Breaking The Cycle

April 10, 1535

Today is the day I have been waiting for. Today is the last day of my reign as Queen of England. I am to attend a private meeting with cardinal Capeigo and the King. I feel so much better than I had two weeks ago when I fainted and feel like a whole new woman. As I walked to the King's office I could not help but feel good about myself. I could barely mask my happiness. Once I neared the King's office I felt something inside me move. I stopped in my tracks, the tiny movement caught me off guard. So many things races through my mind. 

"Are you well my Lady?" Lady Jane asked. I looked to her and I nodded slowly. 

"Yes. I am well". I was unsure of myself. Why was I feeling that. The small movement felt strange but also felt familiar. I am going through the change, so it can not be what I thought. Perhaps my mother left a few things out when she told me about the change. I continue to walk slowly to Henry's office. As I walked in, Capeigio bowed low to me. His red linen shining when the sun hits it. Henry rose from his seat and bowed deeply.   

"Your Majesty". Capeigio said. I nodded and soon the meeting started. Henry and I sat at each end of the table while Capeigio sat in the middle. We each told him of the reason for divorce. I spoke clearly in my thick Spanish accent. I truthfully told Capeigio of how Henry flaunted his mistresses in front me and his lack of trust. He was shocked to learn that it was I who asked for the divorce. Although Henry had it in his mind that kings are well within their right to have mistresses. He acts as if adultury was not a sin.   

"Is there any other reasons leading up to the divorce your majesties would like to discuss?" he said. I immediately tensed, I felt his eyes on me. I could not bring myself to tell him what Henry did to me. I could not explain to the cardinal about how Henry abused me. I was infact ashamed that I allowed it to happen. If anyone had knowledge of the daughter of Spain being battered by her English king and husband, my nephew and sister would have a field day capsizing England. I could not risk that getting out.   

King Henry

I watched Katherine. Her appereance was different and her face is glowing. She looked uneasy at Capeigio's last question. Casting her eyes down, I knew she may be contemplating telling him I raped her. If that ever got out, no one would respect me. If the emperor found out he would wage war against me. That, I could not allow. 

"No, there is no more. Her Majesty and myself have grown apart, and is ready to persue different lives". I lied. Eventhough it is a lie, I can't have anyone knowing what I had done. Katherine could not even look at me. She kept her eyes trained on the ground. 

"Your Majesties, as of today your divorce is finalized. Today the 10th day of April in the year of 1535, I pronounce this union terminated on the grounds of infidelities with in the marriage." he said. I was not sure if I wanted that on record. He turned his attention to Katherine. 

"Your Majesty, as of this day you here by must step down as Queen of England. You shall return all jewelry and crowns that identify you as Queen of England. You shall recieve your former tittles as Princess Dowerger of Whales and Princess Catalina of Spain and the Holy Roman Princess. Do you understand these terms and conditions". Capeigio said. If I did not know any better, I saw a small trace of a smile. Why would she smile, she thinks I did not catch it but I did. Today she went from Queen of England to Princess Dowerger, Princess of Spain and Princess of the Holy Roman Empire. She is now the most powerful princess in Europe. Katherine has more power than myself, if she knows what is good for her she had better not let her tittle go to he head.    

"I understand". She said. Capeigio nodded. 

"Now, about the Princess Mary. She shall remain a Princess and heiress to the throne". Capeigio stated. That caught my attention. 

"Princess Mary will be taken out of the line of succession". I said. I love my daughter but I need a boy to continue my line.  

"No! She is our first child and by birth right, she is heiress to the throne". Katherine said. I really did not want to exclude my pearl, so through negociation we came to a dicision. 

"Mary will be placed above any female issue Anne gives me, and second to any male issue". I said. We all agreed. Then out the corner of my eye, I saw her tense. Then she took a deep breath. 

"Are you well?" I asked. She looked at me and nodded slowly. 

Catalina

My God, I felt it again. Something moved in my belly.

"Are you well?" Henry said. I nodded slowly. My face was emotionless. 

"My Lady" Capeigio said taking me from my thoughts. What Henry said about Mary being second to his and Anne's sons took me off guard. My nephew the emperor said that upon our divorce he will still marry Mary once she is 15. My daughter will still be heiress to England. That is what counts. I truely do not care if Anne gives Henry a son, as long as I am away from his harmful ways. 

"I accept". I said. As I stood with both Henry and the cardinal. 

"Then everything is settled". Capeigio said. After the meeting I went to Lady Jane's apartment. She had everything stripped from it. Servants have been in and out all day. The apartment look the same way she bought it. Fortunately she has offered to have me settled in her home in Brookfield. I accepted her offer. The King my now former husband has allowed me to see Mary when ever I choose. I am very grateful for that. I had my own servants pack up my things and move them to Brookfield. I dressed in black for my departure. Lady Jane has arranged a large three pair horse carriage to escort us to Brookfield. When I exited what used to be my home Thomas More helped me in the carriage. 

"May you live a long and prosperous life". He said as he kissed my hand. 

"And I pray that you shall live well also. You have been such a good friend. May God bless you everyday he wakes you". I said. The crowds is massive. They all bid me wonderful goodbyes. As the carriage rode off, I can hear them saying "God bless the Queen". Crowds lined the streets for 9 miles. 

"Lady Jane thank you for your generosity. You are such a wonderful person". I said to her. She smiled at me and took my hand. 
"Thank you your highness. You youself are a wonderful person also, and now that I am no longer your Lady in waiting, please, call me Jane". She said I smiled, "And you may call me Catalina". She smiled and gave my hand a gentle squeeze. As the carriage moved on through the countryside, I began to think. Those movements in my belly has not left my mind. I began piecing together the events that happened over the last couple months. A month after I was raped my bleedings mysteriously vanished. Now, a month later I feel tiny movements in the pit of my belly. Can it be. Could I be...carrying Henry's child. Perhaps I am just imagining things. I can not possibly be with child. Escpecially a child conceived of rape. But only to be sure I must consult a physician. I turn to Jane. 

"Jane, may I ask you for a favor?" I asked. She turn her attention to me and nodded. 

"Ofcourse." 

"I may need a physician once we arrive at Brookfield." she looked puzzled. 

"Are you ill?" she asks with concern on her face. I gave her a small smile.  

"I am not ill Jane, I only need to confirm something I have been feeling a while." 

"Ofcourse, I shall summons a physician as soon as we arrive." she said. The carriage ride continued in silence until we arrived at the Brookfield wall, a short while afterwards we arrived at Perseon Mannor. After we entered the mannor, Alejo greeted us. 

"My Lady, I am happy that you are here." he said smiling and he bowed low. 

"Thank you Alejo, but I am now here to stay." I said with a lite smile. His eyes widen a bit and we talked all that afternoon. He and Jane showed me my new chambers. When I seen my new chambers I was awwed at how luxurious and regal it is. Marble floors, a big beautiful bathchamber, a very large bed, silk royal purple bed linenings and a silk bed curtains with beautiful embroidery. The furniture is very comfortable, the soft sofas and chairs all fitted my needs. All was mine. These rooms are so much more beautiful than my former chambers. I instantly fell in love with my surroundings. After the maids unpacked all of my belongings, Alejo came and we talked for a long while. He told me of how everything will be well and that I was safe now. I was settled in and thanked God the ordeal with Henry is finally over. I can start a new life independantly on my own. Henry will not be there to hurt me anymore, I no longer have to fear for myself anymore. I was taking in the scene of the beauty of Brookfield through the large bay windows in my room. Jane came in and informed me of the arrival of the  physician. I had changed into a comfortable chemise. Once he entered, he introduced himself and bowed deeply and begun his examination. He asked me about all the symtoms, and asked when I last laid with a man. I hesitated at that question. The last time I had been with a man, I was being raped.   

"I last had...intercourse in Febuary of this year." I said. Not wanting to bring up the rape. 

"Well, princess. Your symtoms are consistant with pregnancy and I believe you concieved in Febuary." he confirmed my worst fears. 

"And...what of the child?" I asked. My hands shook, and I suddenly became afraid. 

"Your highness, all is well. You and the child are healthy. Although I urge you to eat healthy and perform lite excercizes. You will give birth in about seven months. I shall examine you every month until then and guide you through delivery". He said as he finished with me. 

"Thank you Dr. Carlos." I said in a low tone. He smiled and exited quietly. Once he was gone, I let my tear flow. I protectively wrapped my arms around my stomach and closed my eyes. 

"Te amo mi dulce niña" (I love you my sweet child) I say in a whisper. I stayed in my chambers all that afternoon. At sunset I went to the large bay windows and watched the sun slowly sink into the horizon. A soft knock took me from my gaze, "Enter." I said and Jane came and stood by my side. 

"Catalina, I hope that you recieved good news". She said. I turned to her. Worry plagued her features as I revealed my bloodshot eyes.  

"Oh Catalina, please come sit." she said as she guided me to my bed. 

"Jane". I sobbed in a whisper. "He will never leave me." I sobbed. Warm tears spilled unto my face.  

"Who, who will never leave you?" she said as she took my hands. 

"Henry". I managed to get out. Her eyes softened. 

"Catalina, you need not to worry. You are free from him now.  He can no longer hurt you." she said. 

"Jane, that night when you heard..." I said and could not finish my sentence. I wiped my tears with my hands. Jane handed me a thin piece of cloth. 

"Jane, I am carrying Henry's child". I said as I got myself together. She gasped. 

"Oh Catalina." was all she said. She hugged me and held me in a tight embrace. 

"I thought I could get on with my life and leave the past behind me. Now it seems that everytime I think something good will happen to me, it gets thrown back in my face. Who would want me. I am pregnant with a child that was concieved from violence and pain." I said. I felt so alone and abandoned. 

"My Lady, the child you carry was indeed concieved from violence, but I beg you, do not let how it was made cause you to turn your heart agaist it." she said sincerely. She was right. I can not blame the child for the way it was concieved. I would set a bad example as a mother if that happens. 

"You are right Jane. I can not treat this child badly. It would be wrong of me to do so." I said. 
"But what am I going to do, no one would want me. No one wants a woman pregnant with another mans' child. I have seen enough of that at court." I explained. She caressed my head and patted my back. 

"Catalina, blessings come in diguise. A man shall make himself known to you when it is your time. Trust me, faith is a wonderful thing to have. Especially in times such as these." she said. I did feel better when she said that.

"You have recieved a blessing from God." 

"I have Jane. But the way I recieved it has greatly affected me." I said not really knowing what to do. 

"I understand the King has hurt you, but life with out hardship is not worth it's reward. Once you look into your childs' eyes the hardship will be worth it." she said as she wiped away my tears with her thumb. 

"Perhaps you are right Jane. Dr. Carlos says with healthy eating and lite excercize I shall have a healthy delivery and a healthy child." I said. Jane smiled and nodded. 

"That is good, I am happy for you." 

"I thought I was going through the change but I found out today I am two months pregnant." Jane arched her brows. 

"Catalina, you are only 38, and you are too young to be going through the change. Women go through it around age 50." 

"Then I have a while". I said. Twelve years to be exact.  

"Why don't you come down and have dinner with us. Alejo is very fond of you."

"I have no intention on burdening him with my child. I have only been divorce for a few hours."

"Not every man is alike. Alejo values what is in the heart and not what a woman can bring forth." I thought about it as I slipped on my silk robe. 

"Perhaps." I said. We went down stairs and had dinner. Alejo told jokes and stories of his days at sea. Later that night he walked me to my rooms and kissed me on my cheek. That brought warmness inside me. Maybe he does see what's on the inside.   

3 Months Later...

It is now July 12. I am five months pregnant. Alejo and I had gotten very close. He is so sweet and kind to me. He rubs my belly and goes out of his way to get the food I crave. He sometimes sneaks kisses to me when no one is looking. Today he and I are out to see the cherry blossoms bloom. 

"The blossoms are so wonderful, they make me feel so lite inside." I said as Alejo guided me through a valley filled with cherry blossom bushes. Many people came to observe, especially children. What I loved the most is that hardly no one knew who I was. I feel so comfortable here, I can be myself. As Alejo took me under one of the trees I felt the baby kick. I stopped in my tracks and put my hands on my stomach. 

"What is it Catalina" Alejo asked me concerned. 

"The child has just moved" I said with a small smile on my face. 

"That is wonderful, it's strong." he said as he touched my belly. 

"It has been so long since I felt a child's kick." I said as my hand fell on top of his. Alejo had a sudden serious look on his face.

"Catalina, your child will arrive here very soon." he said as he took my hands in his. 

"In four months it will arrive, I shall be a wonderful mother. As my mother was to my siblings and I, and as I am to Mary." I said to him. 

"I know you can. You will be like no other, but, every child needs a father." he said my eyes widen in realization. Henry had not cross my mind once since after I found out I was pregnant. 

"Catalina, when I looked upon you I could not help but notice how lovely and beautiful you are. You are intelligent, sweet, and a good woman. You deserve to be loved and cherrished all your life. I wish to be the one to cradle your child as my own.  I want to love you, and become a family with you and the child." he said as he gave my hands a gentle squeeze. I gasped. 

"I love you Catalina and I want to adopt the child as my own." he looked deep in my eyes. A lone tear rolled it's way down my cheek. 

"You desire me, even when I am carrying another mans' child?" 

"Yes, it may not be my seed but I want to raise it as my own. I want to marry you and be your husband for the rest of my life." I was speechless, I could not believe it. I was still desireable. Before I knew it Alejo came close to me and kissed me right near the cherry blossom bush. The kiss was so passionate and lovely. I put my arms around Alejo and continued in the pleasure in kissing him. The kiss eventually ended and I could not help but be a little embarred. I smiled at Alejo and he place his hands on my belly and smiled. 

"Is that a yes?" I laughed quietly. 

"Yes." later we walked around the cherry blossom bushes and picked cherries. After, we went to the carriage and left for home. 

Anthony Knivert

I could not believe what I was seeing. The Queen of Hearts is with child and kissing another man. It's a good thing my cousin invited me to the cherry blossom festival. She looks so happy, and she is very pregnant. My God, could the child she carries is for Harry or that other man. If the child is for Harry than she carries a prince or princess. Does he even know? If he did he would not have divorced her. She looks so happy with that man. So much more happier than I ever seen her with Harry. Everyone knows he hit her, and I would not be surprised if she was the one who asked for the divorce. He really loved her in the begining of their marriage and towards the end, we noticed the Queen's arkward behavior. She would limp and I myself saw a Lady of hers help her to her chambers. Honestly, I fault Harry for hurting her. Now she is free, and most likely pregnant with his child. If the child is a prince, he does not deserve to know. She deserves to be happy. Maybe I should just let her be. Perhaps. 

Jane

Tomorrow everyone will go out and celebrate the cherry blossom festival. Alejo and Catalina went to pick cherries earlier. They have been getting close, I even saw him kiss her once. He makes her so happy, I can see it on her face. She looks younger also. All the worry in her face is gone and replaced with happiness. It was nearing sunset and Alejo and Catalina are just comming inside with a basket full of sweet cherries. 

"Jane, there you are. Catalina and I have news to share with you." Alejo says with a big grin on his face. I noticed he and Catalina held hands. 

"Come, let's us sit in the go into the comfort room. There we will tell you." he said. I followed them and we sat down. 

"You two are back late." I said starting the conversation. They looked at each other and quietly laughed. 

"Jane, as you know, I have feelings for Catalina." I nodded. "Today, I told her how I felt and she and I have decided to get married." Alejo said and he kissed her. I lite up, Catalina is finally getting her life together. Now she will get married to a man that has more honor than the king.  

"I am so happy for you." I said as I stood from my seat and hugged them both. 

"Jane, you have made my life so very comfortable. Until I met Alejo, I thought that I would never be loved. You have brought us together. Now I will marry and be happy." she said as she took my hands. 

"I must admit, I see the passion between you. I just know you will make each other happy." I said.

During the next couple weeks we planned a lavish but small wedding. 

August 22, 1535

Catalina rose early this moring. Her maids came in and bathed her in white and red rose pedals. Scented bath oils and vanilla bath salts were spinkled in the luxurious marble tub. They were careful around her round belly. Once she was finished bathing the maids carefully helped her out of the big bath and wrapped her in a big soft warm towel. She sat at her vanity and rubbed vanilla scented lotion on her skin. She was shown a variety of robes and she picked out and slipped on a silk lavender robe. One that was big enough to wrap around her sixth month belly. While she sat at her vanity a servant styled her hair up while two perfected her nails. After her hair and makeup was complete, her maids placed a beautiful white gown on her with a seven foot jeweled studded train. Her gown is designed with golden embroidery. She wore diamond earings and a diamond studded necklace. Soon she was ready for her wedding. 

King Henry

It has been two months since Anne and I were married. Anne is already five months pregnant with my son. A month ago we visited an astrologer, and he has confirmed it. My wife is carrying a son. My son is on his way. My son will be born in December and Mary will leave for Spain in less than two years. She reminds me so much of Katherine. She has her smile and her stubbornness. I have not spoken or heard from Katherine since our divorce. It is rumored that she is living with Lady SiVad in Brookfield. I must admit, I am a little jealous. Katherine is living much better than Anne and I. Perhaps once Anne gives me my son I will visit her. Maybe I will bring Mary also. My daughter will be so happy to see her mother again. She is visiting from Hatfield today. I have not seen her in months. I am actually looking forward to seeing how she have grown.


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