The Boys From Tennessee

The Boys From Tennessee
Rating: R
Author: Chissy_Rose
Author’s Notes/Disclaimer: They’re not mine, I don’t own them. No infringement intended.

The Boys From Tennessee
Chapter 15 (15/60)
A Favor From Sayid

Peter stopped along the way, in-route to the hatch, and got himself some fruit to eat for breakfast. He sat and rested for a moment listening to the jungle sounds. He thought about Jack and Sawyer, damning himself for loving them both. How could he have been so stupid? Now they both cared about him, wanted him as he wanted both of them. He continued on to the hatch and went to the computer room to see who was manning the system. Hurley was gone now, and in his place was Sayid. He walked into the room and tried to speak pleasantly to Sayid. Sayid said hello back and after a few moments, he asked Peter what was wrong. He sighed and told Sayid that things were not going well and that he’d brought trouble to Sawyer. Sayid grimaced and asked what kind of trouble.

“Well, you will probably hear about this from other people anyway. I spent last night with Sawyer in his tent. He wanted me to stay rather than come back here. We were – intimate this morning, and Sawyer was, well, loud. Afterwards we were lying together and Kate came and opened up the tent flap and saw us together. She went ballistic and Sawyer went up the beach after her. She was hitting and screaming at him and she finally went into the jungle and he went walking the other way up the beach.”

Sayid shook his head sadly. “This is what I warned you both about. You’ve already drawn heartache to him and Kate both. You both needed to be discrete. Now things will change for both of you.”

“Yes, I know. I didn’t mean to be the cause of this. Trouble follows me and always has.” Peter paused. “Sayid, I have something to ask you, and if you don’t agree then just tell me and I’ll never bring it up again cause I know it may hurt you for me to ask it.”

“What is it?” Sayid asked tentatively.

“I don’t have anywhere to live on the island now. I had built the shelter that Julie is still using, but I’m not going back there after everything that has happened. I don’t want to stay here in the hatch any longer than I have to. There’s no privacy here and it can be like Grand Central Station. I’m afraid that Sawyer may ask me to live with him, but I don’t think that’s a good idea yet either. I think I need a shelter to live in by myself so I can work things out. I’m even planning on talking with Libby today for counseling. What I’m leading up to is to ask if you would let me live in the shelter you built for Shannon, or if I could use the materials to build a new shelter somewhere else.”

Sayid’s eyes were glistening as he thought about making the shelter for Shannon and their one night there. He had no use for it. He already had a shelter of his own, but at the same time, it hurt him to think of anyone living in the same shelter, in the same place. He spoke in measured tones, “I think that it might bother me if you stayed in the same shelter in the same location. You have my permission to dismantle it and build one of your own somewhere else. I don’t need it and you need a shelter. It is probably better that you have your own place, all things considered.” Peter touched Sayid on his hand, thanked him for his kindness and said he would not forget it. He went and lay down in the bunkroom and hoped Jack would release him from the hatch today so he could get on with his life. He fell asleep for awhile but was startled awakened by Jack calling his name. Jack smiled and apologized for startling him. Peter smiled back at him. Jack felt safe and protective to him.

Jack asked how he was and Peter looked at the floor. Jack knew instantly that he wasn’t okay and something was going on. Peter asked if he nose splint could come off. Jack checked it and said okay, but warned him about moving it or hurting it again until it was fully healed. Then Jack checked his other wounds and decided the stitches could come out if Peter could stand it. “Won’t hurt as bad as they felt going in, but they may sting a bit.” Jack said his eye was healing better than he expected. Peter did fine with having stitches removed and was relieved when it was over. Jack asked him again what was wrong.

“I’m just up in the air. I keep causing chaos in other people’s lives. I don’t mean to, it just follows me,” Peter said sadly. He looked in Jack’s eyes. “You know how I said I was promiscuous, wild and fooled around a lot? Well, you’re not the only one I’ve been having sex with.”

Jack looked at him and smiled. “I never thought I was the only one you were with. I certainly enjoy being with you, having you and hope that it won’t stop.” Jack put his hand up to Peter’s face and rubbed it with his thumb.

Peter looked serious. “I don’t want to stop being with you either, but I’ve got to get my head on straight. I’m still upset about my breakup with Julie and now I’m already causing chaos wherever I am. I’m sure you’ll hear more about it. I’m gonna take your advice and talk to Libby later today. I want to move out of the hatch if you’ll let me Jack. I’ve talked with Sayid and he’s given me permission to dismantle the shelter he made for Shannon and use the materials somewhere else to build my own shelter and that’s what I want to do.”

Jack looked at Peter, he could tell he was still upset, but he had to ask, to try. He asked Peter about the possibility of moving to the caves, how he would be closer to the water and natural protection, and he offered to let Peter move in with him into his cave. Peter shook his head no and said he really needed to be on his own right now and that he preferred the beach to the closer quarters of the caves. Jack said he understood, but that he wasn’t giving up, and Peter just smiled. Jack said Peter could leave the hatch but that he would come by daily to give him his meds and check on his progress and that maybe that they could go running together some when he felt up to it. Peter said he would enjoy having a running partner again. Jack offered to help him build his new shelter but Peter said that probably wasn’t a good idea. He thought they needed to be very cautious, what with Jack being the leader and the doctor, they needed to be careful. Jack smiled sadly; he wished he wasn’t the unofficial leader or the doctor so he could help him. He hated having to worry about what the others thought. Peter said he wanted to get started on it early. He pulled Jack to himself and embraced him warmly and held him. Then he kissed him on the lips and whispered thank you in his ear. Jack told him to come and get him anytime day or night he needed him. Peter went through his things but decided that he would leave most of them there until he could get his shelter finished. He did take two changes of clothes in a plastic bag that he could tie off to keep them dry, a blanket and his water bottles. He set off in the direction of the beach. He already had an idea of where he wanted to build. Peter got back to the beach quickly, he was eager to start working on the new shelter. He chose a site that had several trees he could use as the foundation. The site was on the edge of the jungle, and the beach. It would be the last one down the beach. He didn’t really want people to be able to see or hear who was coming or going from his tent. Shannon’s shelter was not far away so as he dismantled it he could drag the materials to the new site. He wondered if Sawyer had gotten back and went back to check on him. He got about 50 yards away from Sawyer’s tent and spotted him sitting out on a large rock staring out at the ocean. It hurt him to see Sawyer like that. He walked up slowly and sat down next to him, putting his hand on his leg briefly.

Sawyer kept staring out at the ocean but finally spoke, “Where’d you go?”

“I sat here for over an hour Sawyer, waiting for you to come back. I finally decided to go back to the hatch since Jack was coming to remove my stitches. I thought you might need some space anyway since the scene with Kate. I knew you were upset. I could see the body language and gyrations from here.”

“Yeah, well I’m still upset. That was the last thing I wanted to happen.” Sawyer looked over at Peter.

“Me too. I’m sorry that it did. I don’t want to hurt either one of you or cause any problem between you,” Peter said softly. “I’m real sorry.” Peter sat there not knowing what to do. He really wanted to hug Sawyer but he already knew they were facing plenty of problems as the nature of their relationship became better known through the survivors. He watched the ocean waves as they crashed in.

“I got permission from Sayid to dismantle Shannon’s shelter. I’m planning on using the materials to build my own shelter further down the beach.”

Sawyer stood up and turned towards him. “Why would you want to do that? You know you can stay here with me. I’ve got plenty of room and an extra bed.”

“I know - I knew you would probably offer it, but I feel like I need to be on my own, at least for a while. I’ve got to get my head back on straight Sawyer. I’m upset and my emotions are all over the place. I’m not controlling my impulses very well. I feel like I’m outa control. I’m gonna talk with Libby later today. I need her help.”

Sawyer looked at him sadly. “Is it that bad you can’t tell me?”

Peter looked anxious. “Yep, it’s real bad. I can’t tell you yet. I want to but I’m scared. It’s too traumatic for me and I’m afraid I’ll lose you.” Sawyer could see the hurt and the fear in his eyes.

He put his hand on Peter’s shoulder, “You’ll have to do more than tell me about your past to drive me away. That’s a two way street you know.” Peter shook his head but didn’t say anything. He felt like his throat was a big lump. Sawyer grabbed Peter by the hand and pulled him into his tent. Once they were away from prying eyes, he took Peter in his arms and hugged him for several moments.

Peter kissed him on the cheek and whispered, “I don’t deserve you, you’re too good to me.” Sawyer thought how ironic his words sounded; no one had ever said that to him before.

Sawyer looked at him and asked, “What can I do to help you with your shelter since you’re so all fired sure you want your own place?” Peter smiled and told him he could use all the help he could get and laid out his plans to Sawyer. With the two of them working together all day, they managed to make the shelter about 2/3’s finished by late afternoon. Peter was getting antsy now and Sawyer knew he was thinking about going to find Libby.

Sawyer said, “You know, you could spend the night in my tent again for the night and we could get his finished tomorrow and get your bed and things set up in it.”

Peter looked so tired as he replied, “Okay. I think I need to knock off today anyway and it would be good if I could crash with you tonight.” Sawyer smiled, he was glad Peter was willing to stay with him tonight, especially in the light of the day’s events.

Sawyer continued, “You know you don’t have to go to talk to her now. I’ll listen if you wanna talk.”

Peter looked down at his feet. “I have to talk to her Sawyer, she’s a therapist. If I come apart, she can help put me back together. I’m gonna be real upset when I come back. I’m not gonna want to talk probably. The best thing you can do is just be here with me, ok?”

“Okay, I’ll be here then. I’m gonna go and rassle up some food and fresh water so we’ll have something here to eat.” Peter nodded and left the tent to go in search of Libby.