Shattered Illusions

Chapter 16.

A week later, as I was pulling into the driveway from work, I saw a car in my driveway that I did not recognize. I got out of the car and a man met me in the driveway.
“Hi, Julianna. My name is Jonathon Peters.” He handed me his business card and after I looked at it, I said, “Lainey, go inside.” I handed her my keys and looked back at him.
“Thank you for not mentioning Luke.”
“No problem. Is there somewhere we can talk?” he asked.
“Sure, come inside.” I walked into the kitchen and told Lainey to go up to her room and start her homework.
“Please sit down.” I motioned him to the kitchen table. “I’ll make some coffee.”
“Thank you.” he said and cleared his throat. “As I said, I’m Jonathon Peters. I’m one of Luke’s consultants for his for his show, and his friend.” He added.
He met my eyes with the last statement and said, “Forgive me for saying so but your daughter is the mirror image of Luke.”
I smiled, “Yeah, I know. So does Luke know he has a daughter?”
“Yes, he does. He’s always known since the first letter you sent him.” Johnathon said.
“Then why the hell has he never contacted me?” I asked in exasperation.
“Ma’am, I’d really rather let Luke explain that to you. I’m only here to give you some information.” He sipped his coffee and continued. “Luke had named you his power of attorney and executor of his estate. You need to contact his lawyer for all the details.” He handed me a business card.
“His what?” I blinked and stared at the card I took from him. “So after all this, I’m supposed to take care of his affairs?” I was annoyed by this.
“Julianna, I’m here at Luke’s request to give you this information. He wanted it to come from me before the lawyer contacted you. I’ve been Luke’s magic consultant and friend since the beginning of his career. He’s told me all about you and your relationship. Believe me, he has a lot of regrets. Luke means a great deal to me as a friend so that means you do too. That’s all I can say on his behalf. Maybe his letter will answer some of your questions.” He produced a thick envelope from his briefcase and handed it to me.
“I can’t even begin to tell you the shock i’m going through from all of this as i’m sure you are going through the same. I want you to know that you can call me anytime. I’m here for you as Luke’s friend. Read his letter and if you need to talk, please call me.”

After Johnathon left I took the letter to my room. I was dizzy from all the information i’d been given. My hands were shaking as I tore open the envelope.

‘Dear Jules,
I’m not sure exactly what to say to you but I’ll try. I‘ll try to explain to you all the decisions i’ve made since I last saw you.
I ran to New York unable to deal with the thought of going to a mental hospital. I just couldn’t be confined like that. Running away was a familiar act to me. I’d done it so many times. I had all intentions of contacting you to live out our dreams. At first, things didn’t pan out as I expected. I was homeless for a short time then I got a job and a small apartment in a bad neighborhood. I just couldn’t bring you to that. A year went by with me living in that horrible place before I could afford something better. It wasn’t a lot better and not nearly good enough for what I wanted for you. I couldn’t take you away from a good life and bring you here to live in poverty with me.
I met Johnathon Peters and he started helping me out with my career. By the time my career was starting to take off, I found out you were in college and I didn’t want to take you away from that. I still wasn’t able to support you. Then I heard we had a daughter. I got your letter and her picture. She’s so beautiful. To this day I still carry a picture of you and Lainey.
My career took off fast and I worked long hours so time literally escaped me. By the time my career was secure and I had enough money for us, too much time had gone by and I didn’t feel I had the right to uproot your lives. It had been a year since i’d gotten a letter from you and I figured you’d found someone else and got tired of waiting for me and I couldn’t blame you. I ‘m sorry things didn’t work out as we planned. I’m sorry you’ve had to raise Lainey without her father. I’m sorry for a lot of things, Jules. I just hope that one day you find it in your heart to forgive me.
It’s difficult for me to explain why I did what I did. Vienna and Austin were part of my family. The family I created and they betrayed me. The things they did were unforgivable. Something inside me snapped.
I can’t explain this in a letter. I’m hoping you will come see me one day. Seeing your face will help to give me the strength to deal with this. I’m not sure I have the strength to do it alone but i guess I may have no choice. I wouldn’t blame you if you won’t forgive me and don’t want to see me. I won’t ask to meet Lainey because I can’t put her through that. I can’t help but wonder if she knows who her father is.
I do hope you decide to come visit me. I miss you more than you know.
Luke’

I folded the letter and put it back in the envelope, my hands still shaking. I’d never felt so numb. I spent another sleepless night thinking of Luke. I had some hard decisions to make.