Boi Zone

Sounds all around him become muted, as the reality of what Daphne has just shared with him crashes down onto his head, slowly filling his body with a numbness he'd never before experienced.

It was like the first time he'd mastered riding a bike. After the long climb up the hill, the ride down took his breath away, as the wind rushed like long fingers through his hair, kissing his skin.

It was like getting high with Brian, then dancing inside a strobe light.

It was like feeling the techo-beat of any song playing at Babylon, as the sound crept up his feet, and slammed into his heart.

It was like the best night of his life, (meeting Brian Kinney) and the worst,
(finding out he'd only been, 'just a fuck') blended into one long never-ending evening.

This foreign feeling washing over his very soul, is SO unreal, it's surreal.

Backing up against the building, Justin welcomes the harsh roughness of the brick, grounding him as he finds himself slowly slipping, sliding, down, down, until he's sitting on the cool, hard pavement.

Peering up at her through sad, troubled, tear-filled, soft blue eyes, he whispers, “How long have you known Daph?”

Kicking the toe of her red and white Keds tennis shoe against the cracked cement, Daphne mumbles softly rubbing her arms as she drags the toe of her other shoe back and forth slowly over her now scuffed shoe, “A couple of weeks now.”

Shaking his blonde head in denial he mutters, “But how can this be? We used a condom!”

Squeezing her eyes tightly shut; she tries to block out his accusing stare.

Not wishing to accept all of the blame, she's now glaring right back at him, not backing down an inch.

Arching an eyebrow she snares, “Well, YOU were wearing the fucking thing Justin, did YOU check it for any rips or leaks, hmmm?” Tapping her toe, nervously she awaits his reply, already knowing the answer.

Hell, she was carrying the answer.

A faint pink blush covers his cheeks as he mumbles, “No.” before drawing his knees up to his chin.

Wrapping his arms tightly around them, burying his face from her accusing view, he's hiding from the world.

Looking down at him, his blonde head bowed, his slender shoulders shaking, she feels a guilty sickness slowly spread across her chest as she hears his muffled small choked sobs.

And, as something inside her snaps, suddenly, Daphne just can't do it.

She just can't ask him what she'd come there to find the answers to.

In the clarity of that moment, she makes her decision.

It's at that moment.

It's inside that particle of time.

It's that last grain to fall through your hourglass of reality, and you just want to flip it over, pretend it had never happened.

And, if their futures have to crash and burn before they even began, she'll take the fall, alone.

With her heart breaking for him, and her emotions getting the better of her, she finds herself brokenly blurting, “I have some money saved, I'll just, well you know, I'll handle it, okay? So, don't worry Jus. Just, just forget this, forget this visit, forget me even mentioning it, all right?” She pleads, looking at him intently, wiping her arm across her wet face.

Justin is stunned.

He feels all of these feelings trickle down his spine...How to put a name to them, for they have blended, fused into one big heavy invisible mass, clouding his mind, clogging his heart.

And he's? What?

Hurt?

No, shocked?

FUCK that.

He's feeling outraged!

First, his Mom treats him like a baby.

Going through his things, spying on him, following him to gay bars, talking to the new friends he'd made through Brian, ratting him out to his Dad about Brian.

Then his Dad, loosing his fool mind over the idea of him and Brian together.

Wigging over the fact that he'd rather go to PIFA instead of Dartmouth like 'dear old Daddy' did.

Then, then there's Brian's best friend Mikey, giving him shit, always trying to undermine him in Brian's life. Telling Justin shit like, how Brian's only using him, underscoring the fact that Brian Kinney doesn't DO boyfriends, blah, blah, blah, and treating him like any of Brian's many other nameless tricks.

Saying mean shit all of the time like 'rent-at-twink' calling him, 'the twink that wouldn't leave' GOD! That guy was SUCH an asshole!

And then, there is Brian Kinney himself. Treating Justin like he didn't matter to him, when he knew, they BOTH knew that he did.

Even when, in one of those wonderful rare moments, and Brian would hold Justin close, he could still feel the invisible hands pushing him away.

Push, pull, push, pull.

Always with the mind fucks. Always with the head games.

The sex-on-legs man was more fucked up than a soup sandwich, but Justin didn't care.

None of it had mattered.

None of it did matter.

He'd fallen in love with Brian that first night.

The night Brian Kinney had claimed him, had told him in that hot sexy, burnt sugary, whiskey tone, "Now relax, I want you to always remember this, so that no matter who you're ever with, I'll always be there.”

Yeah, Brian Kinney was a good Ad man.

The best.

And in that moment, as he'd rocked his long, thick dick deeper into Justin, as his amazing hazel-green eyes delved into Justin’s soul, he knew, Justin just knew that it would always be, only ever be, Brian.

That night the twenty nine-year-old man had taken from him much more than his seventeen year old virginity.

And, that night, Justin had given up SO much more than just his innocence.

GOD!

And now this?

His best friend is not only pregnant with HIS child, but now she's saying she wants to kill HIS baby?

FUCK THAT!

OVER HIS DEAD BODY WOULD THAT EVER HAPPEN!!!

Honestly, It was enough to really piss a guy off!

Fuck this crying like a baby shit! He wasn't a sissy faggot!

He had responsibilities now. It was time to grow up.

If he could fuck like a man, then he'd damn well better deal with the outcome like a man.

He was nothing like that chicken shit Jace Jhonston.

Justin had idolized the older senior all of his freshman year, well until almost the end of it...

The older boy had been the Quarterback of their football team, all four years.

Jace had been the creme of their private School crop, with Scholarships to any College in the country and some outside of it as well.

Both Justin and Daphne, hell the whole School, and the whole town had been in awe of Jace.

Anytime the team played an at home game, tickets were sold out, and the School's bright silver bleachers were jam packed with his adoring fans, both young and old.

He was talented, smart, handsome, and sexy as hell.

But, a shy little freshman named Kara Lance had paid the price of getting too close to the older boy's unknown destructive flame.

One night at a party, Jace had seduced Kara, fucking her without a condom, and had gotten her pregnant as a result of his thoughtlessness.

He'd later admitted in court, that he didn't like condoms as they put a kink in his style, and with a cock as big as his, it was hard to find one that fit. And when she'd refused to do it without one, he'd gotten mad and went ahead and fucked her anyway, calling her a prick tease, and smacking her around a bit.

For such a smart guy, Jace had sure hired a dumb lawyer. That little tidbit of information that the Prosecuting Attorney for the State had drug out of the smug boy had swayed the Jury even more, earning the cocky senior an extra sentence for rape and battery. When it had all be said and done, He'd be lucky if he saw freedom by age 90.

Kara told no one what had happened, what had been happening to her.

Not even her closest friend, Daphne Chanders.

But, Daphne had noticed things.

Just little stuff at first, and she had told her best friend Justin about her suspicions.

Justin had suggested that after gym class, (their last class of the day and the only class the girls had together) Daphne could try and get Kara to talk about stuff, just to see about, or to offer her any help.

Daphne tried, but the smaller girl avoided her.

She avoided everyone after what Jace had done in the School cafeteria one day.

With a big smile on her face, Kara had walked over to the Jock table, and had leaned over and whispered something into Jace's ear just as he was taking a bite of food.

After a look of astonishment covered his handsome face, his fork clattered to his food tray as one of pure thunder replaced it as he bellowed, “You fucking, conniving little CUNT!”

Jumping up out of his seat so fast his metal and plastic chair clattered to the floor, slamming into the table behind him, Jace grabbed her by the elbow as she tried to run away from the angry boy.

Spinning her around, he shook her harshly as he barked, “FUCK you KARA! I gave you money to get rid of it! I trusted you, you little bitch!” Lifting his hand, he slapped her hard in the face.

Sobbing, and now red faced with the imprint of his large hand shining for all to see, she shouted back, “NO, FUCK YOU JACE! It's MY baby too! I want to keep it, and I'm going to, you can't stop me you son ofa...”

But her words were given to the air, because Jace had run then, as he saw the approaching teachers someone had alerted, and their concerned faces quickly moving his way.

The whole room had dropped their jaws after seeing their 'Golden Boy's' true colors.

And soon the entire cafeteria was abuzz, with lines drawn in the sand.

Some were for Jace, and some were against him, and in the same way, the excited students dissected Kara as well.

Even the faculty felt the same.

After that scene, the way Kara used to light up when you mentioned Jace's name soon became dim.

That next day, the popular senior had shown up for his classes, acting like the incident had never occurred.

And, if you tried to talk to Kara, she would withdraw herself from the conversation the moment anyone mentioned his name in a mean way, or noticed a new bruise or bump on her small body.

A body now was swelling with Jace Jhonston's child.

Less than a week and a half later, no one could of predicted the devastation that her obsession would bring.
Daphne had been the one to find her, and Justin had found Daphne.

Never, if he lived to be a hundred years old. Never would he ever forget the icy chills that had slammed into him at seeing her that day.

Seeing all of that blood.

A sight forever burned in his brain.

At first, Justin had thought it was Daphne who had been shot, and his knees had grown weak as he stumbled toward her, fumbling for his cell phone, to dial 911.

But, when his eyes adjusted to the dimness of the locker room, he saw instead his Daphne, on her knees. Her slender frame trembling. The front of her school uniform normally crisp white shirt was now covered in Kara's blood, and tears and snot was streaming down her little face as she carefully cradled her friend's small head in her lap, mumbling softly and running her fingers through the girls blood-stained long blonde hair.

A small pool of bright red blood surrounded both teens, and when Justin looked down he saw he'd been stepping in it.

In the life that had once been an innocent baby.

In the life now pulsing out of an innocent girl with every beat of her heart.

A girl the same age as him and Daphne.

A girl he had grown up with had played hide-and-go-seek with. A girl he'd known since he was a small boy.

Forcing the rising bile to the back of his throat, Justin screamed into the small phone,
“FUCK! OH MY GOD HELP! THERE'S BEEN A SHOOTING! A GIRL, SHE'S BEEN, SHIT! SHE'S PREGNANT, SHE'S ONLY FIFTEEN! GET HERE! NOW!”

After giving them the address to the School, and their exact location inside it, Justin's cell phone slipped from his hand, skittered across the bloody floor, and came to rest at the edge of a bench.

His eyes went even wider, when Daphne lifted up the corner of her blazer that was covering Kara.

In a dull voice, Daphne had carefully explained to Justin that she knew to try and stop the bleeding. And she had used some clean white towels she'd found sitting on the bench to put in the large hole that Jace had made in Kara when he'd shot her in the stomach.

With no emotion what so ever, after Kara had again refused to abort their baby, he'd replied, “Fine. Pay the price then bitch. I won't let you fuck up MY future. By the time they find your body, it'll be too late...For you both.”

And he casually had pulled a gun from behind his back, pointed it at her stomach, and had pulled the trigger, twice. Then had spit on her fallen bloody body, and had walked out the back gym door.

She also knew that Kara was in shock, and needed to be kept warm, so she'd covered her with some more towels and her School jacket.

Had he returned, he would of shot Daphne too, just like the Prosecutor had gotten him to admit, once he got onto the witness stand.

Wiping her nose on her sleeve, causing the blood to smear on her face, Daphne quietly told Justin what she had over heard, and how she too could of ended up like Kara. But lucky for her, Jace had been so angry, he hadn't seen her standing there in the shadows when he'd first stormed in to confront Kara to abort the baby.

Knowing that Daphne herself was on the verge of shock, Justin hurriedly shrugged out of his own Blazer, and carefully covered her shaking shoulders.

Kneeling beside her, his arms wrapped tightly around her, his face is soon as wet and as messy as hers is.
And that's how the paramedics and the Police Officers found them that warm Spring day, huddled in the sticky pool of cold blood.

With wide eyes both teens watched horrified as their friend's heart crashed at the scene.

Holding onto each other tightly, they'd somehow gotten through the double funeral.

And, they both had testified against that son-of-a-bitch-Jace. And had not given a fuck at the shocked faces of the Judge, the Jury, or the other people in the courtroom when after hearing his 'found guilty your Honor' conviction read, had jumped up and down, arms wrapped tightly around each other shouting, “YES! "YES”

Telling himself that was then and this is now; Justin cleared his mind of the past. Carefully filing those horrid memories back into the shadows where they belonged.

What's done is done, and Justin would be damn sure he'd be a better father than that fuck up Jace Jhonston, or even Craig Taylor!

But, first things first.

Jumping to his feet, she's taken aback as suddenly he's now in her face, so close she feels his soft breath on her lips.

“Daphne Chanders!” He snarls, “Don't you even fucking DARE think of killing MY kid! How dare you! HOW COULD YOU! I thought we both agreed on the abortion issue! I mean fuck! After what we both saw Kara go through, YOU said, and, I thought YOU of all fucking people would be the LAST...”

Daphne's eyes go wide as the meaning of what he's just implied, what he's just said slams her hard in the heart.

Ripping jagged memories straight from the catacombs of her mind, thoughts best left buried. Reminders of something no amount of counseling could erase.

Ghostly bloodstains that will never wash clean.
How.
Dare.
Him.

“HOW DARE YOU!” She growls right back, her snapping brown eyes darkening and then narrow as she pokes a slender finger into his chest to move him back a bit, because she can hardly breathe, she's just SO damn hurt right now.

Angry tears gather and spill from her eyes as she quietly says, “How could you Jus? How long have we been friends? How in the HELL could you stand there and accuse me of, of...She was my friend! I'm the one that found her too! FUCK YOU JUSTIN! FUCK. YOU. After all that happened, I thought, I could have sworn you knew me better than that?”

She covers her mouth now, because she's afraid of what else she might say, and once out there, those harmful words could never be taken back.

Hugging her stomach carefully, she gives him a penetrating stare as she spits out, “I would NEVER harm MY child you, you, you bonehead!”

At his shocked look, she takes a deep breath before saying, “What I was trying to explain to you was simply this, I will leave town, I'll just disappear. I'll find work, and then, I'll have the baby, and then I'll put the baby into a daycare and then, I'll go on to College.”

Ignoring his darkening, icy blue glare, she gulps then continues.

“Because my parents have already given me the savings book for my education, and, and there is several thousand dollars in it...We'll be okay, you'll see...” her voice trails off as she watches him shake his blonde head in the negative.

Putting both hands on her slender hips she snarls, “What? What now Justin?”

When he continues to just glare at her, she throws her hands up in the air and starts to leave.

His arm shoots out so quickly it scares her.

The sudden action slamming her thoughts back to a long ago scene.

Closing her eyes slowly, she's chanting inside her mind, “Justin isn't Jace, Justin isn't Jace.”

Bringing her right back up to his face he softly says, “Oh, I see. You think you can drop a bomb on me like this, throw a hissy fit, start our first REAL fight, then decide what's what for me and OUR child in the space of what a few minutes?”

Tilting his blonde head, he smirks then asks her, “SO, YOU think what you've come up with is what is best for us all, and now, you're just gonna stomp off like some toddler in a tantrum when I don't agree? hmm? I don't think so missy. Daph, open your eyes and look at me dammit.”

Looking up into his beautiful and oh so angry blue eyes, Daphne stutters, “Jus, I'm, s...sorry, I was...” Taking a gulp of air she tries again, but he places a finger on her lips, smiles a cold little smile and replies, “Sorry's bullshit Daph.”

“SUNSHINE!” Screeches Debbie, “Get your little bubble butt back in here, NOW! I'm knee deep in pink plate specials! Fuck, that's gotta the longest fuckin' 15 minute smoke break in history!”

Rolling his eyes, Justin shouts back, “I'll be right there Deb!”

Looking intently at Daphne he asks, “Have you told anybody about this?”

At her negative headshake, he breathes a sigh of relief. Gathering his startled best friend into a quick hug, he whispers into her soft curly hair, “It'll be okay Daph, I've got a plan, but, you can't tell anyone, not your parents or your friends, and I won't either okay?”

Pulling back to look deeply into her perplexed gaze he tells her, “You know what our parents would do, will do if they found out the truth, what they will suggest.”

At her sad little nod, he moves her hand with his to place them on the tiny swell of her abdomen.

Softly he says, “Promise me Daph, promise me on our baby's life that you won't tell a soul!”

“SUNSHINE!”

“Shit. Look, Daph, I gotta go. Promise me!”

As azure eyes beseechingly search cinnamon brown ones, two friends look deep into each other’s souls.

“I promise Jus.” She breathes, knowing things will be okay and she won't be in this all alone after all.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Justin grins a sunny smile at her, quickly kissing her on her forehead, and says over his shoulder, as he’s running back into the diner, “Meet me here at 10:00 tonight We'll talk more then, okay?”

“K” She says, “Cya then.”

Protectively touching her tummy, she whispers, “It'll be okay little baby, your Daddy's got a plan.”