Darkest Nights

A few days later, they had their first session with Hendricks. They combined their sessions in order to stay together; there was an unspoken agreement that they needed to be together in the difficult, emotional sessions.

George still had difficulty talking about his ordeal, but he didn't refuse to answer questions anymore. That made things quite a bit easier.

For his part, Elliot finally voiced the thoughts he'd been having since George had been found, especially about the anger he had towards George's attackers.

"I'm really worried that if I'm the one who handles the interrogation, I'm going to lose control and do something that will get me put on desk duty for the rest of my career," Elliot admitted.

"Do you have any way to release the anger? And I don't mean burying your thoughts. Do you have any way you can truly vent?" Rebecca asked.

"I usually go to a gym," Elliot stated.

"Why haven't you been using that outlet?" Rebecca demanded.

"Because…" Elliot trailed off.

"Of me," George finished. He looked at the ground, averting any eye contact.

"It's not like you made me stay with you 24/7, I just never wanted to leave for any amount of time. It's not your fault," Elliot assured him.

"Well, I can handle being alone for an hour or two if you need to work out," George said flatly.

"Okay," Elliot agreed. Rebecca raised her eyebrows.

"So, Elliot, that's settled. But George, to reiterate what Elliot said, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I know, I know," George sighed. He rested his chin on one arm.

"I hate being on this side of the fence," he confessed. "I know it's necessary, I know what would happen without this, but I don't like it."

"No one likes it. Why do you think we have so many patients we treat come in on an involuntary basis? It's because it's bad enough going through a trauma—and then having your thoughts dissected? I'd be surprised if you didn't hate being here. Psychiatrist or no, it's definitely unpleasant," Rebecca stated.

"Yeah," George sighed.

"Elliot, do you remember when you attacked a man who was hurting his kid?" Elliot nodded.

"Of course."

"You sought me out, because you knew you needed some help. But you still didn't like me asking you questions."

"Right," Elliot agreed.

"It's definitely harder to be a patient," Rebecca concluded.

"I agree," George sighed.

"Elliot, I'd like to know what you're feeling right now," Rebecca requested. "You haven't said much, other than worrying about your aggression."

"I'm feeling a lot," Elliot admitted. "I'm worried about George, I'm worried that we won't catch these guys and what might happen if I do get my hands on them, I'm angry at them, and I'm angry at some of George's family."

"Why are you angry at his family?" Rebecca asked.

"Because they haven't spoken to him in years and he doesn't feel like they'll make up, even over this."

"Tell me about that, George," Rebecca suggested.

"Not much to say. They're strictly traditional. They see me being attracted to men as a slap in the face."

"So you don't want to make peace with them?" Rebecca asked.

"I do, but I think now isn't the time," George said.

"Do you have any siblings?" George nodded.

"A sister. Her name is Nora."

"Does she accept you?"

"Yes."

"Do you want to talk to her?"

"Yes and no."

"You should."

"I will soon, I guess," George said reluctantly.

"It will help," Elliot supplied. George sighed and clasped Elliot's hand.

"I know. It's just a little overwhelming."

"I'm going to stop you there for a minute. Elliot, what else are you feeling?" Rebecca asked.

"Not much else. I just really want to get these guys," Elliot stated.

"What else?" Rebecca prodded.

"I just… I feel afraid and protective of George. I feel like the next person to look at George wrong is also someone who's going to try and hurt him, and thus someone I want to attack," Elliot admitted.

"So you're having trust issues of sorts."

"Yes," Elliot answered.

"George, what do you think about that? And are you afraid of being out in public?" Rebecca asked.

"It feels nice to have someone who cares about me and to feel protected. But I don't want Elliot to get into trouble because of me— even if he finds my attackers. And I'm not afraid to be out in public, per se, but I am anxious. But having Elliot there helps. It… it feels like he's a combination of a lover, guide, and bodyguard. I feel safer," George admitted.

"And you feel ready for him? You feel like you can love already?" Rebecca asked. "You work with victims often. You know that most have a difficult time. I'm not saying I doubt you—there are times when this thing brings people together. But I think it's good to define some things."

"I feel about as ready to be with him as I can be." George gave a half-smile. "I know most have a hard time with relationships, and I probably will too. But I think I can do this."

"If you can't, I'll still be here," Elliot chimed in.

"That means a lot. Thank you," George said softly. He laced his fingers with Elliot's.

"George, in general, what problems have you been having since you were found?" Rebecca asked.

"Nightmares—lots of them. And occasional flashbacks," George stated. Elliot blinked. George hadn't mention having had flashbacks. George gave him a look that plainly said that he hadn't intentionally kept anything from him.

"What triggers them?" Rebecca asked.

"Thinking about what happened," George said. He took a deep breath.

"But nothing specific? Sounds, smells, sights?"

"I—yes. This probably sounds odd, but if it gets too quiet it's a trigger."

"Because?"

"Because it was always so quiet right before and right after they… you know." He fiddled with a loose thread on the sofa he and Elliot were sitting on.

"That's a pretty easy trigger to avoid," Rebecca stated. George nodded silently. After a moment, Elliot spoke up.

"I think George and I can do this. But I'm still worried about him."

"I think this will work," George agreed quietly.