The Bits In Between

Rose let Mickey lead her out of the control room, and then took the lead herself. The tour took an excessive amount of time and they both knew it. Mickey knew to leave well enough alone. After the third room filled with things he couldn’t recognise, this time in pink, he let her have an out. “Hey, I’m really knackered, almost being killed by a giant pocket watch and all. I think I’ll try and find my way back. Maybe we could install a lighting system like in airplanes or movie theatres that lead you to the exits.”

She forced a smile. “Yeah, I’ll take you back.” When they reached his room, he squeezed her arm. He really didn’t know what to say.

She made it as far as her room when she collapsed into tears against her door. She had been so stupid, so blind. She should have known she was nothing special. Once she had met her, once he talked about her, she knew she had a fight. Now it was impossible competing with a ghost.

Her Doctor, the proper Doctor, wouldn’t have done this. Or maybe she was wrong about that too. If Jack were still there, maybe it wouldn’t have happened or at least he would have kicked the Doctor’s arse for her and kept her distracted. She thought she knew him inside and out. She was wrong.

She’d stay, for Mickey’s sake. He deserved to see all the universe had to offer. Of course, if he wanted to go, she’d happily go with him.

She definitely knew where she’d be sleeping. She composed herself enough to go across the hall and get the things she’d left there. She started in the bathroom, avoiding the shower for as long as possible. If it had good memories, she didn’t want to be near it. She was miserable and wanted to stay that way. When her arms were full, she took a trip back. She was torn between never wanting to see him again and hoping they’d run into each other so she could beat him with something heavy. She went back and started to pick up random clothes from the floor. Neither one of them was especially tidy and they usually undressed in a hurry. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other, but that was over now.

She took a look around and went to the side table. She had taken to reading in bed as well. She picked up the few books she’s left there but left the knick knacks setting around the room they’d picked up along the way.

She was confident that, all things considered, she had behaved rather well through the course of events. However, at this moment she didn’t feel all that mature. She sometimes forgot how young she actually was. This was not one of those times. She found one of his ties and a pair of scissors. It wasn’t her best moment. But she felt a little better seeing the tiny bits of material decorating the duvet. That was until she looked at the wardrobe. It was partially open and she could see the one thing she had yet to take back. She didn’t know if she could.

The kimono was a reminder of what she had just lost. She didn’t want it mocking her every time she would see it. At the same time, the thought of a chance that someone else would wear it made her nauseous. After an agonizing moment she left it and went back to her room. She slumped onto her bed and thought it would have been so much easier if she didn’t love him so much.

The Doctor watched the flames die out and flicked the switch that would send them off. He sat and began to think. He felt bad about what had happened. He felt even worse that he didn’t feel some great loss for Reinette’s passing. She’s spent most of her life pining for him, something she’d never have. He’d probably forget her by next week. Sure, he cared about her but not that way, the way she wanted. Not that people would believe that.

Mostly he thought about Rose and the possibility of them losing each other. He would hope she’d have the fantastic life he asked of her before if she lost him. He’d be lying if he said he hoped it she’d have it with another man but he wouldn’t be the one to decide that. He knew he’d move on if lost her, he had too much practice with that. He wouldn’t like it. It would have to be something extraordinary for it to be his choice to let her go. He was fairly certain she wouldn’t leave him by choice but he wasn’t positive.

He knew she deserved to know what was in the letter. He wasn’t going to keep things from her. He was going to let her know how much she meant to him. He was going to let her know that the second he knew he had a way back to her, he took it.

Unfortunately, that’s when he realised what he meant to Reinette. That’s why he told her to go to the window, she deserved a little hope. He knew deep down he would be back long after he left her. He also knew there was no way he could take her on the TARDIS, that would have changed history more that it already was, he couldn’t take that risk.

By the time he came out of his head a couple of hours had passed. Rose was probably wondering where he was. He had just made her wait five and half hours; he wasn’t going to do it again so soon.

When he got to his room, he placed the letter on his bedside table, threw his coat on the chair on the far side of the room, and sat on the bed. It was then that he noticed things. One, one of his ties was in pieces beneath him. Two, Rose wasn’t there. Three, neither were her things.

He couldn’t imagine why she’d done that. The horrible thought that she was leaving him quickly came and went. That was ridiculous. Wasn’t it? Maybe he really had misread her feelings.

He heard a sob come from across the hall. He knew who made it, but not why. In a flash, he grabbed the letter and went to push through the door. It was locked and he bounced back almost back into his room. He pounded furiously. “ROSE! Are you okay? Let me in! Please!”

He heard a shuffle and something that suspiciously sounded like “Wanker.” The door flew open and he took a step back “What!?” The only other time he saw a look like that, if was from her mother. Why it was currently directed at him, he was almost afraid to find out.

“Are you alright? I heard you cry.”

She mumbled, “Oh, so now you care.”

“Of course I care.” He went to stroke her cheek but she pulled away violently. “Talk to me, please.”

“Why? You didn’t want to before.”

He took a good look at her. She’d taken off her trainers and jeans and was just in her t-shirt and pants. Her eyes were swollen; she’d been like this for awhile. And even though there was a great fury going through her, she still looked beautiful. “I had to think. I’m sorry. I should have let you know that. I lost track of time. I came to show you this.” He showed her the letter.

She glanced at it long enough to see the signature. She laughed bitterly. “Yeah, that helps. Fine, you say you care. Prove it.” She yanked his head down into a violent kiss. There was no love in this one; it was like she was trying to punish him. With one hand, held his head in place and the other pulled off her knickers. Then, to his shock, she opened his fly and grabbed him. He couldn’t stop himself from reacting to her.

The next thing he knew, she’d wrapped her legs around his back and impaled herself on him. “Did she like it like this?”

She? She who? Realisation dawned on him. She thought he’d slept with Reinette. That explained so much. But how could she ever think he’d do that to her? “Oh, Rose…”

She cut him off. “Did writhe like the whore she was?”

He couldn’t believe the venom spewing from his sweet Rose. She wasn’t like this. He really had hurt her, even if he wasn’t sure how. She even insisted there was a way to save Reinette. He wasn’t going to leave her. “Rose…”

“No, she would have wanted it sweet. Or you did. You have that talent.”

“Rose, don’t.”

“Don’t you dare defend her or yourself.” She was crying again, gyrating on him through her tears. She didn’t want their last time to be like this but she wanted him to feel as badly as she did. She really didn’t care if she caused him physical pain right now.

He wanted her to stop but he couldn’t think how. She obviously wouldn’t listen to him in this state. He wasn’t proud of his idea but he hoped it worked. He kissed her silent, putting his feelings into it. He backed her into the wall and attempted to meet her thrusts. He hoped to sate her into submission or at least exhaust her enough that he could talk with little resistance.

They collapsed on the floor, neither one satisfied. They both were breathing heavily and not for the usual reasons. He put himself away and went to touch her. She jumped away. She found her panties and put them back on, refusing to face him.

“Would you please listen to me now?”

She nodded slightly. “Fine.”

“Nothing happened.” She snorted in disbelief. “Nothing happened the way you think it did. It wasn’t for lack of her trying either but I couldn’t. Didn’t want to. I already have what I want. I’m far too clever to throw that away. I hated leaving you and Mickey but I had to go. It’s what I do. You know that.”

“Yes, but it didn’t take too much convincing to go get the perfect woman.”

“She’s not perfect. She’s trained. Back then women didn’t have many choices. She was clever enough to find a way to better her life. She’s not quite a villain but she’s far from innocent. Did you know she was married? She left her husband for the king, a married man himself. I’m not going to lie to you, Rose. There were others before you. At my age, it would be silly to believe otherwise. But when I am with someone, I am with them and them only. No one, not even the most accomplished courtesan could change my mind. There has been no one else since I met you.”

“She loved you.”

“Yes, but I never encouraged it. I certainly didn’t reciprocate. I can do this thing where I can see in someone’s mind to find out why something is happening, see their past. I did it to her to find out what the droids wanted. She figured out how to reverse it and get into my head without my permission. She was under the impression she knew me because of what she’d seen. But she didn’t, not really. Seeing and experiencing are very different. You don’t know everything she saw but you know me so much better because you’ve experienced some of it with me. If she really saw as much as she claimed, then she saw you and yet she still pursued me. When I sent you to talk to her, I could have done it. I just wanted her to see what my clever girl was.”

“She was very rude to me. She called me ‘child’ and acted as if I was thick and I was trying to save her life.”

“She must have realised her competition was just too strong.”

“But you cared, why?”

“Honestly, she’s like you.” She snorted again. “No, really. You’re both brilliant, feisty, beautiful.”

“Not helping.”

“Right, you’re from different times. Different types of educations. I don’t think she could ever adapt to this life. You were made for it. And if I cared so much, why did I want to leave her after the party and not look back? Think of her like this, she’d be on my list.”

“What list?”

“You know, from that daft show you made me watch. Mates? Pals?”

“Friends.”

”Friends, yes. They had the list of five people one could be with and the other can’t get mad.”

“So, you were with her.” She made to get up but he pulled her back down.

“No! In fact, I don’t even have a list. I don’t feel the need to but, if I did, she would be type I’d add.”

She finally looked at him. She believed him. She felt a little bad about doubting him but wasn’t quite satisfied. “So, tell me what actually happened.”

“She kissed me and yes, I kissed back. I was caught in the moment. I came to tell you about it right after but you’d wandered off. That’s when I found Arthur. I’m going to miss him. Anyway, at the ball, she tried to use me to make the king jealous. I danced with her once. A real dance, mind you and then had a good time. With everyone else but her. Then I came and rescued you. When I went to save her, I admit I had a go at the king. I could hardly resist. Maybe I flirted a bit. I was prepared to make the most of a bad situation. Regardless of what she thought, we could have never been together. She was the king’s mistress and he didn’t like people taking his things. Besides, I wouldn’t have been what she wanted because I would have been restless. Imagine me stuck in one place! Worst of all, I would have missed the sky, the TARDIS and the person I shared them with. Right before I got to come back, I was looking at the stars.”

“So was I. I was looking towards that constellation you said was your favourite.”

“Me too.” He smiled warmly at her and she smiled back. They linked hands. “The second I found out I could get back to you and the TARDIS, even Mickey, I was so happy. I went right away. I asked her to wish me luck and she said no. That’s when I knew how she felt. I felt guilty, so I gave her some hope and told her to pack a bag and pick a star. I knew by the time I got back, years would have passed. I was prepared to explain to her why she couldn’t come, changing history and all. By the time I got back, she had died. She left me this.” He picked up the letter and handed it to her. She read it this time. “I don’t want that to happen to you. I will try to never give you false hope. Even if you don’t like what I have to tell you, it will be the truth.”

“I believe you. I still don’t like her, but I also don’t blame her for caring so deeply about you.”

“She had years to build me up in her mind. She had an idealized version of me she cared about. She never knew the real me. Not like you.”

“So, this mind thing, how did she get into yours?”

“I’m not sure. She said once a door was opened you could pass in either direction. I’m willing to try again with you. If you want to know, I am willing to show you.”

”That’s alright. The fact that you offered means a lot. Just keep in on the table, okay?”

“Will do. Now, get some sleep.” He got up and as he went for the door, he felt a pull on his trouser leg.

“Stay with me. Just to hold me.”

“Of course. Will you move back in tomorrow? I’d miss you.”

“Yes. Remember, I can’t sleep without you anymore.” He stripped down to his shorts and they got into bed. He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. They drifted off not long after.

The next morning, Mickey arrived at Rose’s door to check on her. He was surprised to find her door opened. “Rose? You okay?”

His next surprise was when a head lifted from her bed, it was brown haired and stuck every which direction. The Doctor motioned for him to wait outside. Mickey averted his eyes when he got out of the bed in just his pants.

He came out with just his trousers on. Mickey smugly observed the Doctor was a lot scrawnier than he was. “Mickey, I just wanted to thank you for taking care of her.”

“You hurt her.”

“Yes, I did.”

“You won’t get another chance to.”

“Nor would I deserve one.” The two men looked at each other and an understanding passed between them “How about I try and wake Sleeping Beauty in there and we make a quick jaunt to London so you can get some of your things.”

“Sounds good, but good luck waking her up. You’re a braver man than I am.” They shook hands. Mickey didn’t let go. “You’ll take care of her, yeah?”

“With every ability I have, I swear on the TARDIS.”

“Then I know you’re serious.” They gave each other a manly hug.