Our Spot

Chapter 17

Gil stood in the corner of Matthew and Sofia's living
room. A drink cooled his hand. He was wearing the
black turtleneck sweater that Sara had bought him two
birthday’s ago. Matthew had looked at him when he
appeared at the door.

“You so did not buy that, the mathematician had said.

He was sitting on a high stool trying to appear
pleasant. Brass and Catherine had warned him, and
although he wasn’t the easiest man in the world, he
knew that when two of your oldest friends warned to
you about your behavior, one should at least try and
listen. That’s how people got themselves into
trouble. They didn’t listen to warnings issued forth
from people that cared about them.

Sara was on her usual position for these gatherings,
wedged in between Warrick and Nick on the couch.
Catherine had just arrived proffering one bottle of
champagne and two bottles of wine. The champagne was
to toast the engaged couple. She waved one of the
wine bottles at Sara. “I raided Sam’s wine cellar. I
got the one you love from Spain.”

Sofia was sitting in Matthew’s lap. Occasionally his
hand would snake under her shirt, and he would blow a
strawberry through the material. Her dimples would
appear, and she would whisper something to him.

I should be holding Sara. She should be my arm,
planning our life, our family.

He looked at her. She looked at him. His eyes begged
for something. She wanted to give him whatever it
was.

Sara reached for the bottled enthusiastically then she
pulled her hand back. “I can’t have any.”

“Why not?”

“I’m on some medicine. I have this thing.”

Gil frowned marring his attempt to appear calm. She
hadn’t told him that anything was wrong. He made a
note to ask her about it when they were alone.

Catherine spun around and raised the champagne bottle.
“Well at least we can toast the happy couple.”

Sofia and Matthew exchanged looks that as only people
in love could do. Sofia throaty words filled the air.
“We can toast, but I can’t have any champagne.”

“What wrong with you?” Cath said.

“Nothings wrong.”

“Okay…”

“I’m pregnant.”

Matthew words of protest about it being a secret were
drowned in loud whoops and claps on Matthew’s back.
Sara stood to join the line of well wishers.

I should be doing this. I should be standing there
with my Grissom smiling and happy not hiding and
pretending. She turned to where Gil was still on the
outskirts of the group. She wondered if he knew
before now.

Sara hugged Matthew and Sofia and retreated to the
bathroom. When she had been gone for more than 10
minutes, he moved away for the exuberant group to find
her.

He tapped on the hall bathroom door. “Sara, you
okay?”

“Fine.”

She pinched her cheeks to add some color.

She pulled the door open. Gil moved towards her and
pushed the door shut behind him. Sara watched as he
locked it and crossed his arms.

“What’s this about being sick?” He titled her face to
the light.

“I’m not sick.”

He waited.

She felt something vibrate in her front pocket. It
was the latest minuscule cell phone that the
department had issued them. Cath joked that she was
going to start keeping hers in her bra. She pulled it
from her pocket. Michael. She had not talked to him
in a week and wasn’t particularly looking forward to
any conversation between them. Previously, she had
invited him to the gathering. She hadn’t rescinded
the invitation, she just hadn’t followed up on it
believing that one should not date when one is
pregnant and in love with another man.

I need to talk to him. I need to tell him about the
baby. I need to know if he feels the same for me.

“Okay you aren’t sick. What are you?”

Sara was about to tell him that they needed to go
somewhere and talk. They could walk to his house.
She liked the idea of walking with Grissom in the could
of the Vegas night, telling him that she was going to
have his baby.

Don’t romanticize this, Sara. You are still talking
about Gil Grissom. I know, but something has changed.
We have both changed.

“Sara” She hadn’t locked it knowing that he would
follow.

He looked into her eyes. He lifted her chin so that
he cool look into her face. Hot wet tears started to
role down her cheeks. His thick hands pulled her
close. She sobbed into his neck. He stroked her hair.

She couldn’t speak. She could only press herself
closer and cry.

He murmured into her dark hair. “Honey, we can fix
it. I will fix it. I promise whatever it is, I will
make it right.”

She mumbled into his neck. “It’s good. It’s good.
It’s very good.”

“Then why are you crying?”

She was clinging to him so fiercely that they were one
body. He lifted her lightly, her toes just touching
the ground. He sat her on the counter. The crying had
subsided. Now, she was only whimpering softly. He
took out a handkerchief and wiped away the last of her
tears.

She laughed unreasonably. “Gil Grissom, who carries a
handkerchief anymore? You are so old fashioned.”

He was pleased to see her toothy smile as he wiped her
face. “Came in handy, didn’t it?”

Their foreheads were touching. Both were smiling
stupidly.

“What are we going to do?” Gil asked.

Sara wasn’t going to fall into this trap. If Gil
wanted her, he was going to have to say it.

“Let’s go home and talk about this.”

Michael’s voice filled the tiny space.

He had shown up at Matthew’s in the middle of the
revelry about the Sofia’s pregnancy. He had surveyed
the room, no Gil Grissom, no Sara.

“What going on?” Gil asked.

“I have been avoiding him.”

Gil waited.

“I have been trying to figure out how to break up with
him.”

Gil nodded. He opened the door. He could still here
the laughter and jokes from the other room. Michael
wasn’t drunk, but he had been drinking. He looked from
Gil’s olive face to Sara’s alabaster one.

“Well, I guess I am not surprised. You are Grissom’s
whore aren’t you, Sara?”

Sara didn’t ask how he knew or what he knew. She
didn’t say anything.

“You know what everyone is saying about you, don’t
you? That he doesn’t even care about you enough to
take you out in public. Look at you. He’s got you
holed up in the bathroom. He’s been stringing you
along for years.” He slapped at one of her ears. “I
guess all the little baubles make up for that. You
think I don’t know real from fake, Sara?”
.
If Brass could have gotten there in time, he would
have pulled the younger cop away from the situation.
He would have looked into Gil’s eyes and known that
things were not only bad, they were worse.

Sara never saw Gil move. One minute he was standing
in front of her protectively. The next he had Michael
against the wall, his powerful forearm was crushing
the other man’s Adam’s apple.

Sara went to make a sound, but there didn’t seem to be
enough air in her lungs. She felt dizzy and hot.

Brass and Matthew entered the cramped space. Sofia
and Catherine pulled her away. Brass had Vartan by
the arm and Mathew had Gil. Sara looked back as Sofia
and Catherine propelled her down the hall.

Sara was sitting between Catherine and Sofia. Warrick
emerged from the altercation and beckoned to
Catherine.

“But what….” She trailed off as she saw Warrick’s
serious expression.

“Catherine you’re the boss at work. We aren’t at
work. Get your purse. We are leaving all things
Grissom to themselves.” His voice softened. “Gil’s
okay.”

She stood squeezed Sara’s hand and followed Warrick
out.

Sara watched as Brass marched Vartan from the house.
She heard Brass direct someone to Sofia.

“Matthew’s wife is on the couch.”

A slim man of some indeterminate age stood in the
living room. His hair was stark white, his eyes an
almost navy blue, and his skin lightly kissed by the
sun.

He tipped his head formerly. “So many lovely women, I
am looking for Dr. Grissom or his wife.”

Sofa stiffened. “Yes?”

Gil and Matthew walked in from the kitchen. They both
stopped in mid stride. Gil’s face had been glued to
Sara’s, but Matthew’s voice caused him to snap his
head around.

Matthew was across the room like a cat lifting the
women from the couch. “Go to the back of the spare
bedroom and close the door. Don’t come out until I
come and get you.”

“Matthew?” Sofia’s questioned. He gave them a small
push to the kitchen. “Go,” he growled. It was in
that instant that Sara saw more of Gil's anger than
she had ever seen. His relaxed demeanor was gone,
economic movements forced the two women into the
kitchen and down the back hall. Gil hadn’t processed
it all, but if Sofia was safe, Sara was safe.

Another set of movements had him towering over the
smaller man.

“Pop, what the fuck are you doing?”

~~~~~~~~
“I have never seen Matty like this.”

Sara and Sofia were in the spare bedroom.

“He’s trying to protect you.”

“Who was that anyway?”

‘My guess, their father.”

“What do you when Griss is like this?”

Sara narrowed her eyes. “If you tell anyone that I
said this, I will disavow all knowledge.”

Sofia smiled and raised her right hand. “Promise.”

“Rub his shoulders. Get him a drink. Give him a
blow job. You have to be sweet and gentle. Don’t
push or pry. He’ll tell you in his own time.”

“I can’t imagine you doing anything like that. I
don’t think anyone would believe me if I told them.”

“Sit down. Who knows how long this will take.”

Sofia stopped moving from one end of the room to the
other. She sat on the bed next to Sara.

~~~~~~
Gil watched his father and his brother like a
spectator at a carnival side show. He hadn’t seen the
man since he was almost six years old. He was oddly
disconcerted by how small he seemed. He was shorter
than both of them and less broad than Matthew and less
muscled than Gil. Gil had the feeling that this
physicality had not been changed terribly much by age.


The irony danced somewhere in Gil’s brain that both
son’s had grown to be both physically and morally
bigger than their father.

His father turned a denture enhanced smile to Gil. “I
was actually looking for Gil. I had no idea that you
were in Vegas, as well. I must have gotten the
address mixed up. Do you live around here, Gil?”

Gil nodded. “I live down the street. Our house
numbers are reversed.”
It seemed odd that this would be the first
communication with his father in over forty years.
“Dad, what are doing here?” Gil asked.

“I just wanted to see you. It’s been a long time,
Gil.”

“It has Dad, but you knew where to find me if you
actually gave a shit.”

“Things were difficult between your mother and me.”

“I haven’t lived with Mom since I graduated from high
school not that it made any difference. If you wanted
to see me, you would have.”

Gil caught sight of Sara standing in the kitchen.

She hadn’t been able to follow her own advice. If
this was Gil’s father, she couldn’t be sure how this
would affect him. She ran a hand over her own baby.
Gil cataloged the unconscious movement.

He stood and beckoned to Sara. She was surprised to
here his next words. “Dad, I can’t talk to you about
this now. I need to get my…Sara home. Where are you
staying?”

“Caesar’s…” The oldest Grissom struggled to say
something else.

“I’ll call you.” If Sara thinks it’s best went
unsaid.

Sara looped her arm through Gil’s. Gil turned to
Matthew. “Sara’s not well. Call me if you need me.”

Matthew nodded and hugged his brother after kissing
Sara on the cheek.


XXXXXXX

Sara was naked on her back; Gil was propped on his
elbow. His hair was wet from the making love. He ran
her fingers across it. “I thought we were going to
talk, Bugman.”

He kissed her. “I said a number of things.”

“Shit, Fuck and Damn Sara don’t really count as
conversation.”

“They don’t huh?”

He licked one nipple. She tapped his ear. “We have
to talk, Gil.”

“Alright.” Gil had opened his sky light. She had
never noticed it before.

Sara fixed her gaze on the opening in the ceiling.
She closed her eyes. This was going to be much harder
than she anticipated.

“Gil, how do you feel about me?”

He was on his back now, her hair against his chest.
“I love you.”

She hadn’t known what she expected. It wasn’t one of
his riddles that needed working out. When he wanted
you to know something, he would tell you and there
would be no guessing about it.

“Sara”

“Hmmm”

One of her legs was thrown across his. The wet part
of her sex was pressed into his thigh.

“This is part where you tell me you love me.”

“I was thinking that you know I love you, besides I
have something else to tell you.”

“The thing in the bathroom?”

“Yes”

“I’m listening.”

“Well this could be a good thing or a bad thing. I
mean it really depends on you because it could be
terrific or not so terrific. What has happened is
that….not happened but has occurred….that’s not right
either…in scientific terms you and I…Gil and
Sara…well, you know who the parties are.”

“You’re pregnant.”

“How did you know?”

“You did a thing with your hand earlier.”

“I did. What?”

“Covered him with your hand.”

“Him?”

“We only have boy children. Didn’t you notice
earlier?”

“We are having girl. There are already enough Grissom
men.”

Sara stole a shy look at Gil. “You okay? How do you
feel?

“About my dad?”

“Yes”

“I don’t know. I don’t feel a whole lot. All I could
think about was getting you and the baby out of there.
I just didn’t matter that much. A long time ago
maybe… but not now. I might talk to him if you think
I should.”

Sara looked at her Grissom. She remembered the words
he had spoken to his father a few hours ago. “If I
think you should.”

“Yeah, isn’t that’s how this commitment thing works.
We talk about things, and then I do whatever you tell
me.”

Sara laughed somewhere deep in her throat. Her hands
mussed his hair.

“I need a hair cut.”

“I like it when the curl has a chance to grow out.”

“Then I don’t need a haircut. See how easily I
acquiesce.” He kissed her neck. “So what should I
do?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I guess I am curious. I want to here what he has to
say.”

“Then you should talk to him, but not until you tell
your mother that he’s here.”

“You think?”

“You don’t want her to feel betrayed. If you don’t
tell her until later, she might.”

“What else?”

“I am the last person you should ask how to be
handling difficult paternal situations, but I think
you just listen to what he has to say and tell him how
you feel. That you felt or feel abandoned, and that
how difficult it was for you and then you can gloat
about what a terrific father you are going to be, and
how you shall never miss so much as a little league
practice.”

“I won’t, you know.”

“I know. I told Matty that you wouldn’t desert the
baby even if things didn’t work out for us.”

“Matthew knew.”

“I had to tell someone.”

“He called me for the last two days reading me stuff
from baby books. I just thought he was being an
irritating new father." He reached for the phone with
his free hand.

“Who are you calling?”

“Ecklie. I think now would be a good time to tell him
that I quit. It is nice having more than a full head
of hair to throw in his face.”

Sara continued to laugh as he dialed the number.