Frozen Hearts

DISCLAIMER: See chapter 1.


SPOILERS: None.


A/N: Reviews wouldn't hurt, you know. :D


CHAPTER 2


I could see the question in her blue eyes. She did not understand what I was doing - or why I was doing it. I gave her a small smile and removed my hand from her warm cheek, still steadily meeting her eyes with my own. I could see the exact moment when she realized why I had come. Yes, she saw it in my eyes - the way I knew she would.
A whisper - "Mulder."
A plea - "Scully."


Suddenly, she stood up and fled from the kitchen. I followed her to the living room and watched as she sat down on the sofa. After a couple of seconds, she met my gaze and indicated me to sit down next to her. I did as she asked me to do - I always did.
"Why did you come?" she asked then, staring at the carpet. I could feel her confusion in her voice.
"You know why I came."
She sighed. "But why now, Mulder?"


An image of Sammy Miles flashed in front of my eyes as I heard the question. Had I met Sammy a few years ago, I would not have hesitated the way I did today. She was exactly the woman I had thought I'd marry - a tall, blonde Ph.D. Yet, there was room for only a certain petite, redhead M.D. in my heart. And she was sitting right next to me. I knew it now.


"Mulder?"
"Because I am sick of all of it, Scully. Sick of having to hide my feelings. Sick of having to be afraid."
She did not answer, so I continued.
"Four years, Scully. Don't tell me that you don't feel what I feel."
"Mulder..."
She still refused to meet my eye, so I reached my hand to touch her cheek and gently turned her head, forcing her to face me.
"The truth, Scully. Tell me the truth."


We stared at each other for God knows how long, neither of us willing to give in, neither of us daring to break the silence. I knew that see was trying to see something in my eyes. I knew I wanted her to see it there. I knew that she could see it there if it was love she was looking for. At some point, I finally realized that my hand was still on her cheek, the fingers absently caressing the soft, warm skin. It was then that I blinked and lowered my gaze. I was about to draw my hand away when I felt her small, cool hand cover it. My eyes darted back up, meeting hers again.
"Mulder."


No more. Two syllables. Those two syllables and the look in her eyes were all the encouragement I needed.


Slowly, as if afraid of frightening her, I leaned closer to her, gently brushing my lips against hers. She did not flinch. She did not breathe. Her eyes fluttered closed and she let out a shaky sigh before her hand found its way into my hair, pulling me closer. Our lips collided full force. She was paying extra attention to my lower lip, the one that I had seen her watching so intently. It did not really surprise me, when she placed her hands on my chest and pushed me to my back, straddling me, never breaking our kiss.


Finally, we pulled apart ever so slightly, both panting. Our eyes locked and I felt the goofiest of smiles spread on my face.
"What just happened?" she asked with husky voice, never breaking the eye contact.
"I think that is what they call 'a kiss'," I answered matter-of-factly.
"No shit, Sherlock," she muttered with a gentle smile. Then she leaned closer to me, closing the distance in between us and rested her head against my chest.


We lay there for a couple of minutes, simply drawing strength from each other. My other hand caressed the silky auburn strands as her other hand drew lazy patterns on the fabric of my shirt. Finally, she lifted her face ever so slightly and shot me a smile that almost made my heart stop - at least skip a couple of beats.
"You just kissed me, Mulder."
"Yeah, I noticed that. And you kissed me back, Scully."
She smiled again and touched the corner of my mouth with her lips. I tried to turn my head and catch her lips with mine but she would not allow me. Instead, she showered my face with phantom kisses, slowly driving me crazy. Finally, I took her face firmly between my hands, gave her a feral look and kissed her with all I got. I was quickly becoming almost painfully aware of the fact that she was still straddling my hips. As if she had read my mind, she grounded her hips against mine, never breaking the kiss. We drank each other's soft moans, caused by the unusual contact.


We broke our kiss, actually gasping for air. I met her eye, which had turned into a wonderful, smoky blue - a shade, which I had never seen before.
"My God, Scully. You are going to kill me," I murmured as I drew her mouth closer to mine again.
"I hope you're wrong. I wouldn't want you to die until I've had what I want."
I actually groaned at that before capturing her lips with mine. Her small movements were driving me slowly insane and I could not help but grinding my hips into hers, eliciting moans from both of us.


I slowly sat up, bringing her with me, and then pushed her onto her back, my lips never leaving hers. Her legs were suddenly around my back, pulling me even closer to her. I broke our kiss with an audible smack, which made her giggle. I actually made my partner giggle! I chuckled at her reaction softly, before gasping as she undulated her hips against mine.
"Don't laugh at me, G-man."
"I'd never dream of laughing at you, G-woman," I managed to answer.


Then, out of nowhere, a rather disturbing thought clouded my mind. I could see that she saw it, too.
"Mulder? What's wrong?"
"I... We can't do this, Scully."


- - - - - - - - - -


I pushed him off me almost violently and sat up burying my head in my hands. What had I been thinking? Did you really think that he wanted you, I asked myself. Honestly, Dana, why would he want you? He just did not find that busty blonde he was looking for in that bar and thought that you might need to get laid.
"Scully?"
His voice was so soft. His voice was so scared that it almost broke my heart.
"Go away, Mulder."
"Scully, please, let me explain."
"What is there to be explained?" I asked, fighting back the tears.


I could hear his voice echo in my head. Four years, Scully. Don't tell me that you don't feel what I feel. How could I have been fool enough to think that he was talking about love?


I could feel his arm snake around my shoulder and pull me against him. I was too tired to fight back both him and tears, so I allowed him to do it.
"Please, Scully. It's not what you think it is."
"You don't know what I think," I countered, perfectly well aware of the fact that I was being childish.
"But I do know. You think that I don't want you. You think that I want some tall, busty, cheap blonde."
I actually blushed at that. My words exactly.
"But I don't. The only woman I want - the only woman I've wanted for years - is right here."
I let out a shaky sigh, pleading silently my partner not to do this to me.
"I haven't even thought of other women but you, Scully, for years. I--"
"Don't, Mulder. Don't do this to me," I whispered.
"I think I love you, Scully. No, I know that I love you."


That did it. I felt the tears run down my face and could not suppress a sob.
"Oh, Scully," he murmured. "That's not exactly the reaction I was looking for."
I did not answer. I did not move. I did not even breathe.
"The reason why I told you that we needed to stop is that I love you too much to rush it - rush this."
I nodded slowly.
"I want to do this right, Scully."


We had waited for four years. If he wanted to take me to dinner and slowly seduce me, he could do it.


"Scully?"
"Yeah, you're probably right," I managed to answer, finally meeting his eyes.
He gave me a sad smile and gently wiped my tears away.
"I did not mean to make you cry."
"I did not mean to allow you to make me cry," I countered with a small smile.
He smiled back at me and kissed my forehead gently. "Maybe I'd better call myself a taxi."
"No, no. I'll drive you. Just wait for a moment, I'll get my coat."
"As you wish."


For a long time, neither of us spoke as I drove to his apartment. I could only wish that he did not catch the way my hands were shaking. I could not help thinking what we would be doing now if he had not stopped us. I actually blushed at my thoughts and felt his eyes on my face.
"Everything ok?" he asked softly.
"Yeah."
Then we were silent again. Finally, I pulled the car in front of the house where he lived in. Our eyes met for a while and I could see that there was something he wanted to ask me.
"Scully?"
There it was. "What is it?"
"Want to come in to have a cup of coffee or something."
I shrugged slightly. "Yeah, sure. Why not."
He nodded with a smile before he stepped out of the car.


We were silent all the way to the door of his apartment. As we reached it, he took the keys from his pocket and began searching for the right one. I noticed that his hands were shaking, too, although not as much as mine. It didn't take too long, though, before he managed to open the door, allowing me to enter the apartment first.
"Coffee?" he asked softly after tossing his jacket away from our sights.
I could not answer though. He was so close to me that I could hear the heat radiating from him. He was so close that I could feel his hot breath teasing my earlobe. I let out a shaky sigh and slowly turned around, facing him.


As I had suspected, there were only few inches separating us. My heart skipped a beat or two as he reached to cup my chin and raised my face just enough so that he could see me better. I gave him a small smile.
"If you really want to take things slowly, Mulder, I think I'd better leave now."
"Yeah," he muttered, letting go of me obviously reluctantly.
As quickly as it was possible with legs as shaking as mine were, I went to the door.
"Scully?"
I turned around, "Yeah?"


Before I had time to realize what actually was going on, I was pressed flush against the door, my partner's lips on mine. I did not even try to suppress a moan, which allowed his tongue enter my mouth. His hands reached behind me, lifting me easy up until I was able to wrap my legs around his waist.


I think we both had abandoned whatever ideas we had earlier had about taking this slow.