If You Ever Leave Me

Chapter Two - A Blast from the Not So Recent Past

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Attributions: Spot Ch 23 resultant situation (Sara leaves Grissom,
taking their child) – MS. Grits aka Princess Grits. The characters of
Melanie, Matthew & Claire Grissom are the property of MS. Grits. The
characters of Gilbert Aaron Grissom, Sara Anne Sidle, James Brass,
Catherine Willows, Nick Stokes, Warrick Brown and other members of CIS
LV; all belong to Alliance Productions, Zuicker, Mendelsohn, CBS and
all that jazz.


Summary: What it was that prompted Gil's drastic moves in Chapter One.

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Gil had driven a hundred miles. He hadn't really thought about why he
was now in this truck driving north, leaving behind his life in Vegas
for quite awhile. The last four weeks had been a whirlwind of
activity making arrangements and clearing up the loose threads of his
life. It was so like him having made a decision to charge ahead and
accomplish the tasks planned.

But now, the events precipitating this abandonment of Las Vegas came
back to him full force. He could contemplate with detachment this
drastic turn of his life's course.

**** Flashback ****

Six Weeks Ago…

That was the day Melanie had shown up. His first wife. She had told
him that their first divorce was not valid. She had come with new
paperwork for him to sign. He wished that she had sent the papers to
him at work. Or to his lawyers in Vegas.

But he guessed she couldn't resist a reunion of sorts, maybe she had
the feeling that he was now with the woman that had precipitated the
breakdown of their marriage.

Regardless of the motives, it had been a final straw. Words were said
regarding truthfulness and trust and while Sara had not said she
wouldn't leave him she hadn't said she would stay. Gil was certain
that she didn't walk out the door immediately because of Claire their
daughter.

They had both eventually gone to bed together; but Grissom's dreams
had been haunted by visions of him running down endless hallways
yelling for Sara and Claire. But no matter how many doors he opened
or which way he turned, he never found them.

When he woke in the morning, he knew it before he confirmed that Sara
had left. The house felt strangely empty and quiet. Walking through
the house, he knew he wouldn't find Sara or Claire. He went into the
nursery, all Claire's things were gone. The only thing left hanging
in the closet was the wedding dress that Sara had intended to wear at
their planned nuptials.

"Planned nuptials. Right!" Gil muttered bitterly. `What now?', he
thought. `What now?' He wandered into the kitchen and found the note
from Sara.

*/

Gil,

I have taken an emergency leave. Claire and I will be at the B&B.
I am not sure exactly what I am feeling. I am not angry as much as I
am hurt and frightened that you were able to lie to me from almost the
instant we met.

We are not easy people, Gil. I am probably as much as fault as
you are. I don't know if I want you to call or to visit. I supposed I
should have thought about that before I had a baby with you.

Love,

I do love you.

Sara


(Our Spot. MS Grits. Chapter 23)/*

He stumbled into the living room. "She's gone. They are gone." He
started to sob. He went to his liquor cabinet and ripped the door off
and flung it in the direction of the kitchen. He grabbed several
bottles and a glass and stumbled into Claire's room.

He had several bottles of Maker's Mark, two of Vodka, and three
special single malt whiskeys. Before he started to drink, he found
his cell phone and called in a large order to liquor store he normally
used. He waited for the delivery. When the men came, he had them
stack the crates in his daughter's room.

"Having a party, Mr. Grissom", one of the drivers queried.

"You could say that", Gil muttered. He gave them a large tip and
locked the front door. He planned on getting as drunk as a skunk.
He knew he didn't have to be back to work for at least three days.
Maybe by then, he'd be able to decide what to do.

His last coherent thoughts as he twisted off the cap of the first
bottle were whether he should ever let her behind his walls. He knew
regardless of what happened next, that he now regretted this simple
act of loving someone. Loving the one person who could destroy him.
What had he done?


He didn't even now recall much of those four days. He was totally
drunk. He remembered working his way through a case and a half of
Maker's Mark. He thought he remembered throwing the empties against
the wall in the closet of Claire's room. The glass shards cutting the
wedding dress to ribbons. He thought he remembered laughing
hysterically after each empty shattered.

On the fourth day when he hadn't gone into work or called in, Cath had
come to his house. The whole house had reeked of the smell of stale
alcohol. She had found the note in kitchen. She walked slowly
through the silent house unsure what she would find. She heard the
crash of breaking glass and she hurried in the direction of Claire's
room.

The smell and the destruction made her ready to vomit. It was
apparent that Grissom had done that several times already. It was
probably the only reason he hadn't died from alcohol poisoning. The
room was totally trashed.

Cath saw Grissom slumped at one end of the room laughing hysterically
and not making a good deal of sense.

"Oh my God, Gil. What have you done?" Cath said. She planned to
lift him and get him into the bathroom, into the shower but she wasn't
having any luck and Grissom was doing nothing to help. "What the hell
am I going to do?" Cath said. "Matthew!" She dialed Griss's
brother's phone number on her cell phone. She quickly gave him the
facts and told him to hurry over.

Within fifteen minutes, Gil's half brother, Matthew was knocking on
the door.

"Matthew, oh I am so glad you've come. We have a real situation here.
Sara has taken Claire and left for California. Gil has been drinking
for four days now. God, I hope we don't have to call the paramedics.
Please help me get him into the bathroom." With Matthew's help, they
maneuvered Gil into the shower. Matthew turned on the shower and
began trying to get Gil cleaned up. Cath went through the house to
see if anything else need to be cleaned up.

`OK,' she thought. `It's just Claire's room. Now how do I clean this
up…Crime Scene Cleanup…' She remembered that company that a former
suspect they had cleared set up to clean crime scenes of blood and
other bodily fluids.

`Surely, they could take care of a little liquor and vomit. And they
were discreet. Gil certainly didn't need any more trouble from the
lab.' She could hear various obscenity laced outbursts from the
bathroom.

`Sounds like Gil is waking up and being cleaned up.' In a few short
hours, Crime Scene Cleanup had come removed the drywall, the carpets
and what furniture could be salvaged. They had set up their special
filtered fans to clear the air without announcing to the neighborhood
that the Grissom's had been turned temporarily into the neighborhood
bar.

They told Cath they would be back in a couple of days to restore the
inside of the room. Within a week you would never be able to tell
that anything had happened she was assured.

Matthew had managed to get Grissom bundled into his bed. He threw out
the clothes he had been wearing; the clothes were totally
unsalvageable. Grissom was finally asleep.

Cath and Matthew were sitting in the living room drinking some much
deserved cups of coffee.

"Well, Matthew. What now?" Cath queried. "What now."

"Did you find out what happened?" Matthew responded.

"Well, the gist of the story is Gil was married before…about the time
he first met Sara. A woman name Melanie, she was a medieval historian.
Why he married her isn't entirely clear. But she filed for divorce
shortly after he came back from Boston. However, her lawyer didn't
file the divorce papers and it appears all these years that Grissom
was still married to her."

"After an IRS audit, she discovered the problem and had come by with
new papers for Gil to sign. Knowing Gris he'd compartmentalized this
part of his personal history just like he does all unpleasant issues.
Sara found out and the two of them had a blowup about trust and she
took the baby and left the next morning. So I guess Gil decided to
drown his sorrows and went on one hell of a bender. And here we are…"

"But what do we do? Or rather should we even advise Gil?" Matthew
asked. "Sometimes helping is worse than doing nothing at all. Maybe
we should just provide support. After all, those two need to work out
what kind of relationship they want to have. We can't hold their
hands the rest of their lives."

"I know. I know. I've been around Gil for almost twenty years.
I've looked out for him. I've supported him. I've bugged him. I've
tried to help him connect with Sara. Who knows if I hadn't been
married to Eddie at the time; I might have gone after him myself. But
I wonder now whether I've helped or hindered him all these years…I
often wonder why he's so scared of commitment. You can only go so far
with him and then you run smack into this last wall. I wonder if even
Sara will breach that wall." Cath shook her head sadly.

"I think maybe we should just keep an eye on him for a couple of days.
Make sure he doesn't drink. Let the situation decompress a little.
Look, Cath you go back to work; I'll talk to Sofia and spend the next
day here. We see how he is when he wakes up. OK?" Matthew offered.

"Sounds like the best we can or should do for now. Thanks a lot
Matthew." Cath replied. She gathered up her things and went back to
work.

Matthew checked his watch and remembered an appt he had to go to.
`Hell,' He thought. `No way he'll be awake for a couple of hours…I
can get back before he wakes up.' Matthew hurried out the door.

Unfortunately, Gil woke up fifteen minutes after Matthew left. He
felt terribly nauseous and staggered to the bathroom to throw up
again. After washing his face and hands, he staggered to the kitchen
and warmed up the coffee sitting in the pot. The same questions
crossed his mind that bothered Cath and Matthew earlier.

Gil sat on the couch pondering his next move. He remembered the
thoughts that raced through his mind as he had begun to drink. He
figured he would have an hour before Matthew or Cath came back.
First, he called a friend to have the liquor stashed safely away.
Everything including the wine was gone within twenty-five minutes.
Next he put into a call to his lawyer, Geoffrey Connor, to setup an
appointment for tomorrow.

When Matthew came back, he saw that Gil was asleep in the bedroom. He
was surprised that all the liquor was gone, but figured Cath had come
back and arranged to have it removed for Gil's safety. He settled on
the couch and waited for Gil to wake up.