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The Secret Lives of Scientists {Revised}
folder
Stargate: SG-1 › Stargate Atlantis
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
3,334
Reviews:
4
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0
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Category:
Stargate: SG-1 › Stargate Atlantis
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
3,334
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Stargate Atlantis, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Sex Survey
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot!
Title: Sex Survey Part 2
Author: llewellynprince
Series: The Secret Lives of Scientists
Rating: R –NC-17
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard Teyla/Weir Ford/Zelenka Beckett/Bates Grodin/Simpson Miko/Heightmeyer Stackhouse/Markham
Category: Humor, Lust, Romance, Drama
Summary: Survey Time!
Notes: Beta’d by lyndasty
Part Two: Sex Survey
Rodney read over the survey he’d written and smiled a slightly evil and demented smile, but a smile none the less. Normally he hated taking time away from his important work, but this was the only exception. Well there would be another one if a certain military major weren’t so oblivious. He shook his head and brought himself back to the situation at hand. Reading the survey over one more time he smiled; he was a certified genius!
“Hey, McKay!” A certified genius who’d just been given a heart attack. He turned and found the Major leaning on the side of his desk.
“Can I help you Major or are you just here to kill me?” He snapped. Sheppard raised an eyebrow like he didn’t understand what Rodney had said.
“I came to see if you needed any help,” he offered.
Rodney shooed him away. “It’s done; I was just heading down to the mess to give it to Elizabeth. I printed 200 copies.”
“Is that enough?”
“Should be, unless we got a whole new crew of people that I’m not aware of and if we have, I demand to know where my share of the lackeys are!”
“We didn’t, so let’s go. Hey what are you doing?”
“You’re the strong military man, you can carry them.”
“What?! They’re your damn papers.”
“And you didn’t help when I wrote them, so you can help now.”
Sheppard glared at the back of Rodney’s head as they walked to the mess hall where Elizabeth was sitting with Teyla and Halling waiting for them.
“Elizabeth, I finished the surveys,” Rodney said.
“Great.” Elizabeth swallowed what she’d been eating and stood. “Halling has agreed to help Teyla and I judge.”
“Great.”
“Ford.”
“Yes, sir,” the young Lieutenant smiled nervously as he took half the stack of papers from his commander. Elizabeth climbed onto one of the tables.
“Oi, Rodney are those the surveys?” Beckett called across the room from where he was sitting with Zelenka and several members of the medical staff.
“Yeah.”
“All right, everyone, can I have your attention please?” Elizabeth called over the noise of the eating area; the sight of their commander standing on top of a table was enough to get everyone’s attention and silence filled the room. “Thank you. As many of you have heard, Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay have come up with a little game for everyone to play that will help us all relax. First there will be a survey, then a tally, and finally a competition.”
“What’s the whole thing about?” Sergeant Stackhouse asked.
“The survey will be to find out who has more sexual experience, scientists or military, the tally, to see who’s had sexual relations since we got here, and the challenge, to see who is better at seduction.” She paused for effect. “Now we’ll have a sign up sheet for the last two, one for military personnel and one for science personnel and you can back out whenever you want.” The room went dead silent and no one moved, shocked and slightly embarrassed. Elizabeth shared a worried look with Sheppard and McKay and was about to call the whole thing off when Bates stood up, walked over, and signed up. Sheppard stared at him in shock and then smiled.
“Thanks.” Bates nodded and stood next to him and Ford.
“Five bucks on the major,” Stackhouse said to Grodin, Markham, and Simpson, who were sitting next to him.
“Ten on McKay,” Grodin returned and the two men eyed each other for a moment, and then watched in shock with Markham as Simpson strutted over and signed up. The men shared a look.
“Good luck,” Stackhouse said and they shook hands, following Markham who had already stood to sign up.
Sheppard and McKay watched as Simpson and then Markham, followed by Stackhouse and Grodin, signed up. Slowly several others trickled over and signed their names. When Beckett and Zelenka walked over and signed up, Ford looked like his heart was about to explode out of his chest. Zelenka must have seen the look of hopelessness on his face because he asked if everything is okay.
“Uh, yeah, fine,” Ford squeaked out.
“’ey, Radek, don’t you ‘ave that secret admirer?” Beckett asked as he put the pen down.
“Oh, yes. But this work out. When I find out who admirer is, I can seduce him.” Beckett grinned and nodded in agreement as Zelenka finished.
“Hey, Dr. Zelenka, will you sign me up?” Ford asked instantly.
Rodney rolled his eyes, if the kid was anymore obvious Zelenka was going to trip over him.
“Of, course Lieutenant. What is your first name?”
Oh, Ouch. Sheppard grimaced.
“Aiden.”
“There you go.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said in a quiet voice. Bates and Sheppard gave him sympathetic looks. After Beckett and Zelenka, more people started warming up and began signing up as Ford and Sheppard handed out surveys. At the end of the sign up they had 20 scientists and 19 military, and everyone was taking the survey. Elizabeth grabbed a copy to read over as everyone else filled theirs out. Since she was judging she wasn’t taking one, neither was Teyla or Halling and she wondered briefly if they would have understood enough to participate. She turned back to the survey and felt herself blush as she read the survey.
Sex Survey
Scientist Military
1.) Have you ever had sex? (If you have not: hand in your survey immediately and go get laid!) ‘Oh for the love of god Rodney!’ Elizabeth shook her head.
2.) Have you ever had sex with a member of your sex?
3.) Have you ever had sex with a member of the opposite sex?
4.) Have you ever had sex with both the same and opposite sex at the same time?
5.) Have you ever had sex with more than two people at the same time?
6.) Have you ever had sex with three or more people at the same time?
7.) Have you ever used toys during sex?
8.) Have you ever used toys by yourself?
9.) Have you ever masturbated by yourself?
10.) Have you ever masturbated with someone else watching?
11.) Have you ever masturbated during sex?
12.) Check which positions you have had sex in:
Missionary
Kneeling, from behind
From behind standing
Spooning
Standing
Deckchair
On bottom
On top
Kneeling
Sitting
On furniture
Stand and carry
The arc
Armchair
The deep one
The fusion
The hammock
The mill vanes
The trapeze
The wheelbarrow
Other
13.) Check the places you have had sexual relations:
Bed
Car
Desk
Boss’s desk
Closet
Elevator
Staircase
Hammock
Pool
Hot tub
Back of a pickup truck
Counter
Table
Floor
Tub
Shower
Couch
Chair
In front of fireplace
On coffee table
Or Other
14.) Have you ever practiced voyeurism?
15.) Have you ever practiced S&M?
16.) Have you ever role-played?
17.) Have you practiced bondage?
18.) Have you ever been to a strip club? Male or female or both
19.) Have you even hired a stripper? Male or female or both
20.) How old were you when you first had sex? 16 or under 16-20 20-30 30 or above
21.) Do you know the people you sleep with or is it just a random encounter?
22.) Do you currently have a crush or more on someone who doesn’t know?
23.) Have you ever slept with a non-corporal being or any other alien? ‘Rodney!’ Elizabeth couldn’t believe he’d written that. Obviously it was meant for Sheppard.
Elizabeth could feel herself turning beat red; dear god and Rodney had written this! She was never going to underestimate him again or let him near her computer. She looked around and noted that quiet a few of the military people were several different shades of red. Bates was reading the entire thing carefully and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Stackhouse was shielding his paper with his arm as he filled it out. Markham’s brow was creased in concentration; he missed the looks Stackhouse kept shooting his way, and Grodin had his head ducked. Simpson didn’t seem bothered by it at all and was checking off a hell of a lot of things. Miko and Heightmeyer were whispering to each other as they filled theirs out, which was only fair as the two were involved and had been for some time. Sheppard was muttering to himself as he read it.
“What the hell is the mill vanes?” he demanded turning to Rodney.
“Mouth arrives, the woman tends with the opened legs to receive its companion who, in this position, front penetrates it to the legs of her. The difference of sensations is remarkable in this type of penetration: clitoris and the vaginal lips are in the heat of contact with pelvis and the environs of the penis of the companion and the most accessible penetration are through circular movements. The fact of not being able to see itself expensive face gives a special enchantment him to the position. The newness of the caresses surprises pleasingly: the woman can caress the rumps of her companion, to smoothly nail her nails in the later part to the knees, to grasp the testicles of her companion. The man; to absorb the feet of her, to bite its fingers, to approach its hand the genitals of which they are being fused and to take its penis to penetrate it better. That’s the Karma Sutra’s description anyway.” He shrugged and when Sheppard didn’t say anything, looked up. Sheppard’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish with no sound. His face was redder then a tomato and his breathing was labored.
“What?” he squeaked, literally squeaked and Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“Would you like me to repeat it?”
“NO!” the entire room turned to look at him. He blushed even redder, ducked his head, and went back to his survey. Rodney gave him a weird look and then went back to his own survey. Elizabeth turned to Teyla and Halling, both of whom just looked at her.
“I’ll explain later.”
By the time everyone had finished with the survey nearly three fun, tension, filled hours had passed. Bates folded his over before placing it on the pile. Stackhouse and Grodin both put theirs down face first and couldn’t look at each other; Simpson and Markham who simply dropped theirs onto the pile. Ford quickly placed his down and nearly fainted when Zelenka put his on top, praying the scientist didn’t see his. Zelenka didn’t seem to notice it as he was in the middle of a deep conversation with Beckett. Bates strained to get a glimpse of Beckett’s paper, but Kavanaugh put his down before he could. Sheppard threw his down and walked away quickly and quietly while Rodney simply put his down and waited impatiently for everyone one else to turn theirs in. Once everyone was done, Elizabeth once again stood on top of the table.
“Alright. Teyla, Halling, and I will look these over tonight and give you the results in the morning. Meanwhile, before you leave could you please put a tally in those two boxes,” she pointed to two boxes labeled scientist and military on an empty table, “Simply put a yes or no on whether you have had sexual intercourse with another person since you’ve been here.” That took another hour and once everyone was done, they were excused and practically ran out the door.
“Alright, we’ll look over these tonight and announce them tomorrow,” she decided. Rodney and John nodded.
“Can’t wait,” Rodney grinned and walked out. John’s eyes followed him until he was out of site before turning back to Elizabeth. She gave him a sympathetic look and a pat on the arm.
TBC . . .
Title: Sex Survey Part 2
Author: llewellynprince
Series: The Secret Lives of Scientists
Rating: R –NC-17
Pairings: McKay/Sheppard Teyla/Weir Ford/Zelenka Beckett/Bates Grodin/Simpson Miko/Heightmeyer Stackhouse/Markham
Category: Humor, Lust, Romance, Drama
Summary: Survey Time!
Notes: Beta’d by lyndasty
Part Two: Sex Survey
Rodney read over the survey he’d written and smiled a slightly evil and demented smile, but a smile none the less. Normally he hated taking time away from his important work, but this was the only exception. Well there would be another one if a certain military major weren’t so oblivious. He shook his head and brought himself back to the situation at hand. Reading the survey over one more time he smiled; he was a certified genius!
“Hey, McKay!” A certified genius who’d just been given a heart attack. He turned and found the Major leaning on the side of his desk.
“Can I help you Major or are you just here to kill me?” He snapped. Sheppard raised an eyebrow like he didn’t understand what Rodney had said.
“I came to see if you needed any help,” he offered.
Rodney shooed him away. “It’s done; I was just heading down to the mess to give it to Elizabeth. I printed 200 copies.”
“Is that enough?”
“Should be, unless we got a whole new crew of people that I’m not aware of and if we have, I demand to know where my share of the lackeys are!”
“We didn’t, so let’s go. Hey what are you doing?”
“You’re the strong military man, you can carry them.”
“What?! They’re your damn papers.”
“And you didn’t help when I wrote them, so you can help now.”
Sheppard glared at the back of Rodney’s head as they walked to the mess hall where Elizabeth was sitting with Teyla and Halling waiting for them.
“Elizabeth, I finished the surveys,” Rodney said.
“Great.” Elizabeth swallowed what she’d been eating and stood. “Halling has agreed to help Teyla and I judge.”
“Great.”
“Ford.”
“Yes, sir,” the young Lieutenant smiled nervously as he took half the stack of papers from his commander. Elizabeth climbed onto one of the tables.
“Oi, Rodney are those the surveys?” Beckett called across the room from where he was sitting with Zelenka and several members of the medical staff.
“Yeah.”
“All right, everyone, can I have your attention please?” Elizabeth called over the noise of the eating area; the sight of their commander standing on top of a table was enough to get everyone’s attention and silence filled the room. “Thank you. As many of you have heard, Major Sheppard and Doctor McKay have come up with a little game for everyone to play that will help us all relax. First there will be a survey, then a tally, and finally a competition.”
“What’s the whole thing about?” Sergeant Stackhouse asked.
“The survey will be to find out who has more sexual experience, scientists or military, the tally, to see who’s had sexual relations since we got here, and the challenge, to see who is better at seduction.” She paused for effect. “Now we’ll have a sign up sheet for the last two, one for military personnel and one for science personnel and you can back out whenever you want.” The room went dead silent and no one moved, shocked and slightly embarrassed. Elizabeth shared a worried look with Sheppard and McKay and was about to call the whole thing off when Bates stood up, walked over, and signed up. Sheppard stared at him in shock and then smiled.
“Thanks.” Bates nodded and stood next to him and Ford.
“Five bucks on the major,” Stackhouse said to Grodin, Markham, and Simpson, who were sitting next to him.
“Ten on McKay,” Grodin returned and the two men eyed each other for a moment, and then watched in shock with Markham as Simpson strutted over and signed up. The men shared a look.
“Good luck,” Stackhouse said and they shook hands, following Markham who had already stood to sign up.
Sheppard and McKay watched as Simpson and then Markham, followed by Stackhouse and Grodin, signed up. Slowly several others trickled over and signed their names. When Beckett and Zelenka walked over and signed up, Ford looked like his heart was about to explode out of his chest. Zelenka must have seen the look of hopelessness on his face because he asked if everything is okay.
“Uh, yeah, fine,” Ford squeaked out.
“’ey, Radek, don’t you ‘ave that secret admirer?” Beckett asked as he put the pen down.
“Oh, yes. But this work out. When I find out who admirer is, I can seduce him.” Beckett grinned and nodded in agreement as Zelenka finished.
“Hey, Dr. Zelenka, will you sign me up?” Ford asked instantly.
Rodney rolled his eyes, if the kid was anymore obvious Zelenka was going to trip over him.
“Of, course Lieutenant. What is your first name?”
Oh, Ouch. Sheppard grimaced.
“Aiden.”
“There you go.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said in a quiet voice. Bates and Sheppard gave him sympathetic looks. After Beckett and Zelenka, more people started warming up and began signing up as Ford and Sheppard handed out surveys. At the end of the sign up they had 20 scientists and 19 military, and everyone was taking the survey. Elizabeth grabbed a copy to read over as everyone else filled theirs out. Since she was judging she wasn’t taking one, neither was Teyla or Halling and she wondered briefly if they would have understood enough to participate. She turned back to the survey and felt herself blush as she read the survey.
Sex Survey
Scientist Military
1.) Have you ever had sex? (If you have not: hand in your survey immediately and go get laid!) ‘Oh for the love of god Rodney!’ Elizabeth shook her head.
2.) Have you ever had sex with a member of your sex?
3.) Have you ever had sex with a member of the opposite sex?
4.) Have you ever had sex with both the same and opposite sex at the same time?
5.) Have you ever had sex with more than two people at the same time?
6.) Have you ever had sex with three or more people at the same time?
7.) Have you ever used toys during sex?
8.) Have you ever used toys by yourself?
9.) Have you ever masturbated by yourself?
10.) Have you ever masturbated with someone else watching?
11.) Have you ever masturbated during sex?
12.) Check which positions you have had sex in:
Missionary
Kneeling, from behind
From behind standing
Spooning
Standing
Deckchair
On bottom
On top
Kneeling
Sitting
On furniture
Stand and carry
The arc
Armchair
The deep one
The fusion
The hammock
The mill vanes
The trapeze
The wheelbarrow
Other
13.) Check the places you have had sexual relations:
Bed
Car
Desk
Boss’s desk
Closet
Elevator
Staircase
Hammock
Pool
Hot tub
Back of a pickup truck
Counter
Table
Floor
Tub
Shower
Couch
Chair
In front of fireplace
On coffee table
Or Other
14.) Have you ever practiced voyeurism?
15.) Have you ever practiced S&M?
16.) Have you ever role-played?
17.) Have you practiced bondage?
18.) Have you ever been to a strip club? Male or female or both
19.) Have you even hired a stripper? Male or female or both
20.) How old were you when you first had sex? 16 or under 16-20 20-30 30 or above
21.) Do you know the people you sleep with or is it just a random encounter?
22.) Do you currently have a crush or more on someone who doesn’t know?
23.) Have you ever slept with a non-corporal being or any other alien? ‘Rodney!’ Elizabeth couldn’t believe he’d written that. Obviously it was meant for Sheppard.
Elizabeth could feel herself turning beat red; dear god and Rodney had written this! She was never going to underestimate him again or let him near her computer. She looked around and noted that quiet a few of the military people were several different shades of red. Bates was reading the entire thing carefully and shifting uncomfortably in his seat. Stackhouse was shielding his paper with his arm as he filled it out. Markham’s brow was creased in concentration; he missed the looks Stackhouse kept shooting his way, and Grodin had his head ducked. Simpson didn’t seem bothered by it at all and was checking off a hell of a lot of things. Miko and Heightmeyer were whispering to each other as they filled theirs out, which was only fair as the two were involved and had been for some time. Sheppard was muttering to himself as he read it.
“What the hell is the mill vanes?” he demanded turning to Rodney.
“Mouth arrives, the woman tends with the opened legs to receive its companion who, in this position, front penetrates it to the legs of her. The difference of sensations is remarkable in this type of penetration: clitoris and the vaginal lips are in the heat of contact with pelvis and the environs of the penis of the companion and the most accessible penetration are through circular movements. The fact of not being able to see itself expensive face gives a special enchantment him to the position. The newness of the caresses surprises pleasingly: the woman can caress the rumps of her companion, to smoothly nail her nails in the later part to the knees, to grasp the testicles of her companion. The man; to absorb the feet of her, to bite its fingers, to approach its hand the genitals of which they are being fused and to take its penis to penetrate it better. That’s the Karma Sutra’s description anyway.” He shrugged and when Sheppard didn’t say anything, looked up. Sheppard’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish with no sound. His face was redder then a tomato and his breathing was labored.
“What?” he squeaked, literally squeaked and Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“Would you like me to repeat it?”
“NO!” the entire room turned to look at him. He blushed even redder, ducked his head, and went back to his survey. Rodney gave him a weird look and then went back to his own survey. Elizabeth turned to Teyla and Halling, both of whom just looked at her.
“I’ll explain later.”
By the time everyone had finished with the survey nearly three fun, tension, filled hours had passed. Bates folded his over before placing it on the pile. Stackhouse and Grodin both put theirs down face first and couldn’t look at each other; Simpson and Markham who simply dropped theirs onto the pile. Ford quickly placed his down and nearly fainted when Zelenka put his on top, praying the scientist didn’t see his. Zelenka didn’t seem to notice it as he was in the middle of a deep conversation with Beckett. Bates strained to get a glimpse of Beckett’s paper, but Kavanaugh put his down before he could. Sheppard threw his down and walked away quickly and quietly while Rodney simply put his down and waited impatiently for everyone one else to turn theirs in. Once everyone was done, Elizabeth once again stood on top of the table.
“Alright. Teyla, Halling, and I will look these over tonight and give you the results in the morning. Meanwhile, before you leave could you please put a tally in those two boxes,” she pointed to two boxes labeled scientist and military on an empty table, “Simply put a yes or no on whether you have had sexual intercourse with another person since you’ve been here.” That took another hour and once everyone was done, they were excused and practically ran out the door.
“Alright, we’ll look over these tonight and announce them tomorrow,” she decided. Rodney and John nodded.
“Can’t wait,” Rodney grinned and walked out. John’s eyes followed him until he was out of site before turning back to Elizabeth. She gave him a sympathetic look and a pat on the arm.
TBC . . .