Giving In

It was reluctantly that I had taken a shower, knowing that the water and soap would kill any of his scent still filling my nostrils from the embrace we had shared before he left. However, I knew that if I didn’t, there would be no way I’d ever get to sleep. The evening had been perfect - always like I had imagined it to be and then some. His kiss was what had surprised me most. So powerful even when gentle. I could only imagine what a more lingering kiss from his lips would feel like.

Slipping into my tank top and cotton pajama pants, I pulled my unruly curls up into a clip before heading into the kitchen to start the kettle. It was then that I heard my cell phone chirping from inside my handbag.

“Hello?” I answered, almost positive it was the lab saying I needed to come in.

“Sara, it’s me.”

The sound of his voice excited me as I felt the chills covering my body. “Hi, you,” I said, almost positive he could hear the smile in my voice. “You just left here, what - 20 minutes ago?”

“Yes, and that is why I’m calling. This car - this brand new car…” I could hear him struggling to find the words, “…it won’t turn over. I can’t get it to crank to save my life. I’ve called for a tow, but they said it will be over an hour before they can get here to pick it up. Do you mind if I…”

I cut him off. “Sure, you can come up here and wait.”

“Good,” he said, “Because I’m standing in front of your door right now.” I heard his light rapping on the door, and looked through the peephole like I had earlier in the evening. I guess he could sense that I was looking at him, because he threw his hand up in a slight wave.

Opening the door, I smiled at him, the salt and pepper waves atop his head mussed from where I was sure he’d ran his fingers through it in frustration. “Come in, make yourself at home.” I said as I watched him close the door behind him and lock the deadbolt. "Do you want a some tea?” I stopped by the dining table and smelled his daisies on the way to the kitchen as he settled onto the corner of the sofa.

“That would be great.”

I stood at the stove, waiting for the kettle to boil as I made myself take slow, deep breaths, lecturing myself about staying cool and keeping things under control. I still jumped when the kettle whistled, but it made me laugh instead of scaring me. It was then that I noticed my reflection in the glass sliding door and remembered that I was in my pajamas. Oh well, I thought, he didn’t run away when I opened the door. I was thankful that at least the tank had a built in bra.

I poured the tea into two huge mugs and headed back toward the couch, handing him his cup before sitting down a cushion away from him.

Noticing that he had propped his feet on the coffee table, I mimicked his position and we sat quietly, sipping our tea for what felt like ages. He leaned forward and put his mug on the table, then softly said my name without looking at me. I turned my head to face him just as he met my eyes, and he held out his left hand to me and whispered. “Come here.”

I took my feet off the table and turned sideways on the couch, facing him full on. “Why?”

“Because I’d like to kiss you, and I can’t do it from this far away.”

I took his hand and scooted across the space between us, eager to kiss him, but nervous about what it might lead to. I wasn’t sure I could trust myself to behave.

Leaning into him slightly, I felt his arm snake around my shoulders as his lips grazed my forehead first, working their way down the bridge of my nose before enveloping my mouth. Again, he was gentle, his lips gently nursing mine. We broke apart only long enough to breathe when he pulled me in closer, this time his lips applying a little more pressure. It was heavenly torture as I felt his tongue gently tap at my bottom lip, begging for entrance. I complied, and felt the warm rush cover my body as his tongue invaded my mouth, its movements expertly punching all the right buttons to render me breathless. I felt his arms envelop me as his hands began to linger up and down my back.

Pulling away, I opened my mouth to speak, but he rested his finger over my lips before I could think of what to say. I kissed his finger gently, resisting the urge to take it into my mouth. “Gil…what’s happening?” I knew what I was feeling, and that was complete and total arousal.

“Oh God, Sara…” I watched as he looked up at me, a caring, concerned look upon his face.

I stammered for what to say next. “Gil, believe me, it isn’t that I don’t want you. That’s not the issue—thoughts of you have been keeping me awake for months - years. I just don’t want us to make a mistake, I don’t want us to be sorry. I just think it’s too soon.”

“I know,” he said softly. “I’m grateful for your self-control, especially after hearing you say you want me—that’s the most exciting thing I think I’ve ever heard.” He cupped my chin in his hand and lowered his head, stopping just short of my lips and whispering, “okay?”

“Very okay. Now shut up.” I leaned toward him and kissed him quickly, then pulled back and met his eyes.

I laced my fingers behind his head and pulled his head toward me, attacking his mouth with mine, catching him by surprise. We sat like that for several minutes, our bodies hardly touching but our mouths devouring each other, until I felt his hands slide around my waist as he pulled me into his lap. Everything from that point on was new between us, and so exciting that we were both breathless almost right away.

His hands ran down my back, then up my arms, the warmth of his skin transferring through the thin cotton of my tank as I ran my fingers through the hair at the back of his neck. I slipped my hands inside the open collar of his shirt and stroked the skin underneath with my fingertips, pulling my mouth from his just long enough to wrap my lips around his Adam’s apple. I couldn’t help but smile to myself when I felt, rather than heard, him growl under my mouth.

Next it was my turn to purr as Gil found the bare skin of my shoulders, his hands kneading away all the tension that I was sure was there. His hands then worked down
my back; his lips worked along my jaw line until they met my earlobe, which he took into his mouth and sucked.

He sighed into my ear, then whispered, “I can’t believe I’m finally touching you...like this...” I turned my head so his mouth was on mine again for another deep kiss, sucking his lower lip between my teeth and nibbling at it.

I lowered my hands to his waist and, still kissing him, grasped the sides of his shirt and pulled until the neatly-tucked tails were loose and I could finally touch the smooth skin of his back, moving my hand along his smooth skin, matching the motion of his hands on mine. I ran my index fingernail from his neck down his spine to the small of his back, making him shudder as he tightened his hands, which were now massaging up and down my spine, then moving outward, each time lingering closer to my sides. I could hear his breathing becoming shallow; almost labored. I wanted him to touch me more than anything. The warmth of his hands on my back was intoxicating enough. If he were to move his hands around to the front of my torso, I was sure that I would die on spot. I was just about to ask him what he was waiting for when he abruptly took his hands off me and slid me off his lap, then stood up.

I felt colder instantly, and looked up. “What’s wrong…?”

He just shook his head as he bent and picked up a throw pillow from the floor and dropped it against the sofa arm, smiling down at me. Hoping I was reading his intentions right, I watched his face as I lay back and rested my head on the pillow, relieved when he nodded slightly, then bent and picked up my legs, turning my body until I was completely stretched out on my back.

He sat on the edge of the sofa beside my hip and leaned over me, brushing his lips softly against my jaw. “Is this okay? Are you comfortable?”

I didn’t answer, but reached out and slid my hands back under his shirt at the back, pulling him down to kiss me again. His hands cradled either side of my face, holding my mouth open for a deep kiss but softly caressing the skin along my jaw at the same time. His right hand slipped from the side of my face, down my side and to the hem of my tank, his fingers gently invading the skin beneath its hem. His left hand tickled at the right side of my neck as he lowered his head to plant kisses and warm little nibbles all along the left side and my left shoulder. He sighed against my neck when I moved my hands around to his stomach, tangling my fingers in the curly hair around his navel before I reached up, dragging my nails across his ribs, then placing my palms flat against either side of his chest.

I could tell that he was trying to decide whether to chance pushing my shirt any higher, so I reached down and took his hand with mine, gently lifting it to give his hand access to my stomach. He looked up at me and was so obviously surprised I had to laugh.

“I trust you.” It was all I could think to say, and I was happy to see that his face bore a smile.

I felt his hand slide up my side, stopping well short of my breast. “God, Sara, you’re gorgeous.”

I noticed for the first time the heedful look in his blue eyes as I looked up at him—they were absolutely beautiful, but almost frightening in their intensity. He raised an eyebrow at me for just a moment, then stretched out on the sofa facing me. I dropped my arm over his waist and slid my hand back under his shirt, and he ran a hand down my back and to my waist, pulling me gently into his body. When he had been sitting on the edge of the sofa his position had hidden how excited he was, but it was entirely obvious now, and he groaned into my mouth as he kissed me again.

He growled again, deep in his throat, and tore his mouth from mine. After locking his eyes on mine for what felt like days, he quickly kissed the tip of my nose, then dropped his head and closed his lips over the nape of my neck. The heat of his mouth transferred instantly through my skin, and I couldn’t help myself - I arched my back, ran my fingers up his back and through his hair, and moaned his name aloud.

He just about jumped off the couch. “That’s it. We have to stop. NOW.”

He stood in front of me, his very obvious erection tenting the front of his now rumpled khakis. “I can’t touch you anymore, I can’t let you touch me again. I’m so sorry. It’s my fault—I should never have let things get so far tonight. It just felt so good when you were touching me. But we just can’t do this tonight. I want to, but we can’t.”

“I know.” I said, hoping that I had veiled my disappointment.

He sat on the coffee table, facing me, and lifted my chin so that I had to meet his eyes. “It kills me to say so, but I think it’s for the best.” At that moment, his cell phone rang, and he quickly reached into his pocket to answer. I sat quietly in front of him as I waited for him to finish his conversation, my mind still reeling from the events of the last hour.

“That was AAA…they’re here to take my car.”

He stood and took my hands, pulling me to my feet. “Sara, please don’t think awfully of me. I got carried away, and I guess…well I should leave while I can still walk.”

As I followed him to the door, he looked over his shoulder and asked, “How about lunch tomorrow?”

I was shocked, because we had just made plans for Sunday, but there was no way I was going to say no to seeing him again so soon. “Lunch would be great. Just tell me where and when.”

“About one o’clock? I’ll pick you up.”

I smiled. “OK, sir. One o’clock it is.”

He grinned back at me, his head tilting slightly. “You wouldn’t call me ‘sir’ if you could see what’s in my head.” Kissing me lightly on the lips, he whispered. “Thanks for a great evening.”