One Night Changes Everything

Natalie stiffened as John walked into the room. In no way was she prepared to face him yet. More than ever – now- she had painted herself into a corner. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Monk straighten as John entered.

Natalie knew that Monk didn’t trust John, and knew that Monk had no real reason to distrust John so strongly.

Pleasantly surprised, Natalie watched John act completely professional as he entered the room to give Leland a file.

“Captain! This' the file you wanted on Millenium Discoveries. Found out that the President of the company is one Misha Maximov. “

With that John’s eyes glanced briefly at Natalie and then back at the captain.

“Thanks John.” Stottlemeyer said with his deep voice as he leaned over to take the file into his hand.

John again glanced at Natalie with a small smile on his face and then turned and left the office.

Natalie watched him leave. After last night she would have expected him to avoid her like the plague.

He probably thinks you’re psychotic!!

Monk on the other hand……had watched her the entire time that John was in the room.

Natalie had stared at him the whole time. His insides felt like they were burning as he continued to watch her stare at John.

Of course he said nothing, instead just looked away and down at the photo once more.

Concentrating on the case was what he really needed to do…..but the image of Natalie kissing John seemed to haunt him. Not to mention the way she continued to look at him.

A grimace came on his face.

What’s the matter with me?! Why does the sight of him kissing her bother me so much??

Monk denied the sudden tiny little voice in his head that told him exactly why it ‘bothered’ him.

For the rest of the duration that they stayed at the station Monk barely spoke. Natalie had just assumed it was because of last night…but it wasn’t.

Adrian Monk’s mind was not concentrating on the details of the case. Adrian Monk wasn’t even thinking about the case.

All he could think about was the little voice in his head. What it was saying……it was impossible….it couldn’t be right!!

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When they finally left the precinct Natalie couldn’t help but stare at him. Something was wrong……more than what she had suspected. Monk was not a man that allowed others to discuss a case and not disagree with the theories that were horribly wrong.

During the meeting with Stottlemeyer Monk had said absolutely nothing. Natalie had noticed right away that Monk’s mind was not on the case. He seemed……god…he seemed lost.

Instead of trying to talk him out of his stupor……Natalie just drove the car in complete silence. Worry filled her……worry that maybe what she said last night had caused this.

But……he had acted normal until John walked into the room. Suddenly her mind began to click together that something happened when John walked in…something that would cause him…

Natalie suddenly closed her eyes for a brief moment as she figured what she had done. The whole time John had been in the office, Natalie hadn’t turned her eyes off of him.

Crap!!

Looking over at Monk, she noticed how distant his eyes looked. Almost like he was reliving something. Wondering what he was thinking, she continued to drive them back to his apartment.

Arriving at his apartment Natalie felt like he shouldn’t be alone. Even with how uncomfortable she felt after last night, for some reason something was telling her to stay.

As they entered the apartment, Natalie was reminded of what Monk would most likely be thinking about. Trudy’s picture was in almost every room, multiple ones even…lining every space where they could go.

Monk entered the living room and quickly sat in his chair as he rubbed his temples with both hands.

Natalie though…she walked into the dining room – staring at a picture of Trudy. Staring at the picture of a woman she didn’t know – and felt a deep compassion for. Her eyes stared at Trudy’s smile and her eyes…wondering how different she was from herself.

Staring at at the image of the woman she wondered how Trudy had fallen in love with Adrian. Even before Trudy’s death Monk had his disability…just not to this degree. But her mind tried to figure out the woman in the photo. Tried to rationalize how a woman as popular and beautiful as Trudy…had ended up marrying a man like Monk.

Not that Adrian Monk wasn’t good enough for her…her thoughts were actually quite opposite of this. Natalie wanted to know……..wanted to understand how Trudy had managed to win his heart. How had this woman in the picture won his eternal devotion?

It was odd to her…this feeling of inadequacy she felt when she stared at Trudy’s picture. Yet at the same time…she was grateful that Trudy loved Monk. Such a strange controversy…but…with what she felt for Adrian Monk now…really it wasn’t that strange.

More than ever…she felt a connection with Trudy…an understanding only they could possibly have had. Both of them were linked now because of it. Both of them suffered the same fate……they both loved him.

Natalie swallowed and slowly let out a huge sigh.

I wish I could have met you! I wish……I wish he could see me………the way he sees you…

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Monk was oblivious to anything Natalie was doing or thinking. Occupied by his own thoughts he barely noticed that she had actually stayed.

He didn’t know how much time had gone by before he suddenly found Natalie kneeling down and staring into his eyes with such worry.

“Are you ok?!”Natalie asked softly, slightly stressing her last word. Monk didn’t notice that her hands rested on both of his knees. He nodded his head distractedly as he looked away from Natalie to the very object that had entranced her for the last ten minutes.

Natalie’s eyes switched between the two photos on the wall and Adrian’s eyes.

Bracing herself for this conversation she began tentatively.

“Mr. Monk……I know Trudy was the love of your life and….” She stopped as she looked towards Trudy’s picture, “I understand why.”

It was those words that made Monk turn slowly to look at Natalie. He watched her face as she stared at the photo of Trudy.

“Everyone loved her……I’ve never heard anyone say anything about her that wasn’t good.”

Natalie continued to stare at the two photos, lost in thoughts of how lucky Trudy had been.

Monk’s eyes skimmed Natalie’s face, noting every curve – every imperfection.

“You remind me of her sometimes…” Monk whispered the words as he continued to stare at Natalie.

Natalie swallowed the sudden lump in her throat. Wondering if he had read her thoughts of just minutes ago, she suddenly realized that she really didn’t want him to see Trudy when he looked at her.

“Mr. Monk,” pausing for just a second, “I’m nothing like Trudy…” She whispered the words as she feared saying the words louder. Feared what it meant to actually say them out loud.

Monk rubbed his hands together and his face showed such sadness. The last time she had seen him look like this was when he thought he had seen Trudy alive, only to find out it was an imposter.

“I know that…” Monk mumbled out as he looked down at his hands, almost like he was inspecting them for something.

Natalie felt tears clogging her throat, and knew in that second that he was suffering because of her. Natalie had caused this, and for the first time…she understood what it meant to truly be heartbroken now…as his next words came down like a deadly blow.

“You could never be like Trudy.”

With the words Natalie closed her eyes and let the tears travel down her face.

Monk fiddled even more with his hands as the next words felt like a betrayal to the woman he had loved so long.

“And Trudy could never be like you…” The words had been said quietly, not much above a whisper…but the impact it had on Natalie was like an explosion.

Her eyes had snapped open to find him glancing up at her with lost eyes. Immediately……she understood what he was trying to say……and nothing had ever been so bitterly sweet in her life.

The moment lasted between them but for a few seconds. Natalie’s cell phone jarring them both back to the outside world……a world that had taken soo much from both of them. One that brought the object of Monk’s despair back between them.

“John! Hey! How ah……how’d you get this number?!” Natalie asked as she held the phone up to her ear keeping the other on Monk’s knee while she stared with saddened eyes at the now angry eyes of Monk.

“Oh…I don’t know if I can I ………you’re……you’re right (Natalie looked defeated suddenly)” Looking away from Mr. Monk she let out a breath and said ‘ok’ to John on the phone.

Monk knew what it meant…and immediately felt the anger inside him once more.

Natalie hung up the phone but couldn’t look back at Monk’s eyes. She knew what she’d find if she looked at him in that moment.

Silence rained for a few moments before Natalie finally found the courage to speak.

“John…he asked me to dinner tonight……” Natalie said as she avoided Monk’s gaze.

Monk really tried to control his temper……he really did……but the idea of her going out with him again was just too much.

“You didn’t even want to go out with him the first time…” He said calmly, trying to hold himself back.

“I kind of………I owe him an explanation about last night Mr. Monk.” This time she did look up into his eyes. “I need to explain to him about some things that happened last night.”

Monk felt a tightening in his stomach at the words……wondering what exactly had happened after he and Julie left. Now he wanted to kick himself for forcing Julie to leave.

Monk said nothing……so Natalie finally straightened up and removed her hand from his knee.

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The second the pressure of her hand left his leg he felt odd………odd that he hadn’t even realized that she had been touching him, and odd……because he felt naked without the pressure there.

More than ever before………Monk felt confused.

Natalie made her way home, thinking about the man that she had just left behind. It seemed that she worried about him more now than before……before everything changed.

Arriving at the house she quickly got ready for that night. Julie of course had given her a lot of lip on going out with the guy again. Natalie of course had explained that it wasn’t a date….it was just dinner to discuss the previous night.

That of course left Julie curious an anxious to know what exactly had happened the previous night that her mother actually agreed to the dinner of tonight.

At precisely seven o’clock John arrived on her front door step. What shocked both Julie and Natalie…was that he had brought ‘dinner’….there.