Just to Hear You

Just to Hear You

Pt. 2

Everyone was in the family room waiting for news. Brass, Nick, Sara, Warrick, Catherine, and Greg were the only family Grissom had apart from his mother, and no one wanted to be the one to call her until they had some news. Brass and Warrick had both given their statements to IA and, pending the investigation; they were both on administrative leave. It was more of a formality than a requirement. The evidence Ecklie’s team collected backed up both of their statements perfectly. It was a righteous shoot just waiting on the paperwork.

The waiting was the worst. No one knew anything about Grissom’s condition and his or her own inner demons took hold in the frustration. Brass blamed himself for the scene not being secure. Warrick blamed himself for not seeing the guy sooner. Nick was worried about all his friends who were all taking this very hard. Catherine was afraid for Grissom and for Sara. Sara sat in the family room staring at a spot on the floor. She hadn’t moved or spoken since Catherine steered her out of the trauma room two hours before. No one knew what was going on in Sara’s mind but they knew if Grissom didn’t make it, Sara wouldn’t be able to take it if her current state was any indication.

“Are any of you here for Gil Grissom?” Everyone in the room looked up, except for Sara, and looked at the brunette nurse. “The doctor is on his way down. He should be here in just a minute.” A tall doctor walked in just behind her. “I’ll take it Carol. Surgery is still backed up so I’ll handle it.” Catherine was the first to speak. “So how is he?”

Dr. Doug Ross had seen countless trauma cases in his years in the ER. It was never easy to talk to the family after one, but looking at the six people in that room who were this man’s self-imposed ‘family’ was even more difficult. He had never seen such an odd group who were all so close to the same person and all in such obvious pain. “He’s in serious condition, but he’s stable. He’s in recovery now. The bullet in his chest entered just left of the sternum between third and fourth ribs. It nicked the arch of the aorta causing massive blood loss. Fortunately that was the worst that it did. He coded down in the trauma room and twice in the OR, but the surgeon got the damage repaired and he’s in recovery. He also has a fractured skull from the bullet wound to his head. Luckily the bullet hit on an angle where it didn’t go into his skull, but the force when it ricocheted did give him a concussion and fractured his skull near his temple. Neurology will be examining him shortly. I’m sure his surgeon will speak with you as soon as he can get away.”

Warrick’s deep voice broke in. “So he’ll be ok? He’ll make it?”

“Doug, we’ve got a couple of kids coming in from a vehicle accident. ETA 5 minutes.” “Thanks Carol I’ll be right there.” Doug sighed and looked back at Warrick. “Look you’re friend is still in pretty bad shape. We don’t know the extent of the head injury yet and he’s still getting blood transfused. But I’d say yeah, he’ll be all right. Call it cautiously optimistic. His condition is serious, but stable. So that in itself tells me the guy is a fighter and has something to live for. He’s lucky to have friends like you who care so much. I’ll have Carol come by with updates when we have them and she’ll let you know when you can see him.”

“Come on people we’re losing him….losing him……..losing him” The words played in Sara’s head over and over along with the images of Grissom lying in the ER covered in his own blood. ‘He’s gone. They lost him. I lost him. Get a grip, Sidle. He was never yours to lose. He pushed you away more than once. He turned you down flat when you asked him out. A friend is all you ever were to him. But at least he was in my life. Just being there that little bit made my life brighter. Without him, I don’t know if……’

“Sar? Sara come on. You need to eat. You heard the doc. When there is any news, someone will let us know.” Sara looked at Nick and blinked. “What?” “Sara have you heard anything I’ve said?” “Sorry, but no. I was thinking. Just seeing him like that..” Sara stopped as she fought back the tears.

Catherine came over and sat beside her. “Sara the doctor was just in here. They have Gil in recovery. He’s stable, Sara.” “They said they were losing him. There was so much blood…” “I know. But they got him back. He’s stable. Now let’s get you something to eat and get you looking more like yourself again. They’ll let us know when we can go see him, and after the last few hours, you need to see him before anyone else does.”

Sara looked at Catherine confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You and Brass have known Grissom longer than I have. It makes sense that..”

“Oh knock it off Cookie.” Brass interrupted. “You’ve got it bad for the bug guy and everyone knows it. He’s just been too inept to do anything about it. Look I know you two are friends and you’ve had that geek mind meld thing going on when you work. But I also know you wouldn’t turn down more than friendship with him either. Now don’t bother denying it. I am a detective after all. I see things. Over the past couple of hours you, my dear, have been an absolute basket case. I think I can safely speak for everyone in this room when I say we all care about Gil, but you love him. When we can get in there to see him, you’re in first and that’s final.”

Sara was stunned that Brass and Catherine could read her so well. She thought she hid her emotions for Grissom pretty well. But from the looks on her friends’ faces as they were nodding in agreement with Brass, she hadn’t hidden a thing.

An hour later the team had cleaned up, eaten, and everyone felt a little more normal when a nurse came in and told them that Grissom was now in ICU. The whole team made their way to the ICU waiting room and met with the surgeon there. He gave them the same type of information that Dr. Ross had given them earlier, except that he was confident that Grissom would recover from the chest wound. They were still not able to go in and see him since neurology was examining him. Another half hour of waiting and the neurologist arrived looking for Grissom’s family. The news from him wasn’t as good. Grissom had a concussion, a skull fracture, and his brain was swollen. They couldn’t be sure if there was any other damage until he regained consciousness. They didn’t expect him to wake up for several hours yet, but beyond that it became important that Grissom wake up.

True to their word the team ushered Sara into Grissom’s room first. He was better than the last time she saw him, but he still didn’t look like Grissom. His skin was pale and bandages wrapped his head and covered his chest. Wires crossed over his body and the monitors beeped steadily by his bedside. Sara reached out for his hand, but stopped short. She knew if she touched him there would be no going back. While she had been a basket case earlier, as long as she kept some sort of distance between them she could go back to being his friend and colleague. Being so close to him and not letting him know how she felt was breaking her heart, but it was better than not having him in her life at all. She had taken a chance and asked him out once, but she couldn’t do that again. His refusal wasn’t even slight brush off like ‘sorry I have plans. Maybe another time.’ It was a flat ‘no’ that left no room for interpretation or hope that things would change.

A nurse came in to hang a new IV bag and interrupted her thoughts. “They say it helps if you talk to them. Let him know you’re here.” Sara looked at the nurse with tear filled eyes. “I’m not sure I’d know what to say.” “Just tell him how you feel, Sar.” Nick put his hand on her shoulder as he stepped into the room beside her. “Everyone else is going to head home and get some rest. We figured one of us should be here when he wakes up, so it makes sense to stay here in shifts. You’re up first, but if you’d rather not I can. But I really think you should stay a while. Talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Sara I saw it all over your face when you heard what happened. You practically collapsed into me when Vartan said ‘Grissom’ and ‘went down’ in the same sentence.”

“I don’t think I can Nick. He doesn’t feel the same way. I asked him out once and he turned me down flat. I can be his friend, but that’s all the farther it will go. If I tell him how I really feel and I’m totally honest with him, we’ll lose that. He’ll push me away even farther than he already has and then I’ll lose his friendship too.”

“Sara that won’t happen. Now I don’t know what’s going on in Grissom’s head, but I do know he cares about you. And it’s not just a friend/co-worker kind of care about you either. I’ve seen him looking at you when he thinks no one is watching. It’s like he wants to say or do something, then he gets this sad look on his face and walks away. Talk to him Sara. Come on he’s unconscious for crying out loud. He probably won’t be able to make out what you say, but a friendly familiar voice might be what it takes be bring him out of this. At least just talk to him, even if you don’t tell him the truth. You know how happy he gets when you get all geeky on him. Brass already cleared it with the docs so one of us can stay with him even past visiting hours. I’m gonna go on home and get some sleep. You call me if you need anything, even just to talk ok?”

“Yeah sure Nick. I’ll stay here with Griss while you guys get some sleep. Maybe I’ll start boring him with forensic articles until he tells me to shut up.” Nick smiled. “Now that’s the Sara we all know and love. I’ll be back in a few hours so you can get some sleep.”

Sara pulled a chair over beside Grissom’s bedside and took hold of his hand. Her fears didn’t matter anymore. Grissom needed his friends right now and if that’s what it took to be near him, so be it. “So Grissom. I was reading this article the other day……”