Hawai Five-0 chatroom

 

Author's note: This one is not really humorous because I believe it is time we take the b out of the bromance!

Hawaii Five-0: Chapter 17

Former50: I really miss you guys!

SurferChick: we miss you too, Lori. Now I'm the only chick again.

Former50: yeah but you're more than enough! And the guys love you.

SurferChick: they loved you too!

Former50: no way. I think Danny wanted me dead and buried after that episode with the stairs.

SurferChick: you always knew Steve was off limits, though.

Former50: oh Kono, not you too!

SurferChick: what?

Former50: Kono! I just wanted to make them see! You know, create some friction.

SurferChick: well a heads up would have been nice, girl! And I don't think it worked.

Former50: they still haven't faced it?

SurferChick: oh no. And the boss went on the Enterprise with Catherine.

Former50: how did Danny take it?

SurferChick: we'll know any minute now. Steve said he'd log in at four and Danny said he'd be here.

Former50: I'll stay invisible then.

SurferChick: that's my girl.

SubSteve: hello? Anybody here?

GraciesDanno: yeah, hey.

SubSteve: what's going on, Danno?

GraciesDanno: I'm Danny to you, Steve.

SubSteve: what? Why? What could I have possibly done now? I'm in the middle of the ocean!

GraciesDanno: Exactly. Ass.

SubSteve: OK I don't really get what is going on. Why are you mad at me?

GraciesDanno: I'm not mad. Dogs get mad.

SubSteve: OK then what are you? Angry? Pissed off?

GraciesDanno: No. Nothing.

SubSteve: Nothing?

GraciesDanno: Nothing.

SubSteve: then why can't I call you Danno?

GraciesDanno: because I think it's time we have a more professional relationship. You're my boss. Calling me Danno seems inappropriate.

SubSteve: but we are also friends.

GraciesDanno: I disagree.

SubSteve: you're saying we're not friends?

GraciesDanno: yes.

SubSteve: how can you say that after everything we've been through together?

GraciesDanno: everything we've been through together, as you put it, was completely work related.

SubSteve: Danny you didn't stay in Hawaii when Rachel left because of work. You didn't fly to North Korea because I'm your boss! You did that because we're friends!

GraciesDanno: it doesn't matter why I did what I did. We're just work partners. Let's act as such.

SubSteve: Danny what is going on? Are you mad because I'm here on the Enterprise?

GraciesDanno: I told you I'm not mad.

SubSteve: For fucks sake Danny! Don't give me your vocabulary bullshit now! What exactly are you saying?

GraciesDanno: I have to go. Gracie's coming.

SubSteve: Danny!

GraciesDanno has left the chatroom.

SubSteve: what the hell? Hello?

ZenMaster: hey, brah.

SurferChick: hi, boss.

SubSteve: Don't play dumb. What the hell is the matter with Danny?

ZenMaster: we can't really say brah. He doesn't talk to us like that.

SurferChick: yeah, we thought you might know what was wrong.

SubSteve: you mean this isn't just now?

ZenMaster: I'm afraid he's been cranky all week.

SubSteve: since I left.

SurferChick: maybe.

SubSteve: why didn't you tell me?

ZenMaster: we didn't know there was anything to tell, brah.

SubSteve: something's obviously wrong. I gotta talk to him.

SurferChick: he's not going to answer if he's with Grace.

SubSteve: he isn't with her. Before I left Rachel told him she was going to visit her family in Jersey for the weekend to get Gracie's mind off what happened.

ZenMaster: he didn't tell us that.

SubSteve: you know Danny. He didn't want you to feel sorry for him.

ZenMaster: sounds like you know him more than we do.

SubSteve: I gotta go. I need to call him.

SurferChick: Good luck brah!

SubSteve has left the chatroom.

Former50: from a profiler's point of view that is just text book.

SurferChick: that's the type of comment that put you on Danny's list.

Former50:oops.

---

Steve: danny pick up the damn phone.

Danny: When did you add me on whatsapp?

Steve: danny, please just pick up the phone.

Danny: I did pick it up, Steven. How do you think I'm typing on it?

Steve: answer my calls.

Danny: No.

Steve: why not?

Danny: Whatever you need to say you can say now, boss.

Steve: Danny I can't fix something when I don't know what's broken.

Danny: And here I thought SEALs could do anything. Too bad they didn't teach you social skills in the navy, Rambo.

Steve: Rambo was in the army. And you're the one who teaches me social skills. So go ahead, teach me. What did I do?

Danny: Nothing.

Steve: I must have done something if you're this mad... Sorry, angry.

Danny: It's nothing.

Steve: even on whatsapp I know that's a lie, Danno.

Danny: It's Danny.

Steve: no. You're my Danno.

Danny: I'm not yours, Steve. Catherine is.

Steve: what?

Steve: Danny?

Steve: Danny, i know you're reading this. What do you mean Catherine is mine but you're not?

Danny!

The following message could not be sent: Danny, i know you're reading this. What do you mean Catherine is mine but you're not? Danny! The mobile you're trying to be is unavailable. Try again later.

Imanidiot: please tell me there's someone here.

ZenMaster: Steve or Danny?

Imanidiot: Steve. Danny doesn't insult himself.

ZenMaster: What's wrong?

Imanidiot: how did you know anything's wrong?

ZenMaster: I didn't. You just told me.

Imanidiot: you're sneaky.

ZenMaster: I know. Now come on, brah, spill.

Imanidiot: I made a mistake leaving, didn't I?

ZenMaster: Depends on why you think that.

Imanidiot: Danny. He's "angry" because he thinks I came running after Cath.

ZenMaster: So?

Imanidiot: Is that it? He's mad because of that?

ZenMaster: Yes and no.

Imanidiot: This is so not the time for riddles, chin. I need some enlightenment here.

ZenMaster: Kono's going to kill me.

Imanidiot: What's she got to do with anything?

ZenMaster: We promised to keep interference to a minimum.

Imanidiot: what interference?

ZenMaster: Sometimes you're really clueless Steve.

Imanidiot: I know. Just say it Chin. I can't keep guessing and I've been locked in my room for hours trying to figure this out.

ZenMaster: fine. I'll say what I can and you must accept it.

Imanidiot: i will. Please, Chin.

ZenMaster: Yes, he's mad because you went with Catherine. But no, it's not just that.

Imanidiot: what is it, then?

ZenMaster: It's more complicated and I think you know it but you don't want to see it.

Imanidiot: See what? He just told me we're not friends!

ZenMaster: And he's right.

Imanidiot: But we're not just partners. He's my best friend! I tell him everything! I...

ZenMaster: You?

Imanidiot: oh, shit.

ZenMaster: I think you got it.

Imanidiot: Oh my god.

ZenMaster: You definitely got it.

Imanidiot: but Danny loves Rachel! He wants to get back together with her. You heard the message!

ZenMaster: Rachel has Gracie.

Imanidiot: but Gabby!

ZenMaster: looks exactly like Rachel. Minus the accent.

Imanidiot: but Catherine.

ZenMaster: Catherine didn't go to North Korea to get you.

Imanidiot: but you did. You and Kono and Joe and Lori and the others.

ZenMaster: and Danny. The only one who had everything to lose if it went wrong. The only one with a daughter to worry about. He went.

Imanidiot: a daughter. Gracie. The same daughter that he left at the airport when I was arrested.

ZenMaster: do you see it now?

Imanidiot: it doesn't make sense!

ZenMaster: it never does.

Imanidiot: no! I mean, then why is he trying to be more professional? Why treat me like a boss and nothing more?

ZenMaster: maybe because YOU didn't go to North Korea to get him.

Imanidiot: Danny wasn't in Korea! He's never left Hawaii since he got here.

ZenMaster: but you did, Steve. You left Hawaii to follow Catherine. On the week when Rachel took Gracie away and Danny's got no one to turn to. What clearer message than that?

Imanidiot: oh shit.

ZenMaster: you said that already. Now what are you going to do about it?

Imanidiot: I'm going to fix it.