...What else can happen?

Disclaimer: Again, none of these characters belong to us…Dammit!!

A/N: This chapter was a joint effort. It’s also where the start of the AU begins. This fic is not set in any specific time or season, but Daniel does still have the floppy hair. Why? Because it’s adorable!

The poem used is the last verse of Dover Beach by Matthew Arnold 1822-1888 (We don’t own that either.)



Episode two.



Daniel walked into Jack’s living room, glass of wine in one hand, and a beer in the other.

“You need to go shopping by the way.”

“Hm?” Jack replied, cracking one eye open.

“Well, you need industrial-strength disinfectant and a full Haz-Mat suit before you can put food in that fridge.”

“That bad?”

“Worse. I think you have life-forms growing in there.”

Jack gratefully accepted the beer off Daniel, shuffling along the couch to make room for him.

“Don’t I always?”

“These are evolved…I think they’ve discovered nuclear power.”

Jack snorted and pulled Daniel closer so that they were snuggled together, his head on Jack’s shoulder.

“I’ll sort it tomorrow.” He sighed as he started to run his fingers through Daniel’s long, floppy hair.

Daniel ran a hand along the inside of Jack’s thigh. Jack moved his hand to the nape of Daniel’s neck, stroking it gently.

Daniel groaned softly, arching slightly. He sat up, pulling the bottle of beer out of Jack’s hand and placed it on the coffee table next to his glass of wine. Then he stood, pulling Jack up until he was standing, too.

“What the…” Daniel interrupted Jack with a hungry kiss. He pulled away to say two words: “I’m horny.” Before diving back into the kiss, tongue exploring Jack’s mouth. Jack happily obliged, pushing Daniel towards the bedroom, stripping him as they went. Jack pulled off Daniel’s shirt, trailing his hands down Daniel’s side, feeling him shiver.

Daniel pulled away, almost running up the stairs in his haste.

Jack followed, removing his own shirt as his went.

They sat on the bed, removing each other’s trousers and underwear. Daniel stood up and went to pick up the lubricant off the bedside table.

Jack snorted. Typical post-mission Danny.

Daniel froze, then turned. “What?”

“Nothing.” Jack couldn’t help but grin.

“What? Tell me.”

“It’s just you.”

“What is?”

“After a mission, you’re always horny.” Jack walked up to Daniel and dropped a kiss on his shoulder.

“You complaining?”

“Never. It’s just funny to see you so horny that you don’t even bother with foreplay.”

“Foreplay? You want foreplay? I’ll give you foreplay, flyboy!”

Daniel reached into a drawer and pulled out a huge book. Jack raised an eyebrow as he read the cover.

“13th Century archaeological tools? Sorry Dannyboy, but reading is not foreplay.”

Daniel smirked, pushing Jack back down onto the bed. “Oh I think you’ll like what’s in this book.”

He started to open the cover.”

“Oh, no. Not unless it’s…” Jack’s sentence went unfinished as Daniel held up the jar of chocolate body paint and paintbrush, which he had retrieved, from the inside of the false book.

“Erm…Daniel?” Jack questioned as Daniel put the book onto the bedside table, along with the top off the jar. Daniel dipped the paintbrush in to the jar and then pulled it out slightly, watching the liquid chocolate drip from the end of the brush back into the jar.

“I’m going to speak, you’re going to listen.” He pushed Jack onto the bed, straddling his hips.

“Wha..?” Daniel put a finger to Jack’s lips.

“You listen with your ears, not your vocal cords.”

Jack lay back, a dominant Daniel was a rare, but never the less, an extremely fun Daniel. He was going to lie back and enjoy the ride.

“Yes, sir.” Daniel smirked again.

“You know better than to disobey orders, Colonel.” Starting at Jack’s collarbone, Daniel began to write, the paintbrush moving languidly as Daniel began to recite a verse of a well-loved poem.

“…Ah love, let us be true

To one another! For the world, which seems,

To lie before us like a land of dreams

So various, so beautiful, so new,

Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light…”

Jack kept his eyes on Daniel as he wrote the verse on his chest. He stayed silent, listening to the lyrical rise and fall of his voice, matched perfectly to the graceful movement of his hand. This was nothing like he’d expected but…wow. Only Daniel would think of something like this.

He let the beautiful words wash over him, along with the gentle strokes of the brush , both sensations lulling him.

“…Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain

And here we are, as on a darkling plain

Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

Where ignorant armies clash by night.”

Daniel added the final full stop with a flourish, meeting Jack’s eyes for the first time since he had started reciting.

“There, all done. Now I get to compound the message.” He leaned down, and began to trace the letters with his tongue.

Jack gasped as he felt Daniel's tongue on his chest, the wet heat a sharp contrast to the chill of the chochlate. Jack arched up, tangling his hand in the silky hair. Daniel pulled back at the touch, forcing Jack's hand up to the struts of the bed above his head.

"Stay there." Daniel ordered, getting up off the bed and walking over to the chest of drawers. He opened the middle drawer, pushed the clothes to one side, and pulled out a pair of silver handcuffs. He walked back to the bed. He knelt beside Jack ,smirk widening as he caught the first hand, swung the chain around the strut, and then captured the other hand.

"That's better." He took his place on Jack's hips once again, and began happily compounding his message once more.

By the time Daniel had reached the region of Jack's navel, the Colonel was a puddle of moaning, writhing goo, straining at the restraints of the handcuffs.

"Daniel," he groaned.

"Yes, my love?" Daniel asked, looking innocently up at Jack.

"Please..."

"Please what?" Daniel asked, as he swirled his tongue around Jack's navel, causing him to moan and arch upward.

Jack was painfully hard now, being driven out of his mind by Daniel's teasing tongue.

->"You...ahh God...want you..."

Daniel smiled happily as he laid along his lover, reaching for the handcuffs, then moaning as Jack latched onto his neck when he came close enough. Daniel fumbled with the safety catch of the handcuffs, and finally, undoing one half and pulling it from the strut, he surrendered to Jack's will. Jack pulled his hand down as soon as he could, uncaring of the handcuff hanging from his wrist. He rolled them over so that he was on top, and then continued his ministrations, sucking and biting Daniel's neck. His cuff-less hand was on a wandering path up and down Daniel's side as the other (Handcuffs in tow) reached for the tube of lube on the bedside table. At last he found what he sought and pulled back from a now-moaning Daniel and hastily prepared himself. Then, he flipped Daniel over and started to bite up and down his back and tried to keep himself under control long enough to prepare Danny. But that in itself was torturous as Danny was practically a writhing mass underneath him. At last, he was done, and he lifted Daniel up and thrust into him, causing him to gibber unintelligibly in French, and started to move.

The two started to move together, slowly at first, but it quickly became fever-pitched as both lost the little control they had retained, reaching for that elusive peak of ecstasy.

Daniel gasped as his orgasm hit, the pleasure having crested and fallen onto him, causing his skin to tingle and for him to convulse, calling out Jack's name. This had the effect of pushing over the edge and, a few thrusts later, he, too, collapsed on top of Daniel, spent and stroking Danny's face, saying his name softly and the eternal "I love you."

He slipped out and laid out at Daniel's side, the too snuggling together and enjoying the afterglow. Daniel smiled and returned the statement, kissing him happily.

-------

Jack lay back, using his pack as a pillow, sunglasses perched on his nose. He was lying on the whitest sand he had ever seen, surrounded by PX-whatever it was-s’ equivalent of palm trees.

“Now this is more like it.”

“Sir?” Sam squinted at him.

“Well, look.” He said, waving an arm around. “We are on an uninhabited planet that has glorious sunshine. This is the most relaxed mission we’ve had since…” he broke off, trying to actually think of the last time he had felt this relaxed off-world.

“I don’t think we’ve ever had a mission like this.” Daniel said, squinting through his glasses.

“No Goa’uld.”

“No-one shooting at us.”

“No nightmare-chair-thingy.”

“Huh?” Sam interjected.

“Gamekeeper.” Daniel supplied.

“Ah,” She nodded. “You’re still alive.”

Daniel looked down at himself. “So I am.”

“The Stargate is fully operational.” Teal’c added, making everyone jump; they all thought he was Kel’no’reem-ing.

“No NID.”

“No pressure to get a treaty.”

“None of us are wounded.”

“None of us are ill.”

“None of us are missing.”

“We haven’t been kidnapped.”

“Or snaked.”

“No need for any violence whatsoever.”

“..What’s gone wrong?"

"Maybe the Universe has run out of ideas about what it can throw at us. I mean, what else can happen?" Sam asked.

Beep-beep! Beep-beep!

A t this sound, all of them jumped except Teal'c (of course) and Jack cursed and switched off his alarm. Daniel and Sam groaned at the sound, and even Teal'c looked slightly sad to leave.

"Alright people, move out."

As they trudged towards the 'Gate, Daniel muttered, "Maybe I'll come here for my 'down-time'."

Jack called over his shoulder. "Good idea Danny-boy! I wonder if there is any fish?"

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