The Secret Lives of Scientists
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Stargate: SG-1 › Stargate Atlantis
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Adult ++
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5
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Category:
Stargate: SG-1 › Stargate Atlantis
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
5
Views:
2,502
Reviews:
0
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Stargate Atlantis, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 2
Part Two: Sex Survey
Rodney read over the survey he’d written and smiled. Normally he hated taking time off of work, but this was the only exception, well there would be another one if a certain military major wasn’t so oblivious. He shook his head and brought himself back to the situation at hand. Reading the survey over one more time he smiled, he was a certified genius!
“Hey, McKay.” A certified genius who’d just had a heart attack. He turned and found the major leaning on the side of his desk.
“Can I help you major or are you just here to kill me?” He snapped. Sheppard raised an eyebrow like he didn’t understand what Rodney had said.
“I came to see if you needed any help,” he offered, Rodney shooed him away.
“It’s done; I was just heading down to the mess to give it to Elizabeth. I printed 200 copies.”
“Is that enough?”
“Should be.”
“Then let’s go, hey what are you doing?”
“You’re the strong military man, you can carry them.”
“What! There your damn papers.”
“And you didn’t help when I wrote them, so you can help now.” Sheppard glared at the back of Rodney’s head as they walked to the mess hall where Elizabeth was sitting with Teyla and Halling waiting for them.
“Elizabeth, I finished the surveys,” Rodney said.
“Great.” Elizabeth swallowed what she’d been eating and stood. “Halling has agreed to help Teyla and I judge.”
“Great.”
“Ford.”
“Yes, sir,” the young Lt. said and smiled as he took half the stack of papers from
his commander. Elizabeth climbed onto one of the tables.
“Oi, Rodney are those the surveys?” Beckett called across the room from where he was sitting with Zelenka and several members of the medical staff.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, everyone can I have your attention please,” Elizabeth called over the noise of the eating area; the sight of their commander standing on top of a table was enough to get everyone’s attention and silenced the room. “Thank you, as many of you have heard, Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay have come up with a little game for everyone to play that will help everyone relax. First there will be a survey, then a tally, and finally a competition.”
“What’s the whole thing about?” Sergeant Stackhouse asked.
“The survey will be to find out who has more sexual experience, scientists or military, the tally to see who’s had sexual relations since we got here, and the challenge to see who is better at seduction. Now we’ll have a sign up sheet for the last two, one for military personnel and one for science personnel and you can back out when ever you want.” The room went dead silent and no one moved, shocked and slightly embarrassed. Elizabeth shared a worried look with Sheppard and McKay and was about to call the whole thing off when Bates stood up, walked over, and signed up. Sheppard stared at him in shock and then smiled.
“Thanks.” Bates nodded and stood next to him and Ford.
“Five bucks on the major,” Stackhouse said to Grodin and Simpson, who were sitting next to him.
“Ten on McKay,” Grodin returned and the two men eyed each other for a moment, and then watched in shock as Simpson strutted over and signed up. They shared another look.
“Winner gets first chance,” Stackhouse promised, Grodin nodded and the two stood and signed up.
Sheppard and McKay watched as Simpson and then Stackhouse and Grodin signed up. When Beckett and Zelenka walked over and signed up Ford’s heart nearly exploded out of his chest, Zelenka must have seen the look of hopelessness on his face because he asked if everything is okay.
“Uh, yeah, fine.” He squeaked out.
“’ey, Radek, don’t you ‘ave that secret admirer?” Beckett asked.
“Oh, yes. But this work out. When I find out who admirer is I can seduce him or vice versa.” Beckett grinned and nodded in agreement as the two finished.
“Hey, Dr. Zelenka, will you sign me up?” Ford asked instantly.
“Of, course Lt. What is your first name?”
“Aiden.”
“There you go.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said in a quiet voice. Bates and Sheppard gave him sympathetic looks. After Beckett and Zelenka people started warming up and began signing up as Ford and Sheppard handed out surveys. At the end of the sign up they had, 20 scientists and 19 military and everyone was taking the survey. Elizabeth grabbed a copy to read it over as everyone else filled theirs out, since she was judging she wasn’t filling one out, neither was Teyla or Halling and she wondered briefly if they understand enough to. She felt herself blush as she read the survey.
Sex Survey
Scientist Military
1.) Have you ever had sex? (If you have not hand in your survey immediately and go get laid!) –Oh for the love of god Rodney! - Elizabeth shock her head.
2.) Have you ever had sex with the same sex?
3.) Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
4.) Have you ever had sex with both the same and opposite sex at the same time?
5.) Have you ever had sex with more then two people at the same time?
6.) Have you ever had sex with three or more people at the same time?
7.) Have you ever used toys during sex?
8.) Have you ever used toys by yourself?
9.) Have you ever masturbated by yourself?
10.) Have you ever masturbated with someone else watching?
11.) Have you ever masturbated during sex?
12.) Check which positions you have had sex in:
Missionary
From behind kneeling
From behind standing
Spooning
Standing
Deckchair
On bottom
On top
Kneeling
Sitting
On furniture
Stand and carry
The arc
Armchair
The deep one
The fusion
The hammock
The mill vanes
The trapeze
The wheelbarrow
Other
13.) Check the places you have had sexual relations:
Bed
Car
Desk
Boss’s desk
Closet
Elevator
Staircase
Hammock
Pool
Hot tub
Back of a pickup truck
Kitchen
Counter
Table
Floor
Bathroom
Floor
Tub
Shower
Counter
Living room
Couch
Chair
In front of fireplace
On coffee table
Floor
Or Other
14.) Have you ever done voyeurism?
15.) Have you ever done S&M?
16.) Have you ever roll played?
17.) Have you ever done bondage?
18.) Have you ever been to a strip club? Male or female or both
19.) Have you even hired a stripper? Male or female or both
20.) How old were you when you first had sex? 16 or under 16-20
20-30
30 or above
21.) Do you know the people you sleep with or is it just a random fuck?
22.) Do you currently have a crush or more on someone who doesn’t know?
Elizabeth could feel herself turning beat red, dear god and Rodney had written this! She was never going to underestimate him again. She looked around and noted that quiet a few of the military people were several shades of red. Bates was reading the entire thing carefully and shifting uncomfortably. Stackhouse was shielding his paper as he filled it out and Grodin had his head ducked as he filled his out. Simpson didn’t seem bothered by it at all and was checking a hell of a lot of things. Miko and Heightmeyer were whispering to each other as they filled theirs out, which was only fair as the two were involved and had been for a while. Sheppard was muttering to himself as he read it.
“What the hell is the mill vanes?” he demanded turning to Rodney.
“Mouth arrives, the woman tends with the opened legs to receive its companion who, in this position, front penetrates it to the legs of her. The difference of sensations is remarkable in this type of penetration: clitoris and the vaginal lips are in the heat of contact with pelvis and the environs of the penis of the companion and the most accessible penetration are through circular movements. The fact of not being able to see itself expensive face gives a special enchantment him to the position. The newness of the caresses surprises pleasingly: the woman can caress the rumps of her companion, to smoothly nail her nails in the later part to the knees, to grasp the testicles of her companion. The man; to absorb the feet of her, to bite its fingers, to approach its hand the genitals of which they are being fused and to take its penis to penetrate it better. That’s the Karma Sutra’s description anyway.” He shrugged and when Sheppard didn’t say anything looked up. Sheppard’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish with no sound. His face was redder then a tomato and his breathing was labored.
“What?” he squeaked, literally squeaked and Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“Would you like me to repeat it?”
“NO!” the entire room turned to look at him. He blushed even redder, ducked his head, and went back to his survey. Rodney gave him a weird look and then went back to his own. Elizabeth turned to Teyla and Halling both of whom just looked at her.
“I’ll explain later.” By the time everyone had finished with the survey nearly three hours had passed. Bates folded his over before placing it on the pile, Stackhouse and Grodin both put theirs down face first and couldn’t look at each other or Simpson who simply dropped hers on to the pile. Ford quickly placed his down and nearly fainted when Zelenka put his on top, praying the scientist didn’t see his. Zelenka didn’t seem to notice it as he was in the middle of a deep conversation with Beckett. Bates strained to get a glimpse of Beckett’s paper, but Markham put his down before he could. Sheppard threw his down and walked away quickly, while Rodney simply put his down and waited for everyone one else to turn theirs in. Once everyone was done Elizabeth once again stood on top of the table.
“Alright, Teyla, Halling, and I will look these over tonight and give you the results in the morning. Meanwhile, before you leave could you please put a tally in those two boxes,” she pointed to two boxes labeled scientist and military on an empty table, “simple put a yes or no on whether you have had sexual intercourse with another person since you’ve been here.” That took another hour and once everyone was done she excused them and everyone practically ran out the door.
“Alright, we’ll look over these tonight and announce them tomorrow.” Rodney and John nodded.
“Can’t wait.” Rodney grinned and walked out. John’s eyes followed him until he was out of site before turning back to Elizabeth who gave him a sympathetic look.
TBC . . .
Rodney read over the survey he’d written and smiled. Normally he hated taking time off of work, but this was the only exception, well there would be another one if a certain military major wasn’t so oblivious. He shook his head and brought himself back to the situation at hand. Reading the survey over one more time he smiled, he was a certified genius!
“Hey, McKay.” A certified genius who’d just had a heart attack. He turned and found the major leaning on the side of his desk.
“Can I help you major or are you just here to kill me?” He snapped. Sheppard raised an eyebrow like he didn’t understand what Rodney had said.
“I came to see if you needed any help,” he offered, Rodney shooed him away.
“It’s done; I was just heading down to the mess to give it to Elizabeth. I printed 200 copies.”
“Is that enough?”
“Should be.”
“Then let’s go, hey what are you doing?”
“You’re the strong military man, you can carry them.”
“What! There your damn papers.”
“And you didn’t help when I wrote them, so you can help now.” Sheppard glared at the back of Rodney’s head as they walked to the mess hall where Elizabeth was sitting with Teyla and Halling waiting for them.
“Elizabeth, I finished the surveys,” Rodney said.
“Great.” Elizabeth swallowed what she’d been eating and stood. “Halling has agreed to help Teyla and I judge.”
“Great.”
“Ford.”
“Yes, sir,” the young Lt. said and smiled as he took half the stack of papers from
his commander. Elizabeth climbed onto one of the tables.
“Oi, Rodney are those the surveys?” Beckett called across the room from where he was sitting with Zelenka and several members of the medical staff.
“Yeah.”
“Alright, everyone can I have your attention please,” Elizabeth called over the noise of the eating area; the sight of their commander standing on top of a table was enough to get everyone’s attention and silenced the room. “Thank you, as many of you have heard, Major Sheppard and Dr. McKay have come up with a little game for everyone to play that will help everyone relax. First there will be a survey, then a tally, and finally a competition.”
“What’s the whole thing about?” Sergeant Stackhouse asked.
“The survey will be to find out who has more sexual experience, scientists or military, the tally to see who’s had sexual relations since we got here, and the challenge to see who is better at seduction. Now we’ll have a sign up sheet for the last two, one for military personnel and one for science personnel and you can back out when ever you want.” The room went dead silent and no one moved, shocked and slightly embarrassed. Elizabeth shared a worried look with Sheppard and McKay and was about to call the whole thing off when Bates stood up, walked over, and signed up. Sheppard stared at him in shock and then smiled.
“Thanks.” Bates nodded and stood next to him and Ford.
“Five bucks on the major,” Stackhouse said to Grodin and Simpson, who were sitting next to him.
“Ten on McKay,” Grodin returned and the two men eyed each other for a moment, and then watched in shock as Simpson strutted over and signed up. They shared another look.
“Winner gets first chance,” Stackhouse promised, Grodin nodded and the two stood and signed up.
Sheppard and McKay watched as Simpson and then Stackhouse and Grodin signed up. When Beckett and Zelenka walked over and signed up Ford’s heart nearly exploded out of his chest, Zelenka must have seen the look of hopelessness on his face because he asked if everything is okay.
“Uh, yeah, fine.” He squeaked out.
“’ey, Radek, don’t you ‘ave that secret admirer?” Beckett asked.
“Oh, yes. But this work out. When I find out who admirer is I can seduce him or vice versa.” Beckett grinned and nodded in agreement as the two finished.
“Hey, Dr. Zelenka, will you sign me up?” Ford asked instantly.
“Of, course Lt. What is your first name?”
“Aiden.”
“There you go.”
“Thanks,” Aiden said in a quiet voice. Bates and Sheppard gave him sympathetic looks. After Beckett and Zelenka people started warming up and began signing up as Ford and Sheppard handed out surveys. At the end of the sign up they had, 20 scientists and 19 military and everyone was taking the survey. Elizabeth grabbed a copy to read it over as everyone else filled theirs out, since she was judging she wasn’t filling one out, neither was Teyla or Halling and she wondered briefly if they understand enough to. She felt herself blush as she read the survey.
Sex Survey
Scientist Military
1.) Have you ever had sex? (If you have not hand in your survey immediately and go get laid!) –Oh for the love of god Rodney! - Elizabeth shock her head.
2.) Have you ever had sex with the same sex?
3.) Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?
4.) Have you ever had sex with both the same and opposite sex at the same time?
5.) Have you ever had sex with more then two people at the same time?
6.) Have you ever had sex with three or more people at the same time?
7.) Have you ever used toys during sex?
8.) Have you ever used toys by yourself?
9.) Have you ever masturbated by yourself?
10.) Have you ever masturbated with someone else watching?
11.) Have you ever masturbated during sex?
12.) Check which positions you have had sex in:
Missionary
From behind kneeling
From behind standing
Spooning
Standing
Deckchair
On bottom
On top
Kneeling
Sitting
On furniture
Stand and carry
The arc
Armchair
The deep one
The fusion
The hammock
The mill vanes
The trapeze
The wheelbarrow
Other
13.) Check the places you have had sexual relations:
Bed
Car
Desk
Boss’s desk
Closet
Elevator
Staircase
Hammock
Pool
Hot tub
Back of a pickup truck
Kitchen
Counter
Table
Floor
Bathroom
Floor
Tub
Shower
Counter
Living room
Couch
Chair
In front of fireplace
On coffee table
Floor
Or Other
14.) Have you ever done voyeurism?
15.) Have you ever done S&M?
16.) Have you ever roll played?
17.) Have you ever done bondage?
18.) Have you ever been to a strip club? Male or female or both
19.) Have you even hired a stripper? Male or female or both
20.) How old were you when you first had sex? 16 or under 16-20
20-30
30 or above
21.) Do you know the people you sleep with or is it just a random fuck?
22.) Do you currently have a crush or more on someone who doesn’t know?
Elizabeth could feel herself turning beat red, dear god and Rodney had written this! She was never going to underestimate him again. She looked around and noted that quiet a few of the military people were several shades of red. Bates was reading the entire thing carefully and shifting uncomfortably. Stackhouse was shielding his paper as he filled it out and Grodin had his head ducked as he filled his out. Simpson didn’t seem bothered by it at all and was checking a hell of a lot of things. Miko and Heightmeyer were whispering to each other as they filled theirs out, which was only fair as the two were involved and had been for a while. Sheppard was muttering to himself as he read it.
“What the hell is the mill vanes?” he demanded turning to Rodney.
“Mouth arrives, the woman tends with the opened legs to receive its companion who, in this position, front penetrates it to the legs of her. The difference of sensations is remarkable in this type of penetration: clitoris and the vaginal lips are in the heat of contact with pelvis and the environs of the penis of the companion and the most accessible penetration are through circular movements. The fact of not being able to see itself expensive face gives a special enchantment him to the position. The newness of the caresses surprises pleasingly: the woman can caress the rumps of her companion, to smoothly nail her nails in the later part to the knees, to grasp the testicles of her companion. The man; to absorb the feet of her, to bite its fingers, to approach its hand the genitals of which they are being fused and to take its penis to penetrate it better. That’s the Karma Sutra’s description anyway.” He shrugged and when Sheppard didn’t say anything looked up. Sheppard’s mouth was opening and closing like a fish with no sound. His face was redder then a tomato and his breathing was labored.
“What?” he squeaked, literally squeaked and Rodney raised an eyebrow.
“Would you like me to repeat it?”
“NO!” the entire room turned to look at him. He blushed even redder, ducked his head, and went back to his survey. Rodney gave him a weird look and then went back to his own. Elizabeth turned to Teyla and Halling both of whom just looked at her.
“I’ll explain later.” By the time everyone had finished with the survey nearly three hours had passed. Bates folded his over before placing it on the pile, Stackhouse and Grodin both put theirs down face first and couldn’t look at each other or Simpson who simply dropped hers on to the pile. Ford quickly placed his down and nearly fainted when Zelenka put his on top, praying the scientist didn’t see his. Zelenka didn’t seem to notice it as he was in the middle of a deep conversation with Beckett. Bates strained to get a glimpse of Beckett’s paper, but Markham put his down before he could. Sheppard threw his down and walked away quickly, while Rodney simply put his down and waited for everyone one else to turn theirs in. Once everyone was done Elizabeth once again stood on top of the table.
“Alright, Teyla, Halling, and I will look these over tonight and give you the results in the morning. Meanwhile, before you leave could you please put a tally in those two boxes,” she pointed to two boxes labeled scientist and military on an empty table, “simple put a yes or no on whether you have had sexual intercourse with another person since you’ve been here.” That took another hour and once everyone was done she excused them and everyone practically ran out the door.
“Alright, we’ll look over these tonight and announce them tomorrow.” Rodney and John nodded.
“Can’t wait.” Rodney grinned and walked out. John’s eyes followed him until he was out of site before turning back to Elizabeth who gave him a sympathetic look.
TBC . . .