The Breaking Point

Summary: Gil gets sprung but faces the ordeal of the awards ceremony and CNN.

A/N: Thoughts will be shown as ['Calm down']. Signing will be shown as: /*Calm down*/.
Gaelic will be shown as ("xxxxxxx").

Chapter 13: In the Deep End


~~~~~~~~~ Desert Palms Hospital ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Noreen had come early this morning. Usually he was happy to see her. With Sara gone she
was the bright spot in his day. But today he felt so incredibly tired. He had spent a
lot of time on the phone the last two days but he shouldn't be this tired. He hoped that
Sara enjoyed his few gestures. He enjoyed pampering Sara. He wanted to makeup for his
behavior before he finally crawled out of his microscope.

But he also wanted to makeup for all the sadness he knew she had suffered as a child.
['You can't carry the whole world's burdens Grissom…And you can't put a band-aid on the
whole world's hurts…I can try damn it!!!']

Yesterday's session in physical therapy had been incredibly taxing. Even with the massage
and shower afterwards he didn't feel refreshed. ['I'm probably anxious about that
ceremony today. I wish they had given the thing to Brass. I don't want to do this. Maybe
I can pass out or tell them I am too sick to go. Damn my leg really hurts today. I
probably will pass out.'] He was still deep in thought as Noreen trimmed his beard and
hair.

("You must look your best today. I'm that proud of you. And not a little grateful. Acht
we're done.") She turned the wheelchair around so he could look at himself in the
bathroom mirror. ("Dr. Grissom you do clean up nice. Now we need to see about those
clothes that Catherine brought over last night.")

("Noreen, I don't want to do this. This isn't me. I'm not a hero. This is such a media
sham. Ecklie was right I did this only because Sara was there. I'm a coward…the worst
kind of a coward.")

Grissom was startled out his pout by Noreen as she spun the wheelchair around so she could
speak to him face to face.

("A coward is it…so you are telling me that if Sara wanna there you would have just ducked
behind a car with your hands before your eyes and done nothing?")

("Well no…my friends were there…")

("Acht…so you are telling me that if your friends and colleagues wanna there you would
have just ducked behind a car with your hands before your eyes and done nothing?")

("Well no…")

("A man once said…To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.")

("Confucius")

("Now that's an intelligent man…So are you ready to get dressed in this fine suit and look
your best?")

("Ok…you win…") ['Hmm…he's giving up too easily…We usually go at least three or four
rounds before he agrees…'] Noreen thought and looked closely at Grissom's face. The
lines around his face seemed deeper…his eyes appeared tired and['…I'm not sure…Aye I'm
keeping my eye on you today…something is definitely wrong…'] As she was helping Grissom
with his shirt she surreptitiously felt his forehead. ['Little warmer than usual…could be
due to a lot of things.']

("You know that CNN is going to be filming this as part of National Police Day…So you must
look your best…I sent Sara an email about the time it would be on…So she will be watching
you…You want to be handsome for her…") A smile crossed Grissom's face.

['Good…now if I can just get him to smile like that for the photographers.'] ("Now the
makeup people and the anchor will be showing up anytime now…so I want you to be on your
best behavior.") She had just finished fixing his tie. "Marvelous." She slapped his
hand. "Catherine made sure it's silk and don't you go tugging on it."

At that moment a man and a woman walked in wearing CNN logos on all their clothes as well
as ID badges, carrying makeup kits. "Ah Dr. Grissom I believe. What can we do…let me
see. I guess we have to keep the beard…maybe…"

Gil was becoming more uncomfortable by the minute. They had just put a wrap around his
neck to prevent any makeup from soiling his suit. The CNN makeup artist was about to
start applying foundation when the CNN anchor walked in.

"Hold it right there." The female anchor walked up with her hand outstretched. "You must
be Dr. Grissom…mmm…No makeup required Kenny he will print just fine." ['Oh man…this guy
likes bugs and is forty- nine. No way. I wonder if he's married. Damn I should have
looked at the background material before we hit the air. Grrrr…meow…those blue eyes…those
laugh lines…that slightly exhausted look and that goatee-beard…oh man…I have got to get
this man…I bet he is h…']

Noreen was inwardly seething that the anchor woman was hitting on Grissom. ['Thank god
Sara's not here. Of course, if she were here the anchor woman wouldn't even try.'] She
could see Grissom was becoming very uncomfortable with this continued invasion of his
personal space. Sara warned her about this. ['Time to run interference.'] She thought.
"I am sure you all have places to be. I have to get Dr. Grissom ready to leave so if you
will excuse us, please."

After the CNN media people left Grissom let out the breath he had been holding. He was
really tired now.

"Dr. Grissom. We need to pack your stuff up my nephew Aron will take it to your home
before the ceremony. He will pick us up and then take you home. You are being discharged
today. The papers are over on your bedside table. All you have to do is sign them."

"Dr. Carruthers will be at the ceremony too…you know her younger brother was at that crime
scene…we are grateful to you Dr. Grissom." She kissed Gil on the top of the head. "So
many people owe you so much." She smiled at him so warmly he felt compelled to return the
smile in kind. "Now we must hurry or we will be late."

Carefully and methodically Noreen and Grissom packed the personal belongings he had
accumulated during his stay. The nursing staff came one by one and bid him farewell with
admonishments to take good care of himself and to tell him they would be watching CNN
today. His physical therapist came and left him with instructions and offered to help him
find a good private therapist and gave him his personal card.

Dr. Carruthers came and gave him a quick once over. She also felt something wasn't quite
right with Grissom and gave Noreen a telling look. When Grissom went into the bathroom to
use the facilities and retrieve his personal items, she pulled Noreen aside to talk to
her.

"Noreen, what is up with Grissom? He seems off today. Has he complained about any new
problems? I really don't want to keep him here any longer than I want."

"Aye Doctor Maxine, there is something. He says he's very tired. Could be this entire
hurrah. But I don't know. I will be keeping my eye on him. If there is a real problem I
will get in touch with you. I'm thinking he needs to be away from here for a while. What
he really needs is Sara Sidle. I am a poor substitute for that. I'll be watching him, no
fear."

"Noreen I'm depending on you. Look out for him. I'll see you at the ceremony."

"Aye…see you there."

Grissom wheeled himself out of the bathroom with the last of his personal belongings.
Noreen took the items from his lap and put them in the last box which she taped.

("Hello, Aron")

("Hello Aunt Noreen and Dr. Grissom"). He looked at his aunt with raised eyebrows. She
shook her head. She was not going to upset Dr. Grissom right now. Aron loaded the boxes
on the dolly he brought and followed his aunt out of the room as she pushed Grissom's
wheelchair down to the waiting Denali. Aron loaded the boxes, the dolly and Grissom's
crutches into the back of the Denali then he went around to the passenger side to help
transfer Grissom from the wheelchair to the Denali. ("Dr. Grissom are you comfortable? Do
ye have your speech?")

("Yes. Let's get this over with. I want to go home. I am very tired. I want to call
Sara.")

After checking that Grissom was buckled in properly Aron helped his aunt into the
backseat. Aron finally got into the driver's side seat and started the Denali. Grissom
drifted off to sleep. As they drove Noreen removed her seat belt and moved forward. She
noticed that Grissom had nodded off. She put her hand on his forehead and found it quite
warm. She shook her head hoping that things would settle down once they got him home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ritz-Carleton - NYC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara was tired but happy she had been able to attend three of the seminars she was
interested in last night. In the massage therapy session she discovered to her delight
that the presenter was an old friend of hers from Harvard. They had agreed to meet for an
extended lunch in her room this afternoon which was a free afternoon for both seminars.

Several of Grissom's colleagues had discovered she was attending the forensics seminar and
had cornered her this morning and peppered with questions about how he was doing. They
had heard about the shooting and were quite worried about his recovery. The morning
session was cut short once they found out about the nationally televised Police Day
Ceremonies.

No one at the seminar could ever recall that a criminalist had received a medal for valor;
a cable feed was secured so that the program from CNN could be projected onto the seminar
screen.

Five minutes to air time. Sara was very nervous. She had wanted so much to be with Gil
for this ordeal and an ordeal it would be for this very private man.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Parking Lot of LV CSI Lab ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The parking lot of the LV CSI Lab had been transformed into a large open air auditorium
the seats were filling quickly. CNN had setup plenty of equipment for the live video feed
for the National Police Day telecast. The dais had been constructed with a small ramp at
the back to accommodate Grissom's wheelchair.

Aron parked the vehicle in the VIP section reserved for the mayor and other dignitaries.
He helped Noreen transfer Gil into the wheelchair. Noreen saw that Grissom was becoming
increasingly reserved as they approached the dais.

She stopped the chair for a moment and asked that Aron push the chair. She felt she
should be holding Grissom's hand for support. ['This man does not want to be here…I'm a
poor substitute for Sara.'] "Dr. Grissom…your mother is going to be here today…"

"My mother but she was sick…she couldn't come to visit me…how"

"They arranged for a private charter for her…she's much better…she plans to stay here for
a while until you are better…now isn't that a cheery bit of news."

"Where is she?"

"She'll be arriving anytime now…" Cath handed Noreen the phone and mouthed Sara's name.
"Dr. Grissom someone would like to speak to you on the phone."

Gil's annoyance soon turned to joy. "Sara…is that you? I missed you…" Noreen motioned
for everyone to leave Grissom alone for a few minutes.

"Sara…Did you get everything…is your room okay? Do you need anything? Oh Sara…If you
knew how much I want to kiss you…how much I want to kiss your lips…and that place on your
neck and oh Sara…oh yeah…"

"I'm glad you got here on time Gil…we'll be getting started soon you can finish your phone
call later." But as Ecklie was about to reach for the phone Noreen smacked his hand away.

"Bugger off…this man is in my charge…Now move off before I am forced to call a
constable…Ah Aron and Captain Brass…can you show this gentleman where he is supposed to
sit?"

When Ecklie had been escorted to his seat, Noreen leaned over and said to Grissom "Let me
apologize for my language…now continue your phone call…I'm sure they won't start without
you."

"Sara…are you still there? Oh thank god…Sara…" Noreen stepped out of hearing not wanting
to intrude. ['I hope this will cheer him up…']

She kept on eye on Capt Brass who promised to signal when they had to be on the dais. When
he signaled two minutes she was going to tell Dr. Grissom when he touched her arm and
handed her the phone.

"Thank you Noreen. Do you think you could get me some ice chips? My throat is very dry."
He started coughing after that.

Noreen signaled for Aron. "Aron there's a small cooler in the Denali. It has some ice
chips. Please bring it."

Aron arrived back just as Noreen had settled Grissom in his assigned place on the dais.
She handed him a cup of ice chips. She rubbed his back in soothing circles as he let the
chips melt slowly in his mouth and let the cool liquid sooth his throat.

"Feeling better?" Grissom nodded. He didn't say much as Noreen continued to feed him ice
chips.

The mayor and the Chief of the LVPD went through all the lesser awards. There would be
only one award for valor today. Before they knew it the moment was upon them.

"Ok my darling doctor. We have been practicing this for three days. You can do it just
go slow…" As all eyes swiveled towards Grissom he slowly himself lifted himself from the
wheelchair.

When he was almost standing Aron stepped to his side to steady him while Noreen handed him
his crutches one at time. Once he had them secured under his arms he slowly walked
forward the three steps necessary to get to his appointed spot. The mayor began his
speech:

"Honored guests, members of the city council, chief, members of the LVPD and the CSI and
Ladies and Gentlemen. Today we are going to award for the first time our highest award
for bravery above and beyond the call of duty to a criminalist and a forensic
entomologist, Dr. Gilbert Aaron Grissom." The parking lot exploded into applause. "Please
hold your applause until after the award is given. The citation reads:

"On the night of the fourteenth of July two thousand five while processing a
multiple homicide crime scene members of a gang related to the murder victims came
back to the scene. Due to his timely warning Dr Grissom allowed the seven police
officers and six CSIs on the scene time to take cover but more than that Dr.
Grissom opened fire and drew fire to himself and away from his fellow officers and
CSIs. Sadly, Dr. Grissom was severely wounded in this exchange and nearly lost
his life to these wounds. So far heroism above and beyond the call of duty we
award our highest award for valor to Dr. Gilbert Aaron Grissom."

The mayor stepped forward and draped the medal around his neck and shook his hand.
"Congratulations, Gil. I hope you are feeling better."

"Thank you Mayor." The audience exploded into raucous applause as the other people on the
dais rose and clapped vigorously. The members of his team could see the tears forming in
his eyes.

The appreciation and respect for their boss, their mentor, their friend was palpable.
With renewed strength Grissom raised one hand as he signaled for silence.

"A friend was told me 'To know what is right and not to do it is the worst cowardice.'
This is an old saying of Confucius. I thought at one time that I was the worst kind of
coward. That what I did that night was to protect a dear friend, to protect the love of
my life, someone who is very far from my side this afternoon. But this friend showed me
that even if it had been thirteen strangers that I would have acted no differently. James
Allen also said in regards to courage: 'You will never do anything in this world without
courage. It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.' I have always tried to
live my life with honor, to follow the evidence no matter where it leads. This afternoon
the evidence confirms that I am proud of the fact that the friends and families of those
thirteen friends and colleagues do not have to mourn either the death or pain of their
loved ones. Thank you."

Grissom was so tired and dizzy now. Whatever reserves of strength he had were totally
depleted. However a total collapse was prevented by the alert actions of Noreen and Aron
who maneuvered the wheelchair behind Grissom before he collapsed.

The applause was louder than before if that were possible. Aron wheeled Grissom back to
his previous position while Noreen moved smelling salts beneath his nose.

"Come on Dr. Grissom. A little while longer and we can go home." She fed him some ice
chips as his awareness returned. He put up his hand to signal her to stop.

"Can we go now?" Grissom rasped.

"Just a minute darling. Aron keep an eye on Gilbert. I need to talk to someone. I'm
thinking we need to get him home." Noreen looked around for Captain Brass. "Aye Captain,
I'm thinking Dr. Grissom needs to go home to bed. He's not feeling very good and I think
he may be coming down with something. Can you clear it with your superiors? Is there at
least somewhere he can rest?"

"Come on Noreen let's take him into the break room. We can make him comfortable and then I
can find out when he can leave. Everyone will stay outside eating at the buffet. Should
be fairly quiet in here."

So Brass, Aron and Noreen wheeled Grissom into the break room and transferred him to the
couch where he promptly fell asleep. Brass left to find the Sheriff, the Chief, the Mayor
and the Lab Director.

~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ritz-Carleton NYC ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the live feed was projected onto the screen at the seminar, Sara searched for the face
and form of Grissom. She saw him sitting in a wheelchair on the dais.

She saw an older woman hovering protectively nearby feeding him ice chips and rubbing his
back every now and again. ['He's trimmed his beard. I think I can get used to
that…reminds me of a pirate. Is it possible? How does he do that? So sexy…That must be
Noreen'] she thought.

['Gil looks tense but it was hard to tell. I'll have a better idea later.'] She had
enjoyed hearing his voice immensely and was glad she had called. She hadn't gotten a real
sense of how he was but could tell from his voice that he was incredibly tired. She knew
something happened and they were almost cutoff but then Gil got back on the phone and
finished their conversation. ['God how she missed that man.']

Now she was watching the events unfold on CNN waiting for Gil's moment in the sun. She
imagined that he was uncomfortable. He didn't want to be in the spotlight; he wanted the
evidence to be in the spotlight, the work.

He didn't realize how charismatic he was; how the camera loved him. People in his orbit
were inexorably drawn into his universe; his way of thinking; his way of doing the job.
They left in awe of his intellect, his ethics and his integrity.

And then she felt rather than heard the suspension of breath as all eyes were now riveted
on the screen. She watched as Grissom rose and walked the three steps forward to receive
his medal. She scanned the faces closest to her and watched the expressions as they
watched their colleague move forward.

As the camera zoomed in for a tight shot on the Mayor reading the citation for valor she
scrutinized Gil's face trying to gauge how he might be feeling right now. She saw the
tiredness the exhaustion written on his face. ['He doesn't look well at all.'] She
thought. ['How is he managing to get through this?'] She began to worry.

The auditorium erupted into applause as the medal was draped around his neck. Cries of
"Atta boy Gil" "Way to go Gil" echoed through the auditorium. A respectful silence fell
when Grissom moved forward to the podium to say a few words. She could feel eyes trained
on her as she was mentioned in his words. Her eyes glistened with tears of pride at the
few simple words he spoke.

She wondered at Noreen's part in getting him ready for this ordeal. Her heart was in her
mouth as the speech ended and she saw how close to collapse he was and how the quick
actions of Noreen and the young man with her maneuvered the wheelchair in time to prevent
any embarrassment to Gil. She was relieved that they were able to whisk him away.

She hoped that Gil was being taken home, home where he could rest. Now that it was over
she broke down and began crying as the events of the last weeks came crowding in all at
once. She felt rather than saw the people crowding around her to offer their
congratulations on Gil's fine speech. How proud they were of him. She knew that there
would be interviews but she also knew she had to call and make sure he was okay. She had
to get out and get to a phone.

~~~~~~~~~ LV CSI Lab ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brass finally found the Sheriff and the Mayor outside near the head of the buffet table in
deep discussion. "Sheriff, Mayor. Could we talk? Privately?" The three men walked off.
"Look, the ceremony is over can Dr. Grissom leave? He's not feeling very good."

"I'm sorry he's not feeling well. CNN has requested an interview and we accepted for
Grissom. Do that and he can go home."

"Ok I'll tell them. Set it up for Grissom's office in twenty minutes."

Captain Brass hurried to the break room Grissom was sound asleep. Noreen lookup
expectedly. "Well?"

"He has do one interview…in his office…he can sit in the wheelchair behind his desk…then
he can leave."

"An interview…the man is sick. I mean really sick. By rights he should be back in the
hospital…but his doctor and I agree home would be best for him now. Sara should be here
with him but no she's in New York. His mom is here. Does she get to see him no! What
more do they want from him! I guess they would have been happier if he had died…not so
much trouble…"

"Noreen! They are political animals. We'll get this over as quickly as possible. Look,
I care about Gil. He's my best friend. I'm trying to buy him some political capital for
the future. He does this interview and Ecklie won't be able to touch him. He will be
able to recover in relative calm. He's got to hold it together for another twenty, thirty
minutes tops."

In her heart she knew he was right, but it felt wrong. The man she had gotten to know is
so little time didn't deserve this, he deserved to be treasured. He was a rare man. A
man of intellect and ethics, of passion and compassion, a man who did his job and never
wavered from the truth regardless of what it might cost him personally and professionally.

He had finally gathered himself to win the love of his life and fate conspired to try to
take his life; then to cripple him; and finally to torture him. Petty minds tried to
separate these two lovers but they will triumph in the end. Of this Noreen was certain.
['So I guess I have to get him up and ready for one last battle…']

Noreen went back to the couch. She felt his forehead. ['It was hot. Great no question
now he is definitely sick…I wonder if Dr. Max is still here…'] "Aron here is Dr. Max's
number I know she's outside somewhere get her in here now!"

"Dr. Grissom you need to wake up." Noreen said as she gently shook him. Grissom's eyes
fluttered. "Sleep…need to sleep."

With much pushing and prodding she got Grissom vertical. Aron arrived with Dr. Maxine
Carruthers in tow. "Dr. Carruthers, he's really sick can you check him out?"

"I was afraid of this…Ok Noreen let's get his jacket off then his shirt." She took a
digital thermometer out of her bag and stuck it in his mouth. She was taking his pulse,
then she took his blood pressure. Finally, the digital thermometer alarm went off
signaling it was ready for the temperature to be read.

['102 degrees…damn…pulse elevated…'] Now she was listening to his chest…['Don't like that
rattle.'] "Dr. Grissom I am afraid you have pneumonia. Do you want to go back to the
hospital?"

"No hospital…want to go home…where's my mother? Where's Sara?"

"Dr. Carruthers they want him do an interview before they'll let him go."

"Ok I'll give him a shot of antibiotics and a shot of adrenaline and something for the
fever…short interview…then take him home. Get these prescriptions filled I'll have some
oxygen tanks delivered to his house…he will need twenty-four supervision. You know how to
take care of someone with pneumonia. I'll come by later to check on him. We'll decide
what to do then."

Noreen helped Grissom back into his shirt and suit and tie. "Dr. Grissom, I've given you
a shot of antibiotics and a shot of adrenaline and something for your fever. You will
feel better for a little while. You should be on your way within the hour. Damn
politics. Ill come check on you later. You get some rest."

"Aron help me get Dr. Grissom into the chair we'll take him into his office…how are you
feeling now Dr. Grissom."

Gil felt slightly better but somewhat wired. ['Let me get through this…I want to go
home.']

"I think I can make it…but that's it. I want to go home and talk to Sara. I want to see
my mother."

"Your mother will sit in on the interview. She will make sure it's cut as short as
possible. Let's get to your office and get this done."

When they reached the office they saw Grissom's mother supervising the camera crew being
very specific about what modifications they could make to her son's office. "Gilbert…dear"
When she kissed her son's forehead she looked both worried and displeased.

"This will be a short interview. Fifteen minutes that's it. My son is tired and needs his
rest." Noreen noted that Mrs. Grissom had obviously put the fear of God or of Mrs.
Grissom into all the CNN personnel. The anchorwoman arrived and Mrs. Grissom informed her
in no uncertain terms she had fifteen minutes then she was taking her son home to rest.

"Good afternoon, we are speaking live with Mrs. Olivia Mary MacDonald Bruce Grissom and
her son Dr. Gilbert Aaron Grissom. Mrs. Grissom how do you feel about the medal for valor
your son received earlier today?"

"It doesn't surprise me a bit. My son has always done the right thing. He has always
shown the courage of his convictions. He's a gentle, compassionate and passionate man. I
know he is admired and respected by his colleagues."

"Did you know that he supports several charitable foundations? Did you know he has over
two hundred and fifty patents? Why would it surprise you that he would save other
people's lives?"

"He works every day to discover the evidence that sends guilty people to jail and frees
the innocent. His work saves potential victims. He has never done anything to bring
shame upon himself or to make me anything but proud of him…"

"Mom…please."

"Dr. Grissom your mother seems to be quite the staunch supporter…"

"She is my mother. I am glad that no one was killed or hurt…"

"I thought you were hurt…"

"Well that's true but…"

Noreen chose that moment to jump into the conversation. "Aye he was very seriously
hurt…he could have died…"

("Noreen please…please don't go on…it's not important.")

("Gilbert…be quiet")

("Listen to your mother…Gilbert")

"Hey hold on what's going on…please English…"

"We are speaking Gaelic, Scots Gaelic" Mrs. Grissom replied. "My son also speaks Latin,
German, French, ASL and Italian. He's quite fond of opera…"

"And would you care to introduce yourself…"

"Aye my name is Noreen McCollum. Dr. Grissom saved my nephew's life. I am a registered
nurse and I looking after Dr. Grissom while he recuperates and until his dear Sara
returns…"

"Dear Sara? Could you explain?"

"Aye Miss Sara Sidle. She works at the Lab with Dr. Grissom. The poor dears had only
been going together for a month when he was shot and now the poor girl is in NYC and they
canna be together."

"And you know Noreen…he quite fell in love with her the first time they met. But you know
men it took him more than ten years to go out with her…But they are such a sweet couple…I
am expecting some grandchildren…"

"Aye that will be nice…How many would you be wanting?"

"Well boys always seem to run in the Grissom family and twins too. Although it would be
nice to have at least one girl."

By now Grissom was quite resigned to being totally embarrassed and becoming the laughing
stock of the entire lab. The anchorwoman was quite amused at this turn of events. ['This
is definitely a story worthy of a followup. I don't think I'll have any problems doing a
series on this Dr. Grissom…I might make him a media star. I am going to get some deep
background material on him…Man does he look good…']

"And that's the background on Dr. Gilbert Aaron Grissom, recipient of the medal of valor,
criminalist, forensic entomologist, philanthropist, scientist, inventor, beloved son,
prospective husband and father?"

"And cut…that's a wrap."

"Noreen you take Gill home…I'm going to make sure these cable people clean up after
themselves…Jim or Nicky will drive me over to Gil's house…"

"Dinna you worry…I'll put him to bed…he needs his rest."

Despite his embarrassment, Grissom had drifted off and was quite asleep and did not wake
up once during the trip back to his townhouse.

TBC