Jumping Over Shadows

Disclaimer : Smallville belongs to DC comics and WB. This is non-profit entertainment, and no infringement is intended so please don't sue me.

A/N: This is an AU Alien!Clark/Lex fic. I have changed the original episode content in places in order to bend the story to my whims.

A Huge thanks to skuf for her beta skills and always helpful critic. Any remaining mistakes are my own. Please feel free to point them out.


Jumping Over Shadows

Chapter 2

Cause and Effect

Clark lay in his hammock, a leg draped over the side, his foot occasionally pushing off the floor to maintain movement. He gazed out the loft window as dusk turned to night and stars slowly began to appear in the sky; the unveiling never ceased to amaze him. The intense resonance of crickets and other nocturnal insects that now reached his ears was peaceful – unlike the loud voices and arguing of his parents that had ended with the sound of his father’s truck pealing out of the drive.

It had been bitter and difficult to accept that his birth parents had made irrevocable decisions for him, but that was nothing compared to the weight of the guilt that rested on his shoulders. The three people who were most important to him were now struggling to deal with the disruptions he had caused in their lives. His parents at least had the advantage of knowing what they were dealing with. Lex, on the other hand, hadn’t a clue. There was no doubt in his mind that Lex was the one getting the rawest end of the deal. His mom and dad had always known what he was, yet still chose him; they realized on day one that strangeness would most likely abound.

Lex had merely been in the wrong place at the right time.

Clark adjusted the pillow under his head and closed his eyes. He could hear his mother moving around the kitchen, taking advantage of the cooler evening temperature to do her baking. The revelations early this morning had taken their toll on her, though she was much better at hiding it than his father was. The look on his dad’s face, when he’d fully realized what choice the Protector had made, caused Clark’s heart to ache. He kept telling himself that he’d done his best to cushion the blow, but the guilt lingered on.

He knew his father had always been proud of him and believed that he was destined to do great things for this planet. Pride, however, was not something his father could feel about the situation he was being told he had to accept. Clark, chaste and alone would sadden him; still, it was preferable to any form of relationship with another man. That was something Jonathan would be ashamed of – something he would need to sweep under the rug and hide in polite company. Any man was unacceptable; that it would be Lex only served to poison all hope of a reasonable discussion.

Clark’s patient attempt to explain the hows and whys over dinner was sabotaged by his father’s insistance that Clark had every right to choose his own life, no matter what his biological parents wanted for him. He was being raised on Earth and had the right – no, the duty – to live by its customs, and not by those of a culture that no longer existed. He was certain all Clark had to do was stand his ground and refuse to be swayed to do the bidding of some alien force. The fact that there was no way to negate the choice the Protector had already made was stubbornly ignored.

Clark inhaled deeply and stretched both legs out on the hammock. He wished the churning thoughts in his head would stop so he could finally get some rest. The last two days had really drained him – first his dead parents, then his mom and dad, and then…Lex. He groaned involuntarily at the thought of how they had…had what? Did having an orgasm mean they had sex, even though they were fully clothed? Clark didn’t think so, but he was sure his parents would disagree.

Ugh. When it came to sex, his parents and Lex didn’t belong in the same thought – hell, a few days ago he wouldn’t have imagined that he and Lex belonged in the same thought either. Not that Clark had spent any time actually thinking about it; no, he’d skipped right over thoughts and moved on to touching. Okay, it was Lex that had done the actual touching, but, still, there was mutual coming, and that, no matter how amazing it felt, had seriously rattled the unstable bridge Clark was standing on.

At the sound of the screen door banging, he gave up the idea of rest, and concentrated on the sound of his mother’s steps as she made her way up to the loft.

“Hi, mom,” Clark said wearily, opening his eyes to look up at her.

“Oh! Clark!” Martha jumped back, startled. “I thought you were sleeping.”

Clark snorted. “Not likely. I heard you coming.” He gave her a small smile and gracefully slipped out of the hammock.

Martha eyed him suspiciously. “Your hearing seems to be pretty sharp lately.”

Clark shrugged and dropped down onto the sofa. “Not all abilities develop at the same rate.”

“Well, with something as sensitive as hearing, I suppose the slower it happens the better you’ll be able to adjust to the additional noise. It’ll also give you time to learn how to block out what you don’t need to hear.” She folded her arms over her chest and looked down at him expectantly.

“I never listen when I’m not supposed to,” Clark dutifully assured her.

“I should hope not. That would be a terrible breach of privacy.” Martha sighed and sat down next to him, pulling her right leg under her body so she could face him. “I suppose no super-ability was necessary to hear your father and me arguing.”

“No, but I only heard the volume of your voices. I didn’t listen to what you were saying. I’m sorry everything is so screwed up again because of me.”

“It’s not your fault, Clark.”

“No, but it’s still because of me and it’s not fair that you and dad are fighting over it.”

“Honey, it’s never a pleasant thing, but it’s normal for parents to argue over raising their children. A mother believes she knows the best way to deal with a situation and the father disagrees or vice versa. It doesn’t matter if it’s about a first car, or the age they think a child is old enough to begin dating, or even what time curfew should be. There are bound to be situations where parents aren’t going to see things the same way. In this case, your father and I agree in principle, we just disagree on how best to handle it.”

“He’s never going to be able to accept it, is he?”

“Never is a long time, Clark. Right now I think he just needs time to get over…”

“His homophobia?” Clark interjected.

“…over his fear that you are being forced into a situation that goes against your nature – and I have to say that I agree with him,” Martha continued, ignoring Clark’s accusation.

“What is my nature, mom? The people whose genes I carry obviously gave the Protector permission to choose another man for me. Maybe the people on Krypton were all bi-sexual or had a sexuality that can’t be measured by human terms.”

“Clark, since you were old enough to know what girls were, it was Lana, Lana, Lana. Even when your thoughts occasionally wandered, they targeted Chloe and Kyla – not Pete, Greg and Whitney. Or is there something I missed? Clark, have you ever had even the slightest attraction to another boy?”

“No, but I don’t think that has much bearing on the situation with Lex.”

“That is exactly what your father and I are worried about. Your natural attraction is to girls, honey. How can you possibly hope to build a life-long relationship with a person you aren’t even physically attracted to?”

The memory of Lex’s mouth on his and the feel of Lex’s hand between his legs flashed through Clark’s mind. He seriously doubted attraction was going to be an issue. No, he had never before considered what it would be like to have the heat of another man’s cock pressed against his own – never knew what it would do to him to…

“Clark?”

“Uh, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem,” he said and hastily stood up, turning away to hide his erection from his mother.

“How can you be sure of that?”

Clark concentrated on re-arranging the objects that sat on the shelf in front of him while he considered what answer to give her. After a long moment he looked over his shoulder and said, “I kissed him.”

Without batting an eyelash, Martha asked, “Before your argument, or today when he came to see you?”

“Both times.”

“Is that the reason he was angry with you in the first place – is that what caused your fight?” She was still uneasy about being in the dark on the subject.

Clark quickly turned away again and walked to stand at the window. “No. The kissing was mutual and it was right – in the way kissing is supposed to be right.”

“Are you going to tell me what happened, Clark?”

He continued to look out into the night and shook his head. “Lex and I were able to talk it out and that’s all that matters right now.”

“No, I don’t think it is. I can see the larger picture, Clark and it worries me. You’re sixteen. Lex is not only six years older than you, he’s had numerous affairs that we know about, not to mention the ones we don’t. Women, men – he’s been married, Clark. He’s used to moving at a pace you shouldn’t be keeping up with, not at sixteen. Your father and I certainly wouldn’t approve of you having a sexual relationship with Lana, or any other girl you dated. Those rules don’t change just because it’s Lex.”

Clark groaned. Would this day never end? He didn’t want to think of how the kiss he initiated earlier today had quickly advanced into groping and humping, let alone discuss it with his mother. Finally turning to look at her, he said, “I know that, mom.”

Martha knew how uncomfortable he was discussing the idea of a sexual relationship with Lex, but she was not going to shirk her responsibility. His biological parents may have been able to choose a partner for him, but she would not allow them to interfere with her parenting. Clark was her son, and she had not raised him to take the subject of sex lightly.

“You said kissing Lex was mutual and felt right, but yesterday you also told me that you were being forced to do things against your will. Clark, is the sudden affection you feel for him compulsive – is it truly something you want or is that thing coercing you?”

Clark was quiet for a moment, and then she saw him shake his head.

“The Protector can’t make either of us feel anything. It can manipulate me into doing certain things that are necessary to move forward with the ritual, but it can’t make me want him. I’m sure of that.”

“Then how do you explain your sudden desire to kiss him, Clark?”

He shrugged. “I’ve always been close to Lex, mom, even if the attraction wasn’t sexual. Over the past six months my feelings for him have been changing; I just didn’t understand what was going on inside me.”

“So, you’re saying you have the same attraction to him now, as you had for Lana before?”

“Not really. In some ways I’m closer to Lex than I ever was to Lana. I mean, it bothers him that I have things I keep from him, but he’s never turned his back on me because of it. Lana let me know often enough that my keeping secrets from her made it impossible to be close to me.”

“You’ve said before, sweetheart, that friends are the ones who naturally get closest to you. You can’t hold it against her for trying,” Martha said gently.

“I can understand she felt hurt or confused at times by the things I couldn’t explain; I don’t blame her for that. I guess the difference is that Lex isn’t any less curious, but he understands secrets and the need to have them sometimes.” Clark sighed and leaned back against the wall. “I suppose it’s really not fair to compare them. The only important thing is that Lex is the one most willing to accept me as I am – and that gives me hope that he’ll be able to extend that acceptance to what I am.”

Martha nodded without answering. She had always liked Lex; her only reservations about him had been the life he led before coming to Smallville, and, of course, Lionel. Well, she couldn’t control either Lex or Lionel, but she had every intention of being informed and would closely watch over the developing relationship. The best defence was a good offence; if Jonathan wanted to wallow in ignorance that was his problem.

“Honey, if I promise not to get too near the subject of sex again, will you come sit here and talk with me?” Martha smiled and patted the empty space on the sofa next to her.

“Mom, don’t you think there has been enough talking for one day?” Clark asked, obviously discouraged by her request. Still, he trudged back to the couch and sat down beside her.

“I can’t imagine you feel like sleeping anymore than I do and there are questions I still have. It’s important for me to understand what’s happening if I want to have any hope of helping you through this.”

Clark propped his feet up on the trunk in front of him and let his head fall back against the couch with a sigh. “Okay. I’ll give you an answer if I can.”

“Tell me what you understand about this custom of choosing a partner.”

“Actually, the Choosing is only a ritual – the first out of five. It’s done by the parents when the children are very young. In my case it was done by the Protector based on whatever pre-requisites my biological parents gave it. I never had any say in the matter; still, to be fair, if I’d been raised on Krypton I wouldn’t have had anything to say about it either. There I would’ve been raised in the tradition though, so I guess it would have seemed more normal.”

“It’s a pretty shitty tradition,” Martha said grudgingly as she placed a pillow behind the small of her back and propped her feet up on the trunk next to Clark’s. “Do you have any idea why Lex was chosen?”

“I spent a lot of time last night thinking about that. The Protector would certainly have been sent to seek out someone who would compliment my person, intellectually and emotionally. I’m sure it saw those qualities in Lex, but there was also the fact that he was engulfed by a blast from the meteor shower. We know those rocks alter cellular structure and I’m pretty sure Lex’s changed physical state also contributed to making him the right choice.” Clark rolled his head to the side to look at his mother. “When you think back to the events of that day, doesn’t the symbolism just jump out at you?”

Martha’s brow wrinkled. “What do you mean?”

“Well, not only were we all in the fields that day, but the five of us were in the same truck together. Having made its decision, it would have been highly symbolic for the Protector to do the Choosing in that moment – in the presence of the parents that would raise me, and Lex’s father. I mean, as strange and unwelcome as these rituals seem, they were extremely important to the people on the planet where I was born. It makes sense that the Protector would go about it with as much of the ceremony as possible – and that meant in the presence of the parents. It was, like it or not, your first official act as my parents, even if you didn’t know it was happening.”

“Do you think that everything was arranged on that day – so from that moment on there was no other option for you?”

“More or less, though the Choosing is only an official statement of intent. At some point there is a Claiming Ceremony, which is the second step in the process. I don’t have any idea exactly how old one is supposed to be to do it, but I think there is a maximum age it has to be done by. There seem to be time constraints between all the steps. Most of my problems this past year were related to the fact that I was coming close to exceeding those constraints with the third rite. The Protector…”

“Wait a minute! Third rite?” Martha quickly sat up and looked intently at Clark. “What happened to the second…the Claiming you said came next?”

“That took place a quite a while ago, mom, but I didn’t know it until yesterday. Looking back, I guess I’ve always known deep down that something special had happened. It was just mixed up with so many other emotions and revelations, that it was easy to down-play the whole experience.”

“When did it happen, Clark? How?” Martha was beginning to feel resentment towards Jonathan. He should be here with her and Clark, sorting out this insane situation instead of sticking his head in the sand.

“The day of the bridge accident. The Protector used the situation for the purpose of the second ritual.”

“Do you think it may have actually caused that accident?”

“I doubt it. I think it just saw the perfect opportunity to initiate the Claiming and used it. Mom, when I pulled Lex out of the river, he was technically dead. He wasn’t breathing and his heart had stopped. Even Lex told me that he had an out-of-body experience.”

“But you saved him, Clark.”

“I’m thinking that might have been what triggered the Protector to act. I was the one who breathed life back into his body and I’m sure it wasn’t just air that he received. Mom, I didn’t just give him my breath – I gave him something from myself, Claiming and changing him in the process.”

“What do you mean changing, Clark?” Martha said anxiously, pushing away the absurd thoughts of pod people and Stepford Wives that immediately sprang to mind.

“I’m not exactly sure, but I think the process that began with the meteor blast was somehow enhanced, making him more compatible with me. I told you before, since the meteor shower Lex doesn’t get sick and he heals faster than a normal person.” Clark rubbed his eyes absently as he tried to remember exactly what Jor-El had told him. “Traditionally, the person who enacts the ritual gives the person Claimed a piece of his essence. Since Lex is human, I think some elements are either modified or work differently so that the piece of me Lex received both Claimed and changed him, killing two birds with one stone.”

“My god, Clark,” Martha whispered. “How can that have happened without Lex knowing?”

Clark shrugged. “I doubt the full effect of the change took place right away. I think it’s slowly happening and won’t be complete until the final ritual. Still, deep down, Lex knows something happened that day, the same as I did. He told me he felt changed after the accident, he just assumed it was due to having a near-death experience.”

Clark sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He remembered that day and all the emotional upheaval it caused as if it had just happened. “The accident is what prompted you and dad to finally tell me about my origins. I was so overwhelmed with that revelation, I never gave my new-found friendship with Lex much thought. I just figured, as he did, that the shared trauma gave us a mutual bond.”

“Clark, I don’t know what to say. This is all so complex and far-reaching that I can’t wrap my head around it. How could all of this have happened without any of us ever knowing…what else is going on that we don’t know about?”

“Mom, no matter how freakish this situation is for us, can you even begin to imagine what Lex will go through when he finds out? All this time he has been lied to, manipulated and used…”

“Not by you, Clark!”

“Of course, by me! And you and dad! Lex always felt that there was more to not only that accident, but the meteor showers. To protect my secret I’ve blatently lied to him over and over again. Every step he’s ever taken towards understanding the meteor strike and the bridge accident was seen as hostile and threatening.”

“Clark…” Martha reached out to take his hand.

“Don’t, mom,” Clark said quietly and stood up. “I’ve been on a crash course with the surreal since Sunday night and it still isn’t over. I patched things up with Lex today only to discover that time is running out. I’m going to have to tell him my secret a lot sooner than I thought – tomorrow to be exact.”

“Clark, surely it doesn’t have to be so soon!” Martha panicked.

Clark stopped his pacing and turned to look at her. “Have you even considered how all of this is affecting Lex? He’s hearing voices and experiencing things that would make any normal person question their sanity! There are things happening…”

“What things are happening?” Martha asked pointedly and groaned in frustration when she saw the closed look fall over his face.

“I’m sorry, mom, but it’s not fair for me to tell you when I’m sure Lex wouldn’t want anyone except him and me to know. Enough has happened without his consent and I want to avoid adding to that if I can.”

As much as Martha despised the current situation, she knew Clark was suffering under the weight of it. She was terrified at the thought of his secret being shared outside the family, but understood there really wasn’t much of a choice. Still, she’d hoped that there would be more time for the revelations of today to settle in before the next storm hit. In any case, Clark was going to tell him; better to concentrate on damage control and seeing to it that Clark didn’t break under the strain.

“Alright, Clark. I’ll accept that for right now.” Martha stood and stretched her stiff limbs.

“Dad’s on his way home,” Clark said quietly.

Martha smiled sadly and headed for the stairs.

“Mom?”

As she turned to look at him, Clark surprised her by reaching out and pulling her into an embrace.

“Thanks for wanting to be my mom.”

Martha felt a surge of joy as her son hugged her the way he had when he was five and she was the most important thing in his world.

“It’ll be alright, Clark,” she whispered. Martha knew she would move heaven and earth, not to mention Jonathan Kent, to make it so.

tbc...