The Bits In Between

“Come on, Mickey. Let me show you the basics.” Rose wanted to get away from the control room before the Doctor returned from saying good-bye to Sarah Jane. She wasn’t angry, or even jealous, not anymore anyway. She just needed time to think. She was a little disappointed Sarah Jane decided not to come with them. It would have been nice to have someone to talk to that understood what she had been through.

She didn’t want Mickey to come with them. She had made that clear. She wasn’t sure why the Doctor said yes. It wasn’t just that she wanted the Doctor to herself, asking Sarah Jane should have made that obvious. She didn’t think Mickey would get what this was. The enormity of space and time travel. She also didn’t want to flaunt the man she left him for in front of him. She was pretty sure Mickey knew that it was over between them and had been for a long time. She just didn’t want to rub salt in the wound. He was still one of her best mates and he deserved much better than that.

She knew if she ever tried to explain this to anyone they’d say it was rubbish. They were probably right but it was what it was. “This is the kitchen. We aren’t very well stocked at the moment. Write down what you want and we’ll get it when we can.” She couldn’t look him in the eye. She could tell she was blushing, she vividly remembered the reason why they were out of quite a few items.

Mickey noticed the blush but chose to ignore it. He knew she wasn’t exactly thrilled to have him along. He hoped it wasn’t because she thought he wanted her back. He didn’t. A blind man could see what Rose and the Doctor meant to each other. While he could be a little thick, he wasn’t totally stupid. It stung to realise that but she was still his mate, best mate really, and he wanted her happy. He knew the Doctor and this did. Of course he wasn’t above poking a little fun at her. He deserved that much. He continued to follow her through the winding halls.

“My room. Doctor’s.” He tried to hide his shock that they still had separate rooms. He thought they were closer than that. They turned a few corners and stopped. “I think this will work for you. This place is a little overwhelming at first. You saw how we got here, right?” He nodded. “If you need help come to my room or the control room. Good night.”

He grabbed her arm before she could get too far. “Rose, we need to talk. I know you’re not happy I’m here, but I am. And it’s not because I want to be with you. You and I both know that ship has sailed.” They genuinely smiled at each other. “I just wanted to understand. You talked about all these wonderful things. I wanted to see time for myself. And who better to see it with than your best mate?”

“Mickey, I am so sorry. I’ve treated you badly. You’re a better person than that. Why did you put up with me?”

“I’m just too good. We’ve been through too much and known each other too long to just ignore one another.” He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “So, you and him, huh?”

She squeezed back. “Yeah. I think so. I hope so.”

“Don’t be thick. I don’t have to like it but you have him. However, as your mate and ex-boyfriend, I will say, if he hurts you in anyway, I’ll deck him. And I’ll feel good about it.”

“Thanks, Mick.” They hugged and without thinking, kissed. It was a farewell and they both knew it. As far as break-ups went, Rose thought it was pretty good, better than she deserved. With one last squeeze she left him to his own devices and went to her room. She didn’t feel right about going to the Doctor’s for some reason. She sunk onto her bed and let her mind wander.

The Doctor ran back in and set the TARDIS into motion. He was pleased with things. He got to say good-bye to his best friend and leave her a present. He was glad he had enough parts on hand to build a new K-9. Of course, it helped he’d found left over bits in the explosion debris. He looked about and found that he was alone. That was a bit of a shock. Well, Rose was probably putting Mickey in. He’d meet her in his room.

This had brought up so many things. He hated that this was the way she found out about the others, but it was out there now and he was ready to answer any questions she had. She had to know now how special she was. He practically proposed to her outside the chippy, offering himself to her for the rest of her life. But he wanted her to know exactly what that meant. That he would have to go on without her, even though he didn’t want to. He really was ready to put himself in that kind of pain. She was worth it.

He still couldn’t say the words though. He came close. Why did he stop himself? Because he was a coward. There was still doubt. She hadn’t said them either, so, maybe, just maybe she didn’t feel the way he thought she did. He vowed then, unless she said it first, no matter what happened, he wouldn’t say it, even if it meant she never heard it. Maybe he could save her from that or maybe it would destroy her. Maybe he was just trying to save himself.

He was surprised again when Rose wasn’t waiting for him in his room. He shrugged it off and took of his jacket, untucked his shirt and rolled up his sleeves. He was about to go look for her when he heard a noise across the hall. He noticed her door was ajar. Without thinking, he entered her room without knocking.

He smiled, relieved she was okay. “There you are. Mickey all settled then?” When she didn’t answer, he knelt down to meet her eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking. That’s all. I promise I’m not mad at you. It’s just that the past couple of days gave me a lot to think about.” She ran a hand through her hair. He was rubbing off on her. “We have a lot to talk about, yeah?” He nodded and she motioned for him to sit next to her. “If I ask you questions, will you be honest with me?”

“I can try.” The thought terrified him, but she deserved answers.

“Alright, let’s start with one I asked already. How many have there been?”

He took a deep breath and started to list them, giving more details on some more than others. She noticed the fondness for some like Susan and Jamie, the wistfulness at Romana, the deep sadness for Adric, and the sneer at some like Adam. She scattered questions here and there but for the most part let him go. He finally finished. “What else?”

“How many of you have there been?”

“I’ve regenerated nine times, so, this is my tenth and dare say finest form.”

“Were you like this with any of the others?”

“No.” She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. “You were wrong when you said I was this close with Sarah Jane. She was my best friend, nothing else. You know friends and lovers can have different relationships.” He laughed to himself. “I would have been in so much trouble had she come along. Between the two of you there isn’t much not known about me. You two put your heads together, laughing. I’d never get a moment's peace.” He looked down at his hands. “I meant it, you know.”

“Meant what?”

“That you could spend the rest of your life with me.” He looked at her earnestly.

“I might just take you up on that.”

“We okay?” She nodded. “You should know, you can ask me anything even if I don’t like it or you don’t like the answer. We deserve that of each other.” He leaned in and kissed her. “Now then, time for bed.” He was taken aback when she didn’t follow him.

“I think for the time being, I’m going to stay in here. It’s only fair for Mickey.”

”Oh, so you lot…”

“No, it’s not like that. We’ve talked. We’re over. Totally. In fact, he gave us his blessing. It’s just, it’s an awkward situation and I don’t want to hurt him anymore.”

Now he let out his breath. “Good, can’t say I’m not disappointed. My door is always open to you, you know that.” With a quick kiss, he went back to his room. He wasn’t sure what to do with himself. He hadn’t gone to bed without her for awhile. He changed into a pair of pyjama bottoms and put on his glasses. He picked up a book and propped himself up in bed.

He had gotten through a good chunk when he heard his door open. “I couldn’t sleep.” Rose stood there, hair rumpled, face clean, in her own set of pyjama bottoms and vest. He smiled sweetly in understanding, he wasn’t sure if he could either. He flipped open the blankets on her side of the bed and she shuffled over and in.

He pulled her to him with one arm and kissed the top of her head. “I missed you.” She responded by putting her head on his chest and an arm around his waist.

They stayed in companionable silence for a bit longer. He continued to read and played with her hair. She listened to his hearts and drew figures with fingers over his chest and stomach. He still didn’t do domestic but this he could live with for a long time.

After several suppressed yawns from both of them, they came to silent agreement that it was time to turn in. The lights went out and they automatically spooned together. His arm went about her waist and hers rested on top of his. Their legs twisted together and they passed out peacefully.

The Doctor was used to nightmares. It didn’t mean he liked them. All the stirred up memories brought the bad as well as the good. The bad took a starring role now. Except all the people who had been put into danger by him now looked like Rose.

He awoke to find her shaking him and calling his name. By instinct he puller her close and kissed her desperately, happy to find her safe.

She wasn’t sure what to do. The only tool she had was her body. She used that. She stroked him and whispered calming things into his ear. He urgently pulled at her vest. She yanked down her bottoms and he did the same. They attacked each other but stayed quiet.

They wasted very little time and he was soon driving into her. They made love in hurried silence. She wasn’t sure what had upset him but this seemed to be the solution. If she could help heal him, she would do whatever it took.

Neither one wanted to break the cocoon of peace they had created. So, when she had reached her breaking point, she pulled him to her and kissed him deeply to muffle her moans. He hadn’t planned on this happening but he had to do something to make sure she was whole and safe. He carefully rolled off of her and they were soon unconscious again.

The next morning, Mickey woke early or maybe late. He wasn’t sure in this place. He decided to go for a wander and turned a corner. He saw Rose standing in the door of the room she said belonged to the Doctor. She was wearing a beautiful, colourful silk dressing gown. She stepped back into the hall and he saw the Doctor step forward. He was wearing a similar garment. They gave each other what could only be described as a lover’s kiss. He smiled sadly to himself and turned back to his room. He really was happy for them. He just needed time to mourn the passing of something special. He knew he could never compete with what he just saw. He only hoped that one day he could find that for himself.