Search my soul

Sam looked at the intruder with annoyance clearly evident in her character. Her shoulders hunched and trembled slightly as she struggled to control herself. Her expression softened however, once she got her first anger-free look at the young girl now standing nervously before her. Standing up slowly, Sam took full advantage of the situation and stretched to her full height. This wasn’t actually that intimidating considering that she was only 5ft 5, but it seemed to work, the girl laughed nervously, before raising her hands as a sign of peace.

“Hey, I am really sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and you know, I was thinking about lunch, and how the cafeteria lady is serving meat loaf today, and I so can’t eat it, being as I’m a vegetarian and all, and I didn’t bring lunch from home, because my mom had a dental appointment, because she has this like, huge ulcer in her cheek and…” The babbling student took a deep breath, at which Sam took the opportunity to cut in.

“Whoa, hold on”. Sam replied in amusement as the girl started to open her mouth again. “It’s fine, really. I wasn’t looking where I was going either. Forget about it”. The jittery female closed her mouth, seeming to compose herself. Once she was settled, her lips turned up into a suspicious smile.

“I haven’t seen you around before. Are you new here?” Sam exhaled loudly before answering.

“Yeah, I just transferred today”.

“That’s great”, the girl exclaimed, then looked around quickly to see who had noticed her sudden outburst. “I’m Lily. Lily Esposito”, she offered her hand for a shake. “You can just consider me the welcome wagon. It is, by great honour, that I wish you a very happy entrance in to Kennedy High”.
Sam eyed the young Latina carefully, as she shook her hand firmly.

“Sam McPherson. And thanks”.
As the bell rang again, Sam took out her schedule and noticed she had a free period; she said her goodbyes to Lily and then headed off towards the stairs.

Being as she was new, the troubled teen had no idea where one should spend this time away from class, but instincts told her that she should probably just head to the library. After the task of finding the room, she entered and headed straight to the fiction section. Reading had always been another of Sam’s biggest hobbies, when she wasn’t spending her time doing the writing herself, she loved to lose herself in the worlds that others had created. After browsing for a few minutes, but not seeing anything of interest, she settled down at a nearby table with a worn out copy of “Romeo and Juliet”. As she traced the cover with her fingers, a scowl crossed her features. This book was usually classed as one of the most beautiful stories ever told. Did everyone skip the fact that it was actually entitled “The tragedy of Romeo and Juliet”? This wasn’t a happy story, one that made you put down the book with a big goofy smile on your face. These people died. They died because they couldn’t get the acceptance from their families that they desperately needed. Although she had to admit, it was strangely romantic. Romeo was willing to do anything he could to be with the one he loved, and in turn, Juliet was feeling exactly the same way. They would go to any extreme to be together, even facing death. How many people of today’s world can say that they would honestly die to be with someone, even if it meant risking everything that they were brought up to know as normal. Sam sighed; she was suddenly starting to see why everyone thought the story was so deep. She flipped open the book to a random page and held it in front of her face. Letting her gaze travel around her surroundings, taking in the musky smell of the library, it was clearly the scent of aging books. The room itself reminded Sam of dusk; it seemed the sun was setting outside even though it was shining vibrantly, caused by the effect it was making through the tattered blinds. And in the rays that had managed to break through, she noticed small particles of dust floating around. She took out a small notebook and rested her chin on her arms, her tongue automatically started pressing against the inside of her left cheek, as it always seemed to when she entered complex thought. Her eyes closed momentarily before she began to scribble words messily onto the open page beneath her.

Chase away the shadows,
They consume my every thought,
Between the sheets of memory,
As I lay dreaming,
But not sleeping.
Help me defeat the demons,
That hunt my waking steps.
To slip into your heaven,
Rest my heart in your embrace.

Sam slammed the notebook shut and dropped her pen hastily, rubbing her eyes in defeat; she replaced Romeo and Juliet and left the library. She checked her watch and noticed in slight anxiousness that there were just 5 minutes remaining until lunch. She decided to use the time wisely, and start to make her way to the cafeteria, at least that way she would be able to get her food quickly and also find a seat.

As she entered the large room, students were milling around, seemingly doing nothing. She headed straight to where a few of them were congregated around the serving area, trays in hand at the ready. The brunette quickly copied them, grasping to her own tray as she struggled to balance her book bag at the same time. As a few minutes past, the cafeteria suddenly became a mass of activity; it looked as if the entire population of L.A was huddled into the large space that now interestingly, seemed much too small. Inch by inch, Samantha got closer to the woman serving the food, and the closer she got, the more sick she felt in her stomach. Something told her she should bring her own lunch from home in the future, if the scent reaching her nose were any warning of what was to come. Finally it was her turn. She eyed the food cautiously, and then reluctantly mumbled to the cook and pointed to her choice.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you”, said a worried voice from behind her. Sam turned around and came face to face with a tall lanky boy.

“Why not?” She asked, her voice dripping with confusion.

“Nobody knows what’s in that lasagne, and when you ask the cook, she won’t say a word”. The guy replied, his tone soft as he realised that the girl he was speaking to was a newbie.

“Uh, thanks” Sam murmured, before turning back to the eager cook, “I think I’ll skip lunch today”.
She returned her tray back to the pile, and headed towards an empty table. She reclined into the chair the best she could, and pulled out her walkman. After she had fixed the headphones tightly to her ears, she pressed play and let the chords of a heavy rock song dissolve all the mindless chatter of her peers. She was just getting into the feel of the lyrics, about to stretch her body some more, when she suddenly felt the presence of someone to her right. She looked over curiously and her eyes fell upon the girl she had bumped into earlier.

“Hey Sam, remember me?”
Sam nodded as she pulled the headphones from her head, and let them hang loosely around her neck. Two more people sat down opposite her, and she regarded them with a small smile. Looking at the two, she quickly recognised the boy from the lunch queue.

“I see you’ve met Harrison”, Lily remarked, pointing at the guy and smiling at how his eyes were drawn to Sam’s face.

“He’s the token boy in our little gang”, this voice was new to Sam, it was bubbly, and held a hint of teasing.

“That’s Carmen”, Lily laughed, pointing at the brunette sitting next to Harrison. Sam looked from the young man, who was shooting daggers at his friends, to Carman, who had a devious smile playing on her features. “This is Sam McPherson. She’s new here, so I thought we’d better save her before the darkness that is Nicole Julian gets her mucky claws on her, and turns her into another menace of our society”. She turned to the quiet brunette and gave her a broad grin.
Handshakes were engaged in, and a little more introduction, before the three friends settled into routine chit chat, and once again Sam was left alone with her thoughts.

Although she had known them for approximately ten minutes, as Sam watched the group interacting intently, she concluded that they were exactly the kind of people she needed in her life. She watched on, fascinated by the actions surrounding her, smiling to herself as Carmen leant over slightly, resting her head on Harrison’s shoulder. Her smirk widened as Lily picked up a French frie from her plate and rein-acted the “train” that parents take on to convince small children to eat. She completed the impression with dramatic “chugs” and “woots”. The food disappeared into Carmen’s awaiting mouth and she munched happily, head still using her companion for support. They seemed so comfortable in each other’s company, and Sam respected them for that. She continued to gaze on enviously, remembering that she too, once held such fellowship. They genuinely cared for each other, unlike the friend’s Sam had left behind, when she had needed them the most, as she began falling into herself, she had turned to the people claiming to care for her, asking them to pull her free from the black cloud enveloping her, and in her time of dependence, they had walked away. Maybe if she had received a little more support, Sam would not be in the state she was now.

Her mind snapped back to reality and her chocolate coloured eyes widened as she witnessed the small fiery Latina lean forward, and slap Harrison hard over the head.

“What have we told you about that girl?” Sam stayed quiet, and watched on shocked as Lily demanded answers from the lanky boy, who was now rubbing his forehead,

“Yeah Harry, she’s just like the rest of them”. Carmen added steadily, she knew from experience that she shouldn’t disagree with Lily when the small girl was in a state of rage, and from the evidence of the violence previously used, the girl was pissed.

“No. She’s different”. Harrison whispered, causing Sam and the other girl’s to give him their full attention. Lily raised an eyebrow in disbelief, and Sam prepared herself for another outburst. She looked at the boy desperately trying to make his statement sound convincing, even to himself, his tall, thin frame coated in pale skin, topped with a handsome face. And his eyes, such deep brown. The kind of eyes that held so much emotion, for an onlooker walking past, one would guess that he and Sam were siblings. They both held such powerful stares, equipped with copious amounts of strength, but at the same time, everyone’s happiness was put before their own. The dazing brunette felt sorry for the boy, they were so alike, and yet so different, he could keep a hold on the people special to him, whereas she just let them fade away. Carmen grinned and Sam just shot a questioning look at them all.

“Ok, ok. Maybe she’s not different. Maybe she is just as much of a bitch as the rest of them. But maybe”, he paused, as if for dramatic effect. “I can change her”.

A harsh laugh came from the right before the impulsive brunette spoke slowly, trying to get her point across to the lovesick boy. “She has never even spoken to you in a kind way. She doesn’t bless you with an ounce of attention, unless it’s to insult the way you look, or you’re dress sense, she even disses the food you eat. God, she’s absolutely horrible to the entire student body, more importantly us, your friends, and you think you can change her?” Harrison nodded, causing the auburn haired girl next to him to shake her head.

“Harrison John”, Carmen started, “You are a lost cause, and she will never change. She is doomed to be the same heinous, hypocritical, socially obsessed bully. I bet she doesn’t know how to be anything else”.

“I can’t help it guys, I know her behaviour towards us has been appalling. But, there’s just something about her”. His explanation sounded more like an apology, and Sam could relate to the tone he took easily. Once again, he was sacrificing his own feelings for those of the people he cared for.

“Brooke McQueen is, and always will be a complete and utter bitch; she hasn’t got one nice fibre in her entire being”. Carmen spoke with finality, letting her audience know that the subject at hand was now closed.

The rest of lunch was eaten in silence, and Sam took the moment of peace to regard each person carefully. Even though there was an unmistakable amount of tension in the air, Lily seemed to be at ease after her little blow out. Her elbow was propped up on the table, and her head lay easily in her left hand, as the right brought food to her mouth, where she chewed it lazily. The watchful brunette decided that the reason for the girl’s serenity was probably because, in her mind, she had just won that little disagreement.

Carmen seemed a little nervous, her eyes skirted between both her friends, and Sam was sure she could detect a small amount of fear when her green eyes stopped on the fire ball sitting beside her. When her gaze found its way to Harrison however, it softened considerably, turning into what seemed to be a protective mode. A look plastered itself on her features that could only be described as wistful.

And Harrison, Sam found the boy intrigued her. She recognized something in him, something about the way he advertised himself seemed so familiar, and then the likeness became visual to her. Harrison was Sam. He was the male version of her, he was the part of herself that she had let slip away; he was her, two years ago. As she came to this very bizarre admission, she suddenly had the urge to grab onto the dark haired boy, embrace him in a death grip, and never let go.

Her brow furrowed as she replayed the previous discussion, or lack of, on Harrison’s part. Brooke McQueen. Who was this girl, and why did Lily and Carmen detest her so much? They didn’t seem to be the kind of folk to hold a grudge, Carmen especially; the plump girl appeared to be one of the most kind-hearted people Sam had ever encountered. Her face fell further into a dark scowl; Brooke McQueen must be one hell of a monster.


The three confidents entered the room slowly, with Sam trailing behind, listening as they all laughed at something Harrison had said. Lily and Carmen suddenly branched off, going to sit at a lab table. The teenage boy who had previously been walking in front of her slowed his pace so he was now side by side with the new girl, turning to her with hopeful eyes.

“Be my lab partner?” He asked desperately. “I have to sit with Nicole Julian. Please Sam, every lesson she tries to either spill hydrochloric acid onto my lap, blind me by burning magnesium ribbon at a close vantage point, or even, last week, she lit some form of organic peroxide and dropped it down my shirt, I still have the burn marks. And hello, did someone forget to tell her that this is biology? What’s she doing with those substances anyway?”

“Snorting them?” Sam chuckled. “Sure I’ll sit with you. Lead the way”.
Harrison beamed and hugged the shocked girl quickly, mumbling his forever grateful thanks. As her rear came into contact with the lab stool, a flash of white breezed past, leaving the distinct smell of formaldehyde in its wake.

“Right Maggots, as you have all been sentenced to another pleasant period with me, I have thought up a lovely activity for all to participate in. To celebrate the arrival of my new lab rat”, the teacher’s glare scanned the room. “McPherson! Raise your hand”. When Sam slowly put up the limb in question, she continued. “Oh, there you are. Here’s a question for all you worthless runts. If you have an even number of students, and you throw a revengeful teacher in the mix, what does it equal? What no guesses? I’ll tell you then. Seating plan!”

A collective chorus of groans proceeded Ms. Glass’s proclamation, and a few students started to howl their disapproval. All protests failed miserably though as Ms. Glass delivered her next set of commands.

“Shut your traps. Now, being as I’m not as easily amused by seating plans as other teachers, I have decided on a simple categorization. Alphabetical. Now, when I call out your names, move to the corresponding lab bench. Simple. Table one, Bernadino, and Bryans. Following the seats forward from there. Cherry and Esposito, and don’t even think about opening that little trouble making mouth of yours Lily”.

“But she tried to kill me last time I sat with her”. Lily begged, sending a fearful glance at Mary Cherry, who just winked in response.

“Move!” Glass bellowed, as the frightened girl reluctantly did as she was told, “Ferrara and Ferguson. Fresh and Ford. Now, next row, starting from the back, and hurry it up people. John with Julian. McPherson and McQueen”. As the list went on, and students noisily shuffled around her, Sam grieved inwardly. Guess she was going to experience what a state Brooke manipulated people into first hand. Sighing to herself as she walked to the vacant work bench, she gathered her courage for the verbal bashing, which she was not going to take without giving as much as she got.

“It’s gonna be a long year”. She mumbled under breath.