The Past Returns

Disclaimer: I don't own High Mountain Rangers, not making any money, just cheap thrills.

Warnings: Angst, Disturbing Themes, OOC

Rating: FRT

The Past Returns
Chapter 13


Robin sat in the hospital room, her attention split between Matt and Cody. She shivered as she remembered the scene outside, when hospital personnel had swarmed the chopper, quickly taking Matt and Jesse inside. As long as she lived, she didn't think she would ever forget the cry of anguish coming from Cody as his family was whisked away from him. It had taken both her and Frank to calm him down. Unfortunately it was a calm that didn't last long. Guiding him into the hospital, Robin had stayed with him while Frank arranged for Cody to be checked for any injuries, as well as treated for the shock he was obviously experiencing. Robin had accompanied the young boy into the exam room, in spite of the nurse's attempts to make her leave.

It was a good thing she had stayed, Robin mused as she once more checked on the youngest of the Hawkes. Cody had taken them all by surprise when the doctor began his examination. The man had barely touched Cody's wrist when the boy had erupted, fighting him as though he were in the hands of the devil himself. Robin had immediately stepped forward, speaking gently to Cody but she was only able to calm him a bit. It wasn't nearly enough and though she could tell the doctor hated to do it, he nevertheless ordered Cody sedated so he could treat him. Thankfully Cody had suffered nothing more than a couple of bruises on his face and slightly bruised testicles. Robin shuddered again as she considered how much worse the situation could have been. A moan from Cody brought her out of her memories and to her feet.

“Cody?”

Cody fought to find his way through the haze he found himself in. A soft voice called his name, a familiar voice...Robin. Slowly he forced his eyes open, confirming that it was in fact Robin he had heard. “Hospital?” he asked, confused.

“That's right,” Robin replied.

“Why...oh God!” he cried out as the memories slammed into him with the power of a runaway train. “Dad! Matt!”

Robin grabbed his shoulders, pushing him back against the pillow as he tried to get up. “Hold on Cody, they're fine...they're fine.”

Her words finally penetrating through his panic, Cody stared up at her as if trying to read the truth in her eyes. “Really?”

“Really, Matt's right next to you,” she softly informed him.

Turning his head in the direction she indicated, relief flooded through him. “What's wrong with him?”

“Slight concussion, the doctor isn't really worried but he thought it would be best to keep him overnight for observation.”

“Dad?” he nervously asked.

“He'll be fine too. The bullet was a through and through, so all the doctor had to do was repair the damage done by it and stitch him up. Luckily it doesn't seem to have done much, though the doctor said he may need a small amount of physical therapy later. He'll just have to see how well he heals.”

“You're sure he's okay?”

“I'm sure,” Robin confirmed. “He's already resting in his own room and mad as a hornet that they wouldn't put him in here with you and Matt.”

“That sounds like him,” Cody smiled. “Why wouldn't they put him in here?”

“He had to have surgery, they're pretty adamant about surgery patients being in the post-op ward. The doctor said they'll be releasing him in the morning too.” Robin smiled as Cody finally relaxed under her hands.

“Where's...” Cody trailed off, not sure what he should call him.

“Roy?” Robin asked, getting a nod in reply. “He's in jail. Jim and Hart stayed with him until McBride arrived to transport him to jail. They checked with him as soon as they got back to town, made sure that Roy is locked up. Then the two of them came by here to let me know and check on all of you.”

Cody blushed, looking away as he remembered the position he'd been in when Jim burst into the cabin.

The door opened just as Robin opened her mouth to reassure him that he had nothing to be ashamed of. Turning to the door, she was shocked to see who the visitor was. She watched her uncertainly, trying to decide what to do, as Jackie made her way to Matt's bedside.

“Oh Matt,” Jackie whispered, reaching out to brush his blond hair back from his forehead. “I'm so sorry,” she continued with tears in her eyes. Glancing at Robin, she shivered at the cold look coming from the younger woman. “Is he going to be okay?”

“They're both going to be fine,” Robin pointedly replied, casting a sidelong glance at Cody.

Jackie blushed, embarrassed and angry at the obvious rebuke. She knew she had messed up, but it wasn't the place of one of Matt's rangers to take her to task over any part of it. Hesitantly she stepped away from her oldest' bed and towards the one in which her youngest rested. “Cody I...”

“I'm sorry,” Cody quickly cut her off.

Jackie tilted her head to the side, puzzled by the apology. Sighing, she wished he would look at her, it would make this easier. No sooner had the thought entered her mind when Cody turned his head towards her. The raw anguish she saw reflected in the blue depths brought a gasp from her, making her wonder if it would be easier after all if he went back to looking away. “What do you mean you're sorry?” she carefully asked.

“Whatever I did that made you hate me,” came the whispered reply.

Jackie felt her heart breaking, “I don't hate you Cody.”

“Then why didn't you protect me from him? Why didn't you send him to jail all those years ago?” Cody demanded. All of these years he'd wondered, tried to understand what he'd done wrong. His uncle had always insisted that he was the reason his parent's had broken up and he had thought maybe that was why she did it. He'd never known for sure though and now, more than ever before, he needed to understand what he had done wrong.

“I did protect you Cody,” Jackie insisted. “That's why I sent you back to your dad and never had you stay with me unless Matt was home.” She had thought Cody, with the love he felt for his own older brother, would understand why she couldn't send Roy to jail. “I couldn't send him to jail Cody, he's my brother. You can understand that, can't you?”

“I understand,” Cody whispered.

“I knew...”

“I understand,” he interrupted her, “that you chose to send me away instead of him. I understand that you chose him over me.”

Jackie blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. “That's not fair Cody,” she protested. “I love you both, how was I supposed to choose between you? I did my best to protect you both.”

Cody glared at her, his eyes filled with disbelief. “I was just a little kid, your little boy. You were supposed to protect me! That...he could take care of himself, I couldn't,” he growled. “You want to talk about fair? You call it fair that when I came to you and told you he was beating me you called me a liar and spanked me for it? You think it was fair that after he...started coming to my room at night you sent me away instead of him? You think it's fair that you told him I was remembering what he did? What did you think he'd do if you told him that? You think it's fair that you drew him a map and told him how to find me? You think it's fair that Dad and Matt both got hurt trying to protect me from your brother?”

Jackie stared at him, shocked by the bitter anger she heard in his voice. Recovering somewhat from the unexpected attack, she finally found her voice. “I...he said he just wanted to talk to you. He's got a good life in San Francisco Cody, he didn't want to have to pay for a mistake from years ago.”

“I can't believe you bought that,” Robin scoffed.

“Excuse me,” Jackie coldly responded, shooting a glare her way. “This is none of your business.”

“Maybe not, but Cody is my friend, somebody has to protect him,” Robin returned with equal coldness.

“You little...”

“Mom,” Cody interrupted before she could start a fight with Robin. “I don't think you knew exactly what he planned to do, but you had to have at least suspected that he didn't just want to talk to me.”

“He's my brother Cody, I had to give him the benefit of the doubt.” Though she didn't ask again, her eyes plead for his understanding.

Cody couldn't believe that she was still trying to gain his sympathy. Sadly, he knew he shouldn't be surprised by it or hurt, but he still was. “What about me? Did you even think about what he might do to me? Even if he was telling you the truth, did you bother to consider how I might have felt about it?”

“What would you have done Cody?” Jackie whined.

“I would've called the sheriff and had him arrested the minute he touched my son,” Cody coldly replied.

“Really?” Jackie scoffed. “If Matt, the brother you love more than life itself, does something to one of your kids someday you'll have him arrested?”

“You're right Mom, I won't have him arrested.”

“I knew it, you do und...”

“I'll kill him,” Cody growled.

“Not that he'd ever have to,” Matt spoke up.

“Matthew,” Jackie smiled, turning to face her oldest son. She couldn't hide the relief she felt at his interruption. “How are you feeling honey?”

“Like I want to kill anybody who hurts my brother,” he coldly replied. He knew it was petty, but a part of him enjoyed the flinch his words caused. The hand she'd extended towards his hair suddenly jerking away as though she'd nearly touched a hot stove. “I think you better leave Jackie.”

Quietly she whimpered at the sound of her name rather than Mom coming from his mouth. “I didn't know he was going...”

“Oh I'm sure you didn't, that's the only thing saving your life right now.”

Jackie swallowed hard, the venom in his voice catching her off guard. Stumbling back, as if from a physical blow, she stared at him in hurt surprise. “Matt please....”

Matt glared at her. He was nearly as angry with her as he was with Roy. How could she even think he would be sympathetic to her, that either of them would be sympathetic? “Get out.”

“You don't mean that,” she protested.

Cody lay on the other side of the room, listening with growing pain to their conversation. “Matt, you don't have to do that.”

“I don't want anything to do with her, not after what she's done.”

“You shouldn't lose your mom cause of me,” Cody argued.

“It's not because of you little brother,” Matt gently countered. “It's her own fault, nobody else's,” he added, turning back to her, the soft expression he'd used with Cody turning quickly to a glare.

Swallowing painfully, Jackie backed towards the door, stumbling from the room. In the hall she stood leaned against the wall, remembering how her day had been spent before coming to the hospital. She'd been listening to one of the radios Matt had left at her place. The moment the call had gone out for an emergency airlift at Jesse's cabin, she had known she'd messed up worse than she'd ever done before. Praying fervently, she had listened with trepidation as Frank relayed information to the hospital during the flight. Her heart had nearly stopped when he said Matt was unconscious and Jesse had been shot. It wasn't until she reached the hospital that she learned Cody too had been admitted. That news had only added to her feelings of guilt, though she was sure none of them would believe her.

“Jackie,” Mike McBride called to the blonde he saw down the hall.

Hearing her name, Jackie turned. “Mike,” she greeted him uncertainly.

“Have you seen the boys?” he asked, giving no indication of his true reason in approaching her.

Jackie nodded, swiping at the tears that were beginning to fall.

“Are they okay?”

“Yeah, Matt has a concussion but he'll be okay.”

Mike frowned, noticing there had been no mention of Cody. “What about Cody?”

“I'm not sure why he's been admitted, but he seems fine, considering.” Ashamed of herself for not asking, she glanced away from the middle-aged sheriff, suddenly unable to meet his eyes.

“I see,” Mike mumbled. Taking her by the arm, he gently began to guide her away from the room. “I need to speak to you,” he explained as she automatically let him lead her.

She understood why he was getting her away from Cody and Matt's room now, undoubtedly he needed to speak to her about her brother. Not wanting the boys to overhear their conversation, he was leading her away so they could talk. As they came to a small alcove, filled with chairs, several yards from the room, Jackie came to a halt. “Is my brother okay?”

“Is your...” Mike bit off the question. Even after all of his years in law enforcement, some of them in Vegas, he was surprised by her question. How could she be so obviously concerned for her brother and yet not even ask why her youngest was in the hospital? “Your brother is fine,” he ground out between clenched teeth.

“Then what did you need to speak to me about?”

Mike glanced up the hall, quickly coming to the conclusion that they were far enough from the room. “Jackie Kern Hawkes, you're under arrest,” he coldly informed her as he spun her around, cuffing her hands behind her.

“What? I don't understand. Why are you arresting me?” Shock kept Jackie from struggling against the restraints, but not from questioning the sheriff.

“You're being charged with accessory before the fact in the attempted murder of Jesse Hawkes, the attempted rape of Cody Hawkes, and the attempted kidnapping of Cody Hawkes.”

Jackie's eyes widened in shock, rape, murder; no her brother couldn't have done what he said. Snapping out of her shock, she protested, “You can't arrest me! I didn't have anything to do with what happened to them.”

Mike ignored her, not bothering to explain that when she gave her brother, a wanted fugitive, directions to the home of his victim she sealed her own fate. “You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney and to have an attorney present during questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you. Do you understand these rights as I've read them to you?”

“Yes,” Jackie hissed angrily. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. Well Mike would be sorry, her father would see to that. How dare he arrest her and charge her with those things! Well she was entitled to one phone call, and she knew exactly who she would call. Jackie seethed with anger as she was unceremoniously escorted from the hospital accompanied by the whispered voices and shocked stares from those they passed.


The moment his mom was out of the room, Cody rolled to his side, curling in on himself.

Exchanging a concerned glance with Matt, Robin cautiously approached the teenager. Gently she laid a hand on his back. Feeling tremors coming from him, she silently cursed Jackie Hawkes. “Cody, are you okay?”

“I want my dad,” Cody nearly sobbed.

“Cody your dad can't be here right now,” Robin reminded him. “I know I'm a poor substitute but I'll help if you'll let me.” A sound from behind her had her spinning on her heel. “Matthew Hawkes you get back in that bed,” she ordered. Knowing he'd ignore her, she quickly stepped to his bedside, blocking him from climbing out of the bed. “You won't help him if you fall on your face.”

Matt conceded that she was right, but there was nothing short of death that would keep him from helping his little brother. “Then I guess you better keep me on my feet,” he responded as he gently moved her aside and swung his legs around, planting his feet on the floor.

“Men,” Robin groused, though in truth she admired his determination to take care of his brother. Stepping under his shoulder, she wrapped her arm around his waist, steadying him as he moved to his brother's bed.

Without a word, Matt climbed into the bed behind Cody and wrapped his arms around him. “Shhh, it's me,” he soothed as the younger boy unconsciously flinched.

“Mmmatt?”

“I'm here,” he softly replied.

“I want Dad,” Cody repeated his earlier request, this time unable to hold back the sob.

“I know Toad, but he needs to rest too. Will I do until he can be here?”

Wanting to give them privacy, Robin touched Matt's shoulder, tilting her head towards the door in answer to his questioning look. Seeing he understood, she stepped out of the room. Standing guard outside the door, she settled in to help the only way she could, by assuring they wouldn't be disturbed.

Cody nodded, grateful that his brother would still want to help him after all the trouble he'd caused. “Why does she hate me Matt? What did I do wrong?”

“You didn't do anything wrong Cody, I promise you didn't.”

Cody noticed Matt didn't try to tell him that their mother didn't hate him, confirming with his silence that she did in fact hate him. “Mothers don't,” he sobbed, “let people hurt their kids, not if they love them. She let him hurt me Matt, she knew what he did and she told him where I was, drew him a map. I've tried and tried to figure out what I did wrong but I can't remember what I did. Please help me Matt. Help me understand,” he brokenly plead with his older brother.

Matt tightened his hold on his little brother, silently cursing the woman who had given them life. The same woman who, with help from her own brother, had nearly destroyed her youngest child. “You aren't to blame Cody, I swear it. Have I ever lied to you?”

“No,” Cody whispered.

“Then you can believe me now when I tell you the only ones to blame are Mom and Uncle Roy. You're an innocent victim little brother, you did nothing to deserve what that bastard did to you. You did nothing to make Jackie turn her back on you when you needed her the most. That is her failing, not your's,” he vehemently insisted. As Cody broke down, sobbing in his arms, Matt began a gentle rocking motion as he softly soothed his brother with a quiet song. “Hush little cowboy, no reason to cry, your brother will sing you a sweet lullaby. Go to sleep cowboy, no reason to fear, cause all through the night I'll be here. I'll round up the moon for your pillow, a blanket of stars for your bed. I'll round up a dream of tomorrow, to ride toward the good times ahead. The coyote's singing this day to an end. A rocking horse trail waits around the next bend. So go to sleep cowboy, your brother is here and all through the night I'll be here. Loving you, holding you, ever so dear and all through the night I'll be here. Yes, all through the night I'll be here.” Matt smiled down at his now sleeping brother. He only wished he could so easily solve all of the problems his brother was facing.

TBC

Hope y'all enjoyed the chapter. Please feed the muse with reviews.

A/N: The song Matt sings to Cody is called Cowboy Lullaby. John Schneider sang it in an episode of Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman.