One Step at a Time

A/N: Ain’t procrastination grand? Think I could turn this in instead of my research paper? Yeah, me neither. This particular chapter is dedicated to Electra in appreciation of her consistently enthusiastic feedback. Thank you, darlin’! Love, D

Chapter 13


Greg pressed his face deeper into the warmth, the lap he was resting on shifting uncomfortably as a result of his movements. He didn’t know which one of his lovers he’d been using as a pillow, but he could guess it was probably Warrick. Jack had lovely legs, but they were long, slender, the legs of a man who occasionally walked his dog but didn’t spend a significant amount of energy trying to develop them. Warrick, on the other hand, spent time in the gym, so his legs were stronger and thicker than Jack’s. Greg himself had always been a personal fan of Warrick’s thighs, and from the feel of the thighs beneath his head, he assumed his pillow had to be Warrick.

Biting back a smile, he nudged his head a little closer, causing another shift and the cough of someone clearing their throat.

“Um. . . Greg?”

He froze. That wasn’t Warrick’s voice. Wasn’t Jack’s voice, either. Sounded like. . . Nick?

Greg gasped and rolled off the lap to land painfully on the floor.

“Morning Greggo,” Nick said with a shit-eating grin. “Sleep well?”

“Nick, I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it was you! I thought it was, that it was. . . um. . .” Confused about why he’d been sleeping on Nick’s lap and not Warrick’s or Jack’s, Greg looked around to try and get his bearings, and it hit him. Everything that had happened in the past twenty-four hours leading up to him falling asleep on Nick’s lap reached up and smacked him in the face. Seeing the sudden pain in his eyes, the Texan’s smile immediately vanished as he slid onto the floor next to Greg.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it, and Jack. . . they haven’t said anything else, so you’re okay.”

“Nothing?” Greg asked, and Nick smiled, shaking his head.

“Not a word.”

“And that’s good, right?”

“Far as I know. You know what they say--no news is good news.”

“What a bunch of bullshit,” he sighed, rubbing his eyes with his palms. “How long was I asleep?”

“Just a couple hours.”

“And Warrick?”

Nick’s eyes darkened. “He called in. Haven’t seen him.”

“Oh,” Greg said, trying not to look too disappointed as he stood up and sat back on the cushioned bench, Nick joining him.

“But there’s a bunch of people in the waiting room downstairs wanting to see you. Grissom’s there--Sara and Cath had to go to a scene, but they promised to be back. A lot of Jack’s friends are there--Gris has the conductor of the symphony cornered, and other musicians too, some from the orchestra, some who were at the club. You want to go see them?”

Greg thought about it for a moment, then shook his head. He wasn’t in the mood to face all the questions or the looks of pity. He just wanted to stay in the quiet hall with Nicky.

“That’s all right, you don’t have to see them. I’m just gonna run down, let Grissom know you’re okay, and tell the others there’s been no news.”

“And then you’ll come back?”

“You know it.”

Greg offered him the only smile he could muster, hating to sound so pathetic in front of Nick but really not wanting to be alone right now. Sighing, he slumped down on the bench and let his mind wander, wondering what was happening with Jack, wondering what was happening with Warrick. How could he abandon them like this? They needed him here--damnit, he needed Warrick here. He was the only one who could truly understand what he was feeling.

And as if summoned by magic, a weight settled on the bench next to him.

“Hey.”

Greg stared straight ahead, refusing to look at him. “I don’t know whether to hug you or hit you right now.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.”

“Greg. . .” Warrick began, then sighed, shaking his head. “How is he?”

“I don’t know. They won’t tell me anything.”

“Have you asked?”

At that, Greg turned his head to give him the most withering look he could summon, and Warrick winced.

“Sorry.”

“You should be.”

“I am, about everything. Look, Greg, I freaked. I don’t have any other explanation for it. I saw Jack and my mind just spiraled out of control. I felt like I was in some sort of nightmare--”

“That’s because you are,” he snapped. “We both are. Jack’s been shot. He’s hurt, he’s unconscious, he may not--” Greg choked on the word, unable to say it, and he quickly moved on. “It’s a fucking nightmare and you’re not the only one trapped in it, you selfish son of a bitch. I fucking needed you and you were nowhere to be found!”

“I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“Yeah, well, that would have been nice before, but what if I don’t want you here?”

Warrick’s eyes grew wide. “Greg--” he started, but the anger that had been building ever since Greg had first seen Jack was too great. He jumped up and grabbed Warrick by his shirt, forcing him to his feet and shoving him down the hall.

“Get out of here, ‘Rick!”

“Greg--”

He placed his hands on Warrick’s chest and shoved him again. “I said get out! Leave!”

“No.”

“GO!”

“I’m not leaving you!”

“You already did,” Greg snarled, giving him a final push before turning away.

“Greg--”

“You heard the man.” They both turned, surprised to see Nick watching them with a dark look on his face. “He wants you to go.”

“Nick,” Warrick said, glaring at his friend, “this doesn’t involve you.”

“The hell it doesn’t. I’m the one who’s been here, not you. That makes me involved, and if Greg doesn’t want you here, you need to leave.”

“I’m more involved than you’ll ever be,” Warrick spat through clenched teeth. “You do not tell me what to do.”

“I am. You can either leave on your own, or I’ll make you leave.”

Feeling a little awed by his friend’s sudden protectiveness, Greg walked over to Nick, placing a hand on his arm. “Nick, it’s all right. I’ll take care of this.”

“No. He shouldn’t be here.”

“Yes, he should,” Greg said, giving Warrick a sad look, “he just doesn’t know it.”

“I do know it,” he said, taking a step towards the two, and Nick moved his shoulder so that he was standing slightly in front of Greg, but Warrick refused to look away from the brown eyes of his lover. “I think that’s what scared me the most.”

Sensing the shift in tensions between Warrick and Greg, Nick looked between them and realized there was something going on he hadn’t been let in on. A frown appeared on his face.

“Warrick, I don’t care if you’re scared,” Greg said in a weary voice. “I’m fucking terrified. The least you can do is be scared. What I need to know that you’re not going to walk away. I need to know you’re going to be here.”

“Greg, I’m not going anywhere. I know I can’t lose either of you, not now, not ever.”

“I want to believe that, but look at us! The first time something serious happens, you run.”

“I won’t do it again. Baby, please, you have to trust me. I’m here for you, I swear it.”

“Baby?” The word slipped out of Nick’s mouth, causing Greg and Warrick to remember they weren’t alone, but Warrick didn’t care.

“Yes--baby. He’s mine and I’m his and we’re both Jack’s, if they’ll still have me.”

“And Jack survives the night,” Greg said softly and Warrick stepped forward, taking the younger man’s face between his hands.

“Don’t even think like that. He’ll make it. We’re not going to let him go.”

“Warrick. . .” Greg said, the name a plea on his lips and Warrick leaned forward to kiss him.

“Whoa! Okay,” Nick said, backing up, “you two want to tell me what’s going on?”

But Warrick and Greg didn’t seem to hear him as their arms wrapped around each other, their mouths meeting with all the desperation they’d been feeling since the words ‘The Blue Note’ first passed Grissom’s lips hours before.

“Baby, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I won’t leave you again, not ever.”

“It’s okay, Warrick, it’s okay. I just. . . I just need you here.”

“Of course,” he said, kissing the top of the blond head and holding Greg close. “Whatever you need, it’s yours.”

Nick, looking a little pale, stumbled backwards onto the bench, staring at his two friends taking comfort in each other in a way he never knew they were capable of. Warrick. . . and Greg. . . and Jack, too? It was a lot to take in all at once, but it also helped to explain a few things--the time they’d been spending together, the nights at the symphony, why they’d been arriving at work at the same time (though that was something he hadn’t fully registered until realizing the two of them were together), why Warrick had sounded so strange on the phone--he’d been worried not about his friend, but his. . . lover?

Warrick, and another man. Two other men. That was just something he couldn’t quite wrap his mind around.

And seeing this was definitely not helping ease his nerves.

Deciding Greg didn’t need him there anymore, Nick stood on shaky legs and slunk quietly down the hall.

“Nicky,” Warrick called out before he could escape, and he turned around.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for looking after him.”

“No problem. You just better not drop the ball again, all right?”

“Not gonna happen,” Warrick said with a smile, tightening his arms around Greg. In that moment, they looked so right together, Nick couldn’t help smiling back.

“Good to hear.”

“We’ll fill you in on all this later, okay?”

“Damn right you will. And don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”

“Thanks,” Warrick nodded.

“Nick, you can stay if you want,” Greg said, but Nick shook his head.

“I’ll be in the waiting room if you need me. I think you two have a lot to talk about. Good luck,” he said, and meant it. Yeah, sure, it had been completely unexpected, but they were his friends and he wasn’t about to let them down.

He walked into the waiting room, but didn’t stop, instead continuing past all the people gathered there and heading instead for the nearest exit.

“Nicky?” Grissom said, worry appearing on his face as he got up to follow him. The Texan had just been there giving them the latest update and Grissom hadn’t been expecting to see him again for at least another hour. “Nick, is everything all right?”

“What? Oh, yeah. I just needed some fresh air. Hospitals, you know,” he said with a sham of a smile.

“Is there anything wrong with Greg?”

“No, he’s fine. Warrick’s up there with him.”

Grissom’s eyebrows rose a centimeter. “Warrick’s here?”

“Just arrived,” Nick said, then gave his boss a calculating look. “Gris, do you ever get the feeling everyone’s hiding something from you?”

“All the time,” he answered with a small smile. “But that’s because they usually are.”

“So when you find out what it is they’re hiding, what do you do?”

“Well, assuming I have all the evidence in order, I write up a report, turn it into the D.A., and let them take over.”

This earned him a chuckle from Nick, who should have known that was the sort of answer he’d get. “Yeah, but what if it doesn’t have anything to do with a case? What do you do then?”

“Nicky, is there something you’d like to talk about?”

“I wish I could,” he sighed, lifting his head to look up at the midday sky, taking a moment to enjoy the feel of the sun on his face. “Man, I really don’t want to go back in there.”

“Go home. Get some rest.”

“Can’t. Told them I’d be here for them.”

“I’ll call you if anything happens,” Grissom said, placing a hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I promise. Go home and get some sleep.”

“What about you? I’m not the only one who could use a few hours shut-eye.”

“I’m switching out with Catherine when she gets here, probably within a couple hours.”

“That’s the way it works, isn’t it?” Nick said, glancing back at the hospital door. “When something bad happens, we take turns watching over each other, doing everything we can until it’s all made right again.”

“That’s the way it works, or so Catherine tells me,” Grissom said with a rueful smile. “Sometimes she’s the only way I learn these things.”

“You do pretty good on your own,” Nick said, meeting his eyes and holding his gaze. “You didn’t need any coaching to know how to be there for me.”

Grissom cleared his throat, looking away. “I guess some things are just instinctual.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” They stood there for a moment sharing an awkward silence, Grissom’s hand still on Nick’s shoulder. Finally, he let it drop and Nick stepped away. “I’m gonna head home. You’ll call me if anything happens?”

“I’ll call. Get at least three hours, Nick.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” he said, giving Grissom a half-wave as he headed towards the parking lot. With one last look at the retreating Texan, Grissom turned and went back into the hospital.


[Posted June 13, 2005]