Would You?

All previous disclaimers apply.

Author's note: Epilogue to hopeful ending. Hope you like it!

"I hate Lima," Kurt muttered into his phone as he unpacked his suitcase, hanging the clothes that needed it in the closet of the room he had long since abandoned, "I should be at home in my beautiful, big apartment designing my spring line and instead I'm here in fucking Lima, Ohio. Tell me again, Mercedes, just why I came back."

"Quit tripping, boy," He could hear her eyes rolling over the phone, "You're visiting Lima because you haven't been back in four years and you promised your Dad and Carole that you would come home for Christmas this year. It's a week, Kurt, it isn't going to kill you. Plus, you've been saying for months that you've been meaning to get back to see Rebeka and Miri's home from school for the holidays. There are still a lot of people in Lima who love you and who you love. So, take off the bitch face and be that fabulous, charming, grown man I know is in you somewhere."

"I hate you," Kurt muttered.

"No, you don't," Mercedes said cheerfully, "So…when is Lance flying in?"

"He's not," Kurt said with a sigh, "I told him not to bother. I really don't want to disrupt Rebeka and Miri and my dad with someone who might not even be around for the long haul. Not to mention Quinn and Ari."

"Kurt, you know I love you," Mercedes sigh was obvious and full of disdain, "But, how long are you going to use that bull-shit excuse?"

"What?" He looked at his phone incredulously before he realized that she couldn't see him.

"Take that look off of your face," She hissed. (He almost smiled.) "You know exactly what I'm talking about! You've been dating Lance for how long? You've been living with Lance for how long?"

Four years and two years respectively, Kurt thought, but kept his mouth shut.

"How the hell can you say that Lance isn't in it for the long haul? You've vacationed with his family, Kurt and he's never even met any single person important to you!"

"He's met you!" Kurt shouted back, matching her tone.

"Yeah, I'm the only one! How long do you think that Lance is going to stay around if you don't stop with this bull? You treat him like you're ashamed of him! Never taking him to meet your family! Lance is the one who should be questioning whether you're in it for the long haul! He's a good guy, Kurt! And you have to stop making him second to Noah! He's been dead for ten years! And you need to move on!" She went silent for a second, just long enough for both of them to feel the pain that never really went away, "I'm sorry, Kurt. That was out of line."

"Yeah, it was." He whispered.

"Look…" Her voice was resigned, "We're both tired and we're both cranky. Just…call me when you get up in the morning, okay?"

"Yeah," Kurt let his head fall back and closed the suitcase before mentally saying 'Fuck it," and pushing it to the floor. It hit with a satisfying clatter before he concentrated on his conversation with Mercedes again, "I'll talk to you in the morning."

"I love you, Kurt."

"Love you, too, 'Cedes. Have a good night. Tell Lucas hi for me."

He sighed as he hung up the phone and rubbed the back of his neck. It was always hard to be back in this town, back in this house, back in this room. But, Mercedes hadn't been laughing. He'd been promising his dad he'd come home for the holidays for years. His dad and Carole had come to New York every year that Kurt hadn't been able to make it out to Ohio, and that was a big sacrifice for his father, who hated the city with as much passion as Kurt loved it with. So, it was only fair that he come out. And he hadn't seen Rebeka for years, though they talked on the phone for hours at least once a week. Miri had come out and spent her spring break with him and they had had a blast, but he'd been feeling guilty since she had mentioned that 'Mama' really missed him. That was months of guilt eating on him. He was glad to see those he loved in the place they were the most comfortable, but still…Mercedes was right. He was tired and he was cranky. Travel always did that to him. He abbreviated his skin care routine because he just didn't have the energy to deal with it in its entirety, slipped into his pajamas, (He noticed that they were a pair that Lance had bought him, he noticed with a wince.) and got into bed. It didn't take him long to relax into sleep.

He knew it was a dream from the moment he opened his eyes because he was in the room he'd had in high school. Granted, his father hadn't changed much if anything –he'd noticed when he came downstairs that night to unpack and settle in- but there were little things that told him that this was definitely his room ten years in the past. Noah's guitar wasn't propped up in the corner. Noah's picture wasn't on his bedside table. He'd taken the framed "Gypsy" poster with him to college. The frame had gotten broken and the poster ruined accidently in the move from the dorm his Freshman year. What was more was that the body spooning him tightly as they slept was very familiar and one he hadn't felt in years. It was bigger than the one he was used to now and the arm draped across his stomach was heaver. Whoever was spooning him was decidedly not Lance. Lance wasn't big and Lance didn't smell like a comforting mix of leather, Ivory soap, and something that was uniquely…

"Noah," He breathed out on a soft cry, trying to keep the tears in his eyes from falling.

"Yeah, babe, I'm right here." The voice he hadn't heard, but had wanted to hear, for years made the sobs escape as he rolled over to look at his lover. His love. Noah looked just as he had before his death, just as he had their last night together. He was smiling down at Kurt gently and Kurt knew again that this was only a dream because in life Noah had never, ever looked so utterly content and at peace with himself. He looked so beautiful. Kurt lost his composure and leaned his face into Noah's chest before releasing a wail that he hadn't even known had been building inside of him. Noah simply held him as he sobbed, shushing him gently, his chin resting lightly on Kurt's hair as Kurt clung and released all of ten years without Noah that he'd been holding in. When he was finally done his nose was swollen and snotty and his eyes felt dry and tired.

"Ugh," he murmured, "If this is just a dream why can't I look and feel fabulous after an emotional purge?"

Noah began to laugh heartily and it was such a relief to hear after so long that Kurt couldn't help but lean into him again and simply bask in the warmth and life of the sound. He laid his head against Noah's chest and reveled in the strong heartbeat against his cheek.

"Fuck, Hummel," Noah murmured softly when he had stopped laughing.

"The mouth on me," Kurt finished.

"You know, it's not exactly a dream, babe. More like a living memory. It's hard to explain. The ladies and I thought you might need this right now. You're floundering a little bit, Kurt."

"I know," Kurt buried his face in Noah's chest again.

"Lance wants to love you so bad, babe. Why won't you let him?"

"Noah…" Kurt whispered, "I love you."

"And I love you, babe," Noah took Kurt's chin in his hand and tilted his face up to look at him, "But, Kurt, I'm dead."

Kurt flinched and tried to look away, but Noah wouldn't let him so he closed his eyes instead, surprised when he had enough moisture in his body to cry when the tears slipped out from behind his eyelids.

"Babe…Kurt…look at me."

Kurt shook his head. He knew it was childish, but he couldn't help it.

"Babe," Noah whispered, "We don't have a lot of time together tonight. Do you really want to spend it with me trying to convince you to look at me?"

"No!" Kurt's gasped, his eyes flew open, and he hugged Noah to him desperately, "You can't leave me again."

"I can't stay," Noah said quietly, "Kurt, you know how much I hate to be cliché, but…I never really left you. I never really will. That's why I'm here tonight. I gave my life so that you could live. Not so that you mourn me for the rest of yours. I don't want that for you. I want you to be happy. And Lance can make you happy. You know he can."

"Noah…"

"And don't start with that 'betraying my memory' crap. It's bullshit. Just because you let yourself love Lance does not mean that you loved me any less when we were together and it doesn't mean that you don't love me now. It just means that you're giving yourself permission to be happy again. I've already given you mine. Why can't you do the same for yourself? I loved you enough to die for you, Kurt. Can you love me enough to live for me?"

Noah pulled him close and held him as he began to cry again. It was hard to let go, he knew. But, he had a feeling Kurt would finally be able to let him rest in peace now. Maybe he should have done this years ago.

"I love you, Noah," Kurt whispered against his neck, "I've missed you so much."

"Missed you, too, babe." Noah kissed his hair.

"Noah?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm never going to see you again, am I?"

"No, babe, you're not. But, you're going to be so busy you won't even think about me, promise. What with you and Lance adopting the twins and all."

"Twins?" Kurt asked, his eyes wide with wonder.

"Yep. Little girls. They're going to be the light of your guys' lives. But, don't tell Lance. I wasn't supposed to tell you in the first place. I can't tell you when they'll come along, but it'll be soon. Why don't you go to sleep now, babe? Dream of your girls."

Kurt tucked his head under Noah's chin once more and closed his eyes, feeling an overwhelming need to sleep all of the sudden. "Goodbye, Noah," he whispered.

"Goodbye, Kurt." Noah kissed him one more time, then slipped him onto his pillow gently.

"Are you ready to go?" Crystal asked quietly.

"Yeah. Time to go," Noah answered.

"You know, you weren't supposed to tell him about the twins, Noah."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Noah nudged Crystal with his shoulder, "Like you guys never broke the rules." They both laughed and then They were gone.

Kurt came awake again suddenly. It was still the middle of the night. His room was exactly as it shoulder be. He could still feel Noah's arms around him. He hugged himself and smiled. Somehow…he felt light, free of the grief he had carried for so long, and ready to take on his life for the first time since Noah died. Was it really that easy? He asked himself. Was it as easy as being able to say goodbye and having Noah give him permission to move on? Yes, he reasoned. It was. It was that easy because he really was in love with Lance and it had been ten years. Mercedes was right. It was time. He had just needed Noah to tell him it was okay. And Noah had come to him.

"Forever." He murmured and could almost hear Noah answer. He smiled and picked up his phone.

"Hello?" Lance's smooth baritone, fogged with sleep, was a welcome sound, "Kurt? Honey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Kurt said happily. "I love you, Lance."

"I love you, too, honey," Lance sounded a little shocked, but mostly happy, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm great. Do you still have your ticket?"

"Of course."

"Lance…I would really like it if you came to Lima and spent Christmas with me and my family."

"That sounds great, honey. I'll be there tomorrow night."

"I'll pick you up at the airport. I'll let you get back to sleep now. Love you, Lance."

"Love you, too, Kurt."

Kurt hung up the phone. Kissed his fingertips and pressed them to Noah's picture before he opened the drawer of the night stand and put it inside. He closed the drawer with a smile.

"Goodbye, Noah," He whispered, "I'll love you forever."

He fell asleep with a smile on his face.