Aftermath

Content tags added for this chapter: M/F, oral, HJ

Jarrod held Grace in the middle of the night when she woke crying from her own nightmare. He felt guilty that comforting her helped him let go some of his own demons and hoped that she could take some solace in knowing he understood. She seemed to accept his support and relaxed as he murmured words of reassurance. Grace eventually fell asleep still cradled in his arms and they both woke not long after sunrise.

Not much was said that morning. They took turns washing in the stream and Grace made coffee and fried up some bacon while Jarrod saw to the horses. Their breakfast was eaten in silence, but it wasn’t strained, even though Jarrod could tell Grace was lost in her own thoughts. He took the dishes to the stream to rinse them and prepared to break camp.

“Do you really think I can go back?” Grace suddenly asked as Jarrod doused the fire.

Jarrod tucked the coffeepot back in his saddlebag. How many times had he asked himself the same question? “I don’t know,” he said finally. “I’m probably not the best person to answer that.”

She looked at him curiously and Jarrod found that he was at ease enough to elaborate. “I couldn’t handle it,” he admitted. “I was afraid someone would find out what happened. The pity on their faces from the injuries was bad enough,” he looked down at his hand as he flexed the fingers as far as they would go, “but the humiliation I thought I’d suffer if they figured out the rest…” He shook his head. “So I left. I don’t know if it was the best decision, but it was the only one I could make at the time.” He met her gaze. “I miss my family, Grace, more than I ever thought. And I know they’re probably worried about me, just like your uncle is probably worried about you.”

“Are you going to go back?”

Jarrod thought of the sweeping plains of his family’s ranch. He thought of his vivacious sister and the quiet strength of his mother. And he thought about his brothers and the close bond they shared, even though he didn’t always get to spend as much time with them as he’d like to. He missed them all terribly and, with no fear, his heart urged him to go home. He might not be fully healed, but he knew he’d never be complete without their love and support.

“Yes. But not until I make sure you’re all right.”

“But you hardly even know me,” Grace tried to protest.

Jarrod responded with a warm smile. “I have a sister about the same age as you. If she were alone and hurt, I hope there’d be someone willing to take care of her.” He hoisted the saddlebags over his shoulder and walked over to fasten them behind the saddle of his waiting horse before turning and extending his hand. “Come on, I’ll help you up.” Grace accepted his offer and Jarrod got her settled in the saddle. He swung onto his own mount and gathered up the reins. “So where are we off to?” he asked.

Grace stared at the reins in her hands and then turned her brown eyes to meet his blue. “Home,” she said simply. “I want to go home.”


*

Hal Perkins grabbed Grace into a sweeping hug when they dismounted in front of his store. “Oh, Grace, honey, you’re safe!” Jarrod thought he detected a glint of tears in the stout man’s eyes.

“Jarrod rescued me,” she told him and she gave Jarrod a grateful smile. She had taken great care before they reached town to mend her torn dress and Jarrod knew how much effort it took to maintain her brave face.

“Well, I thank you, Mr. Barkley.” Perkins grabbed Jarrod’s hand and shook it vigorously. “So does the rest of the town. We’ve been out searching, but our best tracker is off in the mountains somewheres and we had no idea where to start looking.” He looked Grace over carefully. “Did they hurt you, honey?”

“No.” Grace kept her eyes downcast as she shook her head and Jarrod stepped in to ease her discomfort.

“If you have any law around here, I’d be obliged if you point me in their direction.” Jarrod gestured to the outlaws’ horses. “These belonged to the men who kidnapped Grace and took the money from the bank. Took a look in the saddlebags, from what Grace told me, the money’s all there.”

“And those good-for-nothings?” Perkins’ face was grim.

“Dead,” Jarrod said without elaboration.

Perkins nodded. “Nearest law’s a couple days ride. We didn’t even get a chance to report it, so I reckon everything’s settled unless someone comes around asking.” He stroked his chin thoughtfully. “If you’d care to write out what happened in case there’s any questions, I’ll witness it for you.”

“That’s a fine idea,” Jarrod agreed, “and then I should be on my way.”

Grace put a hand on his arm. “Jarrod, it’s late. Surely you’ll stay for supper.”

“And no need for you to camp out when we’ve got a spare room and bed,” Perkins added. “It’s the least we can do after what you’ve done.”

“All right,” Jarrod accepted gracefully. “I appreciate the hospitality and I’ll head out tomorrow instead.” He smiled at the affectionate arm Perkins placed around Grace’s shoulders and knew she’d be safe and loved as they walked towards home.

Home. The word echoed in his mind as he followed them down the street. He didn’t begrudge the extra day, but his heart yearned to ride through the gate to the big white house and to be embraced by the loving arms of his own family once again.

*

Jarrod lay in bed, thinking about home when he heard the door open. He tensed and then relaxed when he saw the curvy silhouette in the doorway.

“Grace?” he asked as he sat up. Everyone had long since gone to bed and he hoped she was all right.

“I didn’t wake you, did I?”

Jarrod heard the note of uncertainty in her voice. “No. Is something wrong?”

Grace shut the door and sat on the edge of the bed. Her dark hair shone in the moonlight. “You’re really leaving tomorrow?”

Jarrod nodded. “I have to. You’re safe here with your uncle and I need to get back to my life and my family.” He looked at her closely. “Grace, what is it?”

Grace’s breath caught in her throat as she looked him in the eye. “Would you… would you make love to me, Jarrod?”

Jarrod was taken aback at the unexpected request. “Grace, you can’t… I can’t…”

“I’m sorry,” she said, hurriedly getting up, “of course you don’t want me, not after…”

The pain of rejection in her eyes cut him deeply. Jarrod threw off the covers and caught her before she reached the door. “Oh, god, Grace, no, that’s not it at all.” He cupped her face in his hand and turned her head to look at him. “You are an absolutely beautiful and desirable woman and I’m completely flattered.” He guided her back to the bed and sat her down beside him. “But I can’t take advantage of you, Grace, not after what happened.” He closed his eyes in sorrow. “I don’t even know if I can…” He couldn’t voice his fear that he might not be able to be a man to her or any woman.

Grace reached up to touch his cheek. “I’m sorry, Jarrod, I probably shouldn’t have asked. I just…” She hesitated before catching Jarrod’s gaze. “After what happened, I… I know it’s supposed to be enjoyable and I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to be sorry.” Jarrod leaned over and brushed his lips against hers. “And it is supposed to be enjoyable.” As Grace wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer for a longer kiss, Jarrod felt himself become aroused and didn’t fight the feeling. “I wouldn’t want to hurt you, Grace,” he whispered, “and I don’t want to compromise you. But…” He knew other ways he could bring her pleasure that didn’t come with the risk of hurting and found himself wanting to give that to her.

Jarrod drew her down on the bed to lie beside him. He kissed her lips, her face and her neck before slipping his hand under her nightgown. He started to push it up before asking, “May I?”

Grace nodded and Jarrod slowly pushed the fabric up over her legs. Running his hands along her legs to her hips, Jarrod moved to kiss his way up her thigh. He wasn’t about to pin her or make her feel helpless in any way, he wanted her to enjoy the experience.

His hands made lazy circles across her belly as his lips continued to caress the innermost part of her thighs until he felt her relax. He nibbled across where her leg joined her hip and then back to nuzzle the dark nest of hair at the top. “If you want me to stop,” he whispered, “just tell me.”

Grace responded by wordlessly caressing the top of his shoulders and arms. Jarrod took that as permission and settled himself between her legs. He kissed her hidden nub and used his tongue to tweak it gently. Slipping his arms under her thighs, he lifted and spread them to provide his mouth more access. Jarrod’s tongue ran across her clit until Grace arched toward him and he left that spot to lick across her soft folds. He was happy to taste the musky flavour of her arousal and gently probed his tongue into her center. Grace gasped in delight and pushed up against him, so Jarrod thrust his tongue into her faster and harder. He pushed and licked and nuzzled until he felt her hands lace through his hair to pull him closer. Jarrod concentrated his efforts and was rewarded with Grace’s sharp gasps and moans and the clenching of her inner muscles as she reached her peak. He kept his face buried in her warmth until she completely relaxed and then slipped up to lie beside her.

“Did you enjoy that?” he asked as he brushed a loose tendril of hair off her face.

“Oh, god, Jarrod, yes,” Grace breathed. “Is it always supposed to be like that?”

“If your partner cares how you feel, yes,” he promised. And that was the truth of it, he realized. He did care how his partner felt and did care enough not to cause any pain. As Grace said, sex was supposed to be enjoyable and Jarrod’s doubts as to his worth as a man faded.

“But I want to please you too, Jarrod.” Grace’s words broke into his thoughts. “Tell me what you want me to do.”

“Touch me, Grace?” he asked in almost a whisper. Grace nodded and trailed her hand under the unbuttoned top of his underwear. She caressed his chest and stomach only to pause when she reached the hair on his groin and the hard male organ that jutted upwards. Jarrod took her hand in his, guided it to his aching manhood and wrapped her fingers around it. “Stroke me, Grace, like this.” He directed her movements and inhaled sharply at the sensation. It had been a long time since he’d even touched himself and Grace’s touch caused indescribable pleasure. But the friction of her hand on his dry shaft started to get uncomfortable. “We need something to make it easier,” he groaned, “more slippery.”

Grace paused in her movements and sat up. Jarrod saw her rub her hand between her legs to collect her own wetness and more blood rushed to his groin. He closed his eyes in bliss as Grace resumed her ministrations and lost himself in the sensations.

“Harder, Grace, faster,” he breathed and she complied. She stroked his maleness with as much force and speed as she could and Jarrod’s balls tightened against the base of his shaft. “Oh, god,” he moaned and clenched his teeth to keep from crying out as he thrust sharply into her hand. His seed exploded across her fingers and onto his stomach and Jarrod gasped for breath, overwhelmed by the intensity of his orgasm. Grace continued to stroke him slowly as he shuddered and expelled his last drops.

When the last pulse died away, Jarrod pulled her close to him. “Thank you, Grace,” he said softly.

She kissed him lightly. “I’ll miss you, you know.”

Jarrod gazed into her soft brown eyes. “I’ll miss you too. Maybe you can come visit sometime.”

“Maybe.” Grace kissed him again before she slid out of the bed. “Good night, Jarrod.”

“Good night.” He watched as she left and shut the door behind her before closing his eyes to fall asleep.


*


Heath wiped the sweat from his brow as he straightened up from refastening the tongue on the wagon. It was a hot one and he reckoned he had earned a break to cool down. Walking to the pump, he ran the cool water over his head and let it run down his sweaty chest and back.

Heath looked up at the sound of hoofbeats and a lopsided grin spread over his face. The rider’s posture was straight and confident and if his oldest brother looked a little leaner and a littler harder, Heath thought it sat well on him. He slicked back his hair, wiped his hands on his pants and sauntered over to where Jarrod was slowly dismounting.

“Howdy, Jarrod,” Heath said nonchalantly as if his brother had only returned from a day in town, “you’re just in time for dinner.”

Jarrod tipped back his hat and Heath was relieved to see the customary sparkle back in his brother’s eyes. It had been several long months of worry and the family had been overjoyed to receive a letter just the other day proving that Jarrod was all right. From the look on his face, the long sojourn had done its work and Heath sent up a quiet prayer of thanks.

“Y’know Heath, I think I’d appreciate even Audra’s cooking today.”

Heath chuckled as Jarrod slung an arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Don’t think you have anything to worry about,” Heath assured him, “Silas was busy in the kitchen not half an hour ago and it smelled mighty good.” He put his own arm around Jarrod. “We’ll let Ciego come and take care of Jingo. I know there’s a few people who’ll be mighty glad to see you.”

Jarrod blinked back a tear at the unconditional acceptance and love he felt from his brother. And as he went into the house to the exuberant greetings of the rest of his family, Jarrod knew that although it wasn’t all going to be easy, he was on the last steps of the road to healing. With the love of his family, he was certain that he’d once again become the strong, confident man he truly was.

FiN