Peanut Butter Banana Sandwiches

Night to Day


“Robbie!” a happy voice squealed. He grunted as something small collided with his back and knocked him forward slightly.
“Nice to see you too, Pixie. Next time I’ll be sure to wear cushions to absorb the impact.”
She was hugging him and he tried to walk, hoping she would let go. There was a sale on popcorn and chips and such at the store. She didn’t let go, and he ended up walking through town with a nearly-ten-year-old pink girl attached to his waist and dragging along behind him.
“Sportacus would give me a piggy back ride,” she quipped. Robbie snorted.
“Good thing I’m not him then. You’d throw out my back.” She squeaked in indignation.
“I would not!”
“You would. Besides, you’re getting too old for piggy back rides anyway.”
Stephanie pouted, but started walking under her own power and let go of him. He tried not to tense up when she grabbed his hand.
“Robbie?”
“Yeah?”
“Could you maybe take me shopping?”
He stopped and looked at her.
“Why in the world would I want to do that?”
She bit her lip and stared at her feet.
“I need a hair cut,” she answered quietly. “And I was thinking… about some new clothes.” He stared at her for nearly half a minute. He knew he shouldn’t. It was bad enough she needed that “elf charm” around her neck at all times. He shouldn’t be encouraging it. If she wanted a new style, that was one thing. Children often went through phases like that. But he knew well enough what was triggering this sudden change, and her coming to him instead of Sportacus for it. He sighed.
“Fine.”
She looked up at him with such a thankful smile on her face, he almost forgot to feel guilty.



It had almost been worth it to see Sportacus spit out a mouthful of water in shock. It would have been funnier if he had let the pink pixie get her ears pierced like she had begged for.
Of course, when she automatically hid behind him and Sportacus was looking like it was dawning on him what had just happened, the humor drained from the situation rather quickly.
“What…” Sportacus gaped. “What did you do?” Robbie glanced to see if she would answer, but she was still hiding behind him. Ugh. Kids. Robbie shrugged.
“She wanted to ‘go shopping’,” he explained.
“Stephanie,” Sportacus started, moving closer. “Your hair…”
She fingered it self-consciously. It felt a million times different, what was left of it. It had been cut short and styled so that it looked all ruffled up, as if she just gotten out of bed and it stuck that way. Having so much hair cut off made her head feel lighter. It was definitely different.
“I like it,” she murmured, shifting. Sportacus paused, swallowing.
“Well… it… it does look cute I guess…”
She looked up again and smiled. He smiled thinly back.
“But… the clothes…”
She had ditched the pink all together. It was very close to being disturbing. Instead, she seemed to have taken a page from Trixie and decided to dress more boyish. Granted, Trixie had no fashion sense and Stephanie did, so Stephanie still looked adorable in the clothes rather than awkward. But now she might well pass for a feminine boy. Sportacus was still recovering from the shock.
“Why?” he finished. Stephanie glanced away and shrugged.
“I didn’t like the dresses anymore,” she said simply. Robbie pointed out the door.
“There’s more stuff down there,” he said. “It’s hard enough climbing all the way up here. So you can go get it.” Sportacus paled.
“More?”
“Yes, more. Unclog your pointy little ears.” He frowned when he felt Stephanie tugging on his wrist-cuff.
“Robbie, be nice,” she whispered. He huffed. She had told him that fifteen different times today. Sales clerks were utterly useless, that wasn’t his fault. Sportacus blinked.
“You took her shopping,” he said finally. Robbie glanced at him.
“Yeah. Looks that way.”
“You could have told me!”
Robbie shrugged again.
“I could have let her get her ears pierced too, but I didn’t.” Sportacus gawked.
“What?! Why?”
“It makes me look grown up!” Stephanie spoke up, looking determined.
“But… why do you want to look grown up?” Sportacus asked, looking puzzled. He had yet to fully grow up himself, and couldn’t fathom why she wanted to give the appearance of being older than she was. She slid her eyes to the other side of the room and shrugged.
Sportacus felt something freeze up inside him. It was the same evasive look Robbie used. He shot an icy hard look at Robbie, and was satisfied to see the man fidgeted, uncomfortable under it.
“Steph,” he said softly. “Why do you want to look more grown up all of a sudden?”
He stepped back, startled, when she abruptly turned angry.
“Because I just WANT to, alright?!” she yelled, and stomped off to her room, slamming her door shut and effectively sealing out the world outside. Sportacus blinked, dazed at the sudden outburst.
“You shouldn’t have pushed her,” Robbie commented mildly. Sportacus rounded on him.
“Why did you take her out like that?” he demanded. Robbie shifted, thrown off by the sudden harshness.
“She asked for it,” he defended.
“It’s not like you to just give in to what she wants,” Sportacus continued, getting worked up. “You did it for a reason. To get to me?”
“No!”
“Then why?”
“Why is it such a big deal?!”
“Because you’re hiding something from me!”
“It doesn’t have to do with you anyway!”
“It does if it involves you and Stephanie!”
“Is that jealousy?”
“It’s concern!”
“Could have fooled me.”
“Robbie!”
He jerked back slightly, startled. He suddenly remembered that he hated yelling, and wanted to curl in on himself. He quieted as Sportacus tried to calm himself down.
“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find out on my own,” he finally said, looking for all the world like he wanted to cry but couldn’t. Robbie forced himself to not look away. “But if I find out on my own, I’ll put whatever puzzle you’re trying to hide together.”
Robbie shuddered, suddenly feeling cold.
“There’s a reason,” he muttered. “There’s a reason I don’t want to tell you. I’m not just being stubborn.”
Sportacus smoothed his mustache compulsively.
“Yeah,” he replied, sighing. He looked at Robbie and motioned him closer. Robbie did so, cautiously, until Sportacus reached out and hugged him. Robbie felt the warmth go straight through him, and he felt like crying again. This was too much.
“I’m still upset,” Sportacus said after a moment. “I wish you would have at least told me she wanted to go and do that. I would’ve let her.”
Robbie swallowed heavily and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the elf.
“Yeah, well…” he started. “She wanted it to be a surprise, I guess.” He relaxed a little when Sportacus laughed.
“Yeah, a surprise. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. And I never feel that way.”
A few more moments passed before Robbie summoned up the nerve to speak.
“I’ll tell you.”
Sportacus didn’t look up, but he laid his head against Robbie’s chest and listened to how fast his heart was beating.
“Now?”
“No… later.”
“Robbie…”
“Tonight, then. Okay?”
“Okay. Meanwhile, you want to stay here for awhile longer?”
“And do what? Watch you exercise until I get tired and fall asleep?”
“You know, you could exercise some too… it might be fun. But no, I meant help me coax Stephanie out of her room with hot chocolate and a new puzzle.”
“It better not be sugar free hot chocolate again. It tastes nasty.”
“It tastes fine!”
“Only to brain-dead jock elves.”
“It only tastes bad to hopelessly sugar addicted people like you.”
“Then I shall be a happy addict for the rest of my days.”
Stephanie peeked out of her room to see both of them laughing, and she felt mildly better.

Sportacus left the ladder to the airship down. It was past his bed time, but he was willing to sacrifice some sleep time to figure this out. Robbie complained about climbing down the ladder, even though he was getting better at it.
Sportacus watched from under a tree in the park. Stephanie was securely asleep in bed, and Robbie was sitting next to him. If he didn’t expect this to be a severely disturbing talk, he would have said to forget it and just enjoyed the time alone with Robbie.
But he didn’t have that luxury.
“You’re not going to like it,” Robbie said after some minutes of silence. He shivered.
“Blanket,” Sportacus said, and caught a thick blanket that dropped from the air ship. He sat close to Robbie and wrapped it around both of them. Shared body heat and all. Robbie wouldn’t look at him.
“Don’t rush it,” Sportacus said. “You’ve got all night. Though I can’t promise I won’t fall asleep.” Robbie only nodded miserably and sighed.
“It… has to do with when she got kidnapped.”
Sportacus went silent and leaned against Robbie slightly, waiting for him to continue.
“Um…” Robbie kept going hesitantly. “You obviously don’t know a lot, about that kind of stuff, so… I’ll explain it, I guess.”
“Okay,” Sportacus offered. He heard and felt Robbie inhale deeply.
“They… picked her, because she looks cute. Really cute. And because she has that unique hair. She looked like the epitome of little girl-ness. It… that appeals to some people.”
Sportacus shuddered, but he didn’t say anything. Robbie was tense.
“So, she would think… ‘If I don’t look like a little girl, I’m safe. No one will want to take me away if I don’t look like that.’ That’s all. She thinks… if she looks more grown up, she won’t attract that kind of attention.”
“Ah,” Sportacus said, understanding. “I get it. That seems a bit reactionary though.” He felt Robbie shrug slightly.
“Maybe,” he replied. “But it feels better that way.”
Sportacus felt his heart speed up. Robbie was letting it slip. He tried to keep his voice calm.
“Really? I don’t understand that,” he said softly. Robbie sighed.
“You wouldn’t,” he replied. “You’ve never felt it.”
Sportacus didn’t say anything. But he felt for Robbie’s hand under the blanket and grabbed it gently. It was at that instant that Robbie realized just exactly what he had said.
Even in the dark, Sportacus could see the way his eyes dilated sharply in fear.
“I didn’t mean it like that!” he yelped, and started trembling. Sportacus held his hand tighter, his other arm wrapping around the man’s waist.
“It’s alright,” he said, trying to calm him down. “It’s alright Robbie!”
Robbie went straight into a panic attack.
Sportacus cursed and tried to get him to stop hyperventilating, rubbing the man’s back with one hand while the other held on tightly to Robbie’s. After a few minutes, his breathing evened out and the trembling was reduced to a small tremor.
“D-didn’t…” he started.
“Don’t talk,” Sportacus shushed him, but Robbie wasn’t hearing.
“T-that d-didn’t mean a-anything…”
“It’s alright. It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m n-not…”
“Shh. It’s fine.”
He was surprised when Robbie curled against him.
“I didn’t…” Robbie hiccupped. “I’m not…”
Sportacus swallowed tears and held the man while he was pulling pieces of himself together.
It was out now, and he couldn’t take it back. Robbie was a mess, and succumbing to exhaustion after the attack, falling asleep against Sportacus, while Sportacus was still trying to keep himself from falling apart too. Robbie had been right.
He didn’t like it at all.
He swallowed hard and leaned back against the tree. He didn’t want it to be true. He didn’t want to think about what it meant. He closed his eyes.
He remembered teasing Robbie about the waistcoat he wore all the time, how he looked like a little kid trying to dress in a more “grown up” style. It was true. Everything about Robbie had come across as a little kid trying to act as adult as possible. Sportacus thought it was an endearing trait, and endeavored to bring out more of the child in Robbie.
But he didn’t want to think that the child in Robbie was broken.
His chest heaved with a repressed sob, and the sleeping man’s head slid to rest in his lap instead.
“Robbie,” he choked out, looking down at him. He looked peaceful when he slept.
“I’m sorry Robbie.” He felt hot tears rolling down his face and he couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you. I’m so sorry…” He cried harder than he could ever remember crying. He tried to imagine how many times Robbie cried, all alone.
After a lengthy time, he slowly ran out of tears, and his muscles were cramping. It was getting colder, and he felt incredibly sleepy. He didn’t want to guess what time it was. He looked down at Robbie’s sleeping form again, noticing the thin man shiver in the cold, and he smiled weakly. He picked him up over one shoulder, and started climbing the ladder back into the air ship. Entering the ship, the door slid closed behind him, and he carried Robbie over to the bed and set him in it carefully. He automatically took the vest off of him and then took off his shoes.
He froze as he peeled off the sock.
The bottom of the man’s foot was littered with scars. Some deep, some just little pale lines, crisscrossing all over the surface of the skin. Sportacus shuddered and closed his eyes briefly, taking the other shoe off. He didn’t doubt it had something to do with… that… but it didn’t matter right now. He sighed, and set the vest and shoes to the side. He carefully crawled in next to Robbie, even though the bed was only built for one. Robbie was so thin that they could share, if they were against each other.
Sportacus pulled the duvet up over both of them and wrapped his arms around Robbie to ensure he didn’t fall out of the bed. He fell into a troubled sleep soon after.


He didn’t know where he was. It was a house somewhere, he was certain of that much, but it looked unfamiliar. He looked down at himself, and was strangely only mildly surprised to see he didn’t have his usual hero outfit on. He had on normal clothes, and he appeared to be pretty young. Eight years old maybe? It was hard to tell. He looked around.
A whimper brought his attention to a figure huddled under a bed. He crouched down and peered into the dark space.
“Hey,” he said, his voice light and high as it had been when he was young. “It’s alright. Come on out.” And slowly, a nervous child crawled out from under the bed. Sportacus regarded him carefully. He was stick-thin, and looked extremely vulnerable. No muscle mass to speak of, and rather feminine, for a boy. High cheekbones and long legs, even at such a young age. Tousled, curly black hair. He looked smaller and more vulnerable dressed in only a huge t-shirt and some baggy shorts. Large grey eyes regarded him suspiciously, but not without hope.
“Robbie?” he whispered.
“Did he get you too?” the young Robbie whispered back, his eyes wide. It threw Sportacus off.
“What… what do you mean?”
The boy in front of him aged suddenly, and the hope drained out of the eyes. He was looking at a ten year old now, and only now did Sportacus notice that there was blood on the floor. It was coming from the soles of Robbie’s feet.
“Wait!” Sportacus said, and he noticed the minor change in his voice. “Let me help!” and he reached out to touch them. Robbie drew away, curling up on himself.
“No,” he said dully. “You don’t understand. Look.”
And suddenly the room faded, and there was a mirror. Robbie and him both stared into it, and time morphed again. A tall dark lanky teenager in beat-up jeans too big for him and a stained shirt, bloody lip. Long black hair fell into his eyes.
Sportacus recognized the hollow look in them.
At the same time, he was aging as well. The adorable boy melted away, became a handsome young man, with dirty-gold hair and a frame that was filling in very well, with muscle in all the right places.
Time paused.
“Hey,” Robbie said suddenly, and Sportacus startled a little at the mixture of his young and old voice. “Do you think if we had met like this, you would have liked me, Sportacus?” He said this without looking up. “Do you think, if we met like this, you could have saved me?”
“I would’ve tried,” he responded truthfully.
He thought he saw a smile underneath the curtain of hair, before time reversed again and they were younger now, maybe five or six. But Robbie didn’t brighten.
“Do you think we could’ve been friends?” the child asked him. He nodded, a worn teddy bear in his arms. He held it out to the smaller child sitting on the floor.
“For you,” he said simply. Robbie looked up and took it carefully, hugging it to his chest.
“You can’t save me, you know,” he replied sadly. Sportacus smiled sadly at him and nodded.
“Yeah, I know,” he responded. “But that won’t stop me from trying.” He knelt in front of the child-Robbie, who looked up at him, confused. Sportacus put one small hand on each side of Robbie’s head, and kissed the boy’s forehead.
“I told you,” he said, releasing Robbie and leaning back. “I already told you that I love you Robbie Rotten. Why else would I give you my teddy?”
Robbie looked down at the soft stuffed animal in his arms, surprised. He grinned suddenly, the kind of grin where it stretches your face and you close your eyes, and he giggled, hugging the bear tighter.
“I love you too!” he said happily, and the giggling was contagious. Soon both of them were laughing happily.