He Needed Me

Chapter 13

The Doctor studied the setting sun intently, waiting and holding his breath for it to disappear beneath the horizon. His cell mates were shifting from foot to foot in nervousness, the anxiety of an uncertain future keeping them on edge. He slowly started breathing in relief as the sun disappeared and the lighting devices hovering slightly above them switched on automatically, “As if it wouldn’t set without you watching it.”

He very maturely stuck his tongue out, “I’ve learned never to take anything for granted.”

The familiar grinding sound of the TARDIS engines caught both their attention and Scholar tipped her head back, “I missed that sound.” Then she frowned to herself, “Seems a bit out of tune, though.”

Frowning back at her, “She’s in perfect pitch.”

Turning her frown to the Doctor, “No, she’s two decibels off pitch.”

Glaring now, running fingers through his hair, “She’s perfectly perfect.”

Leaning against the bars, “Theta, she’s grinding subspace buffers-...”

“Oi! That’s not my name and stop calling me that...” He tugged at his ear, clearly irritated, “And the TARDIS, my TARDIS, is in pristine condition, thank you very much.”

Huffing and bending the bars to her cell, calling an end to the argument with that one startling act, “You’re a pillock, you know that right?” When she caught his startled expression she smirked as she easily stepped through the hole she’d created, “I really should leave you to rot.” He pulled a face at her and she gave a tortured sigh. Eyeing the other prisoners, “He gets out first, boys, then you can run for it.” They shifted uneasily and nodded, not wanting to try their luck against a creature strong enough to bend titanium plating. The Doctor glanced from her to the bars before frowning to himself. He gave the bar a lick and Scholar wrinkled her nose at him, “Ew.”

His advanced taste buds easily identified the metal. Titanium plating with a nickel core, “How did you do that?” What she did was impossible. It was like trying to break a diamond.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “First of all...that was just disgusting.” He shrugged, “Secondly, we’re already strong to begin with...since I’m sharing with Shadow she made me stronger.”

He leaned back as she gripped both bars, the part he hadn’t licked, and tried to shove them apart. They wouldn’t budge and everyone drooped. But he spotted the mischief in her eyes, his tone warning, “Scholar...”

Rolling her eyes and shoving the metal aside, dragging him out by the hand, “Spoil sport.”

She and the Doctor had made a run for it, the others not far behind in escaping, “Stop this instant!”

Scholar glanced over her shoulder, watching the flamingo appearing creature pointing to hired security as they all scattered in ten different directions, “Not likely.”

The two looked at one another and laughed, heading straight for the TARDIS. Rose opened one door slowly, yelping and jumping out of the way as the two disappeared inside, leaving an outraged owner behind them, feathers quite literally flying. The Doctor firmly closed the door and caught a very happy Rose, giving her that squeeze he’d wanted to hours earlier, “Guess you didn’t need me after all.”

He kissed her firmly and she giggled against him, pulling back to grin at her, “I’ll always need you.”

She grinned back, playfully smacking his shoulder, “Exciting? Not so much. Boring as could be, thanks for asking.” She teasingly held up his wrist with the green band and a raised eyebrow, “I’m keeping this next time you feel all superior and need a good ego stomping.”

Pouting, “Oi! I’m allowed a mistake now and again. I’m a Timelord, doesn’t mean I’m perfect.”

Shaking her head at him, “You’re so useless.”

Pulling her closer, “I don’t think you mean that.”

She trailed a lazy finger down his nose and sighed softly, “I suppose not...” She gave him a sweet smile, happy he was back without a scratch and he returned it. She playfully licked her lips and with a wolfish smile he leaned in closer.

“Allow me to pull out my cavity riddled teeth. That was...” Scholar shuddered from next to the console in exaggerated disgust, arms crossed as she looked over the two of them. Giving Rose a firm look of warning, “By the by, don’t do anything near his tongue until he washes his mouth.”

Rose just sighed, “What’d he lick?”

“Metal.”

Rolling her eyes, “Doctor...”

He just grinned and grabbed Rose’s hand, tugging her along and completely ignoring the conversation around him, “Rose, this is Scholar...and Shadow. She just goes by Scholar-...”

“For now.” Shrugging, extending a hand, “I believe this is your custom, Rose.” Rose grinned, perhaps a little unsure but not unfriendly, firmly grasping the outstretched hand. She marveled that Scholar’s skin was warmer than the Doctor’s, even though they were supposed to be the same species. Scholar winked, “That’s because I’m sharing a body with another being. We generate our own heat.”

Frowning in warning, the Doctor quickly came up to Rose’s side, “Scholar.” It just wasn’t cricket to skim surface thoughts from others without permission.

Rolling her eyes since she’d never followed that etiquette and he knew it, “If you haven’t taught her to shield her thoughts properly from telepaths that’s not my fault or her’s, it’s your’s.”

“Some things should still be considered private-...”

Raising an eyebrow, “Since when do you understand the concept of privacy?”

Rose raised both eyebrows, “Cor, she’s just like you...” Mumbling to herself but still heard by both, “...rude and not ginger...”

The Doctor gave Rose an unhappy frown even as Scholar continued, not oblivious just not insulted since
it was true, “At your age the least you can do is put your intellect to good use instead of hoping and praying luck will drag you through life unscathed.” She crossed her arms as she stared him down, not intimidated by him in the slightest, “And unless this never occurred to you, since the two of you share a bond...I assume she’s your mate.”

Wrapping his arms possessively around her middle since he’d just got through discussing that fact with her, “She is.”

A blush quickly rose on her pale skin, “And the two of you have...” She grimaced, as uptight as he was
apparently about that kind of talk but he got the point.

The Doctor blushed just as badly and glared, “Get to the point!”

Rose giggled suddenly, not at all embarrassed, “That’s funny, coming from you...get to the point.” Another giggle as she leaned against his chest, “Like you’re not known for your rambling.”

Scholar frowned suddenly at Rose, “Why would I want to be ginger?” Rose laughed and snuggled more
firmly against the Doctor. He gave her a sour look while Scholar sighed and shook her head, “Never mind. The point, dear Doctor, is that the two of you are a matched set. She is vulnerable through you. If someone attacked your mind, a species strong enough that even you can’t defend from, you leave her open for that same attack. Through you.”

He firmed his chin. He may not be as telepathically strong as Scholar but he could easily hold his own against telepathic hostility, “My shielding couldn’t be stronger. No one gets into my head without permission.”

“Through her?”

He opened his mouth to retort, then froze. He blinked twice before his eyes widened and arms reflexively tightened around Rose’s middle. He wanted his mind saturated with Rose and had left their mental bond wide open. If someone were to mentally attack Rose, getting to him would be so easy through their connection. Reluctantly he admitted, “Alright, I didn’t think of that.”

Scholar gave a mock gasp, “You didn’t think ahead of time? Perish the thought.” Rose snorted.

Frowning dangerously at Scholar since he didn’t like being made fun of in front of Rose, “Stop it.” She
just shrugged a bit and leaned against the console. He gave Rose a nuzzle, “Looks like we’re parked for a few days while I teach you basic mental blocking. Telepathy isn’t terribly common but can’t take any chances.”

Scholar gave a tortured sigh, “Which means I am as well, then.” The Doctor was already puffing himself up for a shouting match but Rose easily turned his focus back to her by whispering softly in his ear. Too soft to be heard by the Timelady, whatever it was had his attention lightening quick and he hummed softly in happy approval. Scholar’s face contorted, “You’re still doing that? Bloody hell...”

Both turned to look at her, Rose frowning, “Wha’?” Scholar just made a few gestures, unable to actually ask while Rose’s frown deepened, “You mean that humming thing, cause I asked about that and-...”

The Doctor firmly put a hand over Rose’s mouth, his face scarlet and glaring ferociously at his sister. Voice carefully contained but still quivering, “Not. One. Word.”

Rolling her eyes and turning on her heels, “I’ll be in my room.”

His voice called after her, suspiciously hopeful and yet not, “I could drop you off somewhere.” Rose didn’t feel too guilty the relief she felt bubbling inside herself that soon she’d have her Doctor all to herself. She’d worried he’d make a companion out of her. Not that she disliked the Timelady, she was just being possessive.

The brunette glanced over her shoulder but chose not to comment on his still embarrassed state, “Doctor, you have to have the shielding tested by someone not bonded to her. Who better, but someone you can trust?” She glanced at Rose and winked, seemingly knowing what she was feeling. She made it two steps before pausing and looking over her shoulder again, “If you don’t tell her by the time I’m gone, Theta forever you will be.” And she was gone.

Rose frowned after a moment, glancing at her mate out of the corner of her eye before shaking off his grip, “Theta? Her room?”

He closed his eyes and shrugged, deciding to address the latter question, “Two levels down at the very end of the corridor...she likes being alone.” He suddenly shifted gears and his blush vanished, grinning, “Before she vanished from Gallifrey she traveled with me for about a month, teaching me to fly TARDIS. My poor ship grew into a battle ground at times, neither of us wanting to budge even if something she was telling me was right.”

“Is that normal?”

His grin turned into a soft smile, pulling her back against him and resting his chin on her shoulder, “Not really, no. Well, the fighting was but not only two Timelords traveling. I didn’t pass my piloting tests, so I was going to be stuck in research.” He snorted, “Couldn’t stand for it. So I...uh, borrowed a decommissioned TARDIS and Scholar caught up with me before the High Council did. Begged her not to turn me in and she decided to teach me all the tricks she’d learned...she never said but I’m pretty sure she called in a favor or two to keep my status as a Timelord.” He smirked, “They never liked me after that.”

Nodding and leaning back against him, “So, you and her were good friends then?”

Kissing a bare patch of skin at her neck before digging into her pocket for his screwdriver. She wiggled away from him before pulling it out of her back pocket and handing it over. He immediately sliced through the band on his wrist and when Rose imperiously held out her own wrist he obliged. She kissed his nose and with an impish smile pocketed both bands.

He just grinned and pulled her back into his arms, “She’s my sister so, yeah...well, by human standards she’s a half sister since we have different mothers but...things like that weren’t important to my people.” He frowned a bit, “Although now she’s Shadow as well...wonder how much of her is left...” Rose spun around and cupped his face, knowing how much having just one member of his family alive meant. Even if she was different. Even if she might soon walk out of his life forever, he’d still know she was out there somewhere. Some when. Kissing him gently on the lips, relieved when he didn’t shift away but pulled her closer and breathed her name, “...Rose...” She nuzzled his cheek and took his hand, not saying a word as she led him to their quarters. She didn’t have to.

***

Scholar was settled back on the grating, staring up at the ceiling and watching the stars in the sky. It was a favorite hobby of her’s once. She frowned to herself for a moment. Was it still her favorite? She sighed, realizing she honestly didn’t know. She’d spent so much time being a non-responsive pet for that auction she honestly didn’t know herself anymore. It really had been her intent to stay there. Neither side of her was interested in life. But then her little brother popped into existence in front of her and suddenly she realized Gallifrey wasn’t completely gone. It lived in her and it lived in him. And apparently he’d been busy if his new mate was any indication. Engaging girl this Rose. She was special, but Scholar wasn’t sure why. And she did love a good intrigue.

But there was something else bothering her but she couldn’t quite place it yet. It provoked curiosity, an emotion foreign to her after so long but she yearned to investigate. So she’d come to the protected observation deck of the TARDIS to think. Eight centuries and the observatory hadn’t changed a bit, “Oh, I love this room. I came here all the time when Jack traveled with us.”

Tilting her head back to look at an upside down Rose, “Jack?”

She nodded and crossed to the Gallifreyan, sitting down next to her. The Doctor had started her with some basic techniques before shooing her to make nice with his sister while he settled up a few repairs. She hadn’t felt it had gone so well. She wasn’t all that good at it, in her opinion. She could do the sending thoughts part just fine but that seemed to be the extent of it. Her Doctor had reassured her that for a nontelepathic species like humans typically were, she was far more excelled than he could ever hope for. But she’d exhausted herself with their practice so here she was, making nice, “Yeah...Captain Jack Harkness...he was a friend, a really great one...like a brother almost.” She frowned, “A really randy brother who flirted with anything with a pulse.” She pursed her lips and thought to herself, “Could never figure out which of us, me or Doctor, he wanted to jump more...”

Scholar tipped her head back and barked a laugh, “Oh, Rassilon. Theta-damn...Doctor must have been mortified.”

Giggling, “He was, always complaining ‘bout it...’Stop it’...’Can you do your flirting somewhere else’...that was back when he had a Northern accent, though.”

Blinking, “Northern?”

“Yeah...” Rolling her eyes, “Because apparently lots of planets have a north.” She sighed before a grin tugged at her lip, “He was all big ears and blue eyes, less chatter and more snark. Both of ‘em like bananas though. Then he regenerated...scared the hell out of me, let me tell ya.” Rose frowned suddenly, “Why do you call him that? Theta?”

Grinning evilly, “It’s his nickname from schooling. He’s always hated it but he just ignored it and at the time it suited him a little.”

Rose gaped sarcastically, “Doctor? My Doctor has a proper name?”

She looked back up at the ceiling, “We’re all born with proper names as I’m sure you know.” Rose grinned since she knew, “Some of us became Timelords and those that did chose a new name, a title if you will, so that words would have no sway over us. We leave our past quite literally behind us to traverse the stars...it wouldn’t really make sense to a human...”

Rose nodded silently, easily accepting that some things were beyond her grasp, at least for now. She knew his name and that he’d chosen Doctor later but he hadn’t said why. She nibbled on her lip for a minute before tentatively asking, “The TARDIS is alive, right?”

Not even glancing at the girl this time, “You already know the answer to that.”

“Alright, yeah, you’re right. But I really want to know where she gets her knowledge from. Is she like a ginormous computer or does it come from the Doctor?” The Doctor always avoided the issue, always distracting her with adventures or exaggerated stories and it occurred to her talking about TARDIS might hit too raw a nerve about the war or Gallifrey so she’d stopped asking.

Scholar blinked and thought to herself for a bit before replying, “She’s no computer, that much I can tell you. She’s sentient, you’ve seen that for yourself...but it is the Doctor that gives her awareness. Her knowledge isn’t really what you perceive. It’s not like a book, flipping open the pages and reading information...it’s laws. Experiences. Reality. It’s the Doctor and the Time Vortex and the Eye of Harmony all wrapped up in one confusing mess-...”

“Wait, what’s the Eye of Harmony?”

Turning onto her side to look Rose over, “He really doesn’t explain things to you, does he?”

Rose shrugging with a sigh, “He tells me what I need to know.” Grinning weakly, “Or what I’ll understand.”

Frowning and sitting up, “No, he really doesn’t. You’re his mate, his choice, his match. You have every right to be as informed of his...” She shook her head sharply before huffing and scooting closer, “Alright, I’m going to lightly touch your temples and if I’m gentle enough, I should be feeding you exactly what you need to know.”

Leaning back warily, “And if you’re not?”

Smirking, “You’ll get a bit more than I want you to but it won’t damage you, in either case. Not to
worry, I’m an expert when it comes to telepathic manipulation.” Gesturing, “Now come on, you’re supposed to be making nice with me.” Rose pouted, realizing her blocking techniques weren’t nearly good enough. She couldn’t even feel the Timelady in her head. Scholar grinned, “Actually, your shield isn’t bad for a beginner. And you have to remember, I’ve been at the telepathy game for a long time.”

She took in a breath but straightened her spine and met Scholar’s eyes. The Gallifreyan smiled just a little in reassurance, carefully touching each temple before jerking away a split second later. Rose blinked, feeling the world settle after a moment of dizziness. She frowned to herself before looking back to Scholar who had her eyes closed and was frowning, “So the Eye of Harmony, which was a blackhole created and buried on Gallifrey powered the TARDIS. All TARDISes really. But now that it’s gone, the only difference is that the TARDIS feeds directly on the rift’s temporal energies on Earth instead of the Eye. The TARDIS travels through the Time Vortex and since time isn’t so much as a watch reading as life itself it has it’s own sentience. The TARDIS is imprinted to the Doctor, so all of his morals and experiences and knowledge are locked away with it. And since the TARDIS is so old he’s a bit unstable after regeneration because of it.” Blinking, “Bout right?”

Scholar slowly opened her eyes, expression grim, “Not horribly inaccurate but we have a more pressing matter. Tell me...how long have your emotions been off, would you say?”

***

With a small cry of victory the Doctor popped out of the grating, holding a fused circuit and a large grin, “Gotcha!” This small little piece of plastic and wire had been his arch nemesis for nearly three weeks. He’d noticed TARDIS was a little sluggish going into the past and had started searching for a cause during their down time.

Jumping to the console, he flipped a few switches and felt very satisfied to see everything apparently back in working order. Like an exuberant teenage he pumped his fist in victory and tossed the circuit over his shoulder. A loving form pressed against his back, arms wrapping around his waist and he grinned. This was more than welcome, hugs and kisses for the conquering hero. Turning to give his mate a kiss, he gave a pained yelp as firm hands immediately moved to his vulnerable temples.

Lightening quick, his own hands wrapped around Scholar’s wrists to try to pry her off him, no doubt breaking something in the process considering he wasn’t being gentle about it, “What the hell-...”

Why would she do this? His own sister turning against him? The shadow demon, just had to be. It probably absorbed Scholar’s memories when it had highjacked her body and he’d stupidly let it into the TARDIS and left it unsupervised near Rose. What was he thinking??

She just grit her teeth, ignoring the pain, and methodically forced her way through his mental barriers. He gasped as they failed all too easily, his consciousness suddenly swamped with waves of his repressed emotions he now had no possibility of controlling. No longer trying to push her away, he clung to her, “You’ve pushed this aside too long. You’ve no choice. The pain must be dealt with or you’ll kill her.” The Doctor froze, staring at Scholar as she spoke to him in Gallifreyan as if scolding a small child. Well, he was younger than her by more than two hundred years but still, “She’s human, she doesn’t have the mental capabilities to filter your emotions like a Gallifreyan mate. All that you’re doing is foisting your negative emotions onto her. That’s why her moods are so erratic...and it will only grow worse with time.”

He wasn’t even conscious of his slip into his native language. Just that Scholar had been speaking to him in it and he responded in kind. Hissing at her angrily, “You touched her mind? Of all the-...”

Shaking him a bit, just enough to shut him up, “You’ve been forcing Rose to deal with your emotions, unconsciously. Search the bond.”

He did as she instructed, reaching out with his mind to trace the bond and came to the horrifying conclusion that she was right. He’d left himself completely open to her complex array of emotions and as a consequence, Rose was being bombarded with all of his. All of the negatives that he’d been pushing back for years since the war and even before it were being leaked over to Rose. As a human with no true telepathic skills and as a relative youth compared to him, she had no way to deal with them since they weren’t her own. He couldn’t do this. He’d seen far too much to ever be able to cope because Timelords simply did not dwell on their emotions.

His eyes locked on her own. She wasn’t betraying him, she was trying to help him, “You can handle them.”

In desperation his mind reached out to Scholar’s, knowing she could filter his emotions. Knowing she had the experience to do it and mentally recoiling from Shadow who was too different for his consciousness to latch onto. They could probably speak to one another, mind to mind, but filtering his emotions would take truly intimate contact which was no longer possible.

She’d known from the start he’d react that way to Shadow. Her eyes held only regret as she gently stroked his temples with her thumbs in a soothing manner, “I’m sorry...Rose can’t cope and I can’t help you...there’s no other way...”

He trembled and tried shaking his head, looking for all the world like a small child. Just because he didn’t dwell on his feelings doesn’t mean he didn’t have them. Years of anger and self loathing and loneliness, not to mention the pain of the part he played in the war...in the destruction of his people, “I’m scared...so scared...no, no, no, please...” He knew she could force him. Knew that his own telepathy paled compared to her own, only partly because of her age.

But Scholar retreated further, the sea of emotions calming around him. She knew it was a frightening and daunting undertaking for him and one she wouldn’t completely force on him. Gallifrey was gone. There were no more Timelords left and the TARDIS was a very old ship, no longer having the filtering capability of younger models that had existed, “Choose. I can leave matters as they are...and within a few years Rose will either go insane or die and it will be entirely your fault...or...”

He gasped and trembled, silently searching her eyes for any sign of deception, very much aware that Rose was still holding him tightly. If anything, her hold had gotten stronger, a silent trail of tears running down her face. She could feel his fear even if she couldn’t understand the conversation between Scholar and her Doctor.

What he’d initially mistaken for a hug was actually Rose showing him unflagging support. She was there for him, for whatever he chose. He sagged into her, knowing he’d do anything to protect her...even from himself. But these emotional barriers he’d forged over the years were strong and solid. To deal with his emotions they’d have to come down. But he couldn’t do it alone. Scholar was the only one who could. Whispering softly, so much so that it was barely heard, “...do it...” He screamed, head jerking back as his emotional barriers collapsed.