Golem

The next morning, Brian got Noah up and ready for school just as he had all week. He insisted to Julian that he had everything under control and urged the other man to go back to sleep. Julian gratefully obliged.
Some hours later, Julian was awakened by the insistent ringing of his cell phone. He struggled to snag his jeans from the floor without falling off the bed and then frantically pawed through the pocket sea search of the phone, finally locating it just as the call went to voice mail. After checking the number, he crawled back under the duvet and dialed Brian's mobile.

"Kinney."

"Hey. I couldn't find my phone."

"Uh-huh. Well do you think you can find that Indian place you like? In about...an hour and a half?"

"Yeah," Julian replied with a grin. "Most definitely."

*

True to his word, Julian found the restaurant; he was sitting in a booth, working on his laptop, when Brian arrived.

"I ordered for you," Julian said by way of greeting. "Your usual. I hope that's okay."

"Saves me the trouble," Brian conceded.

They exchanged a little small talk, Brian bitching about the latest crisis at work and Julian filling Brian in on the latest with his mom. Halfway through the meal, Julian stopped in mid-sentence and stared at Brian.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"I can tell something's bothering you, Brian."

For a moment, Brian stared down at his plate, watching as he moved bits of food around. Finally he set his fork aside and looked up at his lover. "I want you to move in with me."

Julian sat in stunned silence for a moment, then slowly shook his head once sid side to side. "Are you serious?"

"Would I have said it if I didn't mean it?"

"Can you ever not answer a question with a question?"

Brian raised an eyebrow as if to say 'I could ask the same of you,' drawing a laugh from the other man. When Julian gave no futher response, he asked "So?"

"And what would I do with Noah, Brian? Keep him in the closet?" Julian asked, trying to keep the mood light.

"You wound me," Brian deadpanned. "I would never suggest that anyone stay in the closet."

Julian laughed, and then forced his face into a serious expression. "I'm serious, Brian. You said yourself that the loft isn't kid-friendly."

In reply, Brian drew a stack of photographs from his attache case. He presented the first one to Julian. "I'm thinking of buying a house. "

"It's gorgeous," Julian breathed, taking the picture from Brian to study it more closely. He then looked over the other photographs.

"So...should I buy it?" Braskeasked when Julian had finished.

Julian took a moment to straighten the stack of pictures before answering. "I need to run it by Noah."

"Julian. What do you want?"

"I want to say 'y"
"

Brian smiled at his lover, his emotions for once plainly visible in his eyes. He rested his hand on top of Julian's. "I'll call the realtor when I get back to work."

"Brian..." Julian protested.

"I'm sure Noah won't have a problem with it."

"I'll let you know as soon as I talk to him. You're probably right, but I don't want to make the decision without him."

"I understand, and I agree."

Julian sighed, relieved, and gave Brian's hand a gentle squeeze.
k hik him when you pick him up from school, and we'll go out tonight to celebrate," Brian said, dropping some money on the table for the lunch tab. "I have to get back to work." He gave Julian a chaste peck on the lips and was gone.

*

Julian took Brian's advice, sittioah oah down to talk to him about Brian's proposal as soon as he got him home from school.

"How would you feel about me and you and Brian all living together?"

"You mean not live here anymore?" the little boy asked.

"Yeah. Brian wants to buy a completely different house just for the three of us, and Gus when he comes to visit."

Noah's face lit up in a brilliant smile. "Can we move today?"

Laughing, Julian pulled the boy down on his lap and began to explain everything they had to do before they could move. Noah was visibly disappointed, but his enthusiasm for the venture didn't waver one bit.

*

It took time - along with a great deal of effort, endless phone calls, and more than a little frustration - but eventually all the pieces fell into place for the much anticipated change of living space. Brian was approved by Noah's social worker, they closed on the house, boxes were procured and packed, furniture bought and sold.

On the night before he was to actually physically move his possessions from the loft, Brian moved restlessly around the apartment, letting memories wash over him. He had lived here at the corner of Fuller and Tremont for a decade; it was the first major purchase he had ever made, back when he still worked for Marty Ryder. Here, Gus had first crawled - then walked, then ran - across the hardwood floors. Here, he and his friends had spent countless hours together. Here, he had taken Justin's virginity. And here he and Julian had made love for the first time.

So many good memories. But it was time to move on.

Brian pushed away the sentimental thoughts and sat down at the bar to boot up his laptop - one of the few things he hadn't packed and his only remaining source of entertainment. A short time later, the sound of the loft door opening drew his attention away from the computer. He barely glanced up at Julian before refocusing on the computer long enough to shut it down.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, turning the barstool so that he faced his lover. He grabbed Julian by the belt-loops and tugged him closer.

"I was thinking..."

"Uh-oh
"
"I thought we should say goodbye to this place. A bon voyage party of sorts - you, me, a little Beam, a lot of sex...." He leaned in to claim Brian's mouth. When Brian pulled away only a moment later, Julian was confused and a little worried.

"Where's Noah?"

"Tucked in his bed at home." Julian leaned forward again, but Brian dodged the kiss.

"With Nicky?"

"With Paul, actually. Nicky was going up to visit some friend of hers at the hospital."

"Fuck!" Brian pulled away from Julian, scrambled into his socks and boots, and snatched his keys from the bar.

"Brian?"

"Let's go," Brian said without any explanation. Taking Julian by the arm, he led him out of the apartment and quickly locked the door behind them. He jabbed the call button on the elevator and drummed his fingers on the wall impatiently as he waited. A half a minute later, he grabbed Julian's arm and headed for the stairs.

Only after they were in the car and well on their way to Julian's house would Brian explain his actions.

"I don't trust Paul," he said.

"What are you not telling me, Brian?"

Brian took a deep breath and told Julian about discovering Noah's bruises and the subsequent revelation that Paul had caused them. "And I don't think it was the first time," he added.

For several minutes, Julian sat in silence, absorbing what Brian had told him. "I hope you're wrong about that," he said at last. "I really hope you're wrong."

*

They heard Paul's voice - loud and angry - as soon as they entered the house. Brian dashed up the stairs full-tilt, Julian right behind him, and burst into Noah's room with murder in his eyes. He wanted nothing more than to drag Paul out of the bedrond pnd possibly toss him down the stairs, but fighting violence with violence was out of the question - as least while Noah was watching. Instead, he stepped between Paul and Noah, offering himself as screen and shield for the little boy, who was cowering on the floor beside his bed, tears streaming down his face.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Julian demanded.

"Get. Out." Brian's voice was deadly calm, as tightly controlled as his rage.

When Paul showed no signs of obeying, Julian spoke up. "Paul, I think you should go now," he said, hoping that Paul would respond to his calm, neutral tone better than he had to Brian's veiled threat. To his relief, Paul left the room without another word, his clenched fists the only sign of his anger.

As soon as Julian closed the door behind Paul, Brian took several deep breaths and forced himself to relax. By the time he felt calm enough to talk to Noah, Julian was sitting on the floor with the boy, ing ing him tightly and trying to reassure him.

"Hate. Him," Noah managed to gasp out between sobs.

"Me too, Sonny Boy," Brian soothed, stroking the child's hair. "But he's gone now. You're gonna be okay."

Eventually, Noah's sobs turned into hiccoughs, and the hiccoughs into a slight hitch in the child's breathing that stayed with him even in sleep. Julian carefully tucked his boy into bed and kissed his tear-stained face. He then gestured toward the door, and after pressing a kiss to Noah's brow, Brian followed Julian into the hall.

"This...this thing with Paul. Is it the reason you asked me - us - to move in with you?"

Brian shook his head. "Not exactly."

"What does that mean, Brian?"

With a sigh, Brian leaned against the wall. "It means I wanted you to move in with me before Noah ever entered the picture. I didn't ask because I've always believed I'd be a really shitty father figure. I probably will be. But....yeah, I want to protect Noah. That's what made me decide to do this now."

Julian crossed his arms across his chest and looked down at the floor. "Since I know about Paul now and don't intend to ever let him near Noah again, regardless of whatever excuse he tries to feed me for screaming at my son....Now that you know Noah will be safe regardless, do you still want us to move in with you?"

"Julian...."

"Because you have to be sure, Brian." He looked up then, his eyes filled with fear and just a touch of hope. "You have to be completely sure, because if you decide in a few weeks or a couple of months that you can't hack having a full-time family, it'll crush Noah. He doesn't need that. And neither do I."

"Julian," Brian said again, drawing the other man into his arms. "I'm sure."

lly?lly?"

Brian snorted. "Really."

"I don't mean to second guess you, Brian, but...it's just that you get kind of skittish whenever anyone as much as mentions words like 'relationship' or 'monogamy.' Our moving in together - that's going to mean a lot of changes."

"I realize that," Brian replied. "I tried going back to the way I was before - drinking and tricking and not giving a shit. You know that; you saw it first-hand - which should never have happened. I should have...been more respectful. At any rate, that life isn't for me anymore. I'm too ol...." He snapped his mouth shut and shook his head slightly. "I'm not exactly a nineteen-year-old stud anymore. It's time for me to try something else. Move on to the next big adventure." He slipped his hand beneath Julian's hair to rest against the warm skin on the back of his neck and leaned forward to claim his lover's mouth in a tender kiss.

Julian leaned back in Brian's arms and smiled. "You may not be a teenager, Brian, but you're still damned hot." He trailed his fingertips lightly down Brian's cheek and ghosted them over his lips. "You're beautiful. And you always will be. Even when you've gone gray, and have grandkids, and finally have to admit that your French anti-aging crème doesn't work," he added, surprising a laugh out of Brian. "And I hope I'm there to see it."
Brian didn't say a word. He wanted to speak, wished he could tell Julian that he hoped he would be there, that he wanted him around for a long time. But the words stuck in his throat. He settled instead for leaning his head down slightly to rest his forehead against Julian's as he wrapped his lover more securely in his arms.

"You don't have to say anything, Brian," Julian whispered. "I know." He hugged Brian even tighter. "I know."