!"

Zack stood up and yelled an order to Betsy. She ran to a cart and came back with a syringe, jamming it into the IV. Dean immediately calmed down and went limp. Zack frowned. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to that. I hate taking control away like that, especially with a DFSA, but he was hurting himself more. Betsy, monitor his respiration."

Sam stepped back so the doctor and nurse could finish up.

Zack continued the exam and treated the wounds quickly, angry at how bad it had been. "Alright. When he wakes up you can take him home. Just call in tomorrow." He wrote something out on a pad. "These are for pain." He wrote out another prescription. "These are just to make sure that no infection sets in. I administered a strong dose of antibiotics here, but he'll need something for awhile longer. He can shower, but don't let him soak in a tub or anything like that. Call if he starts bleeding again. If he starts bleeding after a bowel movement and it doesn't stop within 30 minutes or if it's heavy then bring him back in, okay?"

Sam nodded, too overcome by the past few moments to speak.

Zack just sighed. "Sam, you might not believe it, but you did great."

Zack and Betsy cleaned up and left, only returning to drop off some scrubs for Dean to wear home and to take out the IV.

Sam just sat there and stared at his brother who was not totally asleep, but not really awake either. He just listened to his brother talk.

"Sammy...Sammy...."

Hearing only terror in his voice, Sam finally allowed himself to weep.

TBC...